TITAN (16 page)

“Please girl, I know more about
this staff than anybody, there are skeletons here that would ruin lives,” he
said, matter of fact.

“This is from Titan,” she said,
waiting on his reaction. She had been dying to tell him, anyone other than
Angie, just for the animated response alone. “We have been dating for almost a
year.”

“TITAN?” Chip shut the door, but
not before heads turned.

“Chip, what the fuck?” she hissed.

“You cannot hit me with that and
expect a damn quiet response. A year? How the hell have I not known about
this?”

“It goes with the package,” she
said, sounding more depressed than excited.

“He’s gone and won’t be back for
another month. It’s horrible and the longest we have ever spent apart.” She
teared up.

Jesus, Jordy get a grip.

For fucks sake, Jordy,” he said,
sitting down. “I thought he never dated. I am not leaving this fucking office
until you tell me everything.”

He walked to the door.

“Melinda, hold all our calls. Jordy
and I are conferencing with Southern for new software,” he said, not giving her
a change to respond. He shut the door and took a seat.

Jordy braced herself. She knew she
would not divulge a damn personal thing about Tite, but at least she could tell
the story of how they met. This would make her happy for a while, to relive some
of it. She started with the K-Stop.

Angie picked her up that night and
Jordy felt like she had repeated today’s story, except this time she didn’t
leave out details. She let Angie know everything. They only changed the subject
twice and both got loaded at Nomo’s. They laughed until they cried at the crazy
stunts Jordy pulled and the embarrassing moments she had.  They got so
drunk. Jordy vowed never to let Angie down again, promising her she would see
her once a week and not to ever let Titan change that. She didn’t notice Tony
walking up, so when he said hi, she was shocked.

“Hi,” she said, happy to see him.
He looked great. She was glad.

“Happy Birthday, Jordy,” he said.
“Hi, Angie.”

She just looked at him and rolled
her eyes, she never liked Tony much.

“I am going to pee, Jordy. Another
beer, another shot for me.”

“Okay,” she said, looking at Angie,
adoring her every move. How she had missed her. “How are you Tony?” she said,
turning to him. “Shouldn’t you be, oh I don’t know, living off of Tite’s money
somewhere on an island?” she said, sarcastically.

“I live here. I work here and I
don’t need his fucking money, you know that. I took it because he took you,” he
said, snapping her out of her buzz.

“I don’t want to fight, Tony.” She
was serious and pleaded with him with her eyes.

“Me neither,” he said, taking
Angie’s stool.

“I shouldn’t have come here.
Technically it’s your place. We will leave.”

She motioned to the bartender for
the check.

“Stay. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,
sorry if you do,” he said, and seemed sincere. “I just wanted to say Happy
Birthday and you look beautiful. Are you still with him?” he asked, carefully.

“Yeah, yeah, I am. It’s actually
the opposite of what you thought, Tony,” she said, cheerful about that fact.

“Don’t know about that, babe, you
might want to pick up a paper,” he said standing up casually and heading away
from the bar.

“Happy Birthday,” he said, smugly.

“Tony?” she said, as if he had just
slapped her.

He turned around but only to give
her a toothy spiteful smile and left.

 He hated her, of that she was
sure of.

When Angie came back, Jordy had
paid the bill and demanded they hit the gas station.

“Did you know?”

 “No Jordy, he’s probably
lying through his teeth. You never see Tite with any woman, let alone in the
papers. He is just trying to ruin your birthday.  Next bar, please.”

Jordy came to a screeching halt at a
gas station and bought every magazine she could find. It only took her two to
see what Tony had been referring to.

“That SON OF A BITCH,” she said,
seeing a picture of Titan with his hand on another woman’s breast, making a
face at a camera as if it was funny.

She recognized the woman as a Gina,
a rapper she had met, who was working with Titan on his new album.

The headline read, “Titan and Gina
a hands on look!”

