The Way to Her Heart (12 page)

It was the last date—period—if Josh had any say in the matter.

“You said you two were fighting a lot right before she disappeared. What were you fighting about?”

He blew out a breath and took a bite of ice cream before answering her. “A lot of stuff. She was crazy jealous if I so much as talked to another girl. And I wanted her to stop spending so much time with those two bitchy girlfriends of hers.”

“Why? You’re talking about Natalia and Sofia, right? What did you have against them?”

“They just didn’t treat her right, you know what I’m sayin’? They were so controlling.”

Josh watched as she toyed with her ice cream, not eating it. She bit her lip, and it looked like she was trying to figure out what else to ask.

“Was she fighting with them too?”

He shrugged and nodded. “She was fighting with pretty much everybody in her life, even her dad. She wasn’t happy, Bernie. That’s why she ran away.”

“She didn’t run away, Diego.”

“What? What are you talking about? What do you think happened to her?” Diego pushed his ice cream away and sat up, leaning toward Bernie. Josh watched carefully, ready to step in if necessary.

“I don’t know. I just know she didn’t run away.”

“You think something bad happened to her? Wait, do you think
I
did something to her?” He pushed away from the table and stood up. “Shit! That’s what you think, isn’t it? You never wanted to go out with me! You just wanted to find out what I know about Gabby! Well, screw you, Bernie! I didn’t do nothing to that crazy bitch!” He threw down his napkin and stormed out, leaving the rest of the patrons in the shop to stare awkwardly at Bernie.

“Nothing to see, people!” Josh stood in front of Bernie to give her a moment to collect herself away from prying eyes. “Let’s get out of here.” He held out his hand and pulled her to her feet. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Embarrassed, but fine. I’ve never made a scene before.” She looked around at the other patrons, who were avoiding her gaze, yet whispering noticeably.

“Who cares what they think? You’ll never see them again.” He held the door for her. “Besides, you were magnificent.”

***

“
I
need your help with something.”

Josh wiped his floury hands on a kitchen towel and turned to Bernie. “Sure. You need me to finish the dough?”

She laughed and pulled the mixing bowl closer. “No. Empanadas are one thing I can make without your expert advice. I used to make these with my
abuela
all the time. I need your mad computer skills.”

“Okay.” He returned his attention to the pie crust he was rolling out. “What do you need?”

“Can you help me cyber-stalk Gabby’s friends? I want to find out what Natalia and Sofia talk about on social media, but I have no idea how to go about it.”

“I can help. Has Diego bothered you at school or anything?”

“No. He’s ignoring me, which is for the best. I feel kinda bad about how I treated him.” She finished rolling the dough into small balls, then flattened them and placed them in the refrigerator to chill. She stirred the apple filling and spooned a small taste into her mouth. “Can you check their Facebook, Twitter, and whatever else they might be into?”

“Sure. We need to look at Instagram and Pinterest. Girls are usually into Pinterest. They probably have Snapchat and other apps that are harder to track too.”

“God, I had no idea! Who has time for all that stuff? Whatever happened to just passing notes?”

“Welcome to the twenty-first century, Bernie.” He concentrated for a moment on crimping his piecrust into a perfect fluted pattern. “Anyway, we can probably find some way to check out what they’ve been posting.”

“Good. I’m going to try to make nice with them at school and see if I can find out what they know.”

“Bernie, I know you feel like you need to investigate this, but I’m sure the police talked to them.” He poured the pumpkin filling into the pie shells and carefully lifted them into the oven. He turned to find her stirring the apple mixture for her empanadas; he could tell by the stiffness of her back she was pissed. He sighed and stepped forward to massage her shoulders. “I’m just worried about you. I hate the thought of you getting mixed up in whatever happened to Gabby.”

“I have to keep trying,” she whispered.

“I know. I’ll help, I promise. But I’ll worry.”

She flashed a grateful smile over her shoulder, and he reached to brush a bit of flour from her eyebrow. His thumb, entirely of its own accord, caressed her soft cheek. Her startled eyes met his and then drifted to his mouth. They paused for an infinite moment before he lowered his head, intent on tasting her full lips.

“Hey, kids. I’m home.” Claire’s arms were full of grocery bags as she entered the kitchen.

Josh stepped away from Bernie quickly and turned to take the bags from his mother.
Holy crap, I almost kissed Bernie. Am I glad or upset my mom interrupted us?
“Is there more in the car?”

“Yes, thanks, sweetie. It smells great in here! What are you making, Bernie?”

Josh retreated to the garage while she told his mom all about the pastries she had insisted on preparing. Was it his imagination or was she babbling? Perhaps she was as flustered as he was. He took his time retrieving the rest of the groceries from his mom’s trunk, needing a few moments to process what had just happened in the kitchen. On the surface it was no surprise, of course. She was a beautiful girl and he was a normal, red-blooded American guy. But there were all kinds of reasons kissing her was a terrible idea. He groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face, then gathered the remaining grocery bags from the trunk of his mom’s car.

