Through The Lens (18 page)

“Are you sure he’s just
a friend?” Bradley teased.

Rolling my eyes, I
didn’t bother to answer him.  “Leave her alone, babe,” Madison said.  Babe? 
When had that happened, I wondered. 

“I’m just teasing her,”
he said, wrapping his arm around her waist.  He stared into her eyes like she
was the means of his last breath.  I couldn’t help the bit of envy that filled
my belly. 

Pushing passed them
with a bowl of chips in my hand, I was grateful I asked Ethan to come so I
wouldn’t be the third wheel. Laying the bowl on the coffee table, the doorbell
rang.  Thankfully, my Mom and Dad were having a ‘date night’.  Jenna and Kyle
were both at the football game, so I was reasonably assured that Ethan was at
the door.

“Hi,” I said, seeing
him standing on my doorstep.  Stepping back, I let him into my house.  He stood
for a second when I remember the last time he’d come to my door, I’d shut it in
his face. 

Gesturing him in, I
said, “My parents and siblings aren’t home.” I wasn’t sure why I added that,
but it was done.

Madison and Bradley
came out of the kitchen and introduced themselves.  Settling in the living
room, Bradley and Madison surrounded themselves in each other by sitting in a
one-person leather chair.  It was, however, big enough for approximately
one-and-a-half persons, so it worked out.  I was reminded why I was glad Ethan
was here.  This show of affection would have been so awkward for me if this had
been a threesome.

Holding up three DVDs,
Bradley said, “I raided my parents’ eighties collection, and this is what we
have. 
Die Hard
,
Sixteen Candles,
or
Breakfast Club
.”

“I don’t want to jump
to conclusions, so tell me a little about the other two,” Ethan announced.

Bradley answered, “
Sixteen
Candles
is a girly flick, but there is a wild party and talk of sex.”
Ethan’s eyebrows raised as if in interest.  “
Breakfast Club
is about a
group who have to spend a Saturday in detention.”

Madison chimed in. “My
vote is for
Sixteen Candles
.”

“Of course,” Bradley
said.

I really didn’t care
either way, but threw my support with Madison. “
Sixteen Candles
, then.”

“Hold up,” Bradley
said, with a hand in the air. “Ethan, what about you.”

Ethan looked at me,
then said, “I prefer
Die Hard
, but I’ll compromise with
Breakfast
Club
.”  Then he added, “Why the eighties anyway?”

“Madison works at the
movie theaters.  We’ve seen it all.  I found these in my parents’ movie
collection.  I dunno.  You have any better ideas?” Bradley said, with a shrug.

“It’s cool. I guess,”
Ethan said.

Turning to Madison, I
said, “Hey, it’s Ethan’s first time, let’s go with his choice.”

“
Die Hard
?”
Ethan asked hopefully.

“No,” Madison said a
little quickly. “I’ll go for
Breakfast Club
.”

Bradley moved quickly
while we were all in agreement and put the movie in.  Getting up off the floor,
I moved to turn out the lights.  Getting back, I sat on the opposite end of the
couch from Ethan.

When the movie was
over, Ethan smirked at me.  “Well, Princess, what’s next?” Ethan asked his eye
fixed on me.  Although, Ethan had his reasons for calling me Princess and not
all of them good, I was pretty sure this time he was referring to the movie. 
The Princess was the pretty popular girl all the guys wanted.  No, the only
thing I had in common with her was my virgin status.

“No, more like
basketcase,” I said, referring to the outsider girl in the movie who didn’t
seem to fit in with any group. Everyone laughed and a sparked a quick retort of
conversation. With his eyes still on me in a warm caress, I said, “Another
movie?” hoping to stop the way my heart raced from his stare.

Shrugging, Bradley took
charge and popped in another movie.

My parents came in when
we were on our third movie,
Die Hard.
I caught my father opening his
mouth to speak.  Probably to tell me it was late, but he caught sight of the
movie we were watching.  Soon enough, he was seated.  He watched the rest of
the movie with us through Bruce Willis saving the day.

