TITAN (14 page)

“Good, I am taking you home with
me,” he said, taking a left.

“I don’t have any clothes,” she
said, objecting.

He just gave her a ‘you don’t need
any’ look and kept driving. When they pulled up to the mansion, she shuddered.
Last time she was here, it was a total nightmare.

“Jordy, you have got to try, too,”
he said, knowing what she was thinking.

“I will, I swear, it’s just, can we
sleep in a guest room tonight? We can play maid and hotel guest. I don’t give a
fuck as long as I don’t see that bed,
yet
.”

“A little dramatic don’t you
think?”

She glared at him.

“Okay, okay, but you better be one
dirty maid. Oh, and you owe me $40,000 for that mirror.”

“Oh my God!”  Her car wasn’t
even worth that!

“
Tite, that
was psycho Jordy. I promise she will only emerge in heavy traffic or extreme
P.M.S.”

Laughing at her remark, he jumped
out of the car and let her out. He pulled her to him, hugging her.

“More, Jordy?”

She nodded yes furiously and he
caught her mouth, quickly.

They barely made it to the front
door, dressed. They were losing their minds by the time they got to the guest
bedroom. He laid himself back on the bed and propped his hands behind his head.
Jordy took the cue and undressed for him, slowly. She untied the back of her
dress and pulled it down, just under her breasts. She took a beat,
then
slid the dress down to the floor. Her panties were
black lace, and she played with the hips of them for a split second and took
them down, sliding out of her heels as well.

“Come here,” he said, his voice
almost angry.

“Where baby?” she said, playing
with him.

“Here, now!” he demanded, and
pointed to the bed beside him.

She walked straight over to the
spot he demanded and said, “Now what?”

“Now this,” he stood up, facing
her, lifting her in the air, dropping her on the bed beneath him. Jordy squealed
with delight and looked at him through her long lashes.

“Make up sex.”

He smiled and kissed her forever.
He didn’t come up for air until he was desperate. He went right back down,
kissing her everywhere, all over her body. She was desperate to touch him but
he was not having it tonight. He kissed her over and over and lowered himself
onto her, entering her gently. His strokes were a gentleness he had never shown
her. He grabbed her face and stroked her breast and looked deep into her eyes
as if he was trying to tell her something.

But, he had told her enough in his
own way tonight.

She forgave him everything, she
loved him and even though he may never say the words to her, she knew she was
more to him than they had both expected.

She gave into him,
sighing
his name. When they both had come, he kissed her one
more time, to make sure she knew he meant it. They drifted off to sleep, making
small talk, laughing and poking at each other.

Her last words were, “I like
trying. I like it a lot.”

“Stop it! Get the hell away from
me!”

“Come on, Jordy” He holds the snake
up again and grabs her hand.

“Tite, I am going to pass out, if
you don’t stop, I am going to pass out!”

“It’s just a snake, Jordy, chill.”

“Fuck you! AAAAHHHHHHH, STOP IT,”
she shrieked.

The crew was starting to stare and
she cowered under their stare.

He laughed his menacing laugh and
walked away, finally giving her a break.

He walked back onto the photo shoot
set. He had a giant yellow boa and was talking to the snake.

“You’re such a pretty bitch. Look
at that mean bitch over there.” He turned the snakes’ head Jordy’s way.

“Maybe I should take you home
instead?”

“Maybe I should shove that snake…,”
Jordy said audibly, not caring who heard.

“Okay, are we ready?” The photographer’s
assistant spoke up.

Jordy was fuming. Tite knew it, and
had a hard time not smiling because of it in his shots.

He never smiled for covers, ever.
He always gave off a certain vibe. A bad guy. He ditched the snake and told the
photographer no matter what the hell he was
thinking,
he wouldn’t be photographed that way. They immediately gave in. He had that way
about him. Anyone who argued with him was easily dismissed. He pulled off his
shirt, at their request, and let them touch him up.

Jordy sucked in a breath. She had
seen him naked a hundred times by now. It never got old. They had started
getting a little more comfortable, even though he kept her at a distance most
days. She never knew what he was thinking. Sometimes she would just let the day
play out and not bother him at all. He was always intrusive with her, asking
her questions about other men, what was going on with her. She was always
honest, but never really returned the questions. She had listened to his music
for twelve years. He lived out loud, bared his soul in his music, but being
with him privately was scary. Sometimes, she would see him get irritated if she
asked too much. It was just easier for him to tell her on his own.

“Tite, right there, extend your
arms back. Perfect. Now throw it. Wardrobe!” The photographer screamed in his
British accent. He was the best, and the only one Tite told her he really liked
working with.

“Alright, a few more and you have
your freedom,” he said, assuring Tite this wouldn’t take much longer.

