The Will to Love (11 page)

“What. Do. You. Want?” He managed to keep the slur out of his voice though if he kept drinking at his current pace, that would be a harder feat to manage.

“Listen, it isn’t a good idea for you and Laurel to stay at the hotel tonight. Paul told us Rory has a thing for…cohesion. He wants to make sure there aren’t any issues with the band. If he sees Grant and I show up separately from you then that will raise a few eyebrows.” Kaz’s voice was cold and it was obvious he was just as pissed off as Will felt.

“What did you tell him about Jaden’s absence?”

“Um, pregnant girlfriend and she’s having a few complications. It’s no secret Jaden’s life is a walking, fucking tabloid. Rory isn’t worried about him but he would be concerned about you staying the night at his hotel.”

“Laurel’s taking a shower so I suppose we could get there before two in the morning, if we’re lucky.”

“Cool. I’m sending the limo service out now.”

“Okay.”

“And Will?”

“What, Kaz?”

“Thanks,” he replied, his voice almost breaking.

Will had been so wrapped up in his own shit, he’d almost forgot about the issues going on between Syd and Kaz. Mostly because he didn’t really feel all that sorry for their lead singer. He’d gotten his way his entire life and it was about time someone knocked him down a peg or two.

“No problem.” Will ended the call and finished what was left of his whiskey before there was a knock at the door.

He’d almost forgotten about the request he’d made to hotel services.

As he stood to his feet, the whiskey almost knocked him back down on his ass. He was officially drunk and thank fuck they didn’t have to rely on him getting them to the suburbs of Vegas where Paul and his wife, Jerrica, lived. It was at least a thirty minute trek from the Strip without traffic but plenty of people were still out and about, and the Strip still looked like a parking lot due to out of town drivers, massive limousines arranging from the more classic type to Hummers and Escalades.

Will wandered over to the door swaying a bit and took the package from hotel delivery before he tipped him a fifty and closed the door.

“Laurel, babe!” he yelled out, “what the fuck you doin’ in there? Kaz is sending a limo—we gotta stay with Paul and Jerrica tonight.”

She left their bedroom suite and met him in the sitting room where he’d collapsed on the sofa. She looked completely different, her damp hair in a high pony tail and she wore a pair of boyfriend jeans and short-sleeved, black burnout tee with Winter’s Regret in silver-blue letters.

“There’s no need to shout. I never unpacked so I’m ready to go downstairs when you are.”

“Good. Here you go.” He threw her the package and she caught it with ease.

“What the fuck is this?”

“A happy pill…at least for me.”

Will watched her reaction as she opened the brown bag and removed a box of Plan B One-Step. “What the hell is this for?”

He watched her carefully as she opened the box. “That bastard fucked you bareback, Laurel. He might have had your body tonight but he will not control an
ounce
of our future and that means making sure his seed
wasn’t
planted tonight. You got that?”

Her eyes, more green than hazel at that point, looked terrified but she nodded her head vigorously. She stood on slightly shaky legs and strode over to the bar, grabbed a miniature bottle of Grey Goose, and swallowed the tablet with the alcohol.

“It’s a much better alternative than a drive to a clinic, wouldn’t you say?”

“Of course.” Laurel finished her vodka. “I wasn’t thinking and thank God you bought this because I don’t
want
Karl’s kid. He’s engaged to be married for Christ’s sake. Let his fucking wife have his perfect, tow-haired, blue-eyed fucking kids.”

Will glared at her before he smiled slightly to himself before there was a knock at the door yet again.

“The limo must be here.”

Laurel looked up before she quickly walked into the bedroom and grabbed her luggage.

Meanwhile, he opened the door and the bellhop started loading their luggage onto the luggage cart.

Will and Laurel left the hotel together. The ride to Paul and Jerrica’s was mostly quiet. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he finally grabbed her hand closest to him.

She breathed loudly before she buried her face into the crook of his neck. He could feel the wetness from her eyes and realized she was crying.

“I thought you hated me. Please just tell me that you’ll give us another chance. I don’t know…if it’s fair to base everything we’ve had on past mistakes. We’ve both made them but I promise I won’t hold anything against you if you do the same for me.” Her voice was quiet and muffled but her mouth was so close to his ear, he heard every word.

Will’s heart thundered in his body and he realized the decision was out of his hands. He couldn’t
not
give her a second chance. It wasn’t even about him not wanting to be alone but she was his and he was hers. This was the way it was supposed to be and tonight would haunt them for the rest of their lives if they allowed it.

If they chose to be strong and forgive one another then they could have one another and perhaps even a real future together.

Only time would tell.

