Through The Lens (20 page)

Moving backwards, I
finally turned and made my way back to the bleachers and sat on the second
stair, fumbling my phone out of my pocket.  Thank goodness, I hadn’t brought a
purse that would have been left in Josh’s car.  Everything I needed, including
my house keys and my emergency cash, was on me.

Madison and Bradley
were out on a date, but surely they wouldn’t mind this interruption.  A few
touches of the screen, and the phone rang in my ear.  And it rang, and rang,
and rang until voice mail picked up.  A muttered curse, and I ended the call.

When I pressed the
phone to my ear a second time, I didn’t fare much better.  Bradley wasn’t
answering his phone either.  Maybe they went and saw a movie.  But that was
unlikely.  They did that while she was at work.

When I tried my luck
one more time, the phone rang three times, and I was about to hang up.  Tears
welled in my eyes.  The heartbreak that Josh could be such an ass hit me as my
predicament grew worse.  School was only a few miles away from my house.  I ran
several miles most days, so walking wouldn’t be a problem.  Thank goodness for
bowling and an early warning.  I was wearing Chucks, so my feet wouldn’t die if
I had to walk.  There was just no way I was calling my parents.  It wasn’t that
late, and my situation wasn’t that bad.  The neighborhood around school where I
had to walk was relatively safe.

“Hello,” the voice on
the other end said. Closing my eyes, I was unsure how my long shot option would
react.

My voice cracked more
than I hoped when I spoke.  The choked sob I’d been holding released. “Ethan.”

There was a lot of
noise and people talking in the background.  He was most definitely at a
party.  I wondered if he’d run into Josh.

“Hold a second. I can’t
hear you,” he said loudly.  I took a moment to let my hurt come out in the form
of more sobs while he couldn’t hear me. When the noise turned to a dull chatter
in the background, I sucked in a deep breath. “Are you crying?” he asked. 
Breathing in deep again to gather myself before I spoke, he chimed in again,
“What the hell happened?  Where are you?  Where is Josh?”  The last question
sounded like his teeth were grinding together.

“I’m at the school,” I
managed to say, but it wouldn’t be hard for him to tell I was truly crying.

“What? Why? Where the
hell is Josh?” he yelled.  His anger wasn’t pointed at me, but it still stung.

 “Um, he, um, left,” I
stammered.

“Fuck. I’m on my way. 
Stay put.” And before the line went dead, I heard the unmistakably sound of a
female voice say
What, you’re leaving
.

Looking at my phone,
wondering how long I was going to have to wait because Ethan was apparently
busy, my phone rang. “Jess, sorry I missed your call.”

“Madison,” I said,
voice cracking.

“Sweetie, what’s
wrong?” she asked, her voice filled with concern.

“I don’t want to
interrupt,” I said.  I didn’t need a ride anymore so I could tell her later
what happened.

“No way.  Can I put you
on speaker so Bradley can listen?” 

“Yes,” I said and told
them the story including that Ethan was on his way.

“I am so going to kick
his ass on Monday,” Madison said.

“No, leave that to me,”
Bradley said.

“No one is going to
kick anyone’s ass.  I’m the one that told him to leave.”

“You know that was
stupid, right?” Madison said straight up.

“I know,” I said,
dejectedly.  “I was just so mad.  I didn’t want to be around him.”

“Still, he should have
waited until you had someone else come get you,” Bradley added.

A roar preceded the
dark shape that came racing into the parking lot. “I’ve got to go,” I said.
“Ethan is here.”

“Call or text me when
you get home,” Madison directed before we hung up.

Walking back to the
parking lot, Ethan was already on his bike looking frantically for me when he
finally spotted me coming around the bleachers.

Walking fast, he met me
halfway. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he asked, “Are you hurt?  Did the
bastard hurt you?”

“No,” I said, shaking
my head with his hands now on either side of my face.

“Do you want me to
drive you home?” It was too dark to see his eyes, but I felt their       
intensity on me.