Was everyone on eggshells around
this guy? She didn’t feel like that. Once in a while she could feel him
slipping away, but then he would come back, always hungry for her attention.

“Let’s go,” Tite said, tapping
Jordy on the shoulder. She must have drifted off again. He seemed irritated.

In the truck, Tite looked at her.
“You know, you could fucking
act interested in what’s going
on sometimes. We were only there two hours.”

“What? Where is this coming from?”

“You fell asleep AGAIN. What was it
this time?”

“I am fucking tired,” she snapped
back.

“Hmm, you don’t do shit but push a
mouse around. It must be exhausting.”

Jordy looked out the window, she
wasn’t taking the bait. It seemed to anger him more.

“It’s the pills. You are taking
them all the time, Jordy. I saw you pop a mouthful before the shoot. If I would
have known you were going to turn into
this
,” he said, pointing at her.
“I would of never fucking given them to you.”

“They were prescribed, you dick! And
yes, I have been overdoing it so I can
fucking
function in Titanland.”

“So what? Now you’re a junkie? I
don’t need a fucking actual junkie in my life, Jordy.”

“Ok, Tite, I hear you.”

“So, give them to me.”

“What? I am not a 19 year old with
a crush that you can order around, you dick. Remember I am the girl who cleaned
up your whiskey puke last week, you hypocrite!”

“Give them to me, Jordy.”

“Fuck
you,
you just shoved a fucking snake in my face. You know how scared I am of them.”

“I don’t need a junkie in my life.
My ex-wife was a junkie, I won’t deal with it.”

“I haven’t
give
you a damn thing to deal with, and if you acted like this prick your being now,
no wonder she had to knock herself out.”

“Bitch, when we get back to the
house, do me a favor and get in your car and take your junkie ass home.”

“Gladly, and if you don’t mind,”
she said opening her pill bottle, “this junkie needs a fix.” She popped two in
her mouth and he grabbed the bottle from her and threw the contents out of the
window.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” she said,
hurling herself at him with all her might. He quickly caught her and pinned her
arms, laughing at her fury.

“I can really relate to any woman
who would find solace in getting fucked up over dealing with you,” she said,
with so much venom in her voice she surprised herself.

He dropped her hands instantly.
“Then go find better.” His eyes went dull.

“I didn’t mean that and now I sound
like
that girl
,” she said, knowing she had just crossed a line.

“I really, really don’t give a
shit,” he said, letting her know she had just sealed her fate.

“Well, we had a good run,” she
said, almost losing her mind at the thought.

He said nothing until they arrived
home. He got out of the truck, leaving her there, feeling so lost. The driver,
Jake, looked at Jordy expectantly. She got out of the truck and ran at him full
force, smacking his back with her fists.

“So fucking easy for you,” she
screamed. “Onto the next one!”

He turned to her, irritated with
the punches he was taking, “KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME JORDY! Who the
fuck do YOU think YOU are? You are no different, you just showed me. I don’t
need this shit. I can get off just as easily with another girl without this
shit.”

“Nothing? I mean nothing to you?”
she said, still screaming but stopping the blows.

“You could of,” he said, walking
into his house, slamming the door behind him.

“Oh, fuck you,” she said, crying at
the door. She wiped her tears quickly and headed for the deck. There was no way
it could end like this. She sat outside, replaying the fight. She was hooked on
the valiums, the Xanax, on whatever calmed her nerves.

She couldn’t function or act normal
around him without them.

He had thrown them away.

She hated him then.

She must have sat there for hours.

He never came to talk, he didn’t
care. He probably didn’t know she was there.

She was lost. She grabbed her keys
out of her purse

when
she
heard him laughing. She walked into the house and saw he was on the phone. When
he saw her, his smiled disappeared and he ended the conversation.

“I thought you left.”

“I wish I had,” she said tightly.
“Don’t worry, I am leaving and I am not going to apologize either, because it
wasn’t me. If you have a problem with something I do, why not talk to me about
it first? I am done with the pills and I guess
we
…
whatever.”

She walked out of the front door,
horrified. She was crying in the driver’s seat and started the car. She saw him
at the front door and he waved her in. They walked toward the elevator and he
grabbed her hand. The doors opened and he grabbed her by the throat and pushed
her against the elevator.

“This is me, telling you, that if
you put your hands on me again, I will
fucking
put my
hands back on you, I am not a gentlemen,” he said, softening his grip on her
throat then kissing her.

“I am no lady,” she said, slapping
him in the face, hard, but playful.

“You just fucked up,” he said as
the elevator doors closed.

The next six months flew by without
incident.

Jordy spent most of her time at his
house when she wasn’t working.

