Through The Lens (17 page)

Wiping at tears, I
headed out of the room.  I did knock, but then I barreled inside Jenna’s room. 
“Jennifer Kelly SHELBY, what were you up to this weekend?”

Lucky for her, she
didn’t look contrite.  “Look, let me explain.”

“Are you and Billy
having sex?” I asked.  My voice was low, but my meaning was harsh.

She paled. “No, of
course not,” she said.

“Then what the hell?”

“You know Mom and Dad
and their curfew.  I just wanted to hang out late.  I swear Billy took me to
Kara’s later.  We didn’t go all the way okay.”

I stared at her and her
confession.  I wasn’t sure if I totally believed her.  I didn’t think she had
sex, but there was more to it. “Is he putting pressure on you?”  I may not know
a lot about relationships, but I did know that sex was a big deal.  And I really
did believe that the right guy would wait until you were ready.

“It’s not like he
hasn’t tried.  What guy wouldn’t?” she exclaimed. I didn’t like her tone and
was about to speak but she cut me off. “Still he respects me and said he’d
wait.”

“Don’t do anything you
don’t want to,” I said before hugging my sister. “And don’t be stupid. Staying
out late with him might give him the wrong ideas.”

“He’d never push me to
do anything. I swear.”  She knew her boyfriend better than I. “And what’s up
with you and Josh?” she said, waggling her eyebrows at me. If I hadn’t gotten
enough advice already, I still told her about our date. “He didn’t kiss you?”

Groaning, I collapsed
on her bed. “It was the kiss-off, wasn’t it?”

“No, not necessarily. 
Maybe he just wants to take it slow,” she said.

“Tell me, have you
heard Josh being slow with other girls?”  She would know.  He dated another
girl in their circle a couple of years ago. 

She bit her lip like
she had bad news for me. “Well, no, actually he moved quite fast which caused
their breakup.”

My hand found my
forehead.  My dating life wasn’t only getting to a late start, it looked like
it would stall before it ever took flight.  “Oh well,” I said, getting to my
feet.

Before I got out the
door, Jenna said, “I’ll talk to him.”

“Please don’t,” I
said.  Jenna nodded, and I left for my room. 

My brother was in the
hallway coming from the bathroom.  He proceeded to flash me.  Lucky for me I
was used to his antics and had my eyes closed and covered before the towel left
his waist.  “You are such a dork.”

My brother had my hands
in his as he laughed.  I opened my eyes to see he was fully dressed from the
waist down.  “You fall for it every time,” he said.

Rolling my eyes, I
hated and loved all my family at the same time.  I wouldn’t know what to do
without them.

Monday came as all
Mondays do during the school year with a groan, a muffled grunt, a sigh, and
resignation.  Despite it all, we made it to school in peace even though Jenna
and I were yelling at Kyle before we made it to the parking lot.  He liked to
tease, and he was merciless this morning.

Grumpy, I made it to
lunch without biting anyone’s head off.  I was sitting in my normal seat when
Bradley, Madison and Josh showed up at my table all at the same time.  Bradley
and Madison sat and tried not to pay attention to Josh and me, which only ended
up making things feel weirder.

Josh straddled the seat
and looked at me.   “I thought you’d sit with me at lunch today,” he said.

I blinked. Were we all
wrong, or was this just part of his master plan?  I had to stop myself from
being so cynical.  “Um, I promised Madison I’d sit with her,” I said and gave
her a quick look.  She averted her eyes, and I wanted to yell
traitor
.

“Okay, but your friends
are always welcome to join us,” he said, getting up.

I nodded, and he leaned
over and kissed my cheek again.  After he’d made it to his table, I growled,
“What the hell is up with this cheek kissing?”  Was I being a little
irrational?  Maybe, but it felt more friend-like. 

Madison looked like she
had a lot to say, but Bradley beat her to the punch. “Did you really want him
to put his tongue down your throat for the first time here in the lunchroom?”

