The Vacant Chair (12 page)

Justin angled his head and took her mouth in a velvet caress of lips and tongue. His clean scent wrapped around her, citrus and soap, and he tasted of the lemon tarts she’d seen in the kitchens earlier. Her body tightened, pulsed, and her thoughts scattered. Even wounded he was much stronger than her, yet so gentle as he held her head still. He slid his tongue over her lower lip, turning her liquid with the hunger she sensed raging beneath his controlled exterior.

It only intensified the ache inside her.

Raw need ignited in her blood. Her breasts tingled as a wave of heat engulfed her, making her breathless. This kiss wasn’t enough. She wanted his hands on her, all over her bare skin. Wanted to hold him inside her body as deeply as she could. She craved the release her body clamored for. Brianna shifted to her knees and twisted closer to him. A frustrated whimper slipped out of her and she arched her back to press her breasts against him to find some relief.

Justin held her firmly in place, teasing her with his tongue. Impatient, Brianna touched her tongue to his. He tangled both hands in her hair and groaned as he fused their mouths together.

More.
She buried her hands in his hair and kissed him with all the longing burning in her heart. He stroked his tongue against hers and trailed a hand down the side of her neck to her shoulder, then lower to graze the side of her breast. She pushed into his palm with a ragged moan as her nipples hardened, aching for his touch. Still kissing her senseless, he obliged her and rubbed his thumb over one distended peak through the bodice of her dress. The sudden jolt of sensation set off a desperate throb between her legs, made worse by the hard length of the erection she could feel pressed against her belly. She pressed her hips against him and arched into his hand, begging for more, crying out into his mouth when he gently tweaked her nipple.

“Sweetheart,” he rasped against her lips and repeated the caress, making the pleasure burn hotter. God, she wanted him, his weight on top of her and his naked skin against hers. She wanted to feel him inside her body, filling and stretching her while the waves of pleasure took her higher.

Before she could get enough of him, Justin broke away and stared back at her with smoldering blue eyes. “Brianna…” His voice was strangled. He dragged a hand through his hair, scrubbed it over his face. When he met her gaze, the naked hunger in his expression made her breath catch. “If we had more privacy, I’d—” He stopped whatever he was about to say and shook his head. The muscles in his jaw bunched, and as quickly as it had appeared, the flame in his eyes was extinguished behind an unreadable mask. “I’d better get you back to your tent before someone else comes looking for you.”

Disappointment filled her. Her body ached and throbbed with unfulfilled need and there was no relief in sight, but she knew he was right to stop. “I… All right.”

For a long moment Justin didn’t move, searching her eyes. Then, as though he couldn’t help himself, he leaned down and pressed a slow, lingering kiss to her lips. When he eased back he pulled in a breath and covered a wince, one hand pressed to his wound.

“Careful,” she warned, coming to her knees on the grass to lay a protective hand over his bandaged side. She hated that she might have hurt him.

Justin caught her wrist and pressed her palm against his prickly cheek. Banked heat glowed in his stare, and this time as he leaned in and kissed her his embrace was fierce, possessive. The slow glide of his tongue against hers made her whimper. He tore his mouth away and sucked in a breath. “God help me, Brianna, stop tempting me.”

“Am I tempting you?” she whispered, glad he was as frustrated as her.

“Enough to make me lose my head.” He hugged her to his chest with one arm, his low chuckle muffled against her neck. His lips trailed soft kisses there, the stroke of his tongue causing her to shiver and close her eyes. “The instant the war is over, I’m coming to find you,” he vowed, pulling back to stare down at her. “I swear I’ll find you.” Rising stiffly to his feet, he offered his hand and helped her up.

Joy bubbled inside her, a bit alarming, since the happiness she’d known with Caleb had been bittersweet and fleeting. Just for a moment, Brianna allowed herself to hope for a future with Justin.

He escorted her back to her tent in the moonlight with his arm tucked through hers. She was hyperaware of him, every sense heightened by the feel of the muscles shifting beneath her hand and the clean, musky smell rising from him.

