Through The Lens (23 page)

Walking in the bistro,
I took in the rich scents of the menu items. “Honey, what are you doing here?”

The place was packed as
it was now lunchtime, and I didn’t think my Mom would spot me. When I didn’t
answer, she pointed to the far wall.  I maneuvered my way and plopped into a
bar seat in front of the bar counter that lined the back wall.  The rich
chocolate color of this wall reminded me of the sofas in Brandon’s house. 
However, here the color bloomed and took root that gave way to a warmth that I
felt as if I was at home.

“You don’t have that
camera with you,” my Mom said, coming up on my side. “I swear you are so like
your father.  He had that thing aimed at me every time I saw him.”

Remembering the look in
my father’s eyes when he spoke about the camera and my Mom, I thought it was so
fitting that an album of our family was the perfect gift. “No more pictures,” I
teased.

“Are you hungry?” she
asked.

Nodding, I said, “It’s
busy.  Are you sure you don’t need any help?”  I was bored.  Where I’d become
accustomed to being by myself this summer, with Madison and Bradley exploring
their relationship, now I had Allie, Ethan, and Josh.  And I got lonely at the
house.  I didn’t want to call Josh.  I’d only seen him the night before.  We
were taking things slow, and I didn’t want to appear to be clingy.

“No, it’s crazy, but
I’ve got it handled.  Give me a minute, and I’ll bring you something.”

Turning in my seat, I
looked out in the crowd.  The place was filled with all different kinds of
people, the young and the old, singles, couples, and families. My Mom really
had something going here.  But cooking and feeding people weren’t my passions. 
I couldn’t help but be happy that my Mom wasn’t forcing her dream on us.

When she came over,
offering a plate with some sort of mystery meat or filling in the sandwich, I
took a bite.  Groaning, I asked with my mouth still full, “What is it?”

Waggling her eyebrows
at me, she said, “Good, huh?”

Nodding, I swallowed. 
A thought hit me. “Hey, do you think you could wrap up another of these.”

Frowning, she looked
like a lecture was coming on. “Just because its healthy food, doesn’t mean you
should eat more of it.”

“No. It’s not for me,”
I protested.

Smiling at me, she said
softly, “Josh.” She gave me a knowing look.  My Mom was actually cooler than my
Dad when it came to the subject of boys.

I opened, then closed
my mouth.  Should it have been Josh whom I thought of?  Because it wasn’t. “No,
Ethan.”

She frowned again. “No,
Ethan and I are just friends.” Scrambling, I needed to give her an explanation
without giving her the whole truth.  I hated to lie especially when she’d given
me so much trust this morning.  But this was a small lie, I told myself. “His Mom
is out of town.” Which was true. “I thought it would be nice to bring him a
home-cooked meal so he’s not eating junk.”  The home-cooked part, I said using
air quotes with my hands.  And I hadn’t totally lied.  I just hadn’t given her
the whole truth of it.

Mom went into mommy
mode. “Oh, that is so sweet. Let me go bag up something for him.”

I left twenty minutes
later with a bag full of food. I was sure it would last him all weekend. 

Driving to Ethan’s, I
did a quick mental check about Josh.  This wasn’t anything.  It was me being a
friend.  And well, I’d used up my film roll and thought I might try my hand at
developing the film today, if Ethan had time.

When I pulled up in his
driveway, I considered that maybe I should have called first.  Without turning
off the car, I pulled out my phone.  After a quick dial, the phone rang.

“Hey,” a gruff voice
said.  He sounded as if he were sleeping.

“Ethan, you busy?” I
asked.

Clearing his throat, he
said, “No, why? What’s up?”

“I wondered if I could
come over,” I said, hoping this wasn’t a wasted trip.

“Sure, alright,” he
said sounding confused.

“Um, I’m outside,” I admitted.

Silence.

“Are you there?” I
asked tentatively.