Give it to Bradley to
cut to the chase. “Okay,” I said biting into my mystery sandwich.  It tasted
good though.

The day was brutal. 
Teachers seemed to be just as mad the weekend was over as we were.  I hadn’t
thought about Ethan much all day except during Law.  But even there, what we
were learning was so interesting that I found myself thinking about majoring in
pre-Law.

Coming face-to-face
with Ethan at the end of the day, I was struck again at the sight of him.

“Are you staying for
Yearbook Club?” he asked.

Crud, I’d forgotten all
about my promise to Mr. Miller.  “I don’t have a ride,” I said, searching for
an excuse. 

“I can take you home. 
Unless you’re afraid of me,” he challenged.

“I’m not,” I said.

Mr. Miller stepped into
class.  Ethan continued to wait for my response.  So I nodded to him before
class started.  We worked in charcoal today.  It was messy for sure.  By the
time class ended, I was covered in it. 

After Mr. Miller ended
class, he said he would be back in ten minutes for the Yearbook meeting.  Ethan
looked up at me. “You look like you’re ready for football practice.”

Sighing, imagining the
black lines under my eyes, I asked, “It’s all over me, isn’t it?”

Smirking, he said, “Um,
yes.”

Standing, I said, “I
guess, I should go wipe it off unless you want me to get you dirty,” I said,
waggling my fingers at him. 

Stepping back, he
laughed, and it was a good sound.  Somehow we’d found our way back to easy
banter. Walking in the direction of the door, Ethan called out, “Wait.”

Turning, I saw him
standing in front of a wall with pictures tacked to it.  The closer I got, I
realized they were the sketches we turned in on Friday.  “Is this yours?” he
asked.

Mortified, I quietly
said, “Yes.”

He chuckled and turned
his head this way and that as if to figure out if the picture was askew. “Very
funny,” I said. “You don’t like my pansy? I said, feeling bold from
embarrassment.

“Just because your
boyfriend didn’t kiss you, you shouldn’t call him names. I swatted at him.  He
ducked and laughed. “You know you opened yourself up for one,” he said.

“I’d like you to know I
worked very hard on this masterpiece,” I said, not wanting to talk about Josh. 
However, I was laughing hard myself before I finished my sentence.

Then my field of vision
landed on the eye I thought I’d seen from his sketchbook. “Is this yours?”

His smile slipped
slightly, but he nodded.  Stepping forward to look at it directly, I thought
about how no matter where you stood, the eye was never angled to see the
viewer. Next to it was a depiction of an ear.  A few musical notes danced on
the border of the page, but I had this weird feeling.  “Yours, too?”  He nodded
again.  The only conclusion was that the ear didn’t hear.  My eyes moved over
to the next sketch.  I’d expected a mouth to round out the trio, instead it was
a bird.  The wings were at the bird’s side, yet the feet were angled just
slightly.  It looked as though it was about to fly away,” Was he saying with
his art that someone wasn’t seeing or hearing him before they left?  It was a
lonely trio of pictures.

His reaction held the
barest of smiles.  “You should go wash up before the meeting.”

Wanting to lighten the
mood, I asked, “How come I’m the only messy one?” I asked, wiggling my fingers.

Smiling with more lift
to the eye, he said, “I’m a professional.”  He held out his fingers, which held
no charcoal at all.

Making my way to the
bathroom and working desperately to remove the smudges, I did the best I could
before making it back.  I was a little late.

“Nice of you to join
us, Miss Shelby,” Mr. Miller said.  “I’m breaking you guys up into pairs. In
this hat,” he said, holding out a baseball cap turned upside down, “there are
the assignments for getting pictures and information for the yearbook.  Miss
Shelby, you and Ethan can work together since you two know each other well.”

Mr. Miller passed the
hat along to each pair.  Apparently, that had been done while I was washing the
grime away.  I let Ethan take a strip of paper. “Debate Team,” he said.

His look and his
monochromatic tone had me bursting out into giggles. Mr. Miller said, “For your
information Mr. Hart, the Debate Team can be a lively group.”

