The Second Virginity of Suzy Green (11 page)

And when the
cords of our bags got all tangled while we were taking them off the pile and we
ended up connected to one another; well, it was a sign. And Ryan felt it too. I
could see. It was written all over his face. And from that moment on we were
inseparable. I lift my feet up onto the chair and wrap my arms around my knees
as a feeling of warmth engulfs me. There was nothing to dislike about Ryan. He
was kind, funny, sensitive (not in a girly way) and to me, at age sixteen,
perfect.

I remember
holding his hand while sitting beside the river watching the boats go by, and
laughing at the fishermen desperately trying to catch something to take home
for tea and justify their absence from home the entire day.

In the evenings
we’d sneak out of our cabins to meet. And when we decided to do it, it just
seemed the most natural thing in the world. Ryan didn’t try to persuade me. We
both wanted to. And I never regretted it for one single moment. And I’ve also
never wanted to do it with anyone else since. How could I, it would just be sex
for sex’s sake? And I know lots of girls my age don’t care. But that’s because
they haven’t had what Ryan and I had. But that was over a year ago.

I shake my head to
try and rid the memories. Things have changed. I’ve moved on, at least in some
ways I have. Ryan has definitely moved on. Dreaming about the past isn’t going
to change the future. Even so, I can’t consider anything that might harm him.

“Sorry, no. It’s
too mean. It’s not his fault I’ve got myself into this mess.”

“Here we go.
You’re too soft. Look, remember he’s standing between you and Guy. You do still
like Guy don’t you?”

“You know I do.
But I don’t want to hurt Ryan if I can help it.”

“Suzy. What are
you on? One minute you’re prepared to do anything, killing aside. And now you
don’t want to hurt him.”

“I know. I know.
It’s hard. I just don’t want everyone to hate him. Though they don’t even know
him apart from Starbucks. I wonder what school he goes to?”

“Why? Are you
planning to go see him? To beg him not to—” Her voice slows right down and I
know we’ve got it.

“Are you
thinking what I’m thinking?” I ask, dropping my legs to the floor and sitting
upright.

“It depends on
what you’re thinking.” Maddie replies.

“That I should
speak to him and find out what it will take for him to remain silent.” Why are
all the best ideas the most simple?

“Yeah. I don’t
know why we didn’t think of it before. It certainly beats killing him. And a
lot less messy.” She can say that again.

***

“Suzy. Suzy.
Come and sit here.” I glance up without thinking at the sound of Lori’s voice
which effectively ruins my plan to sit as far away from her this morning as I
can. Not for any reason other than she’s going to want the low down on last
night. And I feel as much like discussing it as I do flying to the moon. I was
even thinking about sitting next to Janey, though that probably isn’t a good
idea. I can’t hack dealing with anything else at the moment.

Quite
understandably I got virtually no sleep last night, spending most of the time
working out how to approach Ryan and what to say. In fact I didn’t drop off
until about half an hour before my alarm sprang into action—not that it will do
that again. In my temper I threw it across the room. Not a good move, I’ll probably
be late for school every day from now on.

“Hi,” I say
dropping down on the chair and resting my bag on my lap while I start to take
out my books and pens.

“Well?” She
says, her eyes all wide and expectant, excitement clearly getting the better of
her. “How did it go?”

“Good.” Well,
I’m hardly going to say otherwise. “Went to see the latest Stephen King movie,
which was awesome.”

“I bet. What did
you see that for? You should’ve made him see what you wanted.”

“It was my
choice.”

Lori rolls her
eyes to the ceiling. “Are you sure? I hate movies like that. And how was tea?
Did Guy behave himself?”

“He was perfect.
I’m sure Mom and Dad liked him.”

“What do you
mean? Didn’t they say? My mom always makes her feelings known about my
boyfriends.”

Now she mentions
it, it’s strange that Mom hardly said anything about Guy. When I think back to
Rosie’s boyfriend Steve, who she was seeing before the accident, Mom always
said how much she liked him. He was nice. Probably still is. Similar to Guy in
many ways, as in he’s rich and popular.