Part Two

Slow Down The Song

Seven Months Later

Chapter Nine

Laurel

“WHAT DO YOU think?”

I looked around the house Will had bought us in the community of Lake Las Vegas and it was quite stunning to be honest.

Of course it was way too much room for the two of us but we were down the street from Kaz and Sydney. Grant and Sasha lived on the other side of the gated community and Jaden had bought a home near them though he was on his own. As far as I knew, he saw Faith every now and then; he had pretty much the same schedule with Talia.

I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and smiled back at Will. I didn’t want to think about the personal life of certain people. I was happy and so was my boyfriend so that’s all that mattered to me. It sounded cold and callous but I couldn’t conjure up any sympathy for either Faith or Jaden. They were a train wreck waiting to happen.

“I love it.” I smiled at Will as we walked through the large living room and stepped into the hallway where a set of wide spiral stairs led up to the second floor. “It’s a bit large, isn’t it? I mean, it’s just you and me.”

He grabbed me by the waist from behind and buried his face in my hair. “Yes but eventually, there will be more people here than just you and I. Or did you forget?”

“No, I haven’t.”

I’d been off birth control for the past three months and Will was so sure we would be getting pregnant any moment. My body wasn’t actively helping us out on our baby journey although I was healthy and of child-bearing age, according to my gynecologist, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me downstairs.

“Maybe I should marry you before we get you preggers. Your parents don’t actually like me very much and I think your mother would kill me if you were to be ‘with child’ before any vows were said.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fuck her. She’s just an old prude. You know they’ve always considered Sasha their perfect daughter. My parents are just…ugh. Do we have to talk about them at all?”

“Actually, we do because we have a dinner date with them tonight along with Grant and Sasha.” He nibbled on my neck and I started to laugh out loud.

My attitude changed and suddenly I was a bit melancholy. “Do you ever miss it? I mean…part of me feels so selfish because I’m infringing on a part of you that doesn’t want someone like me and your parents resent me. I think they were looking forward to having a son-in-law. They certainly don’t like
me
.”

Will turned me around and made me face him. His crystal blue eyes were clear and bright. “Listen, yes, I do miss men and gay sex but you are perfectly capable of giving me what I need and more than that…I’m in love with you.”

My heart felt like it stopped in its tracks though I knew it beat just the same. “You’re
what
? With
me
?”

“You heard me the first time. I didn’t choose to fall in love with you and frankly after what happened seven months ago, I had a hard time believing I would move on from that. It just seemed like it was all too much too soon. Grant and me ending our sexual relationship, and then that incident at Club X-Tasy. I really thought I hated you for a while even though I now know what happened that night is really my fault.”

“How do you figure that?” I wondered as I grabbed the side of his clean shaven face and kissed him on the lips. “Why? Because you took me there? It’s not your fault—it’s Karl’s—and if he’d left us alone then it would’ve never happened. Don’t you dare blame yourself. Now, he’s married to some plastic French bitch who looks like a goddamn upscale Barbie Doll. Let her fuckin’ deal with his weird ass sexual kinkiness. It’s not our business.”

“If you’d let me finish, I wanted to say that I realized you’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. Most women—that would’ve broken them but it made you a different person. You seemed to be even less conscious about designer labels and all that frivolous shit. You have kept me going all these months with all the changes that have taken place and I enjoy your freakiness. I think it keeps our sex life interesting.”

“That it does.” I smiled again before I kissed him yet again. His tongue probed my open mouth and I accepted his intrusion with ease as the fire in my loins grew and I could feel myself respond sexually.

Once we separated, I whispered, “We’re gonna have to christen this new pad soon. Is it fully furnished?”

Will nodded as he grabbed the back of my neck and sighed out loud. “But not now, unfortunately. I have to get to practice. You wanna come and watch your man?”

I laughed out loud. “Like I have a choice. I have to take some photos of you all in action. Per Mr. Krieger’s orders, the studio photos are great but he wants some natural photos too.”

“So, you really like this house? I mean, I could have gotten us a place in Summerlin but I thought you’d like living in Hell’s half acre.”

We separated and I quickly grabbed my camera equipment along with Louis Vuitton hobo bag. “We’re not that far from civilization and the Strip is only about half an hour, forty-five minutes in heavy traffic. I like the area, even if it is full of stick-up-their-ass types I grew up with but…maybe the neighborhood will change a little now that so many stars live in the area. You know Chyna Bleu and Damian Phillips live here too? They’re pop stars. Maybe we can transform this place into Vegas’ own version of the Hollywood Hills.”

“Dream on. Wait until we spend our first night here and you’ll see how fuckin’ quiet it gets around here at night.”

