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Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore

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BOOK: The Way We Roll
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“What are y'all talking about?”
“The way he broke up with Sharon for, like, the fourth time in front of all them people? He tried to be nice to her, but she just wouldn't let up, being all clingy on him, grabbing on his shirt, trying to kiss him.”
“She was doing all that?” I asked.
“Yeah, while you were talking to Hayden, she was showingthat maybe she was loony enough to mess up your ride. She whispered some other stuff to him we couldn't hear. It appeared she was trying to tell him anything she could to hold on to him. But the fine brother wasn't buying it. He was completely into you,” Torian said, turning in the front seat to give me the scoop.
“What did you do to hook him like that, girl?” Loni teased.
“I don't know. I just wasn't letting him play me. Trust me, though, if I knew he was going to be this much trouble—peoplebreaking my car window and stuff—I never would have gotten back with his behind.”
The two of them looked at each other and laughed. I was serious, though. Why women couldn't just walk away gracefully when a man was through with them was beyond anything I could conceive.
“Yeah, you would have gotten with him,” Loni said.
“Yeah, you would have,” Torian agreed.
“Okay, maybe I would have.” I laughed as I thought about Kade.
We stopped at a nearby Waffle House—the only place open at three in the morning—and got a bite to eat. Torian and Loni thought my headache would go away if I put a little something in my stomach.
Once we were settled in our booth, Torian asked, “So, Malloy, you were saying Loni and I would do anything to pledge. You don't feel that way?”
“No, I don't feel that way. Now I really don't know if I'm going to go through with that at all. If a person must lose their own identity to become a slave to somebody else—and allow reason to just go out the window—no, I don't want a part of that. I'm too strong-willed. Somebody will get killed in the process.”
“Yeah, and I got a feeling it wouldn't be you,” Torian said.
“Exactly,” I replied, knowing I would never put up with foolishness. “Hazing, hitting me, and mentally abusing me—they can have it. They've been known to do it tons of times to past lines, and I know they have intentions to do it to us.”
“I wish I could have some of your stamina,” Loni said.
“Girl, you are not no pushover yourself. I saw you turningdown them guys in there dancing tonight.”
“Yeah, coming at me with bad breath, falling all over themselves all drunk and stuff, and one guy had a joint in his hand. Well, what do they think I am?”
“Weak, like most of the women at a party trying to get with anybody. Torian, you're strong, too.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Taking on that whole crowd, telling them to get back. “
“It wasn't like they listened.”
“Yeah, but it's not like you backed down and stopped trying to get them off my butt.”
“What you expect us to do, girl? We care about you. What went down was unfortunate. Money is too hard to come by nowadays. Who has it to waste on replacing a window? I just hope it wasn't Sharon,” Torian said.
The two of them talked so sincerely about how they cared about me, and knowing they were also women of strength, maybe we could all be true buddies. UnfortunatelyI didn't know what having good girlfriends felt like. Someone other than a relative who just wanted to try to make it better ... that was somebody I wanted to be down with. Someone that would have your back on principle. That was a real bond.
7
BLEAK
I
t's funny how a week can make things so much better.I now had my car back and fixed. I was becoming quite close with Torian and Loni. I could really hang out with them. Fashion was my thing, so I noticed they both had unique styles. They didn't just wear store-put-togetheroutfits. That was a sign we could be cool.
Kade and I had it going on as well. Though I hadn't seen him since the night of the party, we'd talked multiple times every day. My classes were still a breeze. Sirena had been really helpful to me as well, fixing the best dinners and snacks that helped me while I studied. Yeah, my life was good.
If I only could have gotten my mom off my back about the whole pledging thing, I would have been great. Packetswere due the next day, and I hadn't even looked over mine since I'd seen my mom. I was going to see my mom at the national-organization headquarters right outside Little Rock because my godmom, the First Vice President, was in town. And my mom kept bugging me to bring my new buddies by to see Beta Gamma Pi's official space.
“Oh, wow, this place is more gorgeous than on the Web site,” Torian said as she stepped into the entrance when we arrived.
There was a marble hallway that stretched out many feet in front of us. Hanging from the thirty-foot ceiling was a lovely crystal chandelier. The soft, dim lighting provided a relaxing ambience. It was quite a breathtaking place. I'd been here countless times before, but I'd never stopped to appreciate the view. But I didn't feel like I wanted today to be any different. Being stubborn I said, “It's all right.”
“Come on, now, Malloy, ‘its all right'?” Loni teased. “This place is special. All these pictures on the wall of past and present leaders makes me feel like I can fly to my dreams and do anything.”
