To Be a Family (Harlequin Superromance) (23 page)

She jumped to her feet, clutching a cushion to her stomach. If
that was true, why didn’t it make her happy? She’d been happy, briefly, when she
thought she had a second chance at the love of her life.

That second chance had just imploded in front of her eyes.

He’d asked her to marry him. She’d turned him down. Was she
crazy?

No! Crazy would be giving up a great job, her own home, family
and friends to go to a remote island with a man who let her down so badly she
still hadn’t recovered seven years later.

But she loved him, even more now than she did back then. She
had to get to the bottom of what was holding her back.

Her conversation with Riley and Paula had raised a few issues.
Maybe she had more baggage than she’d thought. Maybe she was stuck, not just in
regards to John, but further back. There was only one person who could give her
the answers she needed. Katie grabbed her purse and headed back to her car.

Fifteen minutes later she peered inside the open double doors
of the Men’s Shed, a meeting place where men of all ages got together to build,
repair, chin-wag and do other guy stuff. She scanned the long workbench along
one wall, looking for her father.

The whine of a power saw vied with industrious hammering. No
one would hear her knock so she walked in, passing a young fellow covered in
tattoos nailing pieces of wood together and an elderly man painting a wooden
rocking horse in dappled gray.

Her father was bent over the power saw, safety goggles and face
mask protecting him from the wood shavings that flew off as the saw bit through
the piece of timber. She waited until he’d finished making the cut before
touching his shoulder.

“Hey, Dad. Susan told me where I could find you.”

Her father pulled down the mask and pushed the goggles up onto
his gray brush cut. “Katie. What brings you here?”

Katie understood why he might be surprised. She got along with
her father, she just never sought him out. “I’ve finished my book and I’m at a
loose end. What are you making?”

“I’m cutting out pieces for an Adirondack chair.” He nodded to
a stack of slats on the concrete floor next to the saw. “Making a set for Riley
and Paula’s wedding present.”

“That’s nice.” She glanced at the far side of the shed. An urn
was bubbling in the small kitchen and comfy chairs provided a setting for coffee
breaks. “Want to grab a cuppa?”

Barry flipped the switch on the saw and covered the blade with
the safety shield. Brushing sawdust from his faded navy overalls, he led the way
to the coffee area. “Is everything all right?”

“Fine.” She glanced over her shoulder. Some of the guys were
looking in their direction. “Is it okay that I’m here? Will the men freak out at
a woman in their shed?”

“Nah, no worries.” Barry handed her a mug of steaming brew.
“But we can go outside. Get some fresh air.”

A couple of kitchen chairs were parked in a sunny spot between
the gravel driveway and a tall hedge. Katie took a seat and stretched out her
legs. “Still quite warm for this time of year.”

Her father sat upright, his squared shoulders not touching the
chair back. He gave her a shrewd glance over his mug’s thick white rim. “You
didn’t come to talk about the weather.”

“No.” But now that she had his attention, she didn’t know how
to start. How did she ask personal questions about her dad’s relationship with
her mother? There simply wasn’t a precedent for it in their reserved family.

“I hear you and John are back together,” he said, when she
didn’t speak.

“Not anymore. He just got a job in Tinman Island.” Trying to
explain where she and John were at proved just as difficult as talking about her
parents. “He asked me to marry him and go with him.”

Her father’s grizzled eyebrows drew together. “I take it you
said no. Don’t you love him?”

“I do, but…” Katie gazed past the road, beyond the fields and
the bordering pine trees to the blue water of the bay. “Summerside is my home. I
don’t want to leave.”

Her father snorted. “In the army I was stationed all over the
country and beyond the borders. Your mother didn’t like that much but as long as
we were together, that was home. Of course that was before Riley and you were
born. Once you two started school I applied for a desk job so we could settle in
one spot.”

“I didn’t know that.” She was surprised, knowing how much he’d
loved active soldiering.

