TITAN (11 page)

You
want to play video
games?” he asked, happy at the thought.

“Not just any video games, these
first!” She pulled the oldest Atari games out and that’s how the night started.
The laughed and cursed each other as they tried their hardest to beat each
other badly enough to brag. At one point, Jordy went so far as to start
punching Tite in the arm, playfully, when he was really putting a hurting on
her.

“Fucking
stop
it,” he laughed at her and continued to win the last round, punishing her and
making her even madder.

“You are a horrible loser,” he said,
making his voice harsh with the words, putting his controller down. “I have
never seen someone lose so badly and the punching too, Jordy?” He smiled at her
and tapped his arm where she had been hitting him. “Really, video games must
bring out the violence in youth.” He was chuckling.

“What the hell ever, Tite, you
forget, you pinned me down,” she said, remembering him sitting on her while he
took the lead. “That shit hurt,” she said, pretending to survey her arms and
legs for damage that didn’t exist.

“Are you tired?” he asked, looking
at the clock. Almost 2 a.m., damn, time was flying by. He would make her stay
one more day.

“Nope,” she said smiling at him,
anxious to see what he had in mind.

“Let’s get a beer and go on the
patio.”

“K,” she said, not objecting at
all. She started to put her jeans on, but he stopped her. “I have grown used to
those,” he said, pointing at her underwear. “Now, I forbid you to cover them
up.”

It was warm outside, and quiet.
Spring was giving into summer and the crickets were beginning to serenade. He
grabbed two bottles of something she had never seen, and two glasses, on the
way out of the kitchen and they sat on the outdoor couches.

“You want to play twenty
questions?” she suggested.

“Well, fuck no,” then the idea
started to intrigue him. “I will give you five,” he said, dreading the
questions.

She knew she was playing with fire,
especially since her oath, she would never lie to him. But she didn’t think he
had any that would cause her to reveal too much.

“Anything I want?” she asked.

“I can’t promise to give you the
answer you want,” he said, warning her, “but, yes.”

“Okay, let me think about it.” She
took a long drink from her glass.

“Do you really hate my underwear?”
she asked, playing.

“No,” he said, staring at her like
she was an idiot for asking that question

“Are you fucking Tracey?”

He spit out a little of his beer
and stared at her.

“Not now. Recently? Yes.”

“I knew the answer to that, so can I
have four more?” she said, feeling guilty about slightly changing the playful
mood.

“No,
That’s
two. Three left, choose wisely,” he said, still a warning in his voice.

“Do you really hate women and if
so, why?”

“I have never gotten along with any
woman longer than a few months when I tried, and the rest were just ass. When
we start fighting more than fucking, that’s my cue, and I have only actually
tried once in the last five years. But, to answer your question, no, I don’t
hate women. I hate the baggage that comes with them, the feelings and crying
and periods and worrying about hurting feelings, and remembering anniversaries.
They are mess makers and I don’t like messes, I am not a relationship guy
that’s just not me. I have only trusted one and she made a fool out of me.”

“Fair enough, good answer. We are
all crazy, I know.” She stared at her toes and then looked at him again.

“What the mushiest shit you have
ever listened to? And still do?”

“P.M. Dawn,” he said, knowing he
had cost her a question, and damn happy about it.

“Fuck, well played,” she said,
discouraged. “I am saving my last question for later,” she said as if to
dismiss the whole game.

“Not my turn?” he asked.

Jordy got really scared, don’t lie
to him Jordy, no matter what.

“Do you miss Tony?” He seemed ready
to take a punch. He still felt bad.

“Nope, haven’t had time to, I have
been getting my brains fucked out by a rap star.” She started playing with her
hair twisting it in circles with one hand, holding her glass in the other.

“If you weren’t a mouse pusher,
what would you do?”

“Anything but an office job.
Probably put my creative skills to use somehow. Travel the world, take
pictures. Eat the food, drink the wine. Be my own boss, somehow. I hate this
9-5 shit.”

“Do you want to get married and
have kids?”

“What the fuck kind of questions
are these?” she snapped.

“My questions, Jordy,” he said
sternly, making her sink in her seat.

“Yes and no. I don’t want children.
It would worry me too much, bringing them up, what might happen to them, that
isn’t me,” she said, mocking his words and using them for her own. “Married?
Sure, why not? It’s a bitch. I have heard it over and over from my friends,
‘Never get married, Jordy. It fucking sucks.’  I have watched my friends
go through horrible divorces, but some of them, a few, make it and I admire
those couples. Sure, they aren’t tearing each others clothes off anymore and
they complain about it all the time, but they made it through a lot, you can
just tell. They are so cool when they are together, you can feel the history
and a little bitterness and there
they are, still loving
each other over the years.  My best friend has been married for 15 years.
She grew up with her husband. They love each other more than anything and fight
like hell. It works for them, and they will both tell me never to get married,
but then I see them looking at each other and I am like, if I get married, I
want that kind of marriage. I think, yes, definitely, I do want that someday,
with someone. Of course, not you, I mean…”

Suddenly, she realized she had been
rambling
on,
he was staring at her and heard every
word.  She was scared he would react badly.