“They are friends, you know that,
you just talked to me about that,” Angie said, sounding irritated. “The
tabloids will ruin you both. Trust him, you have to.”

Jordy’s phone rang. It was him and
she picked up right away.

“Gina’s boob, Tite? You haven’t
been photographed with a woman for years and when you do, you are grabbing
Gina’s shit?” she yelled.

“Well, I would ask you how you were
doing on your birthday but maybe I should ask TONY!” He was screaming.

“What the fuck, Tite? You are
having me followed?”

She was beside herself. She was so
furious.

“So, how is Tony?” he said, nothing
but hatred in his voice.

“He hates me,” she snapped.

“Not what I heard. I heard it was all
smiles,” he said, ripping her with every word.

“Well, I guess you could say it was
more civil than titty grabbing,” she said, foaming at the mouth.

“That was us clowning and we knew
cameras were there. You, on the other hand, had no idea, and you bat eyelashes
at that motherfucker?”

He was livid.

“Tite, he’s not the competition,
and I can’t believe you are so mad. It’s fucking
ridiculous,
whoever you have watching me should have told you. The minute I exchanged words
with him, I left,” she said, hoping that was what was reported.

“Yeah, but you spoke to him. Wasn’t
that your place? The bar where he was going to
propose
?”

“Yes, you’re right. I just didn’t
want to go to a club, and I hadn’t… You know what? Let’s not fight, please. I
want to thank you for my present. I love it and….”

“Save it. You know how I feel about
trust, Jordy.”

“You fucking hypocrite! Let me take
a picture grabbing his dick, and publicize it. Then we’re even.” She regretted
the words as soon as she said them. The phone went dead almost immediately.

She quickly texted him.

I am sorry if that pissed you off, but I
really didn’t think about him, at all. I think about you, and you know that.
Thank you for the beautiful gift. I love it, I love you. Please baby call me
back.

She hoped he had gotten it.

She was sobbing now, this was
horrible.

She felt Angie hug her and almost
forgot she was there.

“He… he… he thinks I went to Nomo’s
to see Tony!”

She sobbed.

“Sometimes I wonder if
he
even knows who the hell he is,” she said, almost sure he didn’t.

Angie switched seats and drove her
to her apartment. Jordy was glad, she didn’t know where Tite stood now, and she
had no idea if he still wanted her at his house at all. She was in for it
again.

He didn’t call her at all, not one
time. She was sure he was done with her. But she went back his house anyway, as
he asked her to.

The staff was still keeping tabs on
her. That was her only indication that he might still care.

 She had texted him twice.

Please, Tite, don’t do this to us. Don’t
do this to me
.

When a week went, by she tried to
call him, but got his voice mail.

She left a message.

“I love you, don’t fuck this up.”

She was angry then. Still, he
didn’t bother.

The day he was due to come back, she
went to the studio. She was beside herself with excitement.

Jessie walked up to her, having
returned first.

“He’s not coming back for another
week, Jordy,” Jessie said, knowing how badly this would hurt her.

“Does he even want me at his house,
Jessie?” she asked, desperate for any insight.

“I don’t know, Jordy. He’s been a
little rough around the edges lately,” he said.

“It’s because he’s not with me!”
she said, positive that was it.

“Can you please ask him for me,
Jessie? Please? I don’t want to be there if he doesn’t want me there. Don’t let
him make a fool out of me again,” she said. This time she let the tears fall.

“I have to get back to work. I took
the day off, but
I
…” She walked away quickly.

“Text me, Jessie, okay? I just
don’t want to be
her
again.”

She looked back and he nodded as if
he understood.

She watched the clock and waited
for Jessie’s text, which never came. She resolved she was already so deep in
this, she would see it through. She slept on the couch at his home until the
day came, then another day, then another. She decided to go home,
for good
the next day. She was realizing it was really over.

She boxed up all her stuff and let
herself walk the grounds, feeling the memories, feeling the pain. She stood at
the spot where she had told him she loved him, three and a half months before.
She let herself cry.