“Can we go to your
house?” I asked, not ready to go home and think.  Some of Ethan’s sarcastic
remarks may help clear my head.

He nodded. “You’re
shivering.”  Shrugging off his jacket, he held it out to me.  I didn’t argue, I
just put it on. 

“Won’t you be cold?” I
asked.

“I’m fine,” he said,
directing me to get on his motorcycle.

Getting on, I didn’t
have a helmet like the girl this morning.  Of course, he hadn’t expected me to
be riding with him. “I don’t have my helmet, so we’ll take it slow,” he said.

Keeping to his word, he
didn’t speed past the posted limit.  Without the helmet, I was able to press my
face to his back and inhale that faint scent of cologne he wore. 

In his garage, he
helped me off the bike and kept my hand when we went inside.  He didn’t let go
until he urged me to sit at the kitchen bar counter.

“Coffee, hot cocoa?” he
asked.

“Hot cocoa sounds
great,” I said.  Although I was happy to be with him, my mood was still somber.

Not looking at me as he
riffled through cabinets, he said, “So what happened?”

“Nothing really,” I
answered.  Of course, he would know that was a lie, but I felt really
embarrassed to tell him.

Pouring water from the
tap into a kettle, he said, “Don’t bullshit me.  You didn’t call
me
for
nothing.”

Closing my eyes, I knew
he was right, of course.  So I told him most of it.  I didn’t go into specific
detail of how Josh attempted to take our relationship to the next level, but I
figured the phrase he wanted to go all the way, sufficient enough.

“So he just left you
there?” he asked, incredulously.

Looking away from his
stare, I said, “I told him to go.”

Shaking his head, he
said, “That doesn’t mean a damn thing.  You don’t leave a girl stranded
especially at night in a dark deserted area.” He paused, then added, “I can’t
blame him for trying to cop a feel, but it was a dick move to leave you.”

His white knuckle grip
on the mug he handed me said it all.  He was furious.  “Why is it okay for him
to feel me up?’ I asked.

“Jess, every guy is
going to try at least once.” I flushed thinking about him touching my stomach
and then kissing me.  “He stopped when you told him, no?” he asked, even though
I’d already given him the details. I nodded. “So, he respected your decision. 
But to be so pissed about it and leaving you, he crossed a line. And I’ll talk
to him about it.”

“Don’t worry about
Josh.  I don’t blame him,” I said.  I did blame him, but I didn’t want Ethan
and Bradley starting a fight at school over my honor.  This was my battle. 

“Don’t worry,” he
said.  I saw the determination in his eyes.  He was planning something.

“Ethan, please don’t
start a fight with him,” I pleaded. “Let me handle this.”

My puppy dog eyes
worked.  Relenting, he said, “Fine.” Then he muttered, “I won’t start
anything.” There was heavy emphasis on the word start.

The mug was warm, and
the chill still hung with me.  Drinking some of the cocoa, I moaned with
pleasure. “Oh, this is good,” I said dragging out each “o” in my sentence.

Arching an eyebrow at
me, he said, “Like.” 

“Yes,” I said. “What
did you put in it?” I asked because it didn’t taste like average hot cocoa.

Shaking his head, he
winked at me. “For me to know.”

Just what I needed, his
shamelessness.  “So you won’t share?” I asked.

“Maybe, depends on what
you have to offer me,” he said casually with his back turned.  He was
apparently working on his own mug.

His statement could be
taken many ways.  So I sipped at the hot cocoa, unable to come up with an
answer.  “What do you want?” I asked.

“To finish this night
the way it started,” he said.  I couldn’t see his face, but I imagined the sly
grin that I’d heard.

Not backing down, I
said, “And where was it leading?”

Facing me, he said
deadpan, “To my bedroom.”

His eyes seemed to
smolder, swirling and mesmerizing me, so that I couldn’t think, breathe or
react right away. “Um,” I croaked.