When he wasn’t there, she would use
her time to walk the grounds, use the gym, and use the theater. She took total
advantage of the use of his home.

He was always in the studio, being
brilliant.

He had his routine and Jordy tried
her best not to interfere with it. He would wake up every morning then hit the
gym then straight to the studio. There was rarely a morning they woke up
together.

They had only had one fight since
the shoot and it was minor. He had let his temper get the best of him, but he
quickly caught himself and just left. When he returned, they just let it go.
Jordy couldn’t even remember why they had fought.

Everyday had been a dream. She
would sometimes not see him for a day or two, sometimes a week, and when he
made it home, he was absent. He would wrap himself up completely in his music
and wouldn’t let her in. She didn’t care.

She would patiently wait for him
until it was
their
time.

He would always come back to her as
if he had missed her, as if he had been somewhere and hadn’t seen her in a long
time.

Jordy knew he had a number one love
in his life and it wasn’t her. He was so involved in his music, it consumed
him.

She had watched him record a song a
week ago. She had begged him and begged him and it had been one of the best
days of her life .They had all been good days, but to watch him do it was
surreal.

His talent blew her away, he was
untouchable.

She held onto that day, thinking of
it often.

When they had finished recording he
was tired, but she talked his head off the whole way back to his house.

He finally had to look at her and
say, “Jordy, if you don’t shut the hell up, I am going to have to drop you off
at a bus stop.”

“I was a fan first,” she stared at
him with wide eyed adoration the rest of the way home
As
they pulled up to mansion, he put the car in park and looked at her.

“Okay, let’s hear you spit,” he
said, laughing at her facial expression.

“What, your lyrics? I am not
setting myself up on this one,” she said, terrified.

“You say you are a fan first,
baby,” he said, amusing himself.

“Yeah, like the rest of the world,”
she said, not buying into his game.

“So, come on, give me one verse,”
he said.

“I ain’t a killa, but don’t push
me. Revenge is like the sweetest joy, next to getting pussy,” she laughed,
jumping out of the truck.

“Uh, Jordy, that’s Tupac,” he said,
as if he was correcting her.

“And I was
his
fan, first,”
she said, taunting him.

“You know what Jordy? You are not
nice.”

“And you are no gentlemen,” she
said, throwing his words back at him.

He tackled her onto the grass as
they were making their way to the back deck for dinner. It was getting chilly
outside but it was becoming routine for them to have dinner there.

“Oh shit!” she yelped. He got her
on the ground and pinned her arms behind her.

“You are going to give me one
verse,” he said, not letting up.

“Oh yeah? You’re going to keep me
here until I do?”

“Yep, and you already know my
stamina.”

Without hesitation, she started.

I am just me in the making/

Fucked heart, no soul/

 Ready for the taking/

 And I’ll take it all/

Watch you fall/

Heartbroken/

 Tite flinched a little, then
said, “Jordy, really, that was the worst I have ever heard anybody do. Fucking
ever
.
Why that song?”

“It got me through a bad break up
and it made me mean,”
she
said, “so thanks for that.
Now will you let me up?”

“Yes, if you promise not to ever
spit again, ever,” he said, humor in his voice.

“You asked for it,” she said,
punching him in the arm.

“Yeah, and now I am asking God to
help me
un-
hear it,” he said, as they rounded the side
of the house, hitting the back steps that led to the deck.

“So, you
do
believe in him?”
she asked, serious.

“What? God? Yes,” he said, closing
the subject.

“I wasn’t
that
bad, was I?”
she asked.

“No, you were worse, and I have
heard you sing in the shower, too. It scares me,” he said, chuckling. He eyed
her sitting across from him at the table.

“Well, I have found your flaws,
Tite. You have several, but I found one that sticks out,” she said, smugly.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” he said,
interest peaked.

“You need me,” she said, certain.

“For what?” he said, playing her
game.

“You just need me,” she said, still
serious.

“Well, Ooookay Jordy, I need you,”
he said, antagonizing her.

“This is the real thing,” she said,
looking him right in the eye. She saw him shutting down and stood up.

“Where are you going?” he said,
still reeling from her last statement.

Great, he thought, well here it
comes, all the shit that goes with having a girlfriend.

He was not in the mood.

“I ate everything in the studio
today, I am not hungry and I am tired, Tite. Now that I know you can’t live
without me, I can let you eat dinner by yourself. That’s what you were used to
before me, before us. And when you decide I am right, you can come to bed.”

“What the hell, Jordy? What kind of
bullshit is this?”

 “I am still a woman, Tite. I
just want to hear something, anything that says I am not alone in this. I know
exactly who I am dating and what you are and are not capable of. Just a bone is
all I am asking for.”