The Three Sisters (23 page)

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Authors: Bryan Taylor

Tags: #Humour

BOOK: The Three Sisters
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“So girls, how you doing?” asked Victor after recovering from the traditional passionate kisses from each of the three. Though definitely a prison cell, thanks to Victor’s influence, the room was hardly barren. The table in their room was covered with papers, books, a typewriter, and other items. Next to it on a small stand was a TV which had headphones dangling below. The three’s army beds were all in a corner, lined up against one another to give them the maximum amount of room possible in the rest of the cell. The walls had numerous pictures and one movie poster. The only other pieces of furniture were the guards guarding who stood close by the bars, as lifeless as the three’s photographs, and silently reminded the three that they were
not free.

“How do you think we’re doing? Being stuck in prison for a month, and on a military base at that, isn’t my idea of a good time, Victor. Can’t you at least get us some time on furlough?”
asked Coito.

“And look at these guards,” added Regina. “No matter what I say or do, they don’t respond at all. What’s wrong with them? I look outside our window every day to see if I can locate the pods that were left behind when the aliens replaced them.” Regina stuck her tongue out at the guards guarding. “The military life sure has taken the pizzazz out
of them.”

“Complaining as usual. Just think how much fun you’ll have when you get out of here. How much more you’ll appreciate life, being free. How much more willing you’ll be to do what I tell you. Can’t say life has been boring. After all, gave you something to pass your time with, TV, books, projects, and everything else. Lots
to do.”

“You brought us everything but what we’d like to pass our time with. Couldn’t you sneak a couple men in next time?”
asked Regina.

“If you don’t soon, I think I’ll get the DTs,”
complained K.

“Girls, girls, be patient. Your faults you’re in here,
you know.”

“I was wondering how long it’d take you to remind us this visit,”
said Theodora.

“Come on, Thea, you’re taking life too seriously. Take it all in stride,” he advised while copping a feel
of K.

“Watch it, Victor,” said
Coito sternly.

“Victor, it’s been over a month since we were arrested. The guards guarding won’t even talk to us. We’re stuck here with nowhere to go. What are you paying those lawyers for anyway? To hire more young secretaries to knock up at night? And what happened to all those connections you’re supposed to have? No bail, no trial, nothing,”
complained Theodora.

“Girls, sure pushy today. Gotta give me time. Doing all I can. Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that. You three don’t realize how much fun this is for me. The arrest, the publicity, making the connections, talking to people, being where the action is, trying to get your case going on the right track. That’s what life’s all about,” declared Victor, pacing the floor next to the bars. “So it takes a bit longer. You want a trial? You can have it tomorrow, but prison’ll be certain. Trying to do something original. Certainly you can appreciate that, K. Want out of a trial? Confess. Disobey me again. See what happens. Disobeyed me twice already, third time’ll be a charm and all that. Promise though. No ordinary crime, no ordinary trial.” Victor suddenly swept around and shot an imaginary gun at one of the guards. “Need something with lots of publicity if we’re to keep the Kennedy Center booming. Didn’t tell you about this before, but I’ve been thinking about expanding into Europe. Good market. Still remember Kennedy. How about if we build the first in Berlin? Lots of nice blond Aryan women there. Germans’ll go wild. Lot more liberal about sex, too. Consequences of your trial have to be international in aspect if we’re to expand.
Absolute necessity.”

“So is a trial,”
said Theodora.

“Well, as it is, knowing American justice system, you three probably wouldn’t be put on trial for few months or years anyway. So I figured, why not take my time? Do a job well done? Got to realize girls, this maneuvering does take lot
of doing.”

“So what’s the hold up?” asked K, now sitting on one of
the cots.

“You wouldn’t believe Washington nowadays. Well, probably would. Terribly disorganized. Have to talk to two dozen different people to get one thing done. God, I can remember when you only had to talk to a dozen. Progress I guess. Carter’s fault really. All these young congressmen too. Everybody sticks their nose in everything. Media doesn’t help. I could tell Carter would screw things up from
the start.”

