The Stranger's Woes (60 page)

“I will try,” said Kofa. “Whatever have I not handled in my life!”

“You, my lady, have already received the most precious gift,” the shaman said to Melamori. “The Dead God said you would be able to keep the souls of our clan. He is pleased that our hoob will sing his songs for you.”

“Will he really sing?” said Melamori. “So far, he’s only been sulking and missing his owner.”

“He will sing when I leave,” said Aloxto. “The hoob does everything in its proper time.”

“I know, you told me that. It’s just that I think he wants to go back to you.”

“The desires of only a few creatures under the sun who come into this World matter,” said Aloxto. “And Leleo is not one of them. Neither am I.”

The shaman now turned to Lookfi. I think there was even more respect in his voice now than when he spoke to Juffin. “You, who can speak with many buriwoks at the same time, will you agree to accept our gift?”

“Of course I will, gentlemen,” said Lookfi with a shy smile on his face. “It is so very kind of you.”

“When I set off on this journey, Toila Liomurik the Silver Bigwig, the Conqueror of Arvarox, took off his cape made from the thickest wool of the sheep from the King’s Flock and gave it to me,” said Aloxto. “He will be happy to know that his cape protects from the wind the one who protects the lives of more than two times fifty buriwoks. Please accept it, sir.”

Then the shaman turned to me. “The Dead God knows you well, sir,” he said. “He spoke to me at length about you, but I understood very little. The Dead God told me we have nothing that you could use. You have all you need. That is what the Dead God said.”

“You sure know how to pick friends.” Melifaro’s voice broke the ringing silence. “That Dead God is bending over backwards to leave you with no gifts. What pettiness. Calls himself a god.”

“It’s all right,” I said. “I’ll deal with him personally next time I meet him.” My colleagues smiled, but the two Arvaroxians looked at me with venerating horror.

“I truly wanted to leave some of my precious things with you, Sir Max,” said Aloxto. “But it is beyond my powers to resist the will of the Dead God.”

“You
have
left your most precious thing with me, Aloxto. I once had the pleasure of hearing one of your songs. It’s safe to say that it’s still ringing in my ears.”

Poor Aloxto accepted my caustic compliment. “I am happy to know that you will remember me.”

“You can rest assured that I will.” This time I was being absolutely honest: things like that are hard to forget.

After Aloxto and I exchanged compliments, Melifaro turned to the shaman. “Do you think your Dead God would mind if I made a present to Aloxto? Or should I not even bother?”

“You may do as you wish. You saved the life of our commander and the honor of the clan. Any deed of yours will be considered a blessing.”

“Great,” said Melifaro.

From the pocket of his looxi he produced the precious signet ring with the tiny figure of Rulen Bagdasys frozen in the middle of the transparent stone. Then it dawned on me: that trickster Melifaro had decided to join together the two culprits of his short but deep depression and see what would happen.

Juffin noticed that I was putting up a heroic fight with laughter and sent me a call.

What’s going on? Are you in on this?

Oh boy
,
let him tell you
.
This object poses no threat to Sir Aloxto’s life
,
though
,
believe me
.

I’d like to see anything that could possibly pose any threat to Sir Aloxto’s life
.

Juffin was tortured not by anxiety but by ordinary human curiosity.

There is something that can
.
A conflict between his wishes and necessity
,
for instance
.

That’s a good one
.
Okay
,
enjoy the show
.

And enjoy the show I did. Melifaro was exercising his fine oratory skills.

“This is a magical object, Aloxto. You can wear it on your finger, or you can keep it in your pocket—it doesn’t matter. But if one day you feel sad, throw this signet ring under your feet. The stone must hit the ground, the harder the better. You will see what happens then. I hope you will be greatly entertained.”

Melifaro’s tone was sad rather than mocking, although there was plenty of both emotions in his speech.

“Thank you. I think I will get to use your gift when the time comes.”

Aloxto took the signet, admired the tiny Rulen Bagdasys frozen in the middle of the stone, and then put it on his pinkie. It was ridiculous to experiment with any other digit on his huge hand.

“This is a good thing, commander,” said the shaman.

Juffin raised his eyebrows. He was sure that Melifaro would do something nasty to top it off.

“It is time, gentlemen,” said Aloxto, nodding courteously. “I must hurry. The sooner I leave your city, the sooner I can return.”

“I’ll see you off,” said Melamori.

“No. It is a bad sign if someone stays at the pier when the ship casts off.”

“I’m not going to walk to the pier with you. Just to the Wall of Joxira Menka, the border of the New City.”

