The Surrogate (17 page)

He shuddered as I bent and took the tip of his cock in my mouth, using my tongue over the crown. He still wasn’t all that hard, but that he was becoming the least bit erect, pleased me. I wanted to stimulate him, but I wanted it to be something he wanted, not that was forced from him the way Seve’s climax was forced from him. I needed to take this very carefully.

Like the rest of him, his cock tasted good, so warm, so alive. I teased it a little, using my mouth on the head, then licking the length as he began to harden more, cupping his balls gently, and scritching my fingers in the tight curls. Not all of it was intended to arouse. I just wanted him to feel pleasure from his genitals, to show him that they were a source of pleasure to himself and to a lover and that he could be touched with kindness again. He spread his thighs and I smoothed my hands down the soft skin of their inner surface. How could Minas want to beat such fine skin? I couldn’t keep my hands off it, it was so wonderful to touch and to stroke.

I took his erection into my mouth again, my hand at the base to stimulate him. It was important that he could climax—if I fiddled with him for too long, he might lose his erection. I didn’t want to penetrate him—he’d been forced too often, too recently—but there was almost certainly one thing no one had done for him in a very long time. I sucked my finger and got it good and wet, then gently stroked it over his hole as I kept tonguing and working his cock. I needed to find out how he would react to this touch before I went any further.

He froze—but then his legs untensed and spread a little. I let out a breath of relief. Good, he knew the difference. I worked my finger in a little. “Does it hurt, Jai? Do you like it?”

“
Yes, I like it. Please, Seve.” His eyes were still closed, but his stomach muscles were tight, I hoped with arousal and not fear.

I pushed in a little more, just as I took his cock down a little deeper. I hadn’t his talent, but I knew what felt good. I hoped he was enjoying it. I moved my finger in and out slowly, taking it very gently, no memories of harm to be awoken if I could help it. He started to push every so slightly against my finger, as if he wanted more, so I went deeper, looking for that place I knew Bekin and Minas would never have bothered to find.

“
Ah!” His cry was shockingly loud as his cock jumped on my tongue. He shuddered all over, his breath coming in fast. I kept very still, kept my finger off the spot that I had found, but as soon as he had calmed a little, I began to suck him again, increasing the stimulation. His body was trembling all over now, his free hand clenching in the sheets, the one hold mine bruising me with the force of his grip. I touched that spot again, this time with a little more pressure and he exploded, coming in my mouth, crying Seve’s name, his body writhing as he felt his first climax in four years. I stroked him inside again even though he had come, and his cock pulsed one final time as he jerked.

He fell very still then. I cleaned his cock, and kissed it as I released it, withdrawing my finger slowly. There were still fine tremors making his stomach shiver. I moved up the bed and took him into my arms, firmly ignoring my erection. I wouldn’t die from lack of release. “So beautiful, Jai,” I murmured. “So perfect, my love.”

He was gasping as he had done when Minas had beaten him, and tears were leaking out behind his closed eyelids. I kissed them away and held him without speaking. This had to be a big thing for him. I had to give him time to adjust.

The gasps were turning to sobs and he curled against me, clutching at me. “Shhh, Jai, it’s all right. You’re perfect, there’s nothing wrong.”

“
I came....”

“
Yes, you did.”

“
Seve.... I miss you.”

“
I know, Jai. I love you,” I said with all the feeling in my heart, knowing he would think it a lie, and not caring. But I also said it for Seve, because I was absolutely certain that he still loved Jaime, and would bless what I had done this night in his name. If he didn’t, then I would kill him myself for being so selfish.

He trembled a little longer, just overwhelmed by it all, but then he quietened, seeking my lips and kissing me, showing me he wasn’t so lost in his emotions. I held him until he fell asleep, and then I confess, I cried a little myself for self-pity, for sadness that he wasn’t mine and wasn’t reacting to my touch as me. But most of all, I felt fiercely proud at having defeated Minas—we had done it together, Jaime and me. Minas wanted to break him, he had failed. He wanted to degrade him by forcing partners on him unworthy of his spirit and we had turned that into a triumph of that same brave spirit.

