Through The Lens (13 page)

Unable to change his
mind because I already apologized, I frantically, worked to try and finish my
vase sketch before I had to turn it in for this week’s project.  I was not the
first to leave when the bell rang.  When I looked up, however, I was dismayed
at the lack of Ethan.  I wanted to talk to him again, thinking that it would be
awkward with Allie later if we didn’t settle things.  But he was gone.
Gathering my supplies and putting things back, I handed my sketch to Mr.
Miller.

“Nice job, Jessica,”
Mr. Miller said.

It was weird to have my
given name be said.  Everyone called me Jessa including all my other teachers
and my parents. “It’s Jessa,” I said.

His warm smile let me
see just what the girls were saying about him.  He was cute for an old guy.  I
guess I should say older.  He was only a few years older than we were if the
grapevine held any truth.  He was like twenty-five or something like that. 
“Jessa, then.  You will come for Yearbook Club on Monday, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure,” I said
before walking out.  Ethan was in the club, I suspected because he’d hung
around after class Monday.  Maybe he wouldn’t be able to avoid me anymore.

After reasoning with Jenna, I kept our
car and dropped her off.  She was staying with friends overnight to do
cheerleading business, something about making spirit posters for the away game
tomorrow. Josh would be picking me up later, but now, I could go see Allie at
Ethan’s on my own terms, using my half of the car for the first time in many
moons.

Parking in the
driveway, I walked the short distance to the door.  Ringing the bell was odd. 
The one time I’d done it before, things had ended so badly.  However, I was
invited.  Allie had texted me to drop by.

The door opened, and I
was immediately enveloped, then crushed in a hug. A shrill of happiness escaped
Allie that let me know she was happy to see me.  She bounced like we were the
best of friends, and it felt that way when I was with her.

“I’ve missed you,” she
crooned.

Patting her back, I
said, “Me, too.”  And I meant it wholeheartedly.

Over Allie’s shoulder,
I saw Ethan standing in the hall as if he wasn’t sure what to do.  She pulled
back and surveyed me.  “So school started; do tell me all the gossip.”

Laughing, I said
walking in, “But you don’t know anybody.”

An exhale of breath,
and she said, “I know.  But I don’t get to go to school.  I live through you
and Ethan.”

“Why don’t you get to
go to school,” I asked, puzzled.

Sighing, she said,
“With shooting all week, all of us that haven’t graduated are required to have
tutors.  There is no time to actually go to school.”

“Oh,” I said, genuinely
amazed by the life of a celebrity.

“Okay now, tell me,”
she begged, pulling me down the hall.

“Well,” I said,
playfully.  “There was this new guy that had all the girls talking.”  I looked
at Ethan and hoped this might break the tension between us.  He just smirked
when Allie turned to glance at him.  She shook her head knowing him better than
I.

When I realized what I
was saying to his girlfriend, I tried to think of something to backtrack my
comment.  “And we have this really cute new teacher.”

“I know,” she said, not
sounding the least bit miffed. “Ethan told me Mr. Miller is there now.”

That was odd. “You know
Mr. Miller?” I said.

“Of course.  He taught
at our old school like two years ago.  Then he went somewhere else and now he’s
at your school.  I hear he’s in high demand.”

We made our way to the
sole couch.  Ethan was at one end, and I was at the other.  Allie was sitting
in between.  Turning my way giving Ethan her back, she said conspiratorially,
“Now tell me about all the hot guys.”

Ethan put his hands
around her waist drawing her close. “Hey now, I’m the only hot guy that
matters.”  He tickled her, and I hated myself for being jealous.  He’d tickled
me, too.  I stuffed that jealousy back and beat it with a stick.  He’s just a
friend, semi-friend or maybe just somewhat of a friend.  And there closeness
reminded me just how close he’d been with Lucy.  Should I say something?  Then
I remembered, I had no proof of anything.  What if I did say something and
nothing was going on expect Lucy trying to sink her teeth in the new guy? 

