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Authors: Gene Wolfe

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BOOK: The Wizard
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you at least." "You know that?" I nodded. "Yet there might still be a name to be won." "By diplomacy?" "Against the Angrborn. I might best their champions or defend the embassy. They are lawless folk." "In which case you could hardly expect their champions to fight fairly." "To fight fairly is to fight as well as one can, among other things. Why did you let me defeat you?" "Hesh deep." Hela slapped the Knight of the Leopards' shoulders hard enough to shake him, then rose and stumbled away. Her voice came floating back: "You wash out." "I'll explain. I warn you that you won't find anything interesting in my explanation." "I doubt that." "We'll see. I love Disiri, the Queen of the Moss Aelf. I have all my life, or anyway that's how it seems now." The Knight of the Leopards did not speak. "You don't believe in the Aelf. I've been to Aelfrice and she's been with me here. You'll say I should know other women. I couldn't love them, and nothing they did could make me stop loving her." "You are a fortunate man," the Knight of the Leopards told me. "Most of us never find such love." "Maybe you're right. Once I nearly forgot her. I was far away from her. Very far." "I would think this would be far enough." "This is near. That wasn'tit's where she can never go. I thought I was happy and others thought so, too. I had strong friends, and they wanted me happy and did everything they could for me." An owl hooted and I heard Cloud stamp, ready to gallop. "Something gnawed me. I woke up crying and couldn't remember the dreams. Here I don't sleep. Not like you do." "Something was said about that earlier." "Then I probably lied, but I promised the truth now. A wise friend saw I wasn't really happy, though I didn't know it. He returned to my mind a thousand things I'd forgotten." "Were you on the Isle of Glas?" Surprised, I looked up. "I have been. Why do you ask?" "An old woman who used to tell me stories said that men there forgot their lives and were only happy and foolish." "I know nothing about that," I said slowly, "but I've been there and I'd like to go back someday. When my memories returned, you see, I knew that what I'd thought was happiness was just oblivion. I could never be happy without Disiri." "You're fortunate, Sir Able, exactly as I said." "I'm glad you think so. Here I returned bound. I don't intend to talk about the restriction put on me by my friend. It's another restriction that concerns you. I gave my word to Duke Marder, swearing I'd go to these mountains, take my stand, and hold the pass against every other knight 'til ice floated in the harbor at Forcetti." "Or your arms were forfeit." "Right. With helm, mail, and shield gone, I couldn't hold the pass. I'd promised to fight, but not to fight well. You unhorsed me" "She's here." The Knight of the Leopards pointed. "I never knew a horse could walk as silently as a doe." Cloud came to me, lowering her head for me to stroke. "Does she understand what we say?" "More than a child, but less than a woman. But she understands us better than a woman would, and beyond that I can't say. I'd planned to give her to you. My sword too. The sword is the ancient brand Eterne." The Knight of the Leopards paled. "It was too late when I saw I couldn'tthat it was a coward's path I followed with a thief's conscience. How long 'til ice fills Forcetti's harbor?" He shook his head. "No man alive knows less of ice and snow than I, Sir Able." "That's the dead of winter. Six weeks. Two months, maybe. 'Til then no knight gets past me. Then I'll be free, and find Queen Disiri. . . ." "As you hoped to do today." "Right. I need a lancea better one than the one I got from you, though I beg your pardon for saying it." "My pardon will be gladly given, if you will tell me what ails mine." "They're ash or worse, and too long. Is it by breaking his lances that a knight gets glory?" "In part, it seems." "In other words, they're lances made to break. I don't want glory. I want victory, and spiny orange." The Knight of the Leopards fetched Cloud's blanket, and I my war saddle. While I was tightening the cinch, he got her bridle, but I waved it away. I swung into the saddle, and we galloped up a hill of air. When we reached its summit, we stopped. I whistled, and Gylf ran up it to trot at Cloud's heels.