Minas didn’t stand a chance against us.

~~~~~~~~

He was watching me when I woke, heavy-headed and a little depressed. He’d moved away in the night and was lying at the edge of the bed. My heart sank—he was angry. “Jaime...I’m sorry, I was just trying to help.”

But he reached for my hand. “You think I’m angry with you? Nikolas, that was the most generous thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He kissed my hand and laid it briefly against his cheek. “Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I felt...I knew it wasn’t him, but somehow, I still felt his love. I don’t feel alone anymore.”

I smiled at him in relief. “Then I’m glad. He loves you, I know he truly does, and when you’re together again, you’ll heal each other. You’re strong, Jaime. He must be too. Minas will never defeat you.”

“
No, he won’t,” he said with a determined set to his jaw. “I’m going to speak to Joa today. We both should. I’ve been thinking—if we can get him to hire two men of our build and colouring, we can use that as a blind.”

“
That’s a good idea—do you think he’ll agree?”

“
I’ll make it worth his while. The temple can’t kill everyone—he’s well known and liked. It would cause a huge fuss, and that’s the one thing they don’t want. I want this over with, Nikolas. Either success or failure, but I want it done. If we fail, you have to escape. I’ll...make sure Seve and I escape, even only into death.” At my protest, he held up a hand. “Better by choice than waiting for Minas to torment us into it. But I don’t intend to fail.”

“
Neither do I. If...it comes to that, Jaime, then...I’ll understand and pray for your souls. Our gods are kinder—they will give you a better life in the next one.”

That got me a sad smile. “Then thank you. I think I’d like to see if we can make a better one in this.” He kissed my hand again. “They’ve already lost, you know.”

“
Yes, they have. Minas thought he’d crushed you. He just made you stronger. He’s a bloody perverted old fool.”

We were taking a risk involving Joa, but I’d judged it right—he was sympathetic, not horrified, although we had to keep some details from him for his own protection. He said he would look for two men that very day. Jaime was offering him as many books as he could smuggle out in compensation, but Joa refused. “No, lad. Pay me the men’s wages, and give me a couple of the books you least love. A man shouldn’t lose everything because he’s fallen on hard times, not his books at least. Books feed the soul—money only feeds the body and that’s not so important.”

I could have hugged the man. Suddenly, it really looked like we were going to do it and soon. It took me another week to get a source of the herb I’d been enquiring after, and a little bribery to get the sweetmeats made to order. The beauty of this herb was that it only worked in large quantities. I could share the treats around the kitchen, taste them myself, and no one would come to harm. But Juin was a glutton, fortunately for us. He wasn’t able to stop eating sweetmeats until he’d finished everything in sight, and I would make sure he got a
very
big bag this time.

My greatest fear, apart from somehow being discovered in our plotting, was that Seve would fail again and bring a beating down on Jaime’s head. He was more sanguine about the prospect, but now my feelings were so involved, I was afraid I would not be able to stay silent if he were abused like that again. It was a fear I couldn’t share with him, but every time we had to perform, I could barely concentrate for waiting for Minas’ probing of the girl to discover the ‘withheld blessing’.

Fortunately, it hadn’t happened again and we were doing the work less often, only every four or five days. Soon we would be able to stop forever. Like Jaime, I just wanted it over with.

At last, we thought we were ready. I had succeeded in slipping into the side corridor from the temple, to observe Juin’s routine. He left his post only to collect the food trays, although he usually dallied for a few minutes before to talk to Mia, and in the evening when he was relieved by another guard. He took food for himself at noon, but presumably ate his breakfast and supper when he was off shift. Seve’s food was passed into a hatch, and the tray only removed at the time of the next meal. Juin did not speak to the occupant of the rooms, nor enter them. I just hope the damn doors weren’t bolted on the inside but that was unlikely.

I collected my last month’s wages—between us we had manage to put together five hundred silver coins, a fortune for one man, and a tidy sum split between three. I’d had a series of arguments with Jaime over this. He couldn’t see why he and Seve should have any of my money. I couldn’t see why I should profit from their misery. I won simply because he had little choice. He hadn’t saved enough cash, although the books we’d smuggled out to Joa would, if sold, provide a nest egg. But that was a last resort because Jaime had now decided to accept my suggestion of going with me to my father’s house in Hamer, at least in the beginning. Joa seemed trustworthy, but when we were hundreds of miles away, we had no way of forcing him to send funds.

We’d decided to do a day immediately after we were required to perform, which would mean we would leave two days before the high winter festival. Egin should be full of people among whom we could hide, and the priests would begin a long series of rituals that would take most of their attention. That last day we were both nervous. We had planned as much as we could, tried to think of everything. A passage for three men had been booked on a boat to Jendon, leaving before midnight. Once we were on that boat, we would be safe. I made Jaime swear that he and Seve would be on it no matter what happened to me, and he exacted a similar promise from me. Joa was ready, had supplies waiting for us, and his two men would also be there and had been well-paid to help what they had been told was two lovers fleeing a repressive father.

That night, being fucked by Jaime in front of Seve, I could barely keep still. If Seve failed tonight, or Minas took what ever perverted idea came into his head to torment Jaime, we would have to start all over again. Jaime seemed almost cold, emotionless, which I think had an effect on his lover who was much more muted than usual. I could have cried when Minas nodded to Senku to indicate the god had given his blessing. I couldn’t get out of the chamber fast enough, afraid I was going to betray our plans by word or reaction. I was shaking, I was so relieved it had gone without a hitch, and this time it was Jaime who sat me down and held my hand. “Nikolas, it’s over. We don’t have to do this again.”

“
Unless something happens,” I said bitterly.

“
Yes, of course. But I have faith in you. I know we won’t fail because of you.” He touched my face. “You’re trembling.”

“
I’m scared. Aren’t you?”

“
No.” He looked puzzled. “I...guess I believe our fate is already determined, the way it brought you to me, the means of escaping this situation. I believe...perhaps your gods, angry at ours, brought you to us.”

I laughed, but rather harshly. “I don’t think that’s how it works, Jaime.”

“
Perhaps not.”

He leaned forward and kissed me, to my great surprise. “Why did you do that?”

“
Because...the last thing I expected was to find a friend in all this. You’re the kindest person, Nikolas.”

“
I’m nothing like as good as you, Jaime. I could never have stood this for six months, let alone four years.”

“
You don’t know until you have to,” he said sadly. “But no one else would have helped us this way, nor...tried to heal me as you did. Seve and I owe you so much.”

I smiled, though it hurt. “You owe me nothing, because screwing over Minas has become a reward in itself. Hopefully this will be the end of it too, if Joa keeps his words and passes your letter to the palace.”

“
It will depend on whether the king feels he wants to take the priesthood on. For all we know, he’s taking a cut of the profits.”

Cynical, but understandable that he would suspect this. “We should go to bed, be well rested.”

He still held my hand, but he looked down as he spoke. “You never come.”

“
No, because I’m not turned on by rape.” His head jerked and he stared at me. “Not you of me, of you by them, being forced to do that. I told you, if you were doing this by choice, it would make all the difference. It’s not any lack in your skill, or of your attractiveness,” I reassured him. “But if you think I can enjoy this situation, then....”