As soon as the credits
started to roll, he said, “You know it’s getting late?”

Bradley said, “Madison,
I’ll take you home.”

Rolling her eyes, she
said, “I can drive myself.”

“I’ll feel better if
you let me take you,” he said.

Giving Ethan a little
headshake, he smirked at me while Bradley and Madison continued to quarrel all
the way outside.  Ethan and I followed, and we could hear them as she gave him
“I’m a woman hear me roar” speech.  It was all talk, because she’d left her car
parked in front of my house.  They were headed to his car as they fought.

Laughing, I said,
“Those two are crazy.”

“Your friends are
cool,” he said, adding, “Not the kind of night I’m used to.”

“And what kind of night
is that?” I asked quizzically.  And why did I open myself like that?

“The kind that involves
getting laid or lots of alcohol or both,” he laughed.

Wrapping my arm around
myself again reminded just how different we were, I said, “I think, you just
say stuff for shock value.”

“Princess, wouldn’t you
like to find out?”  His arm caught me as I started to move off, heading back in
the house.

Sputtering, I said,
“No, no, no.” Not really sure of why I was protesting except I could feel
myself wanting to fall for him when I knew I should.  He just continued to pull
me forward. “I believe you,” I said.

When we reached his
SUV, he said, “Up.”

The way he held his
hand out suggested he wanted me to climb on the roof. “Really, I believe you
are a total stud.  You don’t have to prove me wrong.”

Chuckling, he caged me
in with his arms. “As much as your pretty little mouth turns me on, I’m not
that guy.  I don’t poach.”

 Mentioning my mouth,
only made me notice his.  I shouldn’t be thinking about kissing him.  Looking
away, I said, “Me either.  Allie is my friend.”

“She’s my friend, too.
Now up.  I’m sure your father will come looking soon.”

Taking his hand, I let
him guide me onto the roof of the massive contraption. “Why are we up here?” I
asked, once he settled himself next to me.

“Watching movies with
you guys reminded me of something I haven’t done since I was a kid,” he said,
lying back.

Sitting, while he made
himself comfortable, I said, “And what is that?”

“Looking at the stars.”

It was a clear night. 
With no street lights, it felt like heaven was close.  I lay back and looked at
them myself.  Kyle had gotten a telescope one year for Christmas, and we all
spent a few days taking turns trying to see faraway things.  But lying here was
an all new experience.

“See there,” he
pointed.  “That’s the Little Dipper.”

“Yes,” I said in
wonder. Everyone knew what that looked like. He took it further showing me the
stars in a new light. The sky was brilliant, and we spent a good half hour
picking out shapes and constellations.

“Jessa,” my father
called out.  Ethan looked over at me, swiping a grin off his face.  He’d called
it that my Dad was going to clock me. “You should come in.”

His voice penetrated
the silence of our street.  “Yes, daddy.” I said.

When the door to the
house closed, Ethan sat up and helped me off the car. “This has been fun. 
Probably the most fun I’ve had in a while.”

Feeling like we’d
crossed the corner into a new friendship, I teased, “Better than getting laid?”

Choking, he said, “Not
hardly.  But it was cool.”

We stood with his back
to his car, my back to my front door.  Words disappeared as we stood awkwardly
looking at each other. “Night,” I finally said.