The door opened, and he
spied my car.  Turning off the ignition, I grabbed the food bag and my
backpack.  I hurried inside while he still held his phone to his ear.  In a
loose tee shirt and baggy sweats, he was still rather cute.  Especially with
his bed hair.

I put the phone to my
ear. “You should hang up now.”

Smiling, he ended the
call, and so did I.  “What brings you to my door this morning?”

“First of all, it’s not
morning.  Second, I brought you food.”

That had his eyes
opening. “Food, you cooked?” he questioned.

“Not exactly.  I told
you my Mom owned a restaurant, right?”

Watching him nod, I
wasn’t exactly sure if I did, or if he just wanted to get to the answer. “I got
lunch and I thought about you.  I know you don’t get home-cooked meals everyday
now.  And even though this isn’t home-cooked, it’s pretty darn close.  And, I
kind of wanted to develop the roll of film you gave me, if you have time?”

“Bribery, huh?” he
said, lifting an eyebrow. Giving him my pearly whites, he capitulated. “Who
could turn down that face?  Now what did you bring me? I’m starved.”

I pulled out the tubs
of food and making myself home in his kitchen, I served him.  It was the least
I could do, considering I showed up with no warning.

“This is really good,”
he said. 

“Yeah, Mom is good at
what she does,” I said, proudly.

We didn’t speak for a
while after that.  I hadn’t seen anyone eat like Ethan other than my brother. 
Boys surely can pack away the food.  And damn it if they didn’t have weight
issues. 

Leaning back, looking
completely satisfied, he said, “I’m going to go upstairs and put some clothes
on, unless-,”

“Go put some clothes
on,” I said exasperatedly.

“If you’re sure,” he
teased.  Shaking my head, he said, “Fine, I’ll get dressed, and we’ll head out
to the lair.”

Nodding, I watched him
walk away.  And darn it, I couldn’t help but appreciate the view.   He was
stretching his back, and his sweats slid lower on his hips.  And boy, I nearly
shivered.  That was just wrong, I thought.  You have a boyfriend who is totally
hot.  Stop pilfering on your friend’s man.

Trying to get rid of
stupid thoughts about how it felt to put my arms around him when I rode on his
motorcycle or how it felt to kiss him.  I organized what was left of the food
and put it away. Then I washed the few dishes he had, wiped down the counters
and threw the trash away.

“You didn’t have to do
that,” Ethan’s voice rang out, scaring me half to death.

Clutching at my heart,
I tried to catch my breath.  He chuckled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” 
He came closer and put a hand on my shoulder. “I would have cleaned up.” His
hair was damp.  He was so close, I could smell his minty breath.  He’d showered
and taken care of other things while I was busy cleaning.

“It’s okay.  I had
nothing else to do,” I said.

“You didn’t have to
clean the whole kitchen,” he said.

Had I? I was so lost in
my thoughts, I was just keeping busy.

“Thanks,” he said.

“No problem,” I
replied.

“Are you ready?” he
asked.

Picking up my backpack
from the floor, I followed him out.  He wore jeans and a tee now.  The sight
was just as nice. 

Down in the “lair” as
he’d dubbed it, I took my camera out to get to the film while he seemed to mix
chemicals and set up.

“Do you remember what
you did last time?” he asked.

How could I forget? 
He’d been so close, and it was a first for me.  It’s hard to forget memorable
firsts.  And the first time I developed film would be burned into my memory
forever. “Yes,” I said.

“Okay, let me show you
what chemicals go where and how we set up.”

An hour later, I’d
processed the film by myself.  He stayed behind me, but I did it all by
myself.  He only had to stop me once to explain something.

“You did it,” he said
while we sat outside.  And I remembered being here with him before, sleeping in
his arms.  It had been so easy.

The cloudless day was
warm.  The grass swayed with a gentle breeze. “I did.”

“So, now you can come
anytime you want and develop film.”

“I wanted to make
prints,” I said.

