They Don't Teach Corporate in College (39 page)

John, 24, Pennsylvania

During my tenure in the business world, I've seen people try all sorts of tactics, from bribery to temper tantrums, to get others to do what they want. Some use their power or position to force lower-ranking staff to comply. In today's fast-paced business culture, many middle managers are too harried and apathetic to stop and consider the best way to encourage true cooperation. In his book
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
, Stephen Covey outlines a
number of approaches that individuals use when trying to get something from another person. Covey categorizes these approaches as Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Win, Lose/Lose, and Win. Let me further explain:

Win/Win
(“I love you, you love me”): The attitude that a mutually beneficial solution is the best solution because everyone feels good, and one person's success is not achieved at the expense of another.

Win/Lose
(“I get my way, you don't get yours”): The attitude that someone else has to lose in order for you to win, as in football games and lawsuits.

Lose/Win
(“Go ahead, have your way with me. Everyone else does”): The attitude of people who are quick to please or appease, repressing their true feelings and seeking strength from popularity or acceptance.

Lose/Lose
(“I'm going to win or die trying”): The thinking that results when two Win/Lose people become stubborn, vindictive, and blind to everything except their desire for the other person to lose.

Win
(“Do what you need to do; I can't be bothered”): The attitude that it doesn't matter whether the other person wins or loses, as long as you get what you want.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that every interaction in the cutthroat world of business has to be Win/Lose. But because you work with the same colleagues every day, this attitude (and the manipulation and coercion tactics that often go with it) can cost you big time. Before you know it, your work relationships will have soured, and your professional persona will be seriously tarnished. In most cases, you'll be more effective at eliciting your colleagues' cooperation and, ultimately, getting what you want, if you make Win/Win your personal philosophy.

Win/Win outcomes are easier to achieve when you proactively consider ways that the other person can benefit from cooperating with you. That said, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is to enter a negotiation by expressly stating what you want. You might have heard the story of the salesman who greets a prospect by announcing, “I want to tell you about a great new product that has a thousand new features, all for the low price of….” The prospect stops listening as soon as she hears the words
I want
and slams the door in the salesman's face. If you're going to remember anything from this section, remember this: Other people don't care what you want. They want to know
what's in it for them. As the initiator of a negotiation, you have to assume that although you may be looking for the Win/Win, the other person is interested only in the Win. Need her cooperation? Make her want to do what you are asking.

How do you do this? First, examine the situation from her point of view and determine her priorities. Then, in your initial approach, talk about what she wants and how your proposal can help her get it. Here's an example of this strategy in action: A former job of mine was to coordinate press interviews between executives and journalists. One afternoon, I had to persuade a high-level sales executive to postpone a visit with a client and spend an hour talking with a journalist on deadline. However, I understood that the sales executive wanted to spend his time closing deals, not chatting it up with someone who couldn't pay him. So I approached my request this way:

“You mentioned that we sometimes lose deals because we can't demonstrate to potential clients how our products are covered in the press. Here is our chance to change that. Ordinarily I wouldn't ask you to move your meeting, but the client is available for lunch on Friday. The article with your interview will have appeared online by then. Why don't I get you a copy to show him?”

In this way, the sales executive saw how talking with the journalist could help him get what he wanted: more closed deals. He realized that spending an hour now would pay huge publicity dividends later on, and that it might even help persuade the client he planned on visiting that week. I got my interview done on time, and the sales executive met the client for lunch armed with an extra weapon. Win/Win!

It doesn't matter if the other person actually wins by cooperating with you, as long as she feels like she's winning. For instance, you can frequently achieve a positive outcome by appealing to a person's moral code. In his book
How to Win Friends and Influence People
, motivational guru Dale Carnegie claims that people like to feel as though they are doing the proper, unselfish thing. If your proposal will make the other person feel good about herself, she'll be more inclined to cooperate. To take the last example one step further, suppose the sales executive needed a bit more convincing to change his schedule and meet with the journalist. I could have played to his desire to do what's best for the company with the following response:

“Our company has gotten some undeservedly negative press lately, and we're lucky to be in a position to counter it with some positive messages of
our own. When unflattering articles appear, our stock goes down. But when spokespeople like you get out there and talk with the media about the good things we're doing, the reverse happens!”

Win/Win scenarios are usually within reach when you take the time to think about what you're asking of someone and how you're going to ask it. Imagine yourself in the other person's position and treat her as you would want to be treated under the same circumstances. Keeping in mind that the end goal is cooperation, remove your ego from the situation and don't insist that people do things your way. Your colleagues will be more likely to pursue a project if they have a say in how it's done, so instead of bullying them into following your lead, outline what you need and ask for feedback on the best way to accomplish it. After all, if the work gets done and everyone is happy about it, it's a Win/Win regardless of how you arrived there.

In a business world of shrinking hierarchies and individual contributors, one of the toughest challenges for the twenty-something high achiever is leading projects without authority. In my years in the workforce, I've been responsible for several large, multi-departmental initiatives with no direct reports to engage. In addition to Covey's Win/Win approach, here are some strategies from the trenches.

Let your passion shine through.
It's hard to be critical of someone earnest, and if you infuse your communication with a genuine sense of excitement about the challenge ahead, your colleagues will naturally want to follow your lead. Show them—through your behavior—why you got into this field in the first place, and what your experiences (good and bad) have shown you about what needs to be done next.

Appear humble.
It's bad enough when your boss has an ego that needs some serious downsizing, but it's even less appealing when someone without power thinks too highly of himself. The manner and content of your communication must demonstrate that you are pursuing this approach because it's the right thing to do for the organization, not because you will receive personal credit or rewards.