The Second Virginity of Suzy Green (13 page)

“Suzy,” Ryan
says putting his arm across my shoulders. “You can’t blame yourself for that.
These things happen. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Try telling Mom
that. When I told her about the present she asked me not to give it to Rosie
because it was too dangerous. But I didn’t listen. Mom’s scared of flying, so
of course she’d be worried.” I sit up, his arm still around me and lean into
him. We fit so well together. Crap, did I just think that? I pull away. “And
Rosie was so thrilled when I gave her the present. I knew I’d made the right
decision. Knew I’d given her something she’d remember for the rest of her life.
What life?”

“Suzy, stop. You
can’t blame yourself.”

“Why not?
Everyone else does.” I bite so hard on my bottom lip I taste blood.

“They told you
that, did they?”

“Didn’t have to.
It was written all over their faces. You don’t know. You weren’t there.”

This is crazy.
Wallowing in self pity isn’t going to resolve anything. I jump up from the sofa
and go stand by the French windows. I peer into the garden then turn to face
Ryan. “Whatever. It’s in the past. I’ve started a new life. I can’t bring Rosie
back, but I can do what it takes to make my parents proud and not be any more
trouble.” I fold my arms and lean against the window.

“And how do I
fit into all this? I’m assuming that’s why you asked to see me.”

“I don’t want
anyone to know about us.”

“Why not? What
difference does it make?” He frowns, then suddenly an ‘I get it’ expression
crosses his face. “It’s because I don’t go to your
elite
school, isn’t
it?”

“You know where
I go to school?”

“I recognized
the guy you were with the other night. He played football at our school a few
weeks ago and he’s also been hanging around giving out leaflets for this
strange Virginity Club thing he’s involved in. He didn’t get many takers
though.” He laughs. “Many at your school join?”

The blood rushes
to my head faster than a speeding train and Ryan’s jaw literally drops.

“Suzy, don’t
tell me you’ve joined.” I nod. “But you can’t.”

I clench and
unclench my fists. “No-one there knows I don’t qualify. Please don’t say
anything. I’ll do anything. I mean it. Anything. Just please don’t tell.” Ryan
shakes his head an incredulous expression on his face.

“Why did you do
it?”

“You wouldn’t
understand.”

“Try me.” His
voice is firm, but his eyes are kind. That was one of the things I always
loved, I mean liked, about him. His kind eyes. But I can’t tell him the real
reason. I’ve confided too much in him, as it is.

“Because
everyone else is in it and I didn’t want to be left out. Please say you won’t
tell. It will totally wreck everything if you do.”

“And you’ll do
anything to buy my silence?”

Geez. The way he
said anything and that scary twinkle in his eye. I just know he’s going to make
me sleep with him again.

But I can’t.

But I have to.

But that would
be a disaster.

What the hell am
I going to do?

Maddie, help.

“I said so
didn’t I?” But let me tell you if you force me to sleep with you again it will
eradicate all the good memories I have of you from before. Not that you
probably care.

“This is the
deal,” he finally says, fixing me with a stare that makes me squirm. I hold my
breath, bracing myself for the inevitable. “The price for my silence is,” he
pauses a moment. He sure knows how to milk situations for all they’re worth.
“The price for my silence—is—you—go out with me.”

“You want to go
out with me?” There’s got to be a catch here. It surely can’t be this easy for
my secret to remain intact.

“You got it.
Just once, in a few weeks’ time.” He sits back in the sofa looking decidedly
smug.

There’s got to
be some ulterior motive. And why do I have to wait for a few weeks? Why can’t
it be—Friday? Actually Friday isn’t good for me because it’s the meeting. And
I’m certainly not going to suggest he comes along. No way.

“And if I agree
to this you agree to say nothing about our friendship.”

“Friendship.
Hmm. I’d have called it more than that.” A smile tugs at the corners of his
mouth but it quickly evaporates. “But maybe that’s all it was to you.” His tone
becomes harsher and he glares at me.