CHAPTER TEN OATHS AND ILL MEWS

"A naked girl." Ulfa looked Toug up and down. Toug nodded. "Did I say you hadn't grown since the last time I saw you? I know I did. Ymir! Was I wrong!" "I didn't expect it either," Toug assured her, "and we don't have to have clothes. She's hiding, and she can keep on hiding. But if she could get clothes she could talk to peopleit's pretty dark already because of the snow, and it'll be night before too much longer." Ulfa nodded wearily. "Winter days are short up here." "So we don't have to, but it'd help. Boots for me would help, too. And I've got to find that cat." "King Gilling's cat." "Lady Idnn's. Only maybe he's really Sir Able's. Cats don't like to tell you about this stuff." "He's not" Ulfa searched for a word. "Outgoing? Not as chatty as you might like him to be, this cat." "Oh, he talks a lot." "A talking cat." Toug nodded. "That's why the king wants him, or part of it. We're supposed to be in our room and Thiazi's watching, so he must know we're gone. Have you got any clothes besides what you're wearing?" "Upstairs." Ulfa gestured, and Toug trotted after her. "You've got nice clothes yourself," she said when they had started climbing a stone stair whose steps were far too high. "What happened to your nice warm cloak?" "Baki's got it now," Toug explained. "Lady Idnn gave it to me. She said if I fought well when we fought the giants, she'd give me a shield with the white griffin on it. And she did, only it's back with Sir Svon. When she gave it to me, she gave me this too. She said somebody who was going to be a knight shouldn't shiver." "It's always cold here. I suppose you've noticed I'm dressed in rags?" "They aren't that bad," Toug declared stoutly. "They're the best I've got. Why don't you get your friend Lady Idnn to give thisthis naked girl" "Baki." "This Baki some clothes?" "She might," Toug said thoughtfully. "Only all the rest of us are outside the walls. When Mani Mani's the cat." "The talking cat." Ulfa looked back at him. "Yes. When Mani talks to the king, he's got to get him to let them in. Or that's what I think." He looked up the steps into darkness. "Aren't there any torches?" "Just cressets. It's a basket of iron straps you can burn things in. If this castle weren't stone, we couldn't use them. And there aren't many of those, because the giants can see in the dark and they don't care if we fall off." "I see," Toug said. "Which means you don't. All our men are blind, so they don't care that there's no cressets either. Are we going to have to go back down to give my clothes to your girl?" "She'll come up with us, I think." Ulfa stopped to look behind her, and he bumped into her in the darkness. "Sorry!" "I don't see her," Ulfa declared. Baki's hand slipped into Toug's. "You might not," Toug said. "Or Mani either, if Mani didn't want us to see him." The three of them went down a dismal hallway that would have been as dark as the stair if some of the doors along it had not been open; at the end Ulfa opened the door of a room larger than Toug had expected. In it, two narrow beds had been pushed together to make a wide one. Ulfa tossed fresh wood on the embers in the little fireplace. "This isn't so bad," Toug said. "Most aren't this nice. Pouk can fight." Nodding, Toug went to the window and put his head out. The turret in which he and Mani had been confined was visible far below and to the right, with an umber flag standing out straight from, a pole on the roof. "You'll catch cold." It sounded like home. He turned back to Ulfa. "I will anyhow, I guess." "Here." In quick succession she handed him a woman's linen shift, stained but serviceable, a gray wool gown with holes under the arms, and a short cloak that might once have been bearskin, although most of the fur was gone. "I don't have shoes," Ulfa told him, "and I don't have stockings I can spare. Pouk might be able to give you a pair of boots." She considered. "But I don't know and I'm not about to give away his things, not even to my brother. Or he might be able to get you some." "I really appreciate this," Toug said. He held up the gown. "I'm afraid this will be too long." "Then she'll have to hem it. This girlI thought you said you and the cat were the only ones they let come in." Still looking at the gray gown, Toug nodded. "Then where did this girl come from? Is she one of us?" "She followed me, I think. She was hurt and I helped her. Sir Able told me how." Memories of long rides through snow and freezing wind returned, and he added, "This was down south, just this side of the mountains." "You want me to help you find her now?" There was a soft knock. Toug said, "That's her, I'm pretty sure." He opened the door and handed the clothes out to Baki. "She'll come in when she's dressed." In a moment Baki did, smiling as she returned his cloak. Ulfa stared at her. "I thought you said my gown would be too long." "She's gotten taller," Toug explained. Baki made Ulfa a curtsy. "Thank you for sharing your clothing with me." Ulfa was