Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore
The Way We Roll (9 page)
Loni sank down in my bed and said, “You know what? I just really wanted this. I'm trying to stay positive about it, but it's just so unfair. All these girls are getting letters that have like a 2-something GPA; mine is 3.5. Yours is what, Torian?”
Torian said, “Mine is 3.0.”
Loni continued venting. “And you said you didn't get a letter. Malloy, you had what, a 3.9?”
I nodded.
“And who wrote your letter?” Loni asked.
“My godmother.”
Loni rationalized, “So the First National Vice President wrote your letter, and you didn't make line.”
“How do you guys know we didn't for real?”
“Everybody has gotten their letters. Word is if you didn't get anything this morning, you'll be getting the no-thanks letter next week,” Loni said.
Torian looked away. “I think it's because we've been hanging out with you.”
Trying to be real about it, I said, “Guys, we've just been hanging out for, what, a couple weeks?
“Yeah, but that's the most crucial time,” Torian said in a salty tone. “Ever since we've been together, they've been having little events here and there, and we haven't been going.”
I detested the fact that many girls trying to pledge a sorority felt that participating in illegal pledge activities was all right. Anything outside of the programs that were sanctioned by the national organization was underground activity. This was forbidden for a reason. Yet lots of peoplefelt true pledging could be handled only with off-the-recordstuff. If the only way to become a legit Beta was to have someone demean you with violence, they could count me out.
“I never stopped you,” I said. “You want to get your head bashed in, then more power to you.”
“I knew I should have pledged Rho Tau Nu,” Torian said. “Friendlier than the girls here.”
“Oh, you think so?” Loni said.
“Maybe, and why wouldn't they want me? My Beta interview went well.”
“My first one did, too,” I said, “but then I had another one that was crazy.”
Torian said, “Yeah, we tried to call you afterward when we hadn't heard from you. We didn't know if you were participating in some of that underground stuff because you hadn't returned our calls and had left us out.”
“I'm sorry about that, y'all. I'm just not used to having to check in with girlfriends. I've gone to none of their sets.”
“It's cool. Your mom is going to be so hurt, too,” Toriansaid.
“I tried. I mean, why is she going to be disappointed? It's not that I didn't go after it. They just decided not to put me on.”
Torian said, “Yeah, I don't think she's going to be mad at you, but she'll be sad that all the hopes and dreams she has for you weren't realized. The things she wants you to gain out of this whole pledge experience will never be.”
Loni added, “She was really pumped that we were hangingout.”
Torian said, “She says you've always been a loner.”
“Yeah, because I had friends in middle school who back-stabbedme. That stuff hurt like something I'll never forget, and I just said I wasn't going to let a girl have that power anymore. Particularly a group of them.”
“Funny, it has always been just the opposite for me,” Torian said. “I've always stuck my neck out for my girlfriends.We've had issues, but deep down I knew how much I cared for them. I'd make sure that good was done in their life, and if I could change any of the pain they'd ever go through, I would. That's just what deep friendship and true sisterhood is all about.”
I thought about what the two of them said, and I tried to make our evening fun. I cooked some steaks on my George Foreman Grill, and I even pulled out some girlie movies, putting my homework aside. But Torian and Loni weren't getting happier. They kept checking their e-mail to see if they'd gotten an electronic letter.
I knew Torian was right. The reason they weren't going to make line was really because they had been hanging out with me, and because the girls in the chapter had a personal vendetta with me that had nothing to do with my friends. I so wanted to help my girls get their dream. I genuinely cared that they were hurting, and I didn't want their outlook to stay bleak.
8
GIGANTIC
“
W
hat do you mean, you didn't make line?”
W
hat do you mean, you didn't make line?”
“No, not me, Mom. I'm not calling about me,” I said to my mother over the phone as her voice got extremelyangry, hearing that her precious Betas had omittedmy two qualified friends and myself from their line.
“Yes, I understand about your two friends. They were lovely ladies. I haven't read all their information, but I'm certain they would have been great candidates, particularlyif you say so. But I know your package was more than tight, and the adviser told the Regional Coordinator you shined. They didn't put you on? Oh, no.”
“Mom,” I said as I got up and went into my bedroom and closed the door.
Torian and Loni had looked extremely excited when they'd seen me calling my mom on their behalf. The last thing I wanted to happen was for my mom to turn it all around and get only me on line, when I wasn't even sweatingabout not being chosen. She had to understand that.
After I talked it through, she said, “I hear what you're saying.”
“Do you, Mom, because I don't want you to get me put on just because.”
