Through The Lens (26 page)

His mouth locked on my
bra and did things through the thin material that had me throwing my head back.
Somewhere, I thought I heard him say,
But I’ll give you this
. And a
meltdown happened in my reactor.  Things went nuclear in an atomic bomb kind of
way.

We lay there panting. 
I was still damp from the impromptu shower as was he.  Still, I let him hold me
until I drifted off to sleep.

My phone rang
incessantly, waking me from a dream.  Looking around, I didn’t remember where I
was.  Until last night crashed down around me.  I was in Ethan’s room.  In his
bed, the sun was shining.  Shit, shit, shit.  My parents were going to kill me.

Looking at the phone, I
thanked God it wasn’t my Mom or Dad.  “Madison,” I said into the phone.  Maybe
I still had time to make it home.  Maybe they didn’t even notice I wasn’t
there.

“Where the hell are
you?” she shouted. “Your Mom called my house, and I had to think quickly.  I
saw your text about that asshole Josh.  I told her that you tried to call
them.  That you were staying over at my house because you and Josh had a
fight.  Basically, Josh showed up looking for you, and they could tell you
hadn’t slept in your bed.  Thank God you are okay, because I didn’t know how I
was going to explain myself to the police,” she said in a frenzied speech. 
“And where the hell are you?” she cried again.

“Ethan’s.  Look, thanks
for covering for me.  I’ll call you back,” I said before ending the call.  I
heard her say a shocked “Ethan” before I hung up.

Getting up, I noticed
my clothes draped over his desk chair.  Looking at them, I could tell they were
clean.  I peeked into a cleaned bathroom and didn’t find him there.  So I put
my clothes back on and headed downstairs.

He wasn’t there.  When
I opened the garage door, he was pulling in.  Not sure what to do, he stepped
out of the SUV with a bag and two cups in his hand. “Breakfast,” he said.

Nodding, I held the
door open as he came in.  Closing it, I followed. “We should talk,” I said.  He
laid out two croissant breakfast sandwiches that smelled of bacon and eggs.  
They were mouthwatering, but I couldn’t eat first for fear I would get sick
after what I had to say. “I don’t expect anything from you.  I know you were
drunk last night.”

Moving fast, he came
around the counter and wrapped me in an embrace before tilting my chin up. 
“Jess, I meant every word I said to you last night.  I want you to be mine.”

“How can you mean that? 
You said before you didn’t want a relationship?” I proclaimed.

“Yes, before I met you.
I even don’t think I ever felt this way about Carly.”  And he kissed me.  And I
let him. 

The doorbell rang
interrupting us.  He strode to the door with purpose. “Where is she, Ethan?”
Josh said as he pushed his way inside.  He must have figured out Madison was
covering for me.  Somewhere in the house, I heard my phone ringing, but it was
too late for that.

“What did you do, man? 
Just wait for a moment for her to be weak,” Josh accused. Ethan spun, and I
moved in front of him.  I knew what was coming, another shiner to match the one
on his right eye. “Jessa, I’m sorry.” 

Reaching out for me, I
stepped back into Ethan’s arms.  They circled me like a protective predator.

“Josh, you should
leave,” I said flatly.

“I love you, Jessa,” he
begged.

Shaking my head, I
said, “It’s too late, Josh.  I gave you enough chances.  I can’t do this.”

Closing his eyes, he
said, “I know I fucked up.  But even if you can’t be with me, you don’t know
this guy.  You don’t know the rumors about him at his old school.”

“It’s too late,” I said
again.

Eyes bright with
knowledge, he said, “You slept with him.”

“No,” I said,
indignantly.  “And if I had, it wouldn’t be any of your business. Go home.”

With a sad smile, he
said, “I deserve that.”  Giving Ethan a glare that would have lesser guys
cowering, he added, “Please just be careful.”  Taking slow steps like he was
truly afraid to leave me, I had a flash of doubt before I pushed it away. 

