The Three Sisters (51 page)

“You’ll have hours of fun with your Spanish Inquisition toy set,” promised the announcer. “And mothers, this is an educational toy as well. With the booklet of questions and answers for heretics which we include, your children will learn about Christianity while they’re having fun torturing their victims. So go out and buy your set, or accessories, and start torturing those
heretics today.

“The Spanish Inquisition toy set, another fine product from Virnovak Enterprises. Iron Maiden, Cardinal, Revolving Wheel and Torturer sold separately. Batteries for revolving wheel not included.”

“Well, that’s the last marching band to leave the Capitol. It’ll take that band another hour or so to complete the journey down to Potomac Park, but they’ll soon be followed by the three sisters who will begin walking their last mile
very soon.”

“Incidentally, the three sisters will be assisted by Father Novak, Detective Hole, and Bishop Golias who will make last minute efforts to convert the three before
they die.”

“Well, I wish those three every bit of success in converting the three sisters. God knows they
need it.”

“And here’s the Supreme Court Justices! Listen to
that applause!”

“As you know, each of the Justices will whip one of the three sisters thirteen times. That way, Coito, Theodora, and Regina will each have received thirty-nine lashes by the time the Justices
are through.”

“Here come the three sisters now! We should have a close up, ah, there we are. The three look sort of tired, but I’m sure they’ll be wide awake in a few minutes after those whips are applied. The crowds are really beginning to
scream now.”

“As you can see, the Justices and the three are standing in front of the Capitol building facing the mall, where I believe they will be whipped. We’re waiting now as the back of their San Benitos are undone. The San Benitos being made of heavy material, they would partially protect the three from the whips if they were
left on.”

“Just in case the front of the three’s San Benitos should give way during the whipping, I’m afraid we’ll only be able to give the TV audience back and long shots during this part of the Festivities.”

“No nudity here, this is a
family crucifixion.”

“You know, David, I’d sure hate to be topless out there today. It’s actually quite cold, although it could be worse. They’re lucky the winds
aren’t strong”

“I’ll say. There go the back of their San Benitos! Wow, look at those cameras going. I’ve never seen so many pictures taken in
my life.”

“Listen to
that crowd.”

“You know, I haven’t seen a wilder crowd at a Superbowl. I can’t even hear the whips being cracked for
the yelling.”

“It’s a wonder the police can hold the
crowd back.”

“After the Justices are finished in a few minutes, the three’s San Benitos will be put back on, and they will then officially walk their last mile down Pennsylvania Avenue following the official parade route to Potomac Park where they will
be crucified.”

“Of course, after that, the three will be burned at the stake in front of the Washington Monument as fireworks explode in
the sky.”

“It ought to be a
beautiful sight.”

“Wait, there are some young people dressed like cheerleaders running up the Capitol steps. Let’s see what they’re going
to do.”

“It almost looked like the three enjoyed
their scourging.”

“I guess knowing what they will soon face, that wasn’t any punishment
at all.”

“It looks like the cheerleaders are in
formation now.”

“And so
they are.”

“Give me
a C.”

“C.”

“Give me
an R.”

“R.”

“Give me
a U.”

“U.”

“Give me
a C.”

“C.”

“Give me
an I.”

“I.”

“Give me
an F.”

“F.”

“Give me
a Y.”

“Y.”

“What’s
that spell?”

“CRUCIFY!”

What’s
that spell?”

“CRUCIFY!”

“What’s
that spell?”

“CRUCIFY!”

“Yeah,
yeah, yeah.”

“That was a
cute idea.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind seeing those cheerleaders again. Maybe they’ll show up down at
the crucifixion.”

“I’m sure they’ll be back soon, but the only way you’ll get a chance to see them again is by watching the Festivities all day today, so don’t
go away.”

“While the cheerleaders did their part for the Festivities, the three were led down to Pennsylvania Avenue where they’ll be taking up their crosses shortly so they can begin their last mile. Incidentally, the crosses which they will be carrying today are made out of a special lightweight wood, not necessarily to lessen the suffering of the three sisters, but to ensure that none of them falls
behind schedule.”