He stopped in the shadows to kiss her once more, held her tight to him and let her feel the length of his erection pressed against her belly. If he was leaving tomorrow, she wanted to be able to sear his scent and taste into her memory. Kissing him slow and deep, she made a soft sound into his mouth and twined her hands in his thick hair. With a raw groan, Justin swept his hands to her hips and pulled her flush to his body, rubbing his hardness against her. But all too soon he stepped back, breathing hard.

His eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. If they’d been somewhere with enough privacy, Brianna knew without a doubt that he would have stripped her naked and given her everything she was begging for, his healing wounds be damned.

And she would have loved every moment of it.

Instead, Justin pressed his forehead to hers a moment, then cupped her cheek and brushed a thumb over her kiss-swollen lips. “Will you see me off in the morning?”

Unable to speak past the sudden lump in her throat, she forced a smile and nodded.

He seemed to relax at that. “Sleep well, angel.”

With how tightly wound her body was, she wasn’t going to sleep at all, but she had to let him go. “Goodnight.” With a final longing glance at his tall frame as he strode away, she closed the tent flap and crawled into her cot beside Ella-May’s. Turning her face toward the canvas roof, she stared into the darkness and let the bittersweet tears trickle into her pillow.

Chapter Twelve

The sky above the distant ridge of trees was touched with rays of coral and tangerine the next morning, heralding the arrival of dawn. Wrapping her shawl tighter around her to ward off the early morning chill, Brianna scanned the landing for him. Beyond the growing crowd at the dock, the river flowed past on its journey to the sea, its surface cloaked in a silvery mist.

She’d hardly slept last night, trying to process everything that had happened. Had she really agreed to wait for Justin? It was madness, practically guaranteed another broken heart.

Caleb had known her for years before courting her, and their relationship had been based on long-lasting friendship. She and Justin had known each other less than two weeks. If he was serious about coming for her when the war ended, what did they have to build on besides admiration and explosive physical attraction?

People get married every day based on less.

Hugging herself to chase away the chill in the air, Brianna hurried along the bank toward the dock with her heart full of dread. After today, she might never see him again. The thought made her hands shake.

At last she neared the wharf. Soldiers scurried about their morning routines, wagons creaked as they passed. The hospital was a flurry of activity as it readied patients for transport to Washington aboard steamships sailing down the Pamunkey River to the James. Justin and his brother would be among its passengers, making their way back to Michigan via Washington. She took solace in knowing they’d be traveling together.

The landing came into view at last, shrouded in mist. Men loaded coal onto the ship’s deck to be stored below. Others ported luggage and stretchers. She’d dreaded this moment. Another painful goodbye.

When the wounded began boarding and she still couldn’t find Justin, her heart lurched. It was too
soon
. They wouldn’t have much time to say goodbye. She drew a shaky breath and scanned the length of the dock for him. He wasn’t there. 

Had he already boarded? She searched the crowds of men. Her stomach drew tighter. Had she missed him? Would he have left without saying goodbye?

When she turned back toward the hospital, a man appeared out of the mist. He stood in profile to her, outlined in the morning light as he made his way toward the landing, pausing to glance around. Looking for someone.

“Justin!” She flew across the dewy ground toward him.

He whirled around, a smile of relief crossing his face. He waited for her, watched her run across the damp grass in a flurry of skirts. She reached him at last, breathless in her haste, and wrapped her arms around his neck, careful of his healing wound. He gathered her tight to him anyway.

“Hi, angel.”

She held on as tight as she could. “Hi.”

After a minute, he raised his head to gaze into her eyes. “Thought maybe you’d changed your mind.”

“Never.”

He looked down at her for a long moment, as though he didn’t know what to say. Finally, he reached into his pocket. “I have something for you.” He handed her a package wrapped in cloth.

She unwrapped the gift, gasping when the fabric fell away to reveal a solid gold pocket watch. She tilted her head questioningly, knowing it must be precious to him.

“It was my father’s. I wish I had something else to give you instead.”