“Your mother insisted.” Barry gave a gruff harrumph. “She was
right, as she usually was when it came to you kids.”

“You were devoted to her, weren’t you?” Katie leaned forward.
“You would have done anything for her. I don’t recall you and her ever
fighting.”

Her father gave her another shrewd glance. “Did you and John
have a fight?”

She nodded, swirling the dregs of her coffee. “I know it’s
unrealistic to expect a couple will always agree, but he argues without talking
it through to a resolution.”

“Talk is cheap,” Barry grunted.

“Maybe, but I can’t imagine you and Mum ever letting an issue
go unresolved.”

“I wasn’t much good at flowery words or the finer points of
debating. Not much good at apologies either. When we had a fight, after I cooled
down I changed the brake pads on her car or fixed the broken step.” Her father
twisted on his chair to face Katie directly. “Does he take care of you? Is he
there when you need him?”

“That’s rather the point—he wasn’t, not when I had cancer,”
Katie said. “But when Mum decided not to have a third round of chemotherapy you
supported her. You stayed by her side and held her hand through that whole
terrible ordeal. You didn’t argue and fight and then just take off.”

“I stayed because I loved her but I also had no choice. There
was you and Riley to look after. Believe me, that was no picnic. Your mum had
done most of the parenting till then. I was too much of a hothead,
too…regimented…she used to say. As for us not fighting, where did you get that
idea? We used to have some doozies—over how to raise you kids, where to live,
and yes, even her treatment. I wanted her to have more chemo. I ranted and
raved, I yelled and cussed. She wouldn’t listen.” His voice broke. “She was a
stubborn, stubborn woman.”

Katie couldn’t speak. She was in shock. “When did this happen?
I never heard you guys fighting. Not once. Not a peep.”

“Course you didn’t!” Barry sat up even straighter. “Let the
children hear the parents argue?” He harrumphed again. “Bad for discipline. Bad
for morale. We ‘discussed’ things while you were at school.”

“I had no idea,” Katie said, shaking her head.

Barry cleared his throat and looked at the sky, his craggy face
twisted by grief. “I tried everything I could to keep your mother safe. And
then…I couldn’t anymore.” He swallowed hard, his voice gruff. “Feeling helpless
isn’t easy for a man.”

“It’s not easy for anyone.” Katie scooted her chair over and
put a hand on his shoulder. She hesitated, then laid her head there, as she
hadn’t since she was a little girl. A tear rolled down her cheek. “I miss
Mum.”

He put an arm around her and squeezed. “I do, too. Susan’s a
wonderful woman. Don’t get me wrong, I love her dearly—”

“I understand. You don’t have to explain.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t a better parent, both before and after your
mother died,” he went on. “That was one of our sticking points. She thought I
was turning home into a kiddie’s boot camp. I thought she was too soft.”

Katie sat up and wiped her eyes. It all sounded so familiar.
“How did you compromise?”

“We didn’t. She took over raising you and your brother. I
played a support role. After she was gone I struggled, not knowing you kids, not
knowing how to handle you.” He bowed his head. “Guess I was an absent parent a
lot of the time.”

Katie was silent. His emotional absence had been another wound
in the aftermath of her mother’s death. Something she hadn’t thought about for
years. Now she recalled wishing he would love her half as much as he’d loved her
mother. With Mum gone, her father absent through grief and her brother going
through puberty with no time for his little sister, she’d felt…abandoned. As if
she wasn’t worthy of love, as if she couldn’t count on anyone to be there for
her.

Only by constructing fantasies of a love so pure and perfect as
what she believed her father felt for her mother had she gotten through her teen
years. And who had her fantasies centered on?

John.

She buried her face in her hands. The poor man. She’d had
visions of a relationship free of pain and conflict, the perfect marriage.
Nobody could have lived up to her expectations.

But she’d tested him. Oh, yes, over and over. And found him
wanting. So in a self-fulfilling prophecy she’d unconsciously pushed him away
until even he abandoned her.