“Hey Suzy,”
calls Aaron when he walks past my desk, forcing my mind back to the present.
“Good job.”

“Thanks.” I turn
to Lori, after he’s gone. “What’s he talking about?”

“No idea.”

“Yay, Suzy.”
Mark comes over and pats me on the back.

“Thanks, Mark.
But I haven’t a clue what you mean.” He drops his bag on my desk and leans on
it.

“You haven’t
seen the notice board then?”

“No. I—” My jaw
drops to the floor. Shit. He can’t be talking about— “Do you mean I’m—”

“Yeah. You won
the vote. You’re on the Committee.”

A broad smile
crosses my face and sticks like glue. And all I can do is flash it at everyone.
This is so amazing. I wish Rosie was here to see it. She’d never believe I
could do such a thing. Well let’s be honest, I never believed I could do such a
thing. And Maddie will just die—with shame or pride, I’m not sure which.

“Awesome.” I
finally manage to reply. My jaw aches from smiling, but I can’t seem to relax
it. I’m going to look stupid if I grin through the entire lesson.

“You rock,
Suzy,” Lori says giving me a hug. “So the best girl really did win.”

Yeah, the best,
lying, two-faced, manipulative girl won. Oh crap. That soon wiped the smile off
my face.

“Thanks.” I pull
away from her and pretend to rummage through my bag for more books and stuff.

Suddenly my
euphoria has turned to major-angst. What is the point in reveling in all this
popularity when all too soon it will turn to shit? Unless by some absolute
miracle Ryan disappears in a puff of smoke and my tangled web remains in tact.
I’ve got to get to him as soon as I can. Trouble is I don’t know what shifts
he’s working. He did say after school and weekends. Maybe I should risk going
to see if he’s there today, rather than waiting for the weekend. As long as
no-one from school is there. If anyone sees me talking to him and it gets back
to Guy or Lori I’ll be in big trouble.

“Let’s go out
after school to celebrate,” Lori says.

What is it with
this girl? Does she have a hotline to my most dreaded thoughts?

“Sorry I can’t.
Promised Mom I’d meet her in town to do some shopping. What about tomorrow?”

“Can’t tomorrow.
Netball practice. The weekend then. Unless you’ve already made plans,” she
fixes me with a penetrating stare. “Have you?” She giggles then draws a heart
on her pad and puts Guy and Suzy in the middle of it.

“Weekend’s great.
I haven’t made plans with anyone.” I lean over and scribble out the heart.
“Don’t. In case anyone sees.”

I shield the top
of my eyes to reduce the glare from the glass and press my face against the
window, lucky I have a small nose or it could be painful. But I still can’t
make out whether Ryan is there or not.

I can see the
pretty blond girl, that all the guys have a thing for, swinging her hips as she
walks to the tables and picks up the dirty mugs. And standing behind the
counter serving is a geeky looking boy who I swear is barely twelve years old.
Other than that, nada. And not many customers either.

Knowing my luck
he isn’t working tonight. Then again, it was a long-shot, especially as he
worked yesterday. They probably share out the shifts. Looks like I’ll have to
come back tomorrow, though I could go in and ask when he’s next working. If I
dare. And if I can be sure none of them will say anything to anyone from
school. That’s all I need, for some gossip-tart to tell Lori or whoever that
I’ve been asking about Ryan.

I turn around
and lean against the window with my arms folded, debating what to do. In my
peripheral vision I see someone waving but that’s all I can make out. As they
get closer I realize that the wave is, in fact, meant for me. Oh, yay. Now what
am I to do? It’s too late to do a runner.

“Suzy, hi.”

I stand away
from the window, whilst inwardly debating the probability ratio of Guy turning
up and finding me—help I’m a math geek and someone forgot to tell me.

“Guy. What are
you doing here?”