He put away the groceries and then left his mom and Bernie in the kitchen while he retreated to take a shower. The knock on his door fifteen minutes later shouldn’t have surprised him.

“Josh, sweetie, are you decent?”

“Most of the time. Maybe more like fifty-fifty. But I’m mostly dressed, so come in.”

“You’re so funny.” Claire rolled her eyes as she closed his bedroom door. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, Mom. What’s up?” He was 99.99 percent certain he didn’t want to hear it, but he pulled on a t-shirt and leaned against his dresser.

Instead of answering, Claire walked across the room and picked up a photo from the desk. “I think this is my absolute favorite of you and Caleb.” The little boys in the picture were hoisting a large bass each and grinning for the camera. “I remember Caleb caught the smaller fish, and when he cried, you gave him your bigger one. You’re an amazing big brother, Josh.”

He thought about the way she used the present tense.
Did I cease to be a brother when Caleb died?
He was still pondering when she continued.

“I need to talk to you about Bernie.” She let the statement simmer for a moment.

“Okay.” He drew the syllables out. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Nothing.” She was quick to correct. “Absolutely nothing! She’s a wonderful girl. I’m so glad she found us, and I love having her here. But—”

“What? Spit it out, Mom!”

“You like her. I’d have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to see there’s something between you two.”

“And you don’t approve? You don’t think she’s good enough—”

“No. That’s not it.” She crossed to where he was standing and grasped one of his arms and put her other hand on his face. “It’s not about approving or thinking she’s not good enough. Nobody will ever be quite good enough for my son, but Bernie is pretty special.”

“Then what—?”

“What I object to is the timing.” She actually raised her voice, something she hardly ever had to do. Then she continued, more subdued. “Josh, she lives in our house. She is under your protection right now, and that means she is strictly hands-off. Any romantic involvement could be seen as you taking advantage of her.”

“I would never—”

“Sweetheart, I know! Of course you wouldn’t, but are you perfectly sure Bernie wouldn’t see it that way?”

He reached his hands up and ran them through his wet hair as he groaned in frustration. “Yeah, okay. I get it. I haven’t done anything, just so you know.”

“If I’m out of line, I apologize. It’s just when I came in—”

“Shit. Sorry. You’re not completely out of line. I almost kissed her. I would have if you hadn’t walked in. She’s just so…”

“What?” Claire was smiling, so he knew he wasn’t really in trouble.

“Beautiful. Smart. Adorable. Kind. God, I’m pathetic.”

“No, you’re not. You’re a highly intelligent young man and you have excellent taste. But you can only be friends for now. Until she’s not living here, any romance is strictly off-limits. I mean it, Josh.”

“Okay. My mind agrees completely.”

“But your heart? It is your heart we’re talking about, isn’t it?” The horrified look on her face was so comical he had to laugh.

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. “Yes, my heart. Let’s not talk about the other. I’m still traumatized from our last sex talk.”

“Yeah, me too. All right, I’m done lecturing. Let’s get ready for Thanksgiving.”

Chapter Eight

“
Aren’t
you afraid of La Llorona?” Bernie asked. Gabby wanted to sneak out and walk around the trailer park, but it was after midnight and Bernie was scared.

“Who?”

“La Llorona! The Weeping Woman!”

“Never heard of her. You’re making it up!”

“Am not! My abuela
told me!” Bernie was near tears but hoped Gabby hadn’t noticed.

“Tell me,” Gabby ordered and flopped on her bed.

Bernie cuddled deeper in the fluffy blanket she’d had since she was three and began her story. “Maria was young and beautiful, and all the men in town wanted to marry her. She chose the richest and most handsome of them all, and they soon had two little children. But the man grew tired of her and started spending his time with other women, only coming home to see the children. This made Maria hate her children, so she drowned them in the river.”

“What a bitch!”

“Gabby! That’s a bad word. Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?”

Gabby rolled her eyes but nodded for Bernie to finish.

“Maria felt really bad about killing her kids, so she wandered up and down the river, looking for them and calling to them. She forgot to eat and she died. But people still hear her crying for her children and sometimes even see her. You have to be careful not to go out after dark or La Llorona will catch you and drown you in the river.”

“Well, we don’t live anywhere near the river, so we’re safe.”

“She doesn’t need a river! She’ll use ditches, creeks, acequias, whatever! I don’t want to go out there.”

“Don’t be such a baby, Bernie! Come on! It’ll be fun!”

Bernie

“And don’t eat too much at this first stop.” Josh lobbed the advice over his shoulder at Bernie, who was in the backseat of Claire’s Lexus. Josh drove at his mother’s insistence while Bernie stared at the interior of the car in amazement, touching the butter-soft leather seats and praying she had wiped her feet adequately before she got in. “Gran isn’t near the cook my grammy is. We’ll go to their house a little later, so save room.”