looking at Toug. "This's youryour . . . ?" "My friend, that's all." "There's a lot going on here that I don't understand," Ulfa said. A stubborn set to her mouth reminded Toug of their father. Baki said, "There is so much that I do not understand either, Ulfa. You are Toug's sister? That is what he says, and your faces are like." Ulfa nodded. "I'm three years older." "More than that. Why are you in Utgard?" Toug said, "You were at home the last time I saw you." Ulfa nodded. "Do you want the whole story? It won't take long." Baki said, "I do." "All right. A knight called Sir Able came to our house in Glennidam." Ulfa sat down on a stool near the fire. "Do you know how many women would kill to have your red hair?" "Certainly. I know Sir Able, too. Much better than you do. Did you want to marry him?" Ulfa shook her head. "Of course you did." Baki smiled, not quite carefully enough to hide her teeth. "Why else would you chase him?" Ulfa turned back to Toug. "You wanted me to dress your girl. I've done it. Do I have to look for your cat, too?" Toug considered. "I don't think so. For one thing, Mani's looking for you, so the best thing might be for you to go on doing what you'd do usually, so he can find you. If he does, tell him we'll be back soon." "Tell your cat that." Toug nodded. "He won't talk to you, and probably he'll pretend not to understand. But he will, so tell him. Talk to him exactly like you would a person." Baki giggled, a brass cymbal tickled with fingertips. "Meantime you two will be looking for him." Toug nodded, and Baki said, "Yes. We will." "Listen here. You look for my husband, too." Toug stared. "Are you married now?" "Yes. His name's Pouk. I told you." "Sir Able's servant," Baki explained. "I don't know what he looks like," Toug said. Baki said, "I do." Ulfa ignored her. "Not much taller than I am, big nose, tattoos on the backs of both hands." For a moment, Ulfa smiled; it was the first time Toug had seen her smile since he had found her. "You said you wanted my story." Baki said, "But you did not tell it." "No. No, I didn't. I will now. I met Sir Able. This was when he took Toug away." Toug himself nodded. "We were all terribly worried about him, but my father wouldn't let me look for him, and he couldn't go himself and leave my mother and me alone. So I left after they'd gone to bed. I had money from some outlaws Sir Able and my father killed. It wasn't a lot, but I thought it was. I buried half in the woods. I took the rest, just walking you know, with a long stick." "You could've been killed," Toug told her. "That's right, but I could've been killed at home, too. There was a man who tried to rape me, and I got his sword and just about killed him. Except for that, it wasn't too bad." Baki cocked an eyebrow. "You were not in love?" "I thought I was. I didn't say I wasn't in love, I just said I didn't expect Sir Able to marry me. He was a knight, and I'm a peasant girl. Or I was then. "I asked about him everywhere I went, but it was years before I struck his trail, north along the War Way with a squire and a war horse and the rest of it. Sometimes at inns and where they'd stopped the people mentioned a manservant, too." Ulfa fell silent; to start her again, Toug said, "Pouk." "Yes, and I was interested in that because I was hoping Sir Able would hire me. I was a servant or a barmaid when my money ran low. He knew me, it seemed to me he'd liked me, and a servanta woman who was willing to work and willing at night, too, you know what I meanmight be able to find out what he'd done with you." She smiled again, bitterly. "I used to imagine you starving in a dungeon. You're thin, but I wouldn't call you starved. What did he do with you, anyhow?" "I don't think we ought to get into that right now." Baki said, "What we must do right nowso I thinkis tell each other exactly what we want most. What each hopes to do. I am going to make a rule, that each of us must name one thing and one only, the one thing that concerns" Toug said, "Won't they all be different?" "I am coming to that. Before we name it, every one of us must swear we will help the others. I will help you and Toug, Ulfa. But you must help me, and not Toug alone. Toug must swear to help us both." Ulfa said, "I don't know about swearing," and meant that she was not sure whether she should swear or not. Baki interpreted it as she chose. "I do. Each of us will swear by those over us whose claim to our allegiance is sanctioned by the Highest God. Hold up your hand, Toug." Toug raised his right hand. "Repeat this after I say it. 