She stammered “I…I have managed to
escape both and I am not getting any younger, maybe neither is for me.” 

“Why not me, Jordy?” he said. He
knew he was fucking with her now.

“Wasn’t that the fifth question?”
she said, not remembering the count.

“Nope, it was the third, I have two
more.” He was pleased with himself.

“You are not the marrying kind.”
she said, convinced it was the right answer. “And you hate garden tools” she
said thinking of what the double meaning of his song lyrics meant. “There will
be no hoes or honey do lists for you.” She kept on, repeating his lyrics.

“GOOD ANSWER!” he chuckled.

 “Two more,” he said, playing
with her again.

She downed her beer and set the
glass on the table as if to say “bring it”.

“Are you afraid of me?” he asked.

“Not anymore,” she said, she was
sure of it. “What’s your last question?”

“I am saving mine, too,” he assured
her.

“Today was awesome, really
awesome,” she said, thinking about the ride and the hill and the sex and the
games.

“Yeah,” he said, not giving her
much to go on.

“Maybe I can heighten your
enthusiasm,” she said, picking her brow up.

“Oh yeah? How’s that?”

She leaned over and kissed him and
then walked into the house with a come here finger behind her back.

He followed her past the kitchen,
and into the elevator. The stood on opposite sides of the elevator, she made
sure of it. She took off her shirt and exposed her bare breasts then her
underwear and handed them to him. When the elevator dinged she didn’t head for
the bedroom but the library, and he was intrigued.

She made her way onto the couch and
sat down legs crossed.

“Jordy what is this?”

“A place to get
educated,
is it not?” she asked.

“And, what are we learning today?”
he said, taking off his shirt.

“Hmmm, carnal knowledge,” she said,
smiling, as he came down on top of her.

“I could get enthusiastic about
that, I guess.”

She grabbed a notebook off of the
desk beside her and smacked his ass, hard.

“Shh… no talking in the library….”

When they had both lost all they
had left, they went straight to the bedroom. He motioned for her to join him in
the shower and she obliged. It was kind of hard for her to keep calm with him
so naked and so good looking, soaking wet in front of her. He took her in the
shower by surprise. When they were done, they collapsed in bed, laughing about
the fact that she snored.

“I’m sorry,” she said, a little
embarrassed. “Do you have a guest room?”

“Shut up, Jordy,” he said, smacking
her in the face with a pillow. “You already ruined this
one,
you can keep it, drool box. Are you sure you shouldn’t wear your helmet to
bed?”

“Goodnight, asshole.”

She turned over, not giving him a
chance to come back with something more incriminating. She was naked and so was
he.

He was so fun!

Well, when he wasn’t pissed.

She decided not to dwell on it.

She looked at the clock.

4 a.m.

She let her lids stare at the neon blue
light until her eyes gave out and a good deep sleep set in.

She woke up to find him out of bed.
She looked around his bedroom and felt sad. There was no life to the room
unless he was in it. There was nothing good about this cold place without him
in it. He brought the life into every room.

She supposed that is the way
everyone felt when he was absent.

He represented his name well.

“Medieval is right,” she murmured,
thinking of his lyrics.

And when you were screwing Titan,
“ohhhh, ohhh, ow” she moaned, touching between her thighs.

She needed to take a break, not for
her, for her body. She had been thoroughly roughed up in the library last
night, and “oh yeah”, she whispered, and smiled to herself remembering after.
They had both reached for each other in the middle of the night too. She closed
her eyes remembering his words, “More, Jordy?”

YES, PLEASE!

Damn it, she hated the thought of
not being able to be with him today, but she knew there was no way.

She was sore everywhere.

She winced getting out of bed.

She let the hot water of the shower
hit her back, instantly making her feel better. She lathered her hair over and
over thinking of how he had whispered to her last night, the whole time fucking
her.

He was sooo bad.

She smiled.  

He tortured her with questions in
between strokes, quizzing her on their earlier conversation on the porch.

“What kind am I, baby?”

To which, she replied, “I don’t
know, Jesus.”

“Jesus?”

He ran his hands down, playing with
her as he slid himself in and out. He was behind her, in a spoon position,
fucking her, whispering in her ear, kissing her neck, driving her crazy,
speeding up and slowing down before she could come.

“More, Jordy?”