“Joshua Dane!”

“Sorry, Mom, but it’s true and you know it.” He caught Bernie’s gaze in the rearview mirror and winked. She felt herself flushing as she thought about the near-kiss earlier in the kitchen. He
had
been about to kiss her, hadn’t he? She wasn’t very experienced, but she also wasn’t completely clueless. She’d been horribly disappointed when Claire interrupted them but in retrospect realized it was probably for the best. She had no business kissing someone like Josh Harris; there was no way he could ever be seriously interested in her.

“Well, yes, but don’t let my mother even suspect we don’t love her cooking. All Josh’s talent came from his father’s side of the family. And be sure to take a very small helping of the stuffing. It’s really terrible. Save most of your appetite for Thanksgiving number two.”

“Do you always do this double holiday thing?”

“Yes.” Claire heaved a sigh. “When both sets of grandparents live in town, how can you choose? They both want equal time with the boys.” She sniffed and turned toward the side window as she must have realized what she’d said—
boys.
There was only one boy now. Bernie shook her head and wondered how a mother ever got over losing her child. Her heart melted as Josh removed his hand from the steering wheel and put it over Claire’s. “Anyway, holidays are complicated and long.”

“That’s okay. I’ve got no place else to be.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry! I didn’t think—”

“It’s okay. I just meant I’ve never had a very big family. We used to spend Thanksgiving with my grandmother, but she died five years ago.”

“Well, you’ll have your fill of my family by the end of the day.” Josh smiled at her again in the rearview mirror.

Bernie was unprepared for the vast number of relatives she met that afternoon. Claire was one of three siblings, and they were all at her parents’ house, along with their spouses and children. Bernie counted twenty-three people as she followed Josh to the buffet line.

“Go for the dark meat,” Josh whispered in her ear, causing gooseflesh to rise on her arms. “Gran’s turkey is always dry, so it’s your best bet.”

She helped herself to a small amount and reached for the spoon in the next dish, bypassing it when Josh shook his head slightly. She held back a smile and moved past the stuffing and on to the sweet potatoes.

Josh was the oldest grandchild by several years, hardly surprising since Claire was the oldest of the three children and she’d had Josh when she was sixteen. Josh and Bernie had both been granted seats at the adult table; the children’s table was a boisterous mix of children from toddler through early teen. Josh’s youngest cousin was in a high chair pulled up to the adult table, and the grown-ups all took turns holding the baby when she grew tired of her high chair. Claire seemed to hold her especially close, and Bernie realized she was actually quite a young woman; she wondered about the possibility of her remarrying and having more kids. Wouldn’t that be a trip for Josh?

The second dinner was a slightly more sedate affair. Josh’s father had been one of two children and younger by quite a few years. There were no small children and Josh was the youngest grandchild. Bernie was saddened to realize Caleb was actually the youngest and these people had lost their son as well; it must be excruciatingly painful to try to celebrate a holiday when loved ones were gone. Josh had told her they hadn’t even pretended to celebrate either Thanksgiving or Christmas last year right after his dad and brother had died.

“Bernie, have some more stuffing.” Grammy Norma—she’d insisted Bernie call her that—spooned more on her plate. Bernie didn’t mind, although she was getting close to her limit and there was still dessert in her future. The food at this more formal dinner was excellent, as Josh had promised, and Bernie felt drawn to his grandparents, especially his grandfather, who had Josh’s eyes.

“Josh, have you heard from the culinary institute yet?”

Bernie looked curiously at Josh; she had no idea what his grandfather referred to.

“Not yet, Pops. I just applied. It’ll be January at the earliest before I hear anything.”

“What’s this, Josh?” his cousin, Jennifer, asked. “I thought you were going to the university here.”

“Oh, I am. Pops is talking about a week-long institute over spring break I applied for. It’s in San Francisco and focused on technique. I hope I get in.”

Bernie was incredibly relieved to hear he was planning to attend college here in Albuquerque. She knew she had no earthly reason to be glad, but her heart simply wouldn’t listen. She looked into her mashed potatoes and faced the hard truth about her feelings for this amazing boy who had rescued her. She had fallen—hard—for him.

***

“
I
have a favor to ask.” She hated to ask, hated to disturb him, but she needed his help.

Josh sat up from where he’d been lounging on the couch. It was the day after Thanksgiving, and his mom was out scouring the town for Black Friday deals. “Sure. What do you need?”

“I need to go by and visit my mom again. I’ve driven by the trailer a few times in the last couple weeks, but I haven’t stopped because her boyfriend’s been there—”

“I’ll drive. You ready?” He grabbed a ball cap and his keys and ushered her out the front door.