“Mess up our trial?” asked
Theodora incredulously.

“No, his presidency. Problem is, Carter tries do everything himself. Reads everything. Takes in all points of view. Good intentions, but it doesn’t work. Just like most politicians, know how to run for office, haven’t slightest idea how to run the country. Don’t need genius for President nowadays, never did. Need someone who can delegate power, delegate jobs. Need managers like me up there to run things. Good manager too impatient to waste time with ideas. Problem is, lawyers usually end up being politicians. OK before the industrial age. Aristocrats just fought each other. Now lawyers in politics an anachronism. Need managers instead. Gotta match the person to
the job.”

“Thanks for the lesson in politics, Victor, but what about our trial?”
demanded Coito.

“Trial? Oh yes, sorry about that, just that everyone having a say, everyone trying to get in on the action. Just wanted to show you why it’s not easy pulling these things off. Even Job would grow impatient in Washington. Even God. Anyway, been seeing everyone. Making new connections too.” Victor spun around and shot at Theodora with his hands. He continued to pace the cells as he spoke, sometimes talking directly to the three, other times talking to the guards, but
always talking.

“Any success yet?” asked Theodora, standing by one of
the windows.

“Think so. May have found goose laid the golden egg. Don’t know if you three know it, but two members of the Supreme Court frequent the Kennedy Center. Sometimes ask for our delivery service too. Great guys. Really intelligent. Anyway, was talking to them last week. Invited them up to my office. Told them my idea. Never thought Spiro Agnew would inspire anyone. You’d be jealous, K. Not even you’d’ve thought of this. Wonder if anyone would’ve. Way I figure, though, it’s got a
78
percent chance
of working.”

“What are you going to have them do? Extradite us to the Vatican?”
asked K.

“’Course not. Better yet, if they can talk the other men on the bench into it. Glad there’s no women. And considering the fringe benefits I offered them at the Kennedy Center, I wouldn’t be surprised if the others didn’t take me up on the idea. Of course, had to offer the Justices life passes with no strings attached. Don’t worry though. They’re old. Won’t get to use passes for long. Economically safe idea. With all the extra business from the publicity, we can afford it. Everything’s a risk, an investment. This one’ll pay
off though.”

“WHAT ABOUT THE IDEA, VICTOR?” demanded an
impatient Theodora.

“Why, to try you three,
of course.”

“The Supreme Court? Try us? But they can’t do that, can they? It’s not within their constitutional powers. Is it? Can’t they just review cases that are appealed from lower courts or solve arguments between state governments?”
asked Theodora.

“Well, court’s not supposed to try individuals. Technically you’re right, but rules made to be broken and all that. Some change of venue, eh? Actually, saving taxpayers money. Just speeding up judicial process a little, least that’s what I told them. Let’s say you three are put on trial and found guilty. Unusual case, something goes wrong sooner or later. Naturally,
we appeal.”

“The American way of life,”
interjected Coito.

“Goes to Appellate Court. They back up lower court’s decision, but we find something funny there. We go to Supreme Court. Go all the way. So see, either way, nine old men are going to hear from you three young women sooner or later. So why not sooner? I asked. Besides, when Nixon was President, they moved things through quickly for him. So why not for
you three?”

“Victor, can’t they be impeached if they go beyond their constitutional powers?”
asked Theodora.

“Wondered about that, too. Asked them even. Don’t worry though, be realistic. Congress isn’t going to impeach, much less convict, all nine Justices of the Supreme Court. Gotta be kidding. Take a year or two to do that, even if they could. Be bad enough getting rid of them. Then you’d have to appoint nine new Justices. Political fights from that’d go on for years. Spend first half of the eighties trying to install nine Justices. Washington couldn’t stay that interested in something for a few days, much less a
few years.

“Besides, talked to the two Justices. Actually felt sorry for them. Year after year, work on technical, tedious cases. God-awfully boring. Only talk to other lawyers all day long, or their assistants who do research for them. They haven’t dealt with real people in years, just lawyers. Truth is they’re bored to tears. Give their right arm for change
of pace.”