What he’d said was true. She’d condemned him before he had a
chance to prove himself. She hadn’t looked at it that way before. Even before
she got sick. Not setting a wedding date, avoiding conversations about the
future, brushing him off when he tried to make plans about where they would
live. He’d wanted to travel and live in other cities back then, too. She’d
refused to even entertain the idea. Her insistence on having her own way was
just a ploy to make him continuously prove his love for her. Even now, he was
being so generous, giving her everything he could possibly think of to help her
and to make a family. And once again, she was pushing him away. He wanted one
thing for himself,
one thing,
to have a crack at a
different kind of job. And she’d refused to compromise. Oh, God. What had she
done?

“I’m a horrible, horrible person.”

“No, you’re wonderful.” Her father rubbed her back. “You’re
warm and generous and loving. And strong. You and Riley turned out bloody good
considering how badly I messed up as a parent. We can thank your mother for
that.”

“You were the one who got us through our teen years. You are a
very good father.” Katie put her arms around him and hugged hard. “Don’t ever
doubt that. I love you, Dad.”

“Love you, too,” he said gruffly. Then he tipped up her chin
and gave her a stern gaze. “You’ve got some of your mother’s stubbornness in
you. Be careful you don’t push him too far. John loves you but there’s only so
much a man can take.”

“I know.” She jumped to her feet and hugged her dad again.
“I’ve got to talk to him. Before it’s too late.”

As Katie hurried away from the Men’s Shed she pulled her out
her phone and punched in John’s number. She wanted to hear his voice, tell him
she loved him, tell him she would go with him to the ends of the earth. Oh, they
had a few things to work out, make no mistake, but she loved him.

And where there was love, there was hope.

After four rings her call went to voice mail. She stared at the
screen. He
always
kept his phone on, even through
the night when he was sleeping. He was always available—for Tuti, for his
family, for the police station. For her.

She rang the station. He wasn’t there. Patty was on her day off
and the temp didn’t know where he was. Riley and Paula were out of the
office.

He might be at his parents’ house but she didn’t have their
phone number. She pulled out of the Men’s Shed driveway and pointed her car in
the direction of their house.

Alison would know. But would Alison tell?

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

J
OHN
HELD
T
UTI
’
S
hand as
they went through airport security, keeping her close among the throngs of
passengers coming and going. They’d checked their bags and were on their way to
the departure lounge.

He glanced at his watch. They had plenty of time. Getting to
the airport early had seemed a better option than another hour moping around his
town house over leaving Katie.

Tuti stopped dead, planting her pink jelly sandals on the shiny
tiles. Her thin shoulders shifted beneath her backpack, heavy with books and
toys. “I didn’t say goodbye to Katie.”

He’d already explained the whole thing to her twice. Patiently,
he crouched in the middle of the concourse. “We’re just going to look at our new
house so we can decide what furniture to have shipped up. We’ll be back in a
couple of days.”

“Can I bring Mummy’s spirit house?” Tuti asked anxiously.

“Of course. Don’t forget we’re going to get you a puppy. Won’t
that be nice?”

“What about Katie?” Tuti’s eyes grew shiny. “Is Katie coming
with us?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Katie is staying in Summerside. Her job
is at the school. She can’t leave her students, or her family.”

“But I love her. I don’t want to leave her.”

John drew his daughter into a hug. All of a sudden he didn’t
want to leave, either. But he had to.

* * *

K
ATIE
TUGGED
DOWN
her blouse and smoothed a hand through her hair.
Then she rang the doorbell of Alison and Marty’s house. She waited, long enough
to admire the white and red geraniums in big pots and the flourishing garden
beds and trim green lawn. Her finger was poised to ring the bell again when the
door opened. Alison was dressed formidably in a blue silk dress that set off her
coiffed blond hair. Expensive perfume drifted into the fresh outdoors. Damn, she
was hoping she would get Marty.