“That is a whole other
process. I’ll show you though.  We’ll probably have to do it in the lab in the
house.” He seemed to drift off in thought.  This was bringing up memories for
him.

“It’s okay.  I can take
it to like CVS or Target to make prints,” I said.

“You could do that,” he
said absently.

Not saying anything
else, I let him think.  Leaning back on my arms I tentatively closed my eyes hoping
I wouldn’t fall asleep again and just enjoyed the peace.  It was quiet back
here.  We were far enough from the road that we heard very little noise from
the neighborhood.  Just nature doing its thing was all you could hear. 

“Ethan,” I said.

“Hmm,” he replied.

“Do you miss Allie?” I
asked.  I did.  Allie was that bright spot in the room.  She was that person
that made you laugh even if you didn’t want to.

“Yeah,” he said.

“What do you think
she’s up to?” I didn’t ask if she’d called.  Because if she hadn’t I didn’t
want to give voice to it.

My eyes were still
closed, my face raised to meet the sky.  “Probably trying to make everyone
happy,” he said absently.  It had to be hard on the guy having a girlfriend who
was a TV and movie star.  But I didn’t say it. “So what was the real reason why
you stopped by today?”

“Can’t a girl just want
to hang out with a friend?” I answered with my own question.

He gave me the look
that said he wasn’t buying what I was selling.  “Okay, I was bored.  But
truthfully, I did want to develop the film.  It’s my parents’ anniversary.  And
I thought it would be cool to make an album for them.”

“I guess, that’s one
thing Josh can’t do for you,” he muttered, looking back up in the sky.

“What’s that supposed
to mean?” I asked, watching his profile.

Turning back to me, he
said, “It’s nothing.”

“You brought it up,” I
said stubbornly.

“Fine, I just wondered
why you are here with me and not with him.”

Darn it. I’d wondered
the same thing myself.  Why did he have to, too? “I saw him last night and I’m
going to his game tonight.  I don’t need to spend every waking moment with my
boyfriend.”

“Touché, let’s go make
pictures then,” he said, standing up.  Holding out a hand to me, he helped me
to my feet.

Sitting next to Ethan on the bleachers,
I thought about my whirlwind day.  After we made prints of several shots I’d
taken, . . . well, Ethan did most of the work . . . he’d asked who I was going
to the game with.  Madison had to work, but I’d gotten Bradley to agree to go
with me.  I think he’d felt bad about not hanging out with me so much since he
and Madison got together.  But Ethan told me to let Bradley off the hook
because he would go with me.  And here I sat.  Thankfully it was almost over. 
It was the last quarter of the game.

“Enjoying yourself?”
Ethan asked, with a smirk.

“Not really,” I said
truthfully.

Then a really pretty
girl with sandy blonde hair pulled back in a single ponytail planted herself on
Ethan’s lap with a smile.  He smiled back.  Her hand shot out. “Hi, I’m
Shelly.”

Confused, I took her
hand in a quick shake and said, “I’m Jessa.”

“Nice to meet you,” she
said, then she focused her attention on Ethan.  It was a rude and strange all
the same. “So where have you been hiding, stranger.”

“I’ve been waiting to
find you,” he said, with easy banter.

Giggling, she nuzzled
his neck. And I thought that this girl had to know nothing was going on between
us for her to act this way. “How’s Allie?”

“Last I heard, she was
good.  How’s Todd?” he asked.

Lifting up, she turned
towards the field and waved to someone. “He looks pissed,” she said as if it
were a joke.

“Shell, you are crazy. 
You are going to get that guy killed.”

Giggling some more, she
asked, “And how am I going to accomplish that?”

“Because he’s going to
come up here and try to kick my ass for touching his girl, and I’m going to
have to kill him.”

“Okay,” she said in a
tone that suggested she was stupid. “I miss you guys.”

“You wouldn’t believe
who teaches at my school,” he said.

Giving him a
speculative look, she asked, “Who?”