“You asked.”

“But,” I mumbled.

“Don’t worry,
princess.  I know the score.”

At ease, I said, “And
what is the score?”

“Bottom of the ninth.
One out. Zero runners on base, and any guy would strike out after what happened
to you tonight.”

“I can’t believe you.”
I wanted to laugh, but I wanted to cry.  It was a crapper night.  But here,
Ethan was turning out to be my Prince Charming, and my foot didn’t fit in the
glass slipper he had.  Allie’s did, and it would serve me well to remember
that.

Putting his empty mug
down after downing the contents, he hissed.

“Was it too hot?” I
asked.

“No, it was perfect
with a little something extra.”  I left that comment alone.  Putting my empty
mug down.  The cocoa was outstanding.

Leaning on the counter
to face me, he caught my gaze. “Tell me something,” he began.  “I know your
name is Jessica, and your sister’s name is Jennifer.  How come you guys are
called Jessa and Jenna and not Jess and Jenn?”

That was a good
question, and very few people bothered to ask.  Madison and Bradley knew, of
course. “Well, when we were little, Jenna and I tried to say each other’s name,
and it always sounded like Jessa and Jenna.  Apparently, I wasn’t good with F’s
back then.  And I guess it just stuck.  But Madison calls me Jess.  And you do,
too.”

“I was just curious,”
he said.  His eyes lingered south.  Snapping back to attention at eye level, he
said, “If you’re not ready to go home, we should go watch a movie or
something.  Preferably an action movie with a lot of gore.”

It was a strange
request.  “Why?”

“So I can stop
imagining the color of your underwear,” he said, smiling at me.

With my mouth open for
a fly to come calling, he shrugged. “I’m a guy.  And I was nearly to home base
when you called.”

Cringing, I said,
“Sorry.”

“No worries.  Girls are
a dime a dozen.”

“What?” I said with my
hands on my hips.  He hadn’t seen my indignation yet.

Sitting on the couch
with a remote in hand, he said, “Not you. You’re not just any girl.”

Moving to stand in
front of him like my Mom did when she wanted my Dad’s full attention, I said,
“What kind of girl am I?”

Sighing, he said, “I
thought we were becoming friends.”

He held his arms out
like Bradley did whenever I needed to vent and needed comfort, too.  I eased
myself down on the sofa and into his embrace, my back partly on his chest.  He
put his hand on my shoulder, and I leaned more into him.  “Friends with
benefits,” he said as his hand moved slowly down. 

Slapping it away, he
chuckled at me.  “Never hurts to ask,” he said, shaking out his hand.  “Except
in this case.”

Laughing, I shook my
head.  “What about Allie?” I asked.  I didn’t want the ease of our conversation
to end, but the question begged to be asked.

“What about her?” Some
of the playfulness leaving his tone.

“You, other girls?”

“She’s not here and
she’s knows the score.”

There was a finality
about his statement.  We were friends but not best friends. It wasn’t my place
to judge.  I’d worry about how much to share with Allie when I saw her.

Right now, Ethan turned
out to be just what I needed.  A distraction.

Waking up, I remembered my night.  It
had been fun.  Ethan had promptly dropped me off by curfew and curiosity had me
wondering if he’d gone out after. Maybe back to the party he’d been back at or
to her.  The girl I’d heard in the background, I hadn’t been sure it was Lucy,
but I wouldn’t have doubted otherwise.

 Finishing homework and chores, I
watched a few YouTube videos about starting a blog.  I was seriously
considering it.  When my phone buzzed, I didn’t bother to look at who was
calling, knowing it was either Madison or Bradley.

“What’s up,” I said.

“Nothing,” a voice responded, clearly
not belonging to either of my best friends.

“Ethan?” I ask incredulously.

“Yeah,” he said, “Hey, have you finished
the roll yet?” He was referring to the film and my camera.

“Yes…” I said a little too slowly.