“I know how they feel,”
complained Theodora.

“When I told them what nymphomaniacs you three were, showed them pictures of you three, which they took home with them I might add, evidence I guess, they leaped at the opportunity. ‘Breath of fresh air,’ one said.” Victor swung around and shot at the table with his right hand formed in the shape of a gun, accidentally pointing at a picture of
Sister Carla.

“Victor!”
screamed Regina.

“Sorry
about that.”

“Do it again, and I’ll flatten you,”
she warned.

“So when’s the trial?”
interrupted Theodora.

“If everything goes as planned, it shouldn’t be too long off. Just around the corner in fact, probably October
1
, first Monday in October and
all that.”

“October!” screamed Theodora. “Christ on crutches, Victor, you mean we’ve got to stay on this fascist military camp for another three-and-a-half months? Just let me go back home,” she pleaded, “put on my headphones, and listen to the Brandenburgs or something like that. Then I’ll be happy. They can lock me in my room, but I don’t want to stay here for another four or five months. Please Victor, get me out somehow. Can’t they at least lower our bond to a
realistic level?”

“Sure they can. Won’t though. Justices’ll have enough problems when they announce they’re going to try you three. Have to stick it out, girls. Don’t worry though. I’ll keep you three busy. After all, what’s a few months? Never know the difference twenty years
from now.”

“That’s easy for you to say when you’ll be out there,” complained K. Then she became calmer. “It’s not so much being stuck on a military base, as just being stuck. I can’t stay in one place for long,” explained Coito. “It’s against my nature. Theodora’s right. You’ve got to get
us out.”

“Should’ve stayed at Joan’s, so don’t blame me. Besides, K, three months, a year, give a little and everything will come to you. Still act like a kid, K, want everything now. Look at this as money in the bank, an investment. After all, you’re only in your twenties. Got a long life ahead of you. Triall’ll open up opportunities for you three you never dreamed of. Regina, bet you buttons to dollars you get some
movie contracts.”

“Really, Victor? About time if I say
so myself.”

“Guarantee you, sure thing. Problem with movies, art, getting the door open. It’ll be open after the trial. Besides, I’ll think of something for you three to do between now and trial. Really do appreciate you three’s orgy up there. Hated the idea at first, especially when I knew you three’d get caught. If I’d had a gun, would’ve shot you three then and there. But now, in retrospect, if you three hadn’t done it yourselves, would’ve made you. Kennedy Center OK, kept me busy. Finally had my own business, but a man needs a challenge if he’s to enjoy life. Believe me, trying to save your skins challenge of a lifetime. But I love it. Must confess, haven’t had this much fun since I worked for that department store back in Chicago. Me and a couple others ran two of our competitors out of business. Bankrupted them. God, that was fun. Don’t know what life can be like ’till you’ve really
accomplished something.”

“So what are we supposed to do
until October?”

“Not much choice actually, but I’ll get you girls something to do. What are you complaining about anyway? You’ve got all your projects to work on. Brought that dictionary for you, Thea. What’s it made of, lead? Got to have a damn magnifying glass to read it. All those magazines for Regina. Don’t see how you three can
be bored.”

“It’s a matter of variety, Victor,” instructed Theodora. “We’ve got plenty of things to occupy our time with, but even all this gets old after a while. God, we’ll be basket cases
by October.”

“You’d better do something to keep our lives varied if you want us to keep up with all these projects of yours,”
warned K.

“Do my best. By the way, did I tell you about John Hotchkiss? Think he finally figured out he was giving us info on Detective Hole and the case. Doesn’t come as often. Never mentions the
case anymore.”

“Did Detective Hole
find out?”

“Don’t know. Guy probably would’ve lost his job if he had, so don’t think so. We’re keeping mum though,
don’t worry.”

“You know, Victor, it wouldn’t be so bad if you’d just let us see a few more people, preferably in private. Seeing the same old group of people all the time would
bore anyone.”

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