We walked past the turquoise-colored carpet in the founder's room. I couldn't get Torian and Loni to move past the door. They seemed to breathe it all in as if it were air. Finally they moved, and we headed to the room with the purple carpet. It was the National President's office.
“Oh, my gosh! I can't,” Torian said, stopping just shy of us going in.
“Girl, please. Mom, were here!” I called out—like I had absolutely no home training or etiquette. I shoved Torian into the room. Loni hit me on the shoulder. They were really way too into this.
Loni leaned over and whispered, “You know you're wrong for doing that. This is a big deal to us.”
“Yeah, to you,” I said. I felt like someone was forcing me into something. “Girl, I do not want to be here.”
“It's so crazy. So many girls across the country, trying to pledge Beta Gamma Pi right now, would kill to have their mom as the National President, and here you are. This is your real life, and you have no appreciation for it. Absolutely crazy to me,” Torian said melodramatically.
“If you been where I been,” I replied, “and had to put up with taking a backseat to this stuff all your life, you wouldn't be all nostalgic either, trust me.”
“Young ladies, hello and welcome.” My mom came out, hugging Torian and Loni.
She'd never met them a day in her life, but she was such the politician. She didn't, however, reach out her arms to me, probably a little unsure of how I was going to respond, as I'd already cut up a little bit during our entrance. But I couldn't play, act, or brush off the fact that I was ecstatic to see my godmom over in the corner. A dark-skinned lady, she was short in stature, but she was sassy. She didn't live in California—California lived in her. She was regal, upbeat, optimistic, lively, and charming, and everything about her said “I am an empowered black woman. Now what?”
After complete introductions were made, my godmother, Dr. Day, said, “So, ladies, Malloy's mom tells me you guys are trying to be Betas?”
“Yes, ma'am, we are,” Torian said in a perky tone when she saw I wasn't going to answer.
I looked around the room and started whistling. My godmother wanted me to pledge just as badly as my mom. They both were going to be disappointed.
“Oh, come on, now, dear, I know you're not going to let us down.”
I still couldn't respond. I didn't want to let her down. But I wasn't sure I could give her what she wanted either.
Dr. Day said, “You two stay here and speak to the National President. I'm going to take this lady here for a stroll.”
As soon as we stepped out of my mom's office, I felt less pressure. My mom's eyes on me was always intense. I always felt like I was gonna let her down just by not standingcorrectly.
My godmother said, “Girl, I have prayed for you so much over the years.”
“Yeah, and you've been there a lot for me, too, when my mama wasn't.” I had to give her props.
“Okay, might be some truth in that. But are you aware of all the good things your mom has done for the world and in the community through her services to and through our organization?” I shook my head. “Well, Malloy, she's the president now, and this is a paid position for her. Yeah, unlike all the other sororities out there, we've recognized that just as the executive director gets paid, the National Presidency is a full-time job and should be paid as well.” She waved for me to follow her.
“Where are we going?”
She unlocked the steel door. “This is our private room.”
“This isn't reserved for Betas only, is it?” I asked as we went into a dark space.
“No, it's ... it's not.” She flipped on the switch, and on the wall were thank-you letters from different mayors, counselmen, lawyers, and everyday people.
Squinting my eyes, I asked, “What am I supposed to make of all this?”
“Don't just read the headlines. You have got to read deeper, my dear.” My godmother saw me still not getting it and took me by the hand. “When the white racist talk-showhost got on the radio and degraded the first black homecoming queen of a predominately white school, your mom petitioned for his resignation and won. She made that man understand the depth of hurt and pain he caused many generations of young women. One discrimination case after another, your mom has been a social activist making change for our country. Here, a wrongfully convictedman was about to get out of the death penalty. Do you see this?”
“Yeah,” I said. A tear almost came to my eye as I looked at the picture of the badly beaten man.
“Because your mom got behind him, this young man is free. A lot of these people had no hope before Beta Gamma Pi got into the mix and exposed their unfortunate situation.I know there's a lot still wrong with our organization, but we need strong ladies like you to continue to make change. Beta Gamma Pi might have taken a piece of your childhood, but it can add so much more to your future if you let it. Join your mom and me in this great cause. Beta Gamma Pi needs you.”
I wanted so badly to ignore everything she was saying, but it stuck to my heart. What was I going to do?
 
A week later, I couldn't believe I was at the Beta Gamma Pi interview. Why was I doing this? Well, I'd convinced myself that all the good the organization stood for far outweighed all the reasons I wanted to stay away. Though I felt my mom had cheated me, she loved me with all her heart. This was her way of being the best mom she could be. I had to give this a try.