She was going to lose her mind, she
was sure of it. He would bring her to point then take it away right before she
came. He was getting to know how to work her body and she didn’t like it.

“Please, Tite, please, please,” she
begged, but he just keep on teasing her.

When she had finally had enough of
his torture, she ripped herself away and surprised him, climbing on top and
riding him like a maniac until she earned what he had been depriving her from
and fell on his chest. He grabbed her by the hair and kissed her quickly on the
mouth, then turned her around ramming into her as her eyes welled up with
tears. When he was spent they both fell back, gasping, only when
he
had
decided it was enough.

Jordy felt the ache in the shower.
She knew she was game for another round but there was no way her body would
allow it.

She finished showering and grabbed
the oversized towels laid out for him.

God, it felt good to be clean, she
felt so good.

She loved this moody, sex crazed,
asshole.

“You snore.” She laughed,
remembering his words.

Good, she thought, I am totally
flawed and he sees it all.

Good.

No note, no nothing. Hmmm.

She was curious to see how she
would find him in this massive house. Maybe she would just snoop around a bit
while she was looking for him.

She wandered the halls of the third
floor, since she had already seen the “Playhouse”. Guest rooms, nothing but
well furnished guest rooms. Well, that was no fun.

She got into the elevator. The 1st
floor was the kitchen, dining and three living rooms.

She took a quick peek around to
look for
Tite,
he was nowhere to be found.

She popped in the kitchen and
grabbed water. Back to the elevator, one more floor. She came out of the
elevator and saw a large room to her right. A theater. To her left was a huge
home studio. 

She heard faint grunting and then
“heh, heh, heh, heh heh heh heeh.”

She walked toward the noise and
found a gym.

Tite was punching a weight bag.

The look on his face scared the
shit out of her.

It was no look he had ever given to
her. She decided to leave him alone.

She quickly walked out, almost
running down the hall to reach the elevator. She hit P and decided to head to
the library until he came for her, no matter how long it took as long as he
didn’t have that look on his face.

She made a pit stop to the bedroom
for a Xanax. I really thought today, maybe today, I wouldn’t have to take one.
She was almost upset, but decided not to make a mountain out of nothing. She
plucked a book from his collection and started reading.

That’s right Jordy, get the fuck
out.

He had seen her peeking in on him.

He was furious.

He had just gotten off the phone
with Jessie. Tony was going for the throat, he was going to press charges for
assault and sue him for damages.

Fucking pussy
.

He meant that, literally, both
ways, hers for the trouble it was causing and that Tony was one
.

Take your ass on, bitch, you
just cost me.

He had wanted to wake her up and
throw her out of his house, but decided that would be too fucked up. He decided
to go hurt the bag rather than hurt anything else. It was easier for him to get
his aggression out, and then decide, but he was almost worn out and still
pissed. He finished banging the bag and headed for the shower.

She was out.

That was it.

“Hey,” she said, looking up at him
from her book, smiling from last night.

“Hey,” he said, coldly in the
doorway.

“What’s wrong, Tite?” she asked,
terrified.

“I think it’s time you went home.
Weren’t you leaving today?” he snapped.

All the wind was knocked out of
her.

She didn’t look at him, closed the
book and stood up.

 She started walking, stopped
in the doorway, and turned around.

“I will be ready for the car in
five minutes.”

Her voice shook but she didn’t cry.

She hauled ass down the hall,
grabbed her iPod out of her purse, put the earphones in and hit play. She
didn’t want to hear the quiet. She started humming along with the music and
packing as quickly as possible.

Hold it together for five
minutes, Jordy, five minutes.

What had she done?

Maybe this is just how he ended
things. She saw how he treated Tracey.

It was over already.

Over already!

A tear slid down her check, she
wiped it away quickly and started humming louder. She grabbed two Xanax and
popped them on the spot.

Fuck it.

It was only Wednesday!

Now, she had to survive the rest of
the week, the rest of her life.

Oh GOD!

She sank to her knees as she was
packing.

Nope, she thought, get it together.
Five minutes and you are free to fall apart.

She got her stuff together quickly,
purposely leaving a pair of tighty whities next to the bed, thinking it did
look casual enough to be an accident.

FUCK HIM
.

If he had a heart at all, this
would sting a little.

She ran to the elevator and pushed
the first floor button.

She turned around to survey the place
one last time. He was there in the hall looking right at her.

“Bye,” she said, voice cracking
now.

As soon as the elevator dinged, she
took shelter. She could not read his expression and didn’t care to. She had
made a fool of herself by doing nothing this time. He didn’t say anything,
though he had enough time to before the door closed.

NOTHING! He said nothing to me
.

She let the hot tears flow now, and
knew they would never stop coming. She hummed all the way out the door and into
the SUV, not looking at the driver.

She handed him her bag and jumped
in back.