“Well, you need to understand that they can't just pick and choose who they want without true justification as to why you guys didn't make it. Somebody not liking youâthat's an unacceptable reason. They can't even hold it against you that your mom is the National President. And you think if those jokers were smart enough they would have put you on just because. But, again, I know your stuff was pristine.”
“So can I tell my friends we're on?”
“No, no. You can't tell anybody anything. The Regional Coordinator has to handle this. Let me call her and get her involved. Tell your friends not to worry and just to have faith. And I'm so glad you called me, Malloy, because if the ceremony had happened and I didn't protest it in time, there'd be nothing I could do. But right now I can't believe this, and there is a lot I can do.”
Because my mom worked on a national level for Beta Gamma Pi, I knew too much about the organization. There was a Pi ceremony, the induction ceremony where girls took their first pledge into the illustrious group. Then there were five gem ceremonies that each provided a special piece of training and vow that moved a person closer towardintake. Lastly there was the big ceremony, where a person actually became initiated. But you could only be initiated if you went through all the ceremonies. It was an all-or-nothing pledge process. But if they didn't want me to be a part of their organization, forget them. Why couldn't my mom see that?
“And you really want me to be a part of this sorority?”
“Well, we all have drama. We all have problems, but that doesn't mean it can't get better. So let me take care of what I need to take care of, and I'll be in touch. Smooches.”
“Bye, Ma.”
“Tell us what she said,” Torian said as she swung open my bedroom door and waited for my response.
“Well, I don't need to tell youâit looks like you were eavesdropping.”
Torian smiled and came closer. “I could hear only your part of the conversation. I didn't hear what she said.”
“Let's back up, Torian, and give her space,” Loni said rationally.
“Yeah, we just gotta chill right now. I don't know nothing.But she is going to try.”
I didn't know how to respond when Torian suddenly hugged me real tight. It was the first time I'd ever experiencedthat kind of gratefulness. Quickly I pulled back. A part of me still didn't want to get too close. I still wasn't used to this girlfriend stuff. And another part wanted to hug Torian back and tell her how I felt about her friendship.But for now I had to be real.
“Listen, I know my mom's got pull and everything, but she didn't say we'd make line for sure.”
“I know, I know, but it's just the thought that you tried,” Torian said as she reached over and hugged me again. “Oh, my gosh, Malloy, thank you.”
The next morning, I awoke not to my alarm clock but to the pounding of my door. I had a gut feeling it was Sirena. I didn't want to be rude to her and tell her I wasn't up for breakfast or a morning chat, as she'd been begging me to do with her for the last week. I thought if I'd ignoredher, she'd understand I was tired and leave me alone, but her pounding just kept getting louder and louder and more persistent. Finally I dragged myself out of bed and went to the door.
“Yes?” I said in an irritated tone as I wiped my eyes and saw someone other than whom I expected. Hayden was standing before me. She didn't even ask if she could come in. She just walked right past me.
Frowning, she said, “Okay, look, I'm just gonna keep it real. Your mom made her calls. She played the ace card. You and those other two that we didn't want are on line.”
I looked back at her, unimpressed. I didn't know if she wanted me to get on my knees and bow down to her, so I just looked at her. I mean, she wasn't doing me any favorsby coming over here and giving me the news in person.It was obvious they didn't like me, and I wasn't gonna go away quickly and quietly. There was no reason I didn't make line. I had probably been more qualified then any of them already in the chapter. As much as I tried to denounceit, I had Beta Gamma Pi royalty running through my blood. I knew more facts and history about the organizationthan I wanted to admit. As she stood there lookingsmug at me, I wasn't going to back down and make her think I thought she was superior. Heck to the naw! When she kept staring, I said, “So, anything else you've got to say?”
“I suggest you quit before you even get in, Malloy. It'll be a big mess if you don't.”
I opened the front door. She handed me a packet of information,walked out, and before she could say another smart word, I slammed the door in her face.
Â
“What are y'all looking at?” I said to the other seven girls who kept staring at Torian, Loni, and myself as we waited to be inducted as Pis in the first iniation ceremony.
We were in the historic theater building on campus. I hated being in the cramped actors' dressing room off to the side. The air was so thick with female judgment I could have sworn we were outside dealing with smog. Loni had a body to die for, and her outfit was very fitted. Torian was just too perky and confident for the girls staring at us, I guess. Girls were hating.