And he was right.  When
we made it to the classroom, the group of straitlaced and stern-faced people
were arguing about what to argue.  With a borrowed camera from class, we took a
few pictures of the fight in progress.  For that, we got a door slammed in our
face before we could announce ourselves.  Ethan and I just laughed some more.

“What are we going to
do?” I asked, barely getting the words out between giggles.

Ethan wiped at his
eyes, like he laughed so hard until he teared up. Shrugging, he said, “I don’t
know, but failure can’t be good.”

For a second, I bit my
lip, thinking I didn’t want to be paired up with anyone else.  From around the
corner the clicking on the tile floor and a look on Ethan’s face gave a clue
who was walking in the empty halls.  Even still, I was shocked when Josh
rounded the corner in full football gear.

“Ethan,” he said,
walking up and knocked fists with him as a guy.  “Jessa,” he said, bending down
and placing a soft kiss on my lips, before wrapping a possessive arm around my
shoulder.  My eyes widened, and he smiled before standing straight.  “What are
you guys up to?”

When Ethan didn’t
answer, I said, “Yearbook.”

Josh shook his head,
“You are wasting talents, my man. I heard all about your exploits last year as
quarterback.”

Ethan tilted his head.
“Retired.  Don’t you have practice?” he asked.

Josh looked at me, then
said, “I forgot my mouth gear in my locker.”

“Oh,” Ethan nodded.
“That can be important if you’re attached to having all your teeth.”

Josh said, “Yep, I’m
already late. So I’ll talk to you guys later.  Jessa, I’ll call you.” And he
kissed me again.

Now it was my turn to
nod as Josh walked away. I stood thinking for a second.  Three times I’d been
kissed, and I hadn’t expected it any of them.

Ethan’s expression held
amusement.

“What,” I asked.

“Nothing, why do you
look confused?”

I shook my head. “It’s
just that he kissed me.”

He looked puzzled.
“Isn’t that what guys do to their girlfriends?” he asked, like he was unsure
what planet I was from.

“I’m not his
girlfriend,” I said.  “At least I don’t think so.  We only went out once, and I
told you all about it.” I added hesitantly.

“Oh, the kiss on the
cheek?”  I nodded. He said, “I guess, he was staking a claim for my benefit.”

Frowning, I said, “He
isn’t a pioneer, and this isn’t the Wild West.  And I’m not a piece of luggage
waiting in baggage claim.”  Frustrated, I mixed my metaphors, but I was so
angry.  He wouldn’t kiss me in private, but in public he kissed me so he could
beat his chest like some Neanderthal marking me as his property for the taking.

“When it comes to a hot
girl you’re interested in, it’s best to mark your territory.”  He just simply
walked away after saying that, leaving me openmouthed and a little breathless. 
Was Ethan interested in me?  First the kiss, and now this comment.  He couldn’t
be.  He had Allie.

It turned out to be a strange week. 
Josh spent half his time sitting with me and my friends, and the other with
his.  We held hands in the halls if he walked me to class.  He kissed me
spontaneously when I least expected it.  Without a word, I’d become his
girlfriend.  At least that’s what others called me in front of him, and he
never bothered to correct them.

Ethan and I, although
on better terms, still didn’t talk much.  In fact, I nearly jumped out of my
skin on Friday during our last class.

“We’re still on
tonight,” he said, out of the blue.  I’d rashly asked him to hang out with me
and my friends tonight.  He’d accepted.

The two other girls at
our table looked up, no doubt soaking up the gossip.  News of me dating Josh
was big business.  Overhearing what they heard would be a worthy rumor.  “Yeah,
we all are still getting together.  Josh won’t be able to come, seeing he has a
game tonight,” I said, poignantly.

Ethan smiled, knowing
what I was doing.  Rumors would still come, they always did.  I could only hope
I minimized the damage.

After school, I spent
an hour gathering snacks and setting up the living room like I hadn’t done in
the past.  When Madison and Bradley showed up, they were more than amused.