“Night,” he said.  And
I turned, going into the house before I said or did anything stupid. 

~~~

Panting and sweaty at
the top of the hill, I wasn’t disgusted by the dark stains under my arm pits. 
They were, in fact, badges of honor.  If not for the sweat, I wouldn’t know
that my run was doing its job.

Jogging in place,
trying not to let my heart rate slow too much, I lined up my shot.  Ethan had
given me another roll of black-and-white film.  And I’d greedily taken it.  In
such a short time, my camera had become my high of choice.  There was a freedom
in taking pictures.  This is why I had it with me on my morning run.  I hadn’t
given up running.  It was something I was compelled to do, and I felt
exhilarated after every triumph. 

With college applications
looming, I decided a photo journal of my journey might be a different twist on
the usual essay about myself.  The hill I stood atop of wasn’t Mount Everest by
any stretch of the imagination.  But after running three miles, running up for
any length of time was a challenge.  At approximately every mile, I took a
picture of what lay ahead of me.  Now at the peak, I was ready to take a
picture of my summit.  It would be all downhill for now.  But with the extra
weight of the camera on my back, I was going to head back towards home, cutting
this journey short.

In my mind, I saw the
pictures in black-and-white showing how things had come into focus.  How my
life had changed.  Running had, in fact, altered my future for the better.  I
wouldn’t have snagged Josh, met Allie and Ethan, for sure.  Despite Ethan’s
claims that it is inner beauty that matters, the truth also lay in the
physical.  And to be honest, I didn’t think any of them were that shallow.  I’d
gotten to know them well enough to be certain of that.  No, the problem was
me.  I’d been that shallow.  Closing the door on possibilities was my doing. 
I’d been the one ashamed of my weight.  Jenna had never tried to exclude me or
shove the word “diet” in my face.  Just the opposite.  She’d accepted me just
the way I was.  And her friends might have, too, if I’d ever given them the
chance.

So this was my
eye-opening experience.  I wasn’t skinny and never thought I would be nor
aspired to be.  But I was now comfortable in my own skin.  I had a long way to
go to know exactly what life would bring, but this was a start.  One day I
would come back and take color pictures of this journey to show all the
possibilities that life had to offer.

Stopping in place and
focusing my lens, I snapped off a few shots.

Noticing a speck in the
distance and a rumble that grew closer, I found myself at full stop, snapping
more photos as the motorcycle grew closer.  The sound reminded me of Ethan and
our time together.  He was becoming an important friend in my life.

When the bike reached
the bottom of the hill, I dropped my hands.  I didn’t want whoever it was to
think a creepy girl was standing around taking pictures.  In fact, I knelt to
pick up my backpack to secure the camera and ready myself for my run back home
when the bike came to a stop next to me.

There was no way to be
surprised at this point.  Unless the biker was some sort of serial killer who
preyed on runners early on a Saturday morning, my eyes were bound to lock with
Ethan’s.  With quick hands, I tucked everything away and stood.  Swinging my
pack around, I was ready to take off, just in case it was a creepy killer.

Looking like heaven,
there he was.  What made it hell was the girl locked around his waist.  Lucy
was wrapped around him like a koala bear did a tree.

“Jess, up early,” he
said.  His eyes raked over me.  Suddenly the sweat stains no longer felt like
trophies.

Lifting an eyebrow and
acknowledging the girl, maybe a bit stonily, I said, “Looks like you are,
too.”  Okay, it was an accusation.  But I was with him last night.  Had he been
waiting to leave movie night to have a sleepover with her?  That had to be it. 
They didn’t have an early date, and I knew the girl lived out this way past the
point where we stood.

As if I wasn’t standing
there with the rumble of the engine breaking the silence, Lucy said, “Some
girls have to work at perfecting their bodies.  At least she’s giving it her
best shot especially if she wants to keep Josh.”

Not a violent person by
nature, I had a mind to punch her right in her perfect nose.  My mouth,
however, had other ideas. “And some girls don’t have to work hard at all at
being a slut.”

Her mouth formed a
circle of contempt.  Ethan laughed and opened his own mouth to speak.  I held
out a hand to stop him. “Don’t bother.  I shouldn’t have said that.  It was
mean.  Anyway, I have to go.”

Not wanting to give the
girl a chance to say something that might have me in a YouTube video of girls
gone crazy, I beat feet down the hill a little too fast.  I almost stumbled,
but pride kept me upright.  They were no longer there, but with my luck, Ethan
would backtrack, and they would see me fall.  That would only give more
ammunition to the stupid girl.