It was no secret the other seven girls had been prepledg-ing.I wasn't trailing them or anything, but they were on line illegally because they'd been underground for a while. They even looked malnourished. They all looked like if I put a burger in front of them, they'd tear it up. The three of us looked fresh, but those girls looked like hags. No style, no fashion, and no flare. Yuck. Actually, no part of me wanted to be with them. I could not imagine us as sisters. If we were sisters, I'd take them in the back room and change their clothes. But we weren't, so I kept my thoughts to myself. And if they thought underground activities were making them beautiful, they needed a mirror. No sister would have me looking like crap.
Thankfully they had all made it through the applicationprocess. Last year the talk had been that most of the girls on the underground line hadn't even been selected to be on the real line. Why take such a gamble? You mentallytear me down and then you don't even lift me up to the line. Not!
“Girl, don't be so mean to them,” Torian said to me as she yanked me to the side. “They're never gonna like us that way.”
I looked at Loni. “You better school your girl.”
“Yeah,” Loni said. “Torian, because we got put on line, they're not gonna like us anyway.”
There was still the big question: why I was doing this. I mean, I knew it was going to make my mother happy, and a part of me liked being places where people thought they could keep me out. However, looking around at the brutal stares, I could have been doing way more with my time than putting up with these girls. My cell phone rang.
“You're not supposed to have a phone!” one girl shouted. “They collected them weeks ago, but you weren't here.”
I looked at the phone, saw it was Kade, and answered it. “Hey, baby. Hold on one second.” I went over to the girls and said, “Listen, I know y'all got beef with us, and I really don't care. I wasn't here a few weeks ago, but I'm here now. I haven't pledged nobody's nothing yet. I can do what I want, when I want. Now stay out of my business.Hey babe,” I said into the phone.
“Dang, girl! Who you talkin' to?” Kade asked.
“I'm about to do this whole crazy pledge thing. Talk me out of it now, please!”
“You about to pledge? I don't understand. Sharon told me you didn't get an invite. That's why I was calling you, thinking we could get together. I just assumed you'd be somewhere sulking or whatever.”
“Okay, so you think it's gonna slide past me that you been talking to Sharon?” I said to him, not happy at all that she was glad to give my man my bad news.
“Let me clarify. I just read her text. Don't need to get in trouble over my own words. I've been at school and football wishing I could be with you so you can rub me down. I'm aching, baby.”
Relieved, I said, “I miss you, too, sweetie. For some crazy reason I just feel like I gotta do this. My mom got me on, so the drama is on.”
“You got it like that? I understand. I love the ladies in the lavender and turquoise. But I miss my boo and need her with me,” he said.
“Aw, I wish I could be with you, too. I just don't know when that's gonna happen. This all is so crazy, and I'm already on the hot seat.”
“Well, don't let none of them girls break you down. I love your spirit. You would not be you if you marched to the beat of a plain drum.”
“Thanks.” We said our good-byes and hung up.
“No, you don't need to go over there.” The girl who had told me to get off the phone tried to hold back the shortest girl in the room. But the little bitty chick pranced over to the three of us anyway. “Okay, so I'm Tammie with an
I-E
.”
I-E
.”
Without a care, I said, “Okay. I'm Malloy.”
“I'm Torian.” My friend perked up and offered her hand.
“Loni,” my laid-back buddy said, not as thrilled.
“Why are you over here?” I asked, getting right to the point.
“Everybody tells me you're mean as a snake and can read right through people, so I appreciate your candor. Hopefullyyou appreciate mine.”
“I'm not mean, am I,” I said, looking at Torian and Loni as the two of them just laughed.
“I know my line sisters are a little ticked that you guys didn't go through none of the stuff we went through. A little bit of brutality, a little bit of emotional distressâ”
“You asked for that by showing up for underground stuff, right?” I cut in.
“No, no. I'm just saying that's why they're upset. But I'm not upset. I'm honored to have the National President'sdaughter on my line. So while a lot of people plan not to associate themselves with you, I can give you some inside information in return for a little bit of special privilege.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked as she rambled.
“Word is your mama is here for this ceremony. I want to meet her.” Tammie pointed to her crew. “All them will be there hoping she talks to them, but you can introduce me.”
“She'll do it,” Torian insisted.
Tammie leaned in and said, “Smart move. The inside information I'll bring to you three will eventually help win them over.”
The ceremony was about to begin. I was at the back of the line, being the tallest. Loni and Torian were next to each other in the middle, which was great. I didn't care that no one talked to me, but the two of them would need each other to get through all the tension. As soon as we were ushered into the building, my mother was on the stage conducting the ceremony, as she was the highest-ranking Beta in the place. The passion glistening in her eye capturedmy heart. I never saw her smile brighter.
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