“Well, I wouldn’t doubt that.”

We walked out to Will’s silver Porsche Cayenne. I had a pearl-white Cadillac Escalade because he wanted me to have a bigger vehicle. I’d also kept my black Mini Cooper just in case though we both agreed I shouldn’t drive it during the summer months.

Now that it was late autumn, the weather was starting to cool down. I wore a short black wool coat over a pair of skinny jeans and a lace sweater. I had a feeling I might have to put on some more clothes since the casinos were notoriously cold and we would have to pass through Vogue’s casino area before we reached their state of the art arena.

I got into the passenger seat as Will swung around and got into the driver’s seat. His phone began to ring and he answered with a button in the Porsche.

“Yeah?”

“You on your way? Take your time. We only have to practice for a couple hours.” It was Kaz trying to be serious though since he and Syd had gotten back together, he was less of an asshole than usual.

The time they’d spent apart had really fucked with his head and now that she’d agreed to marry him, he was a changed man. This wasn’t such a bad thing because as he’d brightened and become a better person.

Jaden, on the other hand, was on a one-way train to Clusterfuck Central; no one could help him because he refused help or good advice from anyone who offered.

Syd and I had grown close while she’d been separated from Kaz and although Talia had taken over as her primary BFF, we were still besties too and there wasn’t much I didn’t know about either woman’s situation.

Unfortunately, I didn’t feel like I could be that honest with either them about what was going in my life because Syd didn’t know about my relationship with Karl or the DVDs or any of that shit. The only people who knew were Will and Karl, of course. It was one of the reasons why we bonded so easily after the whole incident. He knew every part of me; more than my best friend or my own sister or even my parents.

I don’t know if it was his burden to carry but I’d placed it on him and he carried it without complaint.

“Why are you so quiet over there?” Will said as stroked my hair lovingly.

“Just thinking…I don’t know if I should have unloaded all that crazy shit I’ve done in my life on you. Keeping all my dirty little secrets away from everyone and not being able to tell anyone. I feel downright crappy actually.” I looked over at his profile since he couldn’t face me due to traffic on the I-215.

“Listen, I’m more than happy to protect you in any way I can. It’s not a burden, believe me. I don’t want you to ever feel embarrassed or ashamed to walk out of the house because the press got a hold of one of your films. It would hurt me more than it’d hurt you and it’s not because I think it would damage me or my reputation. I just know enough about your parents to know they probably would disown you if they knew the truth.”

I raised worried eyebrows. “You’re not wrong about that. There’s no way they would respect me or call me their daughter if any of that shit came out. I’d be well and truly fucked.”

“Let’s not even talk about what your sister what say or what kind of PR disaster she’d have on her hands. It’s not like she doesn’t have enough on her plate with Jaden and his ‘baby mama drama’ and that drugged-out whore he still insists on calling his girlfriend.” Will whistled out loud. “Shit’s getting’ fuckin’ deep with that situation and if he doesn’t handle it soon, someone is going to end up in the motherfuckin’ ground.”

My heart beat fiercely in my chest and I tried to control my breathing as I felt myself break out into hives, whether real or imagined, I wasn’t quite sure. “What do you mean
dead
? Do you think something would happen to Talia?”

I admit I didn’t know the lead singer of Winter’s Regret as well as Syd did but she had an enigmatic stage presence and she was one of the friendliest and most genuine rock stars out there. She was raising her son, Kaelan, alone, and without any help what-so-ever from Jaden. Hell, though she didn’t need it, he didn’t even pay
child
support.

To say I despised the lead guitarist of Scarlet Fever was an understatement of the year.

“No, nothing like that…no way would Desmond murder the mother of his grandchild,” Will dismissed suggestively. “Plus, he has a soft spot for her but…Jaden knows all this. He grew up in a motorcycle club for God’s sake and he knows what his family is capable of. Dizzy never liked Faith and I wouldn’t put it past him to try to slip her a hot dose. They do run coke for the Navarro family so it wouldn’t be too far out that they would have contacts who could get to her.”

“Then why does Jaden continue to play with fire? Why doesn’t he just pick a goddamn woman and be done with it? He must know the game he’s playing is very dangerous and granted, I don’t talk to Faith much anymore, but we
were
former BFFs and she’s fucked in the head.” I ran a nervous hand through my hair before I pulled out my phone and checked for text messages and phone calls I might have missed.

“Who the hell knows what goes on in Jaden’s head? I gave up tryin’ to figure him out a long time ago when he called me a ‘cock sucking faggot.’ That pretty much killed any camaraderie I would feel for him. We’ve never been friends. We’re band mates—that is as far as our relationship goes.”