She laughed and I
pulled out my camera which had been slung over my shoulder like a purse.  I
needed to distract myself.  I snapped photo after photo until they were now
paying more attention to the camera and posing on purpose. 

“I should leave you
guys,” I said, while packing away my camera.  I hadn’t planned to stay long. 

“You just got here,”
Allie pouted.

“Actually, I have plans
tonight.  But I really wanted to stop by and see you.  You left with that whole
paparazzi thing, and I haven’t spoken to you.  I did try to call.”

She rolled her eyes,
but it wasn’t for me. “Yeah, that was a whole mess.  My agent thought it was
best that I get a new number just in case.”

“You don’t think I had
something to do with that, do you?” I asked because it had been a legitimate
worry for me.

Shaking her head, she
said, “Oh no, it was bound to happen.”  She dismissed that thought with a wave
of her hand.  “And don’t think you get off that easy.”  Her back was against
Ethan’s chest as he stroked her arm in a soothing gesture. “What plans do you
have tonight?” she said, lifting her eyebrows in question.

“I have a date,” I
announced.  I couldn’t help myself from looking at Ethan, too, for his
response.  Allie’s eyes went all wide in happiness.  Ethan’s eyes narrowed, and
he frowned for a second before he caught me looking and changed to a look of
impassiveness.

“Do tell,” she said,
sounding like a reporter about to get her hands on a juicy story.

“It’s this guy I’ve had
a crush on for like forever,” I said, unsure why I needed to point that out.

“Name? Stats?” she
questioned.

“Josh Macon, hottie,
tall, dark hair, intense eyes like pools of chocolate.”

“Oh, he sounds yummy.”
Her voice sounded like a song as she uttered the short vowel sound for “oh.”
“Have fun.  But hey, do you want to hang tomorrow? I need to go shopping and
thought you’d make better company.”

I narrowed my eyes and
teased, “Are you just using me for girl stuff?”

“Of course, but
honestly if I didn’t like you, I’d just drag Ethan with me.” We giggled. “I’ll
text you the time.  I want details,” she said a little louder as I made my way
to the door.

In the car on the way
home, I thought about the fact that Ethan hadn’t said two words to me.

Back in the confines of
my room, I’d replayed the events and wondered just what I’d have to do to break
this tension between Ethan and me.  I stared into the mirror at my reflection. 
It still seemed weird to look at myself.  I wore a summer dress with thin straps
and more back showing than I’d dared before.  I didn’t look like the Pillsbury
Dough Girl anymore, and as weird as it sounds, the girl in the mirror didn’t
seem like me because of it.

The dress was pale blue
in color and seemed to bring life to my hair and eyes, at least that is what my
Mom said on one of her impromptu shopping trips a few weeks back.  When the
doorbell rang, I didn’t need to look at the time to know it was eight.  Josh
was known to be prompt.

Picking up the little
crossbody purse that was just big enough to carry my phone, cash, and house
key, I headed downstairs.  My Mom was at the door, but Dad was nowhere in
sight.  They knew Josh.  He and my sister ran in the same circle for years.  So
he’d been over a time or two.

They both turned and
looked at me with open mouths.  I immediately stopped my descent on the narrow
stairway and looked down over myself.

“Oh, honey,” my Mom
said.  I snapped my attention to her with pleading eyes that she wouldn’t
embarrass me by announcing my flaw or whatever they saw that had them gaping. 
“No, silly,” she said, reading my expression. “You look lovely.”

Josh, not wanting to be
outdone, stepped in the house and said, “You do look beautiful, Jessa.”

Smiling, I finished my
descent to the landing where Josh met me.  With a proffered hand, he held a
small bouquet of wild flowers.  Now it was my turn to display lockjaw.  What
guy brought a girl flowers these days?

My Mom was timely and
came over to take them from my hand.  “I’ll put these in water.  They are pretty.”

I nodded, still looking
at Josh as if seeing him for the first time.  It was the kind of thing I’d
never forget in my life.  My very first date was with a guy I really liked. 
And to top it off, he’d brought me flowers.