Surprisingly the first part of my interview went very well in front of the Betas and the adviser. I truly thought the Betas hated me, but they were overly cordial and all business.Obviously I had misjudged the group.
“Great, thank you. That'll be all,” Hayden said to me.
When I was ushered out, the chapter adviser followed me. “Now, you tell that mom of yours we took real good care of you.”
“Yes, ma'am,” I said. I saw four other girls waiting to go in. “You guys aren't done, are you?”
“We're taking a break for fifteen minutes. These young ladies are early. Got to go pick up my kids from school and run them home right around the corner. I'll be right back before they start up, or they'll have to wait. But, honey, you did so great.”
That was fine and dandy and all, but I wanted to make it on my own merit. No special treatment needed. Fair and just was all I asked for, and I knew deep down that would be all my mom would want.
As I went to look for my keys, I realized my purse wasn't on me.
A door opened, and the Vice President, Bea, yelled out, “Malloy, I think you left your purse!”
Darn it, she was right. I walked back to the room to get it. Bea didn't hand it to me, though. She actually tugged me back inside the door and slammed it.
“Round two of the interview. Okay, let's get down to business for real!” Sharon shouted out. “Sit, trick! Why do you think we'd ever want someone as disgusting as you to be a part of our group?”
“Disgusting?” I said, trying to maintain my composure. “I don't go around bashing in people's windows. Besides, when men tell me they don't want to be with me anymore, I let them go. I don't get mad at another female when I can't hold on to my man, and if I was a part of any kind of sorority trying to do good for the community, I would always seek out women with my characteristics.”
I looked hard into Sharon's face and rolled my eyes. I could not believe I had been thinking they were cool after all. These girls were now holding me here without an adviserpresent. Though I knew I could jet, I was ready for their heat.
“Okay, see, that's just it right now—she's accusing me of breaking her window,” Sharon said as she took off her earrings and came charging toward me.
“I thought this was an interview. If you guys wanted to ask me some serious questions, I could sit here another few minutes without your adviser, even though I know this little one-sided chat is illegal.”
“What, are you threatening us?” some tall girl hollered from the back.
A Beta who wore a pin with the name Dena on it pointed at me. “I haven't even seen you at any of our events. What events have you come to?”
“I'm taking a heavy course load this semester—”
She quickly cut me off. “And what about last semester?”
“I actually did attend a Beta Gamma Pi event for anotherschool this summer.”
Sharon yelled, “Oh, but you're trying to pledge Alpha chapter here, and you haven't been to our functions! Plus, going to parties don't count. You think we should let you on?”
“Again, I didn't think you were letting me on because I've come to your stuff. I thought you were letting me on because I could add to what you may do in the future.”
“Are you getting smart with me?” Sharon asked.
“Listen, ladies, I want to be a part of what you're doing, I do.” I couldn't believe I was uttering those words.
All of them looked like a bunch of barracudas waiting to eat me alive. I was trying to see past their yuckiness. But if it didn't work out, I wouldn't be crushed.
“Okay, that's more like it,” the president said.
“Don't be thanking her,” Sharon said to Hayden.
The door opened up, and the adviser came in. She looked at me strangely. I knew she wondered why I was back in there. I grabbed my purse and smiled at her. The Betas frowned at my exit. I knew my odds would be against me making their line. Whatever!
 
“Hey, y'all, what's up?” I said as I opened my door the next day to Loni and Torian. “Okay, neither one of you guys are smiling. What's going on? Y'all look all right, so I know nobody is hurt. What's up?”
“Why are you looking at us?” Torian said to Sirena, alerting me to the fact that Sirena was listening in the hallway.
“She's cool,” I said to my friends as I stuck my head out my door and waved. “Hey, girl.”
“Hey, I just was making sure you knew them.”
“Yeah, these are—”
Sirena squinted her face. “Who, who are they?”
“Why she got to tell you? Come on,” Torian said as she pulled Loni in and slammed the door.
“Now, you know that was rude,” I said.
Torian said, “Come on, Malloy, the girl was all up in your business. We got more serious stuff to handle than some girl that don't have a life.”
“Girl, that used to be me. I didn't have friends and all this other stuff till you guys came in the picture, trying to make me pledge and all that.”
Torian got excited. “What? Tell me. You got your letter?A call?”
“No, and don't you two try to save my feelings. It was no big deal that I didn't get invited in. You don't have to put on a face. This is October, not April Fool's. You can be excited if you got in.”
But they weren't smiling. They weren't opening up. They weren't overjoyed, and they showed me no official letters.
BOOK: The Way We Roll
3.85Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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