The Second Virginity of Suzy Green (10 page)

Wow. Where did
that come from? And fancy him calling me sweet. That’s got to be a first.

“Thanks. I like
you too.” Even if you do have lousy taste in movies and are a bit too
parent-friendly for your own good. Not that it matters. Don’t they always say
opposites attract?

“Excuse me,”
says a soft, and vaguely familiar, male voice to the side of us. We both turn
to look.

Oh.

My.

God.

It can’t be.

Quick, someone
wake me before this gets totally out of control.

“Yes?” says Guy.

“Aren’t you Suzy
Green?” the voice replies, ignoring Guy and looking directly at me with the
same twinkling brown eyes and cute smile that haunted my dreams for such a long
time.

Crap. Crap. And
a million times Crap.

Okay, here are
my choices:

I can
acknowledge Ryan—smile sweetly in a totally unfazed sort of way and say ‘hi how
are you?’ and act like he’s just a guy I happen to know from way back. Which
seems like a real cool response, but I’m not sure I can pull it off. I suspect
stammering and looking acutely embarrassed will let me down.

Or, I can
pretend I’ve never seen him before in my life and that it’s a case of mistaken
identity—except if I did that how would I explain him knowing my name? Good
point. Looks like that one’s out of the question.

Or—and this is
my preferred option at this precise moment—I can get the hell out of here, and
scream as loud as my lungs allow. Thing is by doing that not only will I look a
complete and utter freak it will also ruin any chances I have of Guy asking me
out again.

So, it appears I’m completely screwed.

“You know each
other?” Guy says dragging me back from the crazy thoughts charging around my
mind like things possessed.

“No.”

“Yes.”

We both speak at
the same time and sharply turn our heads from staring in Guy’s direction to
staring at each other. No prizes for guessing who said no. Well, it just sort
of slipped out. And my heart is pounding so loud I swear it’s going to burst
out of my shirt.

“What I mean is
we sort of do,” I say pulling myself together with the help of a deep breath
and clutching the table for support. “We met at summer camp in The Blue
Mountains just over a year ago, didn’t we?” That’s an understatement if ever
there was one.

“Yeah. At summer
camp,” Ryan drawls. “I almost didn’t recognize you, but the hair gave it away.”
It would be the hair. It’s always the freakin’ hair. A tiny smile tugs at his
lips. I am so in the shit.

“So, Ryan,” I
continue, forcing myself to look at him. “It’s good to see you again.” I smile,
but suspect it looks more like a grimace than anything else. “I didn’t know you
lived around here.” Thank goodness, or they’d have carted me off to the
institution a long time ago. “How have you been keeping?”

He stares at me
as if I’m totally crazy. Rightly so. I mean who in their right mind would say
‘how have you been keeping?’ to someone they once said they loved and also lost
their virginity to? Just thinking about it sends shivers up and down my spine.
And not shivers of pleasure. These are shivers of the scared-stiff variety. I
don’t think the situation could get any worse if it tried.

“Good thanks,”
Ryan replies. He certainly doesn’t seem as bothered about this catastrophic
situation as I am. Then again, why would he be? He probably couldn’t care less.
He might not even remember what we did at camp. I’m probably a nameless notch
on his bedpost. And I think I’ve been watching too many B movies. “You?”

My fists clench
involuntarily into a tight ball, nails digging into my palms so hard that pain
shoots up my arms. I seriously don’t know what to do. I spent goodness knows
how many nights wondering what would happen if I ever bumped into Ryan again;
playing over and over in my mind what I’d say. But never in all my dreams did I
envisage meeting him while out with someone else. Especially when that someone
else I’d planned on having some sort of future with.

I wish Maddie was here. She’d tell me what
to do. Not helpful.

Okay, I’ll wing
it. But I’m definitely phoning Maddie the moment I get home. In fact I might
even text her when we’re on the way so she can think about it in advance.