She waited until he set the alarm and locked the door. “Thanks, Josh,” she whispered. “I just don’t want to go alone.”

“Of course. What are friends for?” He flashed her those devastating dimples.

Was it her imagination, or did he ever so slightly emphasize the word
friends
? Her spirits sank as she realized he was distancing himself after their near-kiss in the kitchen before Thanksgiving. Of course he regretted it and must want to make sure she didn’t think he was pining for her or anything. Well, she got it. It hurt, of course, but she really didn’t expect anything else. “Do you mind stopping at Walmart?”

She filled her basket with a few basics, wishing she could choose healthier items than the white bread and processed cheese slices, but her mother wouldn’t eat it; she would be throwing her money away. At the register she gave Josh a stern look and he backed away, his hands held in front of him; she wouldn’t put up with him paying again. He did insist on carrying the grocery bags to the truck, however, and she decided not to assert her independence over it.

The boyfriend’s car wasn’t in the driveway when they arrived, and Bernie was optimistic about the visit. She used her key to enter and was dismayed to find him sitting on the couch, drinking a beer, wearing a stained wife-beater tank top, which exposed a multitude of tattoos, including a truly disgusting one on his neck.
Seriously, Mom? Are you kidding me? This guy?

“Who the hell are you? Oh, it’s the kid. Haven’t seen you in a long time. What the fuck did you do to your hair? You look like a goddamn boy!”

Nice. She held the door open for Josh and let him take the groceries to the minuscule kitchen. “Where’s my mom?”

“She went to the store to get more beer. What’re you doing here? You coming back?” He followed this with a belch.

“Not in this lifetime. Josh, just stick the bag in the fridge.” He complied and returned to her side. “Let’s go.”

He opened the truck door for her. “Shoot. I forgot my sunglasses. Be right back.” He loped back to the trailer. He returned a moment later, whistling as he got in the driver’s side. She didn’t see any sunglasses. She raised her eyebrows at him, questioning. “Guess I didn’t bring them.” He shrugged as he started the truck.

She knew he’d somehow told the man off. “Do you mind if we stop by Gabby’s?” He drove up the street to her friend’s trailer, but Mr. Rodriguez wasn’t home. He turned the truck around and prepared to head out of the trailer park. “Wait! I just thought of something.” She directed him to park by the leasing office, and he held the door for her as they entered.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“Security video,” she whispered as she passed. “Hey, Rose, what’s up?” She greeted the middle-aged woman behind the desk.

“Bernie! Oh my goodness! It’s been ages since I’ve seen you! How are you?” The woman came around the desk and hugged Bernie.

“I’m good. How’s everything here?”

“Oh, fine, I suppose. Where have you been?”

“I moved out, Rose. The new boyfriend and I don’t get along. This is my friend, Josh.” She gestured to him, and he stepped forward to shake the woman’s hand. “Listen, I was wondering about the security cameras. Do they work?”

“Of course.” She sounded slightly offended.

“Great. How long do you keep the tapes?”

Rose sighed and returned to her seat. “Tapes? What century do you think we’re in? Everything’s digital now, sweetie. You want to see the file from the night Gabby disappeared, huh?”

Bernie nodded eagerly and sat across from Rose. “You still have it?”

“Of course. I sent a copy to the police, you know, so it’s not like you’re going to discover anything new. They asked for it first thing, and it really doesn’t show much. But I guess it won’t do any harm to show it to you.” She clicked at the computer keys for a few moments and then swiveled the screen so Bernie and Josh could see.

The video was grainy, but they could see a car screech to a halt just outside the entrance, throwing up gravel. The passenger door was flung open, and a girl got out.

“That’s Gabby!” Bernie exclaimed. Neither of the other two said anything, but Josh put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

Gabby turned to yell something—unheard because the video had no sound—and the car peeled away. They watched her begin to walk along the road leading to her trailer, but she stopped and looked at her phone, then turned and walked back down the road toward the entrance. She leaned against the sign and waited for about five minutes. The timestamp in the bottom right corner read 1:23 a.m. A car pulled up and stopped, but it was out of range of the camera. Gabby pushed off from the sign and jogged to the car, where she opened the back passenger door and got in. The car backed up and pulled a U-turn, always out of range of the security camera. One twenty-seven a.m.

“That’s it, I’m afraid.” Rose stopped the video and turned her computer screen back around.

“Thanks, Rose.”

“I know you’re worried sick about her. Her dad is too. I’m praying she’ll come home soon.”

“Me too, Rose.” Bernie stood to leave.

“Are you safe, Bernie?”

“Yeah, Rose. I’m fine.”

The leasing manager came around the desk to hug Bernie again. “You let me know if you need anything.” She turned to Josh. “And you take care of her, young man.”

“I will. Are you ready to go, Bernie?”

He drove in silence, seeming to understand her need for introspection.