“It’s beautiful. But I really can’t—”

His hand closed around hers, pressing the watch into her palm. Infusing it with his warmth. “Take it. It’ll make me feel better knowing you have it.” His voice was low, shaded with regret. “Now at least you’ll carry a piece of me with you wherever you go, and maybe you’ll feel less alone.” His fingers caressed the back of her hand. “Every time you look at it, you’ll know I’m with you.”  

The words touched her much more than the gesture. She blinked back a sheen of tears. “Thank you.”

The tenderness in his answering smile turned her heart over. In that moment, any doubts about her promise to him vanished. She would wait, and he would find her once the war ended. That was all she needed to know for now. All she would let herself believe.

Justin’s thumb stole out to brush across the side of her jaw, and she slid her hands up to rest against the solid wall of his chest, his heart thudding strong beneath her palms. She couldn’t tear her gaze from his.

Someone cleared his throat. She jumped back to find Mitch grinning at them and smiled, trying to hide a guilty blush. “Good morning.”    

“I wanted to say goodbye myself, and thank you for the excellent care you’ve given my brother.” He shot a knowing glance at Justin. “He’s come along famously, hasn’t he?”

“Thankfully, yes. I hope you heal just as quickly.”

“I will.” He took her right hand with his good one and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Then he turned to his brother, eyes twinkling. “I’ll meet you on board, provided you don’t get too distracted and miss the boat.” He jerked his head over his shoulder. “It’s that big white floating thing at the end of the dock.” 

“You’ll have to excuse him,” Justin apologized as Mitch strolled away. “He lives to annoy me.”

“I think he’s sweet.”
And full of the devil.
How could they be having this inane conversation when he was about to board that ship and sail away?

Justin made a rough sound and shook his head. “I
hate
having to leave you here to face everything alone.”

The churning in her stomach worsened. “I’ll be fine. Let’s both just hope the war ends soon.”
 

“It’d better.”

Glancing around, he tugged on her arm and led her behind one of the warehouses where the shadows gave them some privacy, then took her face in his hands and kissed her. One last kiss, she told herself, bracing for the moment when she had to let him go. There was a chance they might never see each other again, and she wanted a final memory of him to carry with her during this endless war.

She melted against him and closed her eyes, lost in the feel of him, warm and strong. He took her mouth hard this time, sending a bolt of heat into her belly and between her legs. More. She wanted more. Parting her lips, she stroked her tongue over his and pressed her breasts flush to his chest to stem the ache there. He explored her mouth with a raw groan that left her throbbing.

With one last fierce kiss to her lips, Justin buried his face in her hair with a low growl. “I don’t want to leave you.” 

“Just stay safe and come back to me.” She fought back the stinging rush of tears, blinking hard. “Please be careful,” she blurted into his shirt, still clinging, not caring who saw them or what conclusions they would draw. She would be gone soon enough, oblivious to the gossip mill. The thought of something happening to Justin made her feel sick.

“I will be.” He set her away from him to cup the back of her neck with one hand, his expression full of torment. “Promise me you’ll look after yourself. No more making yourself sick by working too hard.”

The ship’s whistle blasted. Her heart squeezed in misery.

As the sound faded away, Justin’s eyes brimmed with regret. “I have to go, angel.”

With their last seconds together slipping away from them, Brianna hugged him tight, memorizing everything about the way he felt, the way he smelled. The strength of him wrapped around her. A sob worked its way up her throat. His arms tightened protectively. 

“Don’t cry,” he whispered fervently against her temple. “I’d rather be shot again than make you cry.”

“I’m not crying,” she choked.

He kissed her temple, her eyelid to catch a teardrop before it could fall, and pulled away.
Don’t go!
her heart cried in agony.
Don’t leave me.

“I’ll write as often as I can, but there might be stretches when you won’t hear from me.” His smile was impossibly tender, so sad she thought her heart might break. “I’m coming back to you. Just swear you won’t give up on me, Bree.”

“I won’t.” Not while she was still breathing.

He pressed one last lingering kiss to her lips, then let his eyes sweep over her face. “Bye, Brianna. Never doubt or forget my feelings for you.”

How could she ever forget? She smiled, though it felt like her face would shatter like glass.

Tell him you’re falling in love with him too.