“I’m good too,
thanks. Do you work here?” I say, my eyes suddenly drawn to the two white
Starbucks mugs he’s holding in his hand and the dark green Starbucks polo-shirt
he’s wearing (which under other circumstances I’d have said looks really hot
against his tanned skin and dark hair).

“Started a few
weeks ago. After school and weekends.” He shrugs. “I better get back before I get
into trouble. Catch you later. I’m on my break in half an hour.” He smiles at
both of us and saunters back to the counter as though he doesn’t have a care in
the world. If someone told me I was operating in a parallel universe I would
totally believe them.

I pick up my
drink, give a couple of long sucks on the straw until it’s finished and place
the cup back on the table. So much for enjoying my frappuccino, it tastes more
like cold porridge.

“Shall we go
then?” I ask Guy who’s being a bit too quiet for comfort. He frowns.

“Don’t you want
to wait for Ryan? Talk about old times.” He folds his arms and leans back in
his chair.

You know what. I
think he’s jealous. Who’d have believed it? Well he has nothing to worry about.
Ryan and I are history. As in long gone. As in finito. As in—Oh no.. How could
I be such an idiot for not thinking this sooner? What if Ryan says something to
Guy about us doing it? Shit. I feel sick.

“No. Let’s just
go.” I grab my bag from under the chair and stand up. Stupidly I glance across
at the counter and see Ryan staring at me. My heart does a quadruple
somersault. I immediately avert my gaze and look straight ahead, not breaking
my stare until I’m outside on the sidewalk. I have no idea whether or not Guy
is behind me until I feel his hand tap me on the shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I
snap. “I just didn’t want to stay, that’s all. I have to get home because it’s
late.” I make a show of looking at my watch, and shaking my head. On my present
performance if I entered Nerd Olympics I could well be in the running for a
medal.

“Sure,” he says
shrugging. We walk in silence to the car. All I can think about is: what’s Guy
going to say if he finds out my whole life since moving here has been based on
one big fat lie?

***

“Oh Maddie, it
was awful. I’ve been in some sticky situations before but this has to be the
worst ever ever ever. My entire life flashed before my eyes. Worse than
drowning I reckon. I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole. It was so
embarrassing I didn’t know what to do. And he just stood there staring at me as
if—”

“Whoa, girl.
Breathe.”

Breathe? That’s
a laugh. It’s easy for her to say breathe when she’s not involved.

“I am, it’s just
that—”

“Suzy,” she
bellows in my ear before I have chance to finish. I hold the phone out in front
of me and stare at it. She’s still coming over loud and clear, despite the distance
between the phone and my ear. “Breathe. Do you hear me?” I nod my head. “I
said, do you hear me?”

“Yes. Yes. I
hear you. The whole world can hear you you’re shouting so much.” I sigh very
loudly to make my point. “I’m breathing. Okay? But that’s not going to help me
if Ryan decides to blurt out my secret to everyone is it?” I pace up and down
the room, running my fingers through my hair, until they get stuck in a knot
and I end up yanking out a handful and squealing in pain.

“And you think
he’s likely to tell?”

“How the hell do
I know? Why not? He’s got nothing to lose.”

“And nothing to
gain.”

“Apart from
getting me back for not contacting him. This is going to screw up my whole life
I just know it.” I tear up and roughly wipe them away with the back of my hand.
I’m not a cry baby so why they’ve decided to fall now I’ve no idea. Unless it’s
a premonition of the bad things to come.

“Suzy, you need
to think rationally. I remember him from camp. He’s a sweet guy. He won’t drop
you in it. And anyway, he doesn’t know all about your lies.”

“Lie,” I
correct. “Just the one. Even if it is like the hugest lie in the history of
time.” Okay, so I’m not normally prone to melodrama (well, in my eyes I’m not.
Maddie would probably disagree) but really this situation would lead even the
most reserved person ever to over-the-top behavior.

“Well it is
bigger than most, I have to agree with you there.”