'I, Toug, as I am a squire and a true man, do swear by those who are in Skai' . . ." "I, Toug" Something took Toug by the throat, but he gulped and pressed on, his voice stronger and stronger at each word. "As I'm a squire and a true man, do swear by those who are in Skai." " 'By the Valfather and all his sons, I swear, and by the Lady whose name may not be spoken.'" "By the Valfather and all his sons, I swear." For a moment it seemed to Toug that Sir Able had drawn Eterne; tall figures stood in the corners of the room, gleaming shades of dust and firelight; and he felt their eyes upon him. Ulfa said, "Well? Are you going to swear or not?" "And by the Lady whose name may not be spoken." By some small miracle, the draft from the window bore a faint perfumethe scent of lilacs far away. " 'That all that lies in my power shall be done for my sister Ulfa and my worshipper Baki, that they may achieve their hearts' desires.'" Baki smiled as she spoke. Toug saw her teeth as clearly as he had ever seen Mani's, and the yellow gleam of her eyes. "That all that lies in my power," he repeated, "shall be done for my sister Ulfa ..." Ulfa smiled too, and her smile warmed him as much as the fire she fed; the shadowy watchers were gone. "And my worshipper Baki, that they may achieve their hearts' desires." "Your worshipper Baki?" Ulfa asked. "Because I cured her," Toug explained hastily. "Now it is your turn, Ulfa. Shall I repeat it?" Ulfa shook her head. "I, Ulfa, as I am by rights a free peasant of Glennidam, do swear by those that are in Skai" "By the Lady now," Baki whispered urgently. "By the Lady whose name may not be spoken." "As by the Valfather . . ." "As also by the Valfather and his sons, that all that lies in my power shall be done for my brother Toug and his worshipper" "You must say 'my worshipper,' " Baki whispered urgently. "I didn't heal you!" Baki sighed. "Begin again." Ulfa looked to Toug, who nodded urgently. "If I've got to," she said. "I, Ulfa, as I am by rights a free peasant of Glennidam, though at present a slave of King Gilling's, swear by those who are in Skai, by the Lady who mustn't be named, and by the Valfather and his sons, that all that lies in my power shall be done for my brother Toug and my worshipper Baki, in order that they may achieve their hearts' desires. Will that do it?" "It will. I, Baki, as I am a true Aelf of the fire" Ulfa gasped. "Do swear by those who are in Mythgarthr, by Toug and by Ulfa, and if he excuse the impertinence by Sir Able himself, that all in my power shall be done for these sublime spirits of Mythgarthr Toug and Ulfa, that they may achieve their desire. So swear I, Baki, who does by this oath and others renounce the false and deceitful worship of Setr forever." Ulfa stared. Toug said, "Who's Setr?" "Of that we shall speak presently. First we must name the one thing we most desire. You swore first, and thus should speak first. Or so I feel. Will you dispute it?" Toug said, "Well, we were going to look for Mani. . . ." "For this woman's husband, too," Baki said. "For Pouk. But finding neither can be your heart's desire, surely. Your heart is larger than that." "I need time to think." Ulfa said, "Are you really an Aelfmaiden?" "Of the Fire Aelf. Would you see it?" Ulfa nodded. A moment later, she caught her breath. looked up. "What is it?" Ulfa was on her knees. "You have seen more," Baki told him. She helped Ulfa rise. "It was very wrong, what you were doing. I am greatly honored, but honors one does not deserve are only crimes by another name. In my heart I kneel to you." "II . . ." "Have no need to speak, unless you will speak first. Will you? Or is your brother ready?" "I'm not," Toug said. "I didn't know." Ulfa gulped. "My old gown. It's not even fit to wear." "But I wear it proudly," Baki told her, "and believe we shall have better by and by." Ulfa gulped again, and bowed her head. "Now we will have your heart's desire. Please. Name it. Toug and I have sworn to do all we can to help you." "We just want to get out of here." Ulfa spoke so softly Toug scarcely heard her. "Pouk and me. We want go back to Glennidam. Or anywhere. Help us to get out, both of us." "We will," Baki told her. "Toug? Your desire?" "This isn't it." Toug tried to keep his voice steady. "I have to say something else first." "Then do so." "I want to be a knight. Not just a regular knight. It would be wonderful to be a regular knight like Sir Garvaon or Sir Svon. But what I truly wantthis isn't my heart's desire, not yetis to be a knight like Sir Able. I want to be a knight that would jump on the dragon's back." Neither woman spoke, although Ulfa raised her head to look at him. "I'm a squire now." Toug squared his shoulders. "I really am, Ulfa, and probably I'll be a knight sooner or later unless I get killed. So I have to learn fast. I know that if I wait 'til I'm a knight and try to be like Sir Able then, it won't work. I have to start before I'm knighted." Baki's voice was just above a whisper. "Even so things may go awry, Lord." "I know. But if I don't start now, they won't ever go right. Well, Lord Beel and Sir Svon want me to get King Gilling to let them in here, into Utgard, so Lord Beel can be a real ambassador like our king wants. So that's my heart's desire. I want to do my duty." "Bravo!" exclaimed a new voice. Mani was seated on the gray stone windowsill, as black and shiny as the best-kept

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