The Secrets We Keep (14 page)

Chapter 30

It's getting dark. So dark that you can't really see where the blackness of the house ends and the night begins.

‘Might be time to buy you some new Converse, kiddo,' says Dad, looking down at the things I'm pretending are still shoes.

‘Yeah. I got into District today. So I'll need them before next week.' But then I realise what I'm saying. ‘Can we afford them, Dad? I can wait if we can't.'

He smiles. Strange how clearly I can see his teeth in the dark. ‘I keep telling you – that's what a credit card's for! And I'm proud of you, Clem,' he says. ‘Can I come watch?'

‘Yeah. Course.'

We stand side by side listening to the sounds of our old suburb: the possums fighting in the trees, the bats flying overhead, Jack putting the bins out next door. But it doesn't feel like we belong anymore. Even though I'm not a fan of the flat, it's now our home. This place is just a burnt-out mess.

I realise I'm all fidgety and can't stand still. ‘What time did she say?'

‘Six
o'
clock. But you know your mum. Punctuality is not her strong suit.' Dad puts his arm around my shoulder. It's been a while since I've hugged him and I can smell the dirt from the gardens on his blue jacket. It's earthy and real, and that's what I want. The truth.

Mum's meeting us here, where our house used to be. She wants to see it; she wants to see me.

After yesterday with Maggie and today with Ellie something's changed for me. I'm not sure what, but I feel different.

‘Dad, is Mum going to be okay?'

‘Yeah. I reckon she is. She finally had a chance to talk with the police about what happened. And she's getting treatment so she's feeling better. I think she's almost like your old mum,' he says, pulling me even closer.

I try to take in what he's saying and my thoughts gallop forwards to what might be. But then I try to slow them down. Mum's always said we need to learn to walk before we can run.

‘I gave our lists to the insurance company today,' says Dad quietly. ‘Now that the police have ruled it as a possible accident, it's looking much more likely that …'

He leaves his sentence hanging, but I know what he's saying. He wants me to understand that Mum didn't burn our house down deliberately, and that she didn't lie to me. But what Dad doesn't realise is that I don't care about all that anymore. It's not about the insurance or the money or all my stuff. All I care about now is Mum.

‘Hey, Clem.'

I hear her voice come out of the darkness and my heart starts beating faster and my feet start their familiar itch. For a second my body is preparing to run but, this time, I turn towards her voice and start walking slowly to where she waits, arms out and ready.

‘Mum.'

Acknowledgements

I didn't set out to write this book. It sort of wrote itself. Born of a need to explore something sad and sensitive, it bubbled up and poured out. And it was written for my daughter Evie, as a project for us to work on together. Without her eagerness for the next chapter, it would have stalled long ago. So thank you Miss P – this is as much yours as it is mine.

It's no secret that I love secrets. And for helping me keep them and for seeing the potential in this book, I'd like to thank the original secret squirrel Kristina Schulz at UQP. Thanks also to the most incredible editor who gets it every time, Kristy Bushnell. You are a legend.

I love the cover for this book. It's exactly how I see Clem Timmins and her precarious world. So a huge thanks goes to the amazing Sandra Eterovic for the original illustrations and to designer Jo Hunt for bringing it all together. Thanks too, to proofreader Katie Evans, my agent Jo Butler and all at UQP.

I was pretty lucky to have a couple of excellent early readers. Thanks Teisha Tye and Nikki Blackman. You read this story at just the right moment for me to keep going.

And to Sally Rippin, thank you for your lovely words on the cover.

And finally, thanks to my beautiful family: Aidan, Arlo and Evie.

First published 2016 by University of Queensland Press

PO Box 6042, St Lucia, Queensland 4067 Australia

www.uqp.com.au

[email protected]

© Nova Weetman 2016

This book is copyright. Except for private study, research,

criticism or reviews, as permitted under the Copyright Act,

no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,

or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior

written permission. Enquiries should be made to the publisher.

Cover design by Jo Hunt

Cover illustration by Sandra Eterovic

Typeset in 13/16 pt Minion Pro by Post Pre-press Group, Brisbane

Printed in Australia by McPherson's Printing Group, Melbourne

Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

National Library of Australia

http://catalogue.nla.gov.au

Weetman, Nova, author.

The secrets we keep / Nova Weetman.

ISBN 978 0 7022 5421 5 (pbk)

ISBN 978 0 7022 5548 9 (pdf)

ISBN 978 0 7022 5549 6 (epub)

ISBN 978 0 7022 5550 2 (kindle)

For primary school age.

Children's secrets—Juvenile fiction.

Friendship—Juvenile fiction.

A823.4

University of Queensland Press uses papers that are natural, renewable and recyclable products made from wood grown in sustainable forests. The logging and manufacturing processes conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.