When he was in his car
and pulling away, Ethan kissed my neck before setting me free. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I said. “But I
should get home before my parents find out Madison lied to them.

“Can I see you today?”
he asked, tentatively.

Biting my lip, I knew
it wasn’t a good idea.  I’d come close to making what might have been a mistake
last night.  Just being near Ethan, I felt powerless against him. It wasn’t his
fault. He hadn’t taken advantage of me.  Maybe I just needed time to get over
this thing with my sister.  “Not tonight,” I said.

The light in his face
dimmed.  “Can I take you out on a real date?” he asked.

“Yes.  Just not
tonight,” I said.

Coming closer, he
brushed his lips against mine.  Like a moth to a flame, I was attracted beyond
reason.  I pressed into him before taking two steps back. “I got to get home.”

Smiling, the light had
returned to his face.  I hurried up the stairs and got my phone and keys which
were on his desk. Returning back to the front door, he held out my cup of
coffee and sandwich.  Kissing him goodbye, which lasted a long time, I left
confused over my future but with a smile on my face.

My sister wasn’t home when I got there,
which was fine by me.  I wasn’t in the mood for her excuses and sorry apologies. 
I wouldn’t accept any of it.  Not for now, I thought.

But she showed up for
Sunday dinner.  Everyone in the house was required to at least be home for that
one meal.  We didn’t speak.  I ignored her, and she didn’t make an attempt to
talk to me.  I’d filled Madison in, but she hadn’t heard yet what went down
after I left the party.

A knock at the door
occurred right before we were to grace the food.  My father got up.  We all sat
waiting for my father to dismiss the intruder and return to the table.

“Sorry, to interrupt,”
a familiar voice said. “I just wanted to drop this off.”

“Jessa,” my father
called out.  Getting to my feet, I caught my sister rolling her eyes out of the
corner of my eye.  My Mom pushed away from the table to see why my Dad would
allow such a disruption.

Ethan stood just inside
the door on the little oval rug that sat in front of the door.  It was like his
spotlight.  He held a wrapped box in his hand.  “I know this was a week or two
late, but I know how much you wanted your parents to have it.”

He had to have put
together an album of the pictures I’d taken.  “What is it?” my Mom asked.

Ethan looked at me.  I
gave him the go-ahead. “Open it,” he said.

My Mom took the package
from his hand.  Lifting the exquisitely wrapped box top, there inside was a
leather-bound album with a picture of my Mom and Dad on the cover with the word
family in raised silver lettering.

My mother took the
album in her hand, and my father joined her side.  They flipped through shots,
while I smiled at Ethan.  He’d done this for me.  I wanted to lace my fingers
in his hair and join our mouths, but that would have to wait.

Kyle and Jenna soon surrounded
my parents in looking at the album.  “Who took these?”

Ethan spoke before I
could. “Jess, sir,” he said, answering my father’s questions.

“Ethan helped me
develop the film.  He showed me how to make the prints, but he practically did
that by himself,” I said proudly.

“Why don’t you join us
for dinner?” my Mom asked.

Smiling pleasantly, he
said, “I don’t want to impose, and I was just making a quick stop.”

“Don’t be silly,” my Mom
said. “You must stay.  This has to be the best gift ever.”

“Look at this one,” my
father said, raising a picture of me and Jenna laughing together.

Rolling my eyes, I
walked over to Ethan and wrapped my arm in his.  “Please stay.”

“For you,” he said,
then whispered, “anything.”

“If that ain’t the pot
calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is,” muttered Jenna on her way back
into the dining room.

Shaking my head, I mouthed,
Ignore her
to Ethan.

After the meal was
served and we ate, the inquisition began. “So tell us where you live,” my
father asked.

Ethan rattled off the
name of his ritzy neighborhood.  “What does your father do?” my Mom asked in a
not so subtle way to show she knew he was wealthy to live there.