Of all the
people in all the world I had to bump into him. It’s like he’s electronically tagged
me or something. I mean it’s very strange that he turns up at just the right
moment. If I didn’t know better I’d say he’s stalking me. Yeah, right. Just
like he’s prepared to go on stage to declare his feelings for me. I really need
to get a grip. That or stop drinking so much diet cola because something seems
to be fuddling my mind.

“I could ask you
the same question. You told me you were working on your project tonight.” He
doesn’t miss a trick.

“Well I was,
then Mom asked me to meet her, but she hasn’t turned up. I bet the car’s broken
down again. We’re always having trouble.” I roll my eyes upward in pretend
frustration at our car. Which really is in perfect working order, even if it is
several years older than the new car Guy’s parents bought for him.

“Shall we go
into Starbucks and wait, before this drizzle turns into a shower?”

Drizzle? I
didn’t even notice it start raining. It might be nice to go inside now I know
Ryan isn’t there, and actually enjoy my drink rather than rush it like last
night.

“Sure. I’ll text
Mom and tell her not to come. I’ll catch the bus. It’s too late for shopping
now anyway.” Just listen to the lies drip out of my mouth.

“I’ll give you a
ride.” A smile plays around the corners of his mouth and I feel all gooey
inside. He’s such a sweetie. And of course I wasn’t angling for a ride home
when I said I’d catch the bus. As if I’d be that manipulative.

“Thanks. And my
treat in Starbucks.”

We walk in and
Guy goes to find a table while I head for the counter and stand in line behind
a woman with her two children, and in front of them a couple of girls about my
age. I turn to watch Guy from behind as he strides across the floor. Not that
I’d say this to anyone, other than Maddie and probably Janey because she’s not
in the club so won’t find it inappropriate, but he has an awesome body. I knew
there had to be a purpose to the football team training sessions he attends
twice a week.

“Suzy. Back
again?”

No. No. No. This
isn’t happening to me. I swallow hard. Tell me that voice and smiling face
don’t belong to Ryan. That it’s just a hallucination. It’s got to be.

“Suzy?” he
repeats.

“One grande
caramel frappuccino, no cream, lots of caramel and a mug of coffee with milk
please.” I desperately try to resist the urge to bring my hands up to my cheeks
and hide the extent to which they are burning up, because that will only draw
attention to them.

“Coming up,” he
says smiling at me and appearing totally oblivious to my dilemma. He takes the
money from my hand. “I’ll bring them over to you, if you like,” he says after
giving me my change. “You’re over there with that guy, aren’t you?”

“You know Guy?”
I ask, my voice sounding more like a strangulated cat than remotely belonging
to me.

“No. Why?”

“You said his
name. You said I’m here with guy and—”

“That guy, I
said.” He laughs. “I don’t know him. So don’t worry.”

What did he mean
by that? Does he know I’m worried about what he might say? Or is it a veiled
threat? Don’t worry now but just watch out because sometime when you’re least
expecting it I’m going to drop you in it from a great height.

“We need to
talk,” I whisper. “Can you meet me?”

“Sure,” he
replies in his normal voice. Hasn’t he heard of discretion? “Give me five
minutes.”

“Not here,” I
say through clenched teeth. “What about after school tomorrow at Victoria
Park.”

He puts down the
mug in his hand and stares at me, a puzzled look crossing his face.

“Is your
boyfriend coming?” He nods in the direction of Guy.

“Don’t be
silly,” I hiss. “Of course he isn’t. Will you meet me or not?” I glare at him.
Stop it Suzy. You’re not exactly in a position of power here. “Sorry I didn’t
mean to snap. Is it okay?”

“Yeah.” He
shrugs. This boy certainly has perfected the art of acting cool. “Four o’clock
by the children’s play area. Okay?”

“Thanks.” Phew.
I could kiss him. Maybe that’s not such a good thought to be having.

“I’ll wait for
the drinks, no need for you to bring them over.” I move to the side, so he can
serve the person who’s just turned up behind me, and watch. He’s hardly changed
a bit; maybe grown some and broader than before. And he still has that dimple
in his chin. I used to think it so cute and—