So this is what it’s like to have a
rap star ruin your life, she thought.

 Awesome.

She grabbed another Xanax and
thought, fuck it.

Yeah, BYE, you trouble making
fucking woman.

A nasty feeling was starting to
wash over him. He hated it. It was making him angrier. I was doing just fucking
fine. He dialed Jessie.

“She’s invited, bring her over now!
Jessie, I don’t give a fuck what you think,”
he
snapped, “also up my ticket to tomorrow. I am leaving tomorrow.”

He reached into his sweat pockets
and emptied them to jump into the shower.

He had put Jordy’s valiums in there
so when she woke up he could give her one. This was before he found out her ex
boyfriend was about to have him arrested.

He planned that day so differently
and knew the news was coming, but he thought it would be less severe. He popped
4 valiums in his mouth, quickly swallowing, throwing some pointless bathroom
decoration and smashing it into the wall.

He suddenly realized what the
nagging feeling was.

Pain, he was feeling pain.

Jordy got to her front door and
realized she didn’t have her keys.

What the fuck?

She couldn’t get into her house or
her car. She had to go back!

She thought really hard about where
she might have left them. She stopped the driver just as he was pulling away.

“We have to go back, sir, I forgot
my keys,” she sniffled.

OH GOD, I HAVE TO GO BACK
?

It was a thirty minute ride.

She could just have him drop her at
Angie’s, but she wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.

She didn’t know if she ever would
be.

“Sure thing, miss.”

They made their way back to the
house.

When they pulled up, she asked to
driver to go retrieve her keys.

“I am never to enter the home,
ma’am.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck,
she
thought.

Alright, Jordy, he is going to
think you are fucking around, trying to get attention but if you grab them and
leave, he might actually know the truth.

You did leave in a hurry.

He was done with her anyway, who
cares what he thought.

 She tried the front door, it
wasn’t locked.

She could see the TV was on in the
living room, maybe she could sneak past him. She saw the back of his hat and
thanked God for the break.

She sneaked up the steps, hearing
P.M. Dawn coming from the bedroom! He did like her, and he would think about
her.

She smiled, thinking maybe she
hadn’t wasted her time. Maybe he was just in one of his moods, maybe he would
call.

She reached the bedroom door and
froze. There was Tite, naked in bed, getting a blow job from half naked Tracey.

 He barely looked up at her.

Tracey looked up when she felt Tite
tense, but didn’t stop what she was doing. She kept on staring right at Jordy,
as if to say “
Ha, ha, he’s mine
.”

Jordy scanned the room quickly and
saw where her keys were.

“I forgot my house keys.”

She walked to the night stand and
grabbed them behind the alarm clock, grabbing her phone charger as well.

They had both just started to
register what was happening, like they were on a drug or something.

Yes, they were definitely fucked
up.

Tite pushed Tracey off of him.

“Oh, by all means, carry on,” she
snapped.

Even
he
had to know this was
so fucking low, and to this song too!

She heard P.M. Dawn coming from the
alarm clock and made the decision.

She knew it would show she cared,
but, fuck it.

There was no going back after this
anyway.

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!

Her eyes burned with tears she
could not hold back.

OH GOD, OH GOD! FUCKING BASTARD!

She had only been gone an hour!

She grabbed the alarm clock, it looked
expensive and it was heavier than she expected. Good, she thought, as she threw
it as hard as she could against the one story mirror.

It cracked and started crashing to
the ground, sending a huge amount of glass shattering around the three of them.

It was a huge production, Jordy
almost regretted it.

The glass stopped falling just in
time for her make a quick getaway, but not before smugly turning to him and
yelling.

“You’re motherfucking right, Tite!”

In an almost comical voice, she
continued, “We are too much trouble, with our emotions and shit and just look
at the mess I made!”

She glared at him exactly two
seconds, spitting the words out at him like they were weapons and walked out.

This time, she was sobbing before
she made it to the elevator.

She knew he could hear her.

She didn’t fucking care.

She thought she was tough enough to
handle this, but no, she was nowhere near it.

She took the phone he had delivered
to her a week ago threw it on the ground near his front entry, and stomped on
it, shattering it.

She looked up and saw Jessie.

You stupid woman!

It was
Jessie’s
head you
saw!

“Jordy! What are you doing here?”

He looked up to the stairs to see
if Tite was behind her and he wasn’t.

She was beyond getting herself
together and just looked at Jessie with tears rolling down her face.

“I forgot my keys and didn’t want
to go….” She cut herself off.

“I am ending the biggest fucking
mistake I have ever made.”

On the last word, her voice
cracked, and she walked out the door and made her way to the SUV.

The door was already open, as if it
was taunting her, telling her she was just another in a long line of women to
be escorted out of his life.