“Thank you. It is very kind of you,” said Aloxto.

I believe it never occurred to him that you could walk someone only halfway. If Aloxto were in charge of awarding the Nobel Prize, Melamori would have received it for her brilliant idea.

When they left I made a sour face.

“I didn’t get a present,” I pouted like a spoiled child. “I’m hurt, hurt, hurt!”

“Yes, but you got a compliment that I, for one, never got myself,” said Juffin.

“What do you mean?”

“They said you have everything you need.”

“And?”

“The ancient Sacred Book of Arvarox, all copies of which they burned about a thousand dozen years ago after they had memorized it, says that ‘humans will remain humans as long they are lacking something,’” said Lonli-Lokli.

“In other words, they flippantly made you a god,” said Juffin.

“And now their shaman will visit me every night, stand by my windows, and ask my opinion on the most important national issues?” I said. “Well, well. How were you able to read that burned book, Shurf? Are you that old?”

“No, but I have a decent library. I have a few rare editions, including one of the three remaining copies of the Sacred Book of Arvarox. There is some dark story connected with those three surviving copies. One of them was given to our King Mynin—”

“For educational purposes,” said Melifaro.

“Something like that. Or some pirates stole them from Arvarox. In any case, there are only three copies remaining in the World, and I have one. A most interesting read.”

“May I borrow it?” I said.

“You may, except that you never come to visit me.”

“Oh, I will,” I said. “We gods are busy folk, naturally, but I’m sure I can spare a few minutes for you.”

Meanwhile, Melifaro was briefing Juffin on the unfortunate lot of Rulen Bagdasys.

“At first I was mad at both of them—the Isamonian and Aloxto. But then I accepted them, and even began to love them.”

“Love them?” I said.

“Yes, imagine that. Granted, it was a strange kind of love, but still . . . I almost canceled the show altogether. Then I realized that Rulen Bagdasys was quite capable of cheering up poor Aloxto. The warriors of Arvarox must appreciate rude jokes, and jokes don’t get any ruder than those of Mr. Rulen Bagdasys.”

Sir Juffin looked very happy. “Max,” he said, “since you’re a king and a god and all that, maybe you can let me have three days off work? Kimpa’s gone. The house is empty and quiet. I want to get some sleep and maybe read a good book. I haven’t had more than one day off in a row for more than three hundred years, I’ll have you know. I’d like to try—maybe it’s possible. I have no one else to ask for this.”

“Permission granted. I’m not a tyrant, after all. But why didn’t you ask the Arvaroxian shaman? He would have put in a good word for you with the Dead God himself. Who am I, after all?”

“That’s quite all right,” said Juffin. “You’ll do just fine. Don’t forget to pray to Sir Max every night, gentlemen. Order yourselves a good dinner at the
Glutton
. Do whatever you want, in other words. I’m going home. Boy, I wish you all had a blanket like mine!”

“Well, I’ll be,” said Sir Kofa, following Juffin with his eyes. “This Kettarian is going home to sleep before dusk
and
taking a few days off. I’ve known him much longer than you, lads, and I haven’t seen him do anything like this before.”

“In any case, Sir Juffin’s words are an order,” I said. “Say what you want, but a dinner from the
Glutton
will be on this table any minute now.”

“Very good, son,” said Kofa. “You must be a kind god. Would anyone mind if I called our colleagues from the City Police Department?”

“Along with Sir Boboota Box?” said Melifaro.

“Along with Lady Kekki Tuotli, my boy. And don’t you dare smirk.”

“Okay, I’ll be serious and . . . what else does one do under the circumstances? Oh, yes, I’ll be mournful,” said Melifaro. He made the most dismal face his facial muscles could manage. Still, it didn’t look very convincing.

The dinner was long, and we had a great deal of fun, except that Melamori never showed up. I realized that she wasn’t up to having fun with us right then, and my heart went out to her. Or, rather, my two hearts—all I had at my disposal.

Melamori finally did show up, at around midnight, when I was alone in the House by the Bridge. I still had my night shift, after all.

She hesitated in the doorway of my office. My second heart immediately cringed from her pain and fluttered with a tenderness that wasn’t mine, either. I tried my best to ignore the fits of my otherworldly love muscle.

“I think I did something stupid again, Max,” said Melamori.

“People always do stupid things, as our mighty buriwok would put it if he weren’t asleep,” I said. “What
did
you do?”

“I got scared and didn’t go to Arvarox with him, a hole in the heavens above it!”

“I would be scared, too,” I lied, just in case.