How can he think
that? Maybe I should tell him why I didn’t get in touch. But what’s the point?
We’re history. And that’s where we’ll stay. Apart from when we go out. And it’s
so weird that he wants to. He must realize I’m with Guy now—at least I hope I
am, Guy didn’t say anything today about going out again. Though to be fair I
didn’t really see him much and even then loads of other people were around.

And another
thing, if I go out with Ryan how on earth am I going to explain it to Guy? Not
to mention Lori and the gang. They’ll truly think I’ve lost it if they find
out. Ryan’s not exactly what they’d consider a prime catch.

I look across at
Ryan, absorbing the way he’s dressed and his easy manner. You know, he might be
the total antithesis of what they’re like at school but he’s still cute. But
cute won’t work for me. I’m a girl on a mission and that means my efforts must
be firmly focused on my goal.

“It’s a deal. As
long as I choose where we go.”

There’s a method
in my madness. If it’s my decision I can make sure it’s well away from prying
eyes.

“No.” He looks
across at me, the expression on his face daring me to disagree. Well he can’t
frighten me.

“But I’m—”

“I’ve got two
tickets for Truck-fest next month and—”

“Truck-fest,” I
scream, my hand shooting up to cover my mouth. “Truck-fest,” I say through
splayed fingers. “You have tickets for Truck-fest? That is the coolest thing
ever.” I am just about to run over and fling my arms around his neck when I
abruptly pull myself back and wrap my arms around my middle instead.

Get a grip girl.
Sorry.

Anyway,
Truck-fest isn’t the sort of thing I go to now as I’m not that kind of girl any
more. Though it looks like I may not have a choice. I’m going to have to bite
the bullet and go. Oh dear!

Maddie and I lined
up for hours when Truck-fest came to Dallas. And was it worth it? You bet it
was. The sight of those trucks racing around the circuit. It was awesome. And
the atmosphere was wicked. I couldn’t hear properly for a week after. Maddie’s
going to be so jealous when I tell her where I’m going. She’s always saying
we’ve got to go again. Good job I only put my Doc Martens to the back of the closet
and didn’t throw them away. Same goes for my old clothes, seeing as it isn’t an
event where one makes a fashion statement—well not one of the Lori variety, anyway.

“So you approve
then?” Ryan grins and my heart does yet another flip. I dread to think how many
times it’s done that since I’ve bumped into him, which isn’t a good sign. It’s
not because I have the hots for him still. I think it’s just a bad case of nerves.
Yes, that’s definitely it. Anyone in my position would be feeling the same. I’m
sure.

“I do,” I say,
unable to stop a huge smile crossing my face and staying there. And I can’t
imagine anyone from school will be going which is the hugest relief ever.

So at the moment
all is right with the world.

***

“He seems a nice
boy,” Mom says after Ryan leaves. “Very different from Guy though.” Yeah well
it doesn’t take rocket science to work that one out. Nor does it take rocket
science to work out she means Guy is more suitable, coming from a rich family
and being so polite and stuff. Definitely a Rosie sort of boyfriend.

Not that Ryan
isn’t polite, but you can just tell he comes from a different background.
Though, to be fair, she wasn’t off with him at all.

“Yes Maddie and
I met him a couple of years ago at camp. He’s great. We all hung out together
in a big group. It sure surprised me when I saw him working in Starbucks.”

“So how come
he’s living here then?”

“I’m not sure. I
didn’t ask. I’ll ask him next time I see him.”

“You’re seeing
him again? Won’t Guy mind?”

“Mom, we’re
friends. Of course Guy won’t mind. But I might not mention it to him. So don’t
say anything it if he comes around.”

Why am I telling
her all this? I think Maddie’s right. I should go back to playing things close
to my chest rather than blurting out everything given the slightest
opportunity. It’s not natural for a girl of my age to confide in her Mom like
this. Although Rosie did. I remember they used to have their ‘catch-up chat’
whenever Rosie came around. Mind you, Mom seemed to look forward to their chats
more than Rosie did.