“You don’t say.”

Maddie starts to
giggle. “Sorry. It’s not funny. It’s just that why do these things happen to
you all the time?”

She’s not wrong.
I think I have a sign above my head saying ‘all trouble walk this way’.

“Yeah, but
there’s trouble and there’s trouble. And if this lie gets out my life is
ruined.” A sob escapes my lips. I sit on the end of my bed and lean forward,
resting my arms on my knees.

“Oh, Suzy. Don’t
cry. It’ll be okay. We just have to work out a plan.” The concern in Maddie’s
voice gets me even more and I launch into a fully blown cry-attack.

“Sorry,” I say
between sniffs. “Come on. Wow me with your failsafe plan.”

“I didn’t say I
had a plan,” Maddie says.

“Yes you did. I
heard you. And now you’re telling me you don’t have one. So what is it? Do you
or don’t you have a plan?”

“I don’t.”

“So what the
hell am I to do then?” I ask through clenched teeth, anger and frustration
replacing my tears.

“First you go to
the side of your bed, pull out a tissue from the box on the bedside table, wipe
your eyes and calm down.” What did I say about Maddie and her special powers?
She’s never seen my bedroom yet she knows exactly how it’s laid out. She truly
has an awesome gift.

“Have you done
that?” She adds a few seconds later.

“Yes.” I screw
up the tissue and throw it in the direction of my rubbish bin. It goes in.
Yay. That is definitely a sign. “I wish you could be here to help me.
Especially as you know Ryan.”

“Well I can’t.”

“I’ll give you
my signed photo of Justin.” We both love Justin Bieber more than life itself
since seeing him in concert. She was soooo jealous when I got a photo of him at
a book promotion.

“You don’t mean
that.”

“I do. Honest.
You can have it if you fly over here.”

“Suzy even if I
had time, which I don’t, how would I pay for the flight? And my Mom wouldn’t
let me. You know that. Come on pull yourself together. You have to sort this
out yourself. I’ll guide you from afar.”

“I suppose you’re
right.” I feel really awful. I’ve blown everything.

“Okay. Get some
paper and pen from your desk.”

I drag my feet
over to my desk and do as she says. “Now what?”

“Sit down and
we’ll start to think of different things you can do to make sure Ryan doesn’t
say anything. We’ll write a list.”

Ah now I get it.
Maddie is big on lists. Which I find totally weird. Lists are a thing parents
do. But her room is covered with them. Sometimes you can’t see yourself in her
mirror there are so many post-its up there. I think she’s bordering on
obsessive compulsive. I saw a docu on it a while back and she certainly has a
lot of the tendencies. I haven’t the heart to say anything about it to her. And
she might grow out of it when she’s older. Anyway, as usual, I’m digressing and
that’s not helping.

“You start,” I
say, firmly. “My mind’s a total blank.”

“Kill him.”

“What?”

“Kill him. That
would stop him telling everyone.”

“Ha ha. That
would stop him doing anything ever again. Don’t you think it’s a bit drastic?”

“Yeah, well you know
what my mother says. Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

Just as I’m beginning
to think Maddie’s serious a loud belly laugh storms down the phone.

“If you tell me
you believed me,” Maddie continues, “I’ll kill you too.”

I burst out
laughing. “You’re so ridiculous. I’ll write it down anyway so at least we have
something on the list.”

“Ooooo. I’ve had
an idea.”

My heartbeat
quickens—Maddie’s excitement is so contagious.

“What? Go on,
tell me.”

“Tell everyone
he’s been spreading rumours about you and then if he tells them they won’t
believe him.” She pauses a moment. “You know if I say so myself that’s a great
idea.”

Well, Maddie
might think so but I don’t. Then again she doesn’t know Ryan like I do (or
did). You know, it seems just like yesterday when I saw him for the first time.
And call me dreamy, but I knew the moment our eyes met, over the pile of
rucksacks, that he was a special boy.