“Punctuality is important, even at a crucifixion.”

“Well, there they go. At last, they’re beginning to march down Pennsylvania Avenue, and in a little over an hour, they’ll be arriving at Potomac Park where the crucifixion will officially begin. We pause now for a word from one of our sponsors, but we’ll be back to follow the three sisters’ trip to Potomac Park and review the prize-winning bands and floats which have appeared today. So be sure and stay with us.”

A man is sitting on a rock in the middle of the Sinai Desert. A boom shot slowly moves in on a strong,
rugged man.

“Three thousand years ago the Jewish people fled from Egypt where they had been slaves. In the desert, they had no food, nothing to nourish them until God sent them sustenance from Heaven. For forty years they lived on manna and quail alone and yet, were healthy enough to conquer Canaan after forty years
of traveling.

“Now you and your family can enjoy body-building Manna Bread brought to you every day fresh from our ovens. Careful research has shown us how to produce the finest and most nutritious bread available to keep you and your children healthy and strong. And mothers, don’t worry, kids love Manna Bread. So next time you’re at the store, do yourself and your kids a favor and buy them some manna from Heaven. Remember, Manna Bread, it keeps you and your family going for forty minutes…or
forty years.”

Pull away into a boom shot of the desert with winds beginning to blow up
a storm.

“I’d like to welcome everyone back to the Festivities. Virginia and I are sitting in this booth overlooking the Potomac. It’s a beautiful sight on this clear, crisp December morning, and now that its banks are filled with thousands of people, there’s a real feeling of excitement down here which I hope our viewers can feel. The last band is just now arriving and the three sisters should be
here shortly.”

“A couple minutes after they get here, the three will unload their crosses and rest. After receiving a cup of water, they will be laid upon their crosses, bound to them, and lifted up into the air to stay for the next
five hours.”

“And there are the three
sisters now!”

“Boy, they look pretty bushed after
that walk.”

“In case you’re wondering, the three people accompanying the three sisters along their march have been making a last minute effort to convert them and save their mortal souls. Father Novak, Detective Hole, and Bishop Golias have been talking to them since they left the Capitol, but if my reports and my intuition are right, I don’t believe they have met with
any success.”

“Tom, I have something which I think the viewers would like to see. We’ve just been handed a copy of today’s
Washington Star
and as you can see, the headline reads “THREE SISTERS CRUCIFIED.” There’s an artist’s rendition of what the crucifixion will look like on the front
page there.”

“You know Virginia, there was a lot of speculation about which newspaper would be the first to proclaim the three crucified, and I guess the
Washington
Star
won.”

“And we’ll be seeing the crucifixion ourselves in just a few minutes. Right now the three are putting their crosses down and are resting. While they’re doing this, I’ll go over the Festivities’ schedule for the rest of the day for our viewers. After the three sisters have put their crosses on the ground, they will be stripped of their San Benitos, though their undergarments will be left on so our younger viewers won’t be offended. They will receive a drink of water, and then will be nailed to their crosses where they will remain until three P.M. While hanging on their crosses, citizens will again be allowed to come up and openly revile
the three.”

“We have lots of fun and interesting things planned during the crucifixion and
auto-da-fé
. We will replay some of the best moments from the three’s confessions as well as highlights from
their trial.”

“In addition to that we will have interviews with Victor Virga, Father Novak, Detective Schmuck
Hole— ”

“I wonder if he’ll tell any of
his riddles.”

“—I hope not, but you’ll only find out if you stay tuned. President Carter and Pope John Paul II have also prepared special messages for our viewers. Most importantly, we have put together numerous interviews with people whose lives have changed over the last few months as a result of the Confessions, the Festivities and all the related events. I personally interviewed some of these people, and I think you’ll be touched by what
they say.”

“You won’t want to miss a minute of all the exciting programming we’ve lined up for our viewers during the rest of the day, and I want to remind our viewers that sometime during the crucifixion, the three sisters will reveal the seven blasphemous
last sayings.”