And Rosie did
keep some things secret—I still don’t think Mom knows about the butterfly
tattoo she had on her left butt-cheek. Rosie said she did it for a bet. I was
more than surprised, let me tell you—you think you know someone then they do
something totally random. It was pretty—pink, blue and purple in a swirly
pattern and made me want to have one—except I couldn’t face the pain.

“Don’t get
yourself in trouble by playing them both along,” Mom says cutting into my
thoughts. “You’ll get yourself a bad reputation. When I was your age girls who
played the field didn’t get the nice boys.”

Yeah, yeah,
yeah. I hardly think I’m going to get myself a reputation for being a ho,
seeing as I’m a member of the Virginity Club.

“Mom, don’t
worry. I’m not messing either of them around. Ryan and I are just friends.
That’s all.” And when we go out it won’t be like going out in the strictest
sense, so it doesn’t count. “Call me when dinner’s ready, please. I’m going
upstairs to do my homework.”

***

“Suzy,” Lori
calls when I walk into the class. “Sit here.” She pats the chair beside her.
“I’ve got something for you,” she says, once I’m seated. “Here.” She hands me a
big ivory colored envelope, which feels very expensive—not that I’m an envelope
expert—with Suzy written on the front.

“Thanks.” I take
it from her. “What is it?”

“Open it and
find out.” She has this silly smirk on her face and is wriggling all excitedly
in her chair. If I didn’t know better I’d say it was an invitation to a bouncy
castle party, or something equally childlike.

I slide my
finger under the seal, open the envelope and pull out a big card. On the front,
in fancy gold lettering, it says Marlene and Bruce.

“Who are Marlene
and Bruce?”

“You’ll see.”

I open it up.
Wow. Suzy and Partner are invited to celebrate the silver wedding anniversary
of Marlene and Bruce Baker on—I turn to face Lori.

“This is your mom
and dad isn’t it?” Lori nods. “And they’ve invited me?” She nods again. Holy
crap. Why me? According to the invite it’s being held at the Ocean Breeze
Country Club on the bay.

“They said I
could invite a few of my closest friends. You will come won’t you? You can
bring Guy. His parents will be going too. They’re friends of my parents.”

“Um, yeah.
Thanks. Sure. What does it mean ‘black tie’? Surely I don’t have to wear a
tie.”

Lori throws back
her head and laughs. “You’re so funny. Men wear a tux. Women cocktail dresses.
We’ll have to go shopping. What about Saturday?”

Cocktail dress?
That will cost hundreds of dollars. I hope Mom and Dad are okay with it. Unless
they let me borrow something of Rosie’s. I bet she’s got a cocktail dress or
three stashed away. I’ll sneak a peak when I get home later.

“Great. And you
reckon Guy will come if I ask him?” Lori nods her head. “How come you didn’t
invite him anyway?”

“Mom said I
could only invite three friends and whoever they want to bring. So I chose
Rachel, Jana and you thinking you’d want to bring Guy. I wanted Jamie for my
partner but Mom said no. I think that’s really mean but she was adamant.”

Yay for Lori’s Mom.
The thought of an evening with Jamie. No thanks.

“So who are you
going to bring, then?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I know who you
want to bring,” I whisper in case anyone’s listening. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“No, don’t.” Color
floods her cheeks. I seriously think she’s only saying no because she doesn’t
want to be let down. But I don’t want to upset her if she really does mean it.
I’ll see what Maddie says.

“Well thanks so
much for inviting me.” I say brightly. “It’s going to be great.”

“That’s what
best friends are for.” Excuse me? Best friends? Since when? She can’t be my
best friend. I already have one. And we tell each other everything (almost). I
know Lori and I get on well but it’s not like we confide in each other—apart
from when we talked about doing it and other stuff, I suppose.