Knowing what was
coming, I tried to keep eye contact with Ethan who sat next to me. “My father’s
dead,” he said softly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I
didn’t mean,” my Mom said.

“It’s okay,” Ethan
said. “You didn’t know.  My Dad’s name was Tom Hart.”

My Mom sucked in a
breath.  My Dad, not missing a beat, said, “It must have been hard on you,
seeing that none of that was your fault.”

I smiled at my Dad for
being so kind to say that.   

“I’ve seen better
times, but I’m surviving,” Ethan said.

My sister and Kyle said
nothing.  They just took it all in.  Thankfully, my Mom moved to get dessert.

After it was all over,
Ethan said to my Mom, “Thanks for the wonderful meal.”

“You’re welcome.  Come
anytime,” she said.

“Thanks. That’s awfully
generous of you,” he said.  They didn’t know how much that meant to him like I
did.  Or maybe my Mom did.  She was a smart woman.  She might have put two and
two together.”

As my father excused
us, I walked Ethan to the door. “I guess I’ll need to get home.  School tomorrow
and all,” he said.

I lightly grabbed him.
“I don’t think they heard you.”

Smiling ruefully at me,
he said, “Will you walk me to my car?”

“Of course,” I said.

Outside in the
darkness, he and I met on the driver’s side of the massive SUV.  With the
tinted windows and darkness, we couldn’t be seen.

“I missed you,
princess,” he said.

Whispering against his
mouth, I said, “I missed you, Obi Wan.”

Laughing, he said, “I
think you meant Han Solo.”

“I don’t know. Blame
Bradley and his desire for us to see all the classics.”

“Can I hold your hand
tomorrow at school?” he asked.

Looking away, I said,
“Maybe we should wait.”

“For what?” he asked.

“Everyone’s going to
know about the breakup.  If I’m with you so quickly, they’ll think you were the
cause.”

“I don’t care about
what everyone thinks,” he said.

Kissing him quickly, I
said, “I do. Obviously there are rumors about you.  You don’t need any more bad
press. Let’s give it some time.”

“Will you come over
after school then?”

“Yes,” I promised
before wrapping my arms around his neck to stop talking.  His kiss heated my
bones and filled me with something only he could give.  Knowing my Dad would be
waiting for my return to the house, I pulled away and said. “Have you heard
from Allie?”

“No,” he said casually.

“Aren’t you concerned? 
She said she was in town and was coming to talk to you and never showed up?” I
asked.

Shrugging, he said,
“It’s likely her flight was delayed, and she didn’t have time to come see me
before heading overseas.  Once there, she would be busy with the film
rehearsals and what not?”

“Have you called her?”
I asked, exasperatedly.

“No.  This is how Allie
is.  I’m used to it,” he said.

Staring in his face,
not getting his lack of concern, I said, “Can you try calling her please or her
Mom?”

Now he frowned. “I’ll
call her.  But her Mom doesn’t exactly like me.  She says I’m the reason her
daughter is in all this trouble with drinking.  And she’s right. “

“You didn’t force
alcohol down her throat, did you?” I asked.

Shaking his head, he
said, “No.”

“Don’t blame yourself
then.  Just call her, okay?” I pleaded.

“Sure, I’ll call.  But
it’s on you if I get an earful from her.”  He kissed me just as the door opened
with my Dad silhouetted in the doorway. “You better get inside,” Ethan said,
grinning at me. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

Waving, I walked passed
my dad in the house, feeling fuzzy from something wonderful blossoming in my
heart. 

Staying under the radar had been my
intention.  Walking into school, I passed Ethan giving him a sideways smile
before heading to my own locker.  There waiting for me was Josh.  I should have
realized that he’d be here.  The last time he’d messed up, he hadn’t given in
easily.  But this time, he had what he wanted, my sister.  So why was he here?

Spinning my lock, I
pointedly ignored him and hoped my silence would be meaning enough.