The words stuck in her throat.

Tell him.

God help her, she couldn’t get the words out. They were too terrifying. “Bye.” Holding her arms around her middle, she watched him walk away and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from calling him back. He glanced back at her from the dock and raised an arm to wave once.

She lifted a hand in reply, fighting back the hideous pain ripping through her chest. Why hadn’t she told him?

You might never see him again.

Her heart pounded, urgency clawing at her.

You have to tell him.

She stood on tiptoe to catch sight of him. Too late. He was already boarding the ship.

Tell him.

Her breathing was shaky, her whole body trembling at the pressure in her ribcage.

Justin was halfway up the gangway.

Tell him!

She took a stumbling step forward.
“Justin!”

He whipped around at her cry and, when he saw her running toward him, pushed his way back through the throng as she raced over.

Tears clogging her throat, Brianna caught him around the waist and buried her face in his wide chest.

His hard arms closed around her in a protective embrace, one hand cradling the back of her head to press her cheek against his solid chest. “What? What’s wrong?”

She lifted her head.
I can’t let you go.
With a hard swallow, she gazed deep into his eyes. “I’m falling in love with you, too.” The moment she said it, the painful pressure in her chest eased.

His eyes darkened, and a slow smile spread across his face. “I knew it.”

Rather than laugh, she kissed him, dizzy with relief, not caring if she was making a spectacle. The ship blew its whistle again, sharp and grating on her nerves.

“Damn,” he muttered against her lips. “I really have to go.”

“I know. I
know.
” It was so hard to step back.

He bent to kiss her one last time, gave her a heart-stopping smile that warmed her insides. “I’m glad you told me.”

“Me too. Now go.” She stepped back and tucked her arms around her waist, tried to stay strong so he wouldn’t see how devastated she was. Her teary gaze followed him back up the gangplank. Blowing out a deep breath, she lifted her hand in farewell, and at last he disappeared from view.

Alone on the dock, Brianna wiped her wet cheeks and tipped her head to gaze up at the vivid blue sky overhead, praying for strength. She’d never expected to find love again.
Did you do this, Caleb?

Maybe she had a guardian angel watching over her after all.

Knowing better than to prolong the inevitable, Justin didn’t dare look back at the shore until he was at the upper deck railing with Mitch. Brianna still stood where he’d left her, putting on a brave face when he knew she was hurting as much as he was. Maybe more. At least he had family to go home to, had Mitch with him now. She was going home to an empty house and her late husband’s grave. It damn near killed him to know she had to face all that she’d lost alone.

He drank in the blaze of her mahogany hair as it moved in the breeze, her proud, graceful figure lit by the early morning sun, and knew that if he were close enough he’d find tears in her eyes. She was so compassionate and brave and beautiful it made him ache.

The ship’s whistle let out a final blast. His heart seemed to stop beating.

I’m falling in love with you, too.

God, he’d live on those words the rest of his life.

As they pulled away from the dock, Mitch stood beside him, watching Brianna. She waved, and Justin nearly reeled from the pain in his chest, as bad as the bullet that had almost killed him. Wearing a brave smile, she blew him a kiss. He leaned over the rail to catch it with a fist, placing it first over his lips and then over his heart. Her laughing reply seemed to light up the entire horizon. He stared after her until she faded into a speck in the distance and then rested his chin against his forearms with a groan.

A hand landed on his shoulder, and he glanced up into Mitch’s face. He’d forgotten his brother was still standing there.

“You all right?”

Did he
look
all right? “Fine.”

“Don’t worry, old boy. You’ll be with her again one day.” Mitch’s lips curved in a devilish smile. “You’re lucky I’m letting you have her, though. You wouldn’t have had a prayer if I’d decided to use my considerable charm on her. She likes me better.” When Justin arched a brow, he added, “I didn’t see her blowing you a kiss just now, did I, Romeo?”

Brat. He appreciated his brother’s efforts in lifting his spirits, though. Since he was in no shape to give Mitch the beating he was begging for, he chuckled, drawing a startled look from his brother. “Guess I haven’t told you, but I asked her to wait for me.”