She walked downstairs with her last
box the next morning, ready to do the only thing she had left to do, leave and
let him go.

He walked in the door and caught
her eye.

She froze, waiting on him to say
something. He looked terrible, eyes dark and sunken
in,
due to lack of sleep she was sure. He looked pale and thin.

They stood there, staring at each
other like they always do, neither moving.

Jordy, gathering all her strength,
was the first to speak.

“Thanks, baby, for the mouse. It is
beautiful. I love the necklace,” she said, shifting the weight of the box to
one arm and grabbing it and fidgeting with it.

“I have been waiting a month and a
half to tell you that. I figured I would reward myself for my patience.” She
looked at him and let him see her hurt for a brief second and then started down
the stairs again.

“This is the last box. I was stupid
for hanging on as long as I did.  I am sorry I wasn’t gone when you got
here.”

She stopped right in front of him,
box still in hand. She nudged past him, heading toward the front door.

“Come on, Phillip, talk to me.
Whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as you think,” she said, leading him
outside, toward her truck.

“When the hell did I become
Phillip?” he asked, sarcastically.

“When you met this mouse pusher.”

“So, I am not Tite anymore?” he
said, sounding confused.

“Have you ever really been Tite
with me?” she asked.

“No.”

The realization shocked him. He had
always been Phillip with her, from the start of their relationship. He never
treated her the way he had every other woman in his life. He was in complete
shock and he stared at Jordy like she had just shot him.

Tunez’s words came back to haunt
him. “It’s okay to let go.”

“Are you going to say anything to
me, Tite?” she said, still carrying the box, rounding the front of her truck.

“Jordy,” he said, walking close
behind her as if he was trying to tell her something.

“Nope, Tite. I told you to LIE,
remember? I told you if you did anything wrong to LIE to me, and I would
believe you and I would still love you, you stupid son of a bitch.”

She slammed the box in her Tahoe
and turned around to glare at him.

He looked at her again, lost,
guilty.

“Jesus, what an idiot I am. I spent
almost four months, living just for you. No, actually a full year. Let’s be
honest.

“I should have called you, I should
have tried harder. I got caught up in the road and all the shit that goes with
it. I am sorry I just stopped.”

“This is why you didn’t come back
on time? Let me guess, part of it was you fucking another woman, right? Or
women? Couldn’t face me? What the hell was your reasoning? Just leave her at
your house? Heartbroken and crying? Maybe she will just go away? Did you forget
you asked me to stay here, wait for you? Be the queen of your
castle
?”

“Jordy, I won’t ever leave again
without you, if you stay. I didn’t fuck other women. I didn’t fuck anyone. I
just couldn’t be with you and be there. It was too hard after that night I
heard you were with Tony,” he said, desperate.

“I was with
Angie
, having
drinks on my birthday,” she said, angry. “There is no excuse, NONE, for taking
yourself away from me. You know I was honest about that and everything else.
You pick me up and put me down. It doesn’t seem to bother you, so I guess I was
wrong about everything. I just wanted you to acknowledge me, call me, text me,
give me a reason to be here.”

She brushed past him and snow
started to fall heavily

“Damn it, I have been waiting for
this, and I wanted to walk the grounds in the snow.”

“Jordy, I fucked up again, and I
hurt you again, and I swore I wouldn’t, but I always will hurt you, always.”

“You forget Tite.
I
promised
myself you would never hurt me like this again.
I
won’t let you. Once
again, it’s not what you did. It’s the way you did it. But you did it well this
time. I learned to live without you, so, thanks for that.”

“Jordy. Please go back to being
Jordy,” he said, annoyed.

“What is it you want from me, Tite?
To throw my arms around you tell you I missed you? Fuck your brains out? I
can’t do that now.”

She was floored that he had the
nerve to be rude, almost demanding.

“I was losing my mind over there,
over you. I spent the rest of this time trying to keep business, the show is a
priority and all I could think of is you.”