Holding out his hand to
me, I took it in mine.  He walked me out of the house, saying goodbye to my
mother as I took it all in.  His Jeep was parked at the curb.  Thankfully, it
had all of its doors and roof for once.  Although it was several years old, its
black exterior gleamed like new as if he’d washed it for our date.

“I thought we’d go to
Rio,” he said.  I nodded in agreement.  The Rio was a hangout spot that held it
all just north of our town.  It had shops, restaurants in all varieties, coffee
and an ice shop, movies, a pond to walk around, and a few rides like a
carousel.  Going there said a lot about Josh and what he thought of me.  Not
only was he giving us lots of options, he’d wanted to be seen with me.  Most of
his friends and half the school would be there tonight.  The football game was
tomorrow, and it was an away game.  Tonight would be fun for all, hyped up in
anticipation of the first game of the season.

This indeed would be a
night of wonders.  “Do you want to see a movie?” he asked on the ride over.

“Sure,” I said.  This,
I thought, would be a good ice breaker.  Although we’ve known each other most
of our lives, we weren’t really friends before.  I had no idea how or what to
talk to him about.  A nervous flutter crossed my belly.  This was Josh, I told
myself.  It would be fine.

As we made our way to
the ticket booth after finding parking, I ran into my sister.

“Oh my god, you’re
here,” Jenna crooned, looking happy to see me.  But I saw underneath her mask
of a smile.  She didn’t act like she was shocked to see me, nor did she say she
was glad to see me.  She’d been in a group of her friends all paired.  Pulling
Billy along, she came over to me.  I wanted to ask her what happened to
spending the night with friends.  What was she up to, and why was she with
Billy?  It wasn’t like Mom and Dad didn’t know about her long-term
relationship.  So if he hadn’t come to pick her up, she was hiding something. 
Looking at her, I saw the flash of panic.  Oh, we would talk, but I wouldn’t do
it here and now.

Hugging me first, then
Josh, she looked at the two of us.   I know she wanted to ask about when I
decided to go out with him.  I’d forgotten to tell her because I’d been so
worried about meeting Ethan and getting the car it didn’t come up.  So we both
had secrets I guessed.

Billy chimed in.  He
was a transplant to our town, his native Tennessee accent was thick when he
said, “What are y’all going to see?”

Shrugging, Josh said,
“Not sure yet.  How about you?” He’d expertly tugged me to his side and put his
hand around my waist.  There it was again.  I felt like I was his in his half
embrace.  And it felt good to be wanted.

Billy rolled his eyes
and pointed to one of the framed movie posters.  It was a movie about a major
holiday that was star-studded and promised to be a romantic comedy.  Josh
shuddered.  Jenna slapped playfully at them both.  One of Jenna’s friends
called out to her. 

She said, “Well, our
movie is starting.  Hope to see you guys in there.” She added that last bit
with a wink at Josh.  She was teasing him about whether or not I could get him
in there like she’d done with Billy.

Surprisingly, Josh said
to me after her departure, “Do you want to see that one?”

It was my turn to
shudder, and he laughed.

We settled on a horror
flick.  I wasn’t one for an action movie with shoot-’em-up gunslingers unless
it was a superhero movie, and he wasn’t for romance movies.  Horror was somehow
the middle ground.

Horror movies had their
purpose.  While watching you could find yourself wrapped up in the hot piece of
arm candy you were with.  So if you didn’t want to end up there with your date,
stay clear of this type of movie.  And this scary flick indeed had me on the
verge of a shrill scream.   With my head on Josh’s chest, I knew he wasn’t
immune to the fearscape for his heart raced as much as mine.

Having our fill of
popcorn, I’d turned down his offer of dinner.  It was kind of late for that. 
“How about some ice cream?”

For someone who had
been dieting, I found myself saying “Yes,” far too easily.

The shop was on the
verge of closing, and the girl behind the counter didn’t seem at all happy
about serving us when she’d been ready to lock the doors.  Even Josh’s charm
didn’t take the scowl off her face.  But we walked away with cones in hand.