“Hey, Alison,” Katie began. “I—”

The older woman crossed her arms, her wrists and fingers heavy
with gold. “He’s not here.”

Katie started to count to ten. She only made it to five. “Can
you tell me where he is?”

“Why should I? So you can dig your knife a little deeper? Maybe
give it a good hard twist? I thought you were different this time. I was
starting to like you again.”

“I need to see him. Please.”

“Why?”

God, this woman was hard. But she supposed she would be, too,
if she were defending her child. She made an effort to soften her voice. “I want
to accept his marriage proposal.” To her horror, tears sprang to her eyes. She
gave up all pretense. “Oh, Alison. I love him. I made a mistake and I need to
tell him so.”

“My dear.” Alison dropped her hard veneer. “He’s gone to the
airport with Tuti. They’re on their way to Tinman Island.”

“They’re not moving so soon!” Katie exclaimed.

“No, they’re just going for the weekend, to look over the place
and see their new house.”

“Well, I need to be there, too, because I’m going to be living
there with them.” Katie dug her car keys out. “When is their flight?”

“Not till one-thirty this afternoon.” Alison glanced at the
regulator clock on the foyer wall. “If you hurry you might make it.” Katie was
halfway down the steps when Alison added, “Good luck!”

Katie ran back up the steps, ignoring the twinge in her ankle,
and hugged Alison. “I won’t hurt him ever again, I promise.”

The sixty-minute drive to the airport was a nightmare. Why
couldn’t she simply blink her eyes and find herself in the departure lounge, the
way it happened in the movies? But no, there had to be an accident on the
on-ramp to the freeway. And farther along, construction slowed traffic.

When she finally made it to the airport she parked askew across
two spaces and raced inside the Domestic Terminal. She quickly bought a ticket
and sped through check-in, easier since she had no luggage. Thank God, luck was
with her and there were spare seats on the flight.

Reining in her impatience long enough to clear security, she
grabbed her handbag off the conveyer belt and ran down the concourse. Naturally
the departure lounge she wanted was at the very end. Puffing and panting, she
came to a halt among the milling passengers lining up to go aboard.

“Katie! Katie!” Tuti jumped up and down on the spot. She tugged
on John’s arm. “
Bapa,
look!” Then she started to
run.

Katie held open her arms. Tuti slammed into her, her backpack
nearly throwing them both off balance. Katie scooped her up and hugged her
tightly. “Oh, my goodness. I thought you’d left without me.”

“I missed you.” Tuti had a stranglehold on her neck. “I missed
you so much. And we’re not even gone yet.”

“I’m coming with you.” Katie gave her another hug and let her
slide to the floor. John was three feet away looking like he was seeing a
ghost.

“Hey,” she said, suddenly nervous. “I know this is a horrible
cliché, running to the airport at the last moment. But I had to tell you
something.”

The other passengers filed slowly toward the Jetway.

“What did you want to tell me?” John asked.

She took a big breath. “I accept. I will marry you. I will come
with you to Tinman Island.”

John just stood there, his jaw working.

“Please say something.”

He shook his head. For one horrible moment she thought he was
refusing her. Then he took a giant stride forward and she was in his arms, her
face pressed into his shirt. He rocked her back and forth. She couldn’t speak
either for the tightness in her chest that closed up her throat.

He cupped her face and kissed her all over. “Katie, Katie. I
thought I’d lost you forever.”

“No, no, the opposite. You’ve got me forever.” She searched his
face. “If you still want me?”

“Don’t ever doubt it. I love you. I’ve never stopped loving
you.”

“
Bapa
. Katie,” a little voice said.
“People going.”

“I love you.” She rained kisses on his nose, his jaw of golden
stubble, his beautiful mouth. “I need you.”

“Last call for passengers of Flight QF68. Your flight is now
boarding. Last call for…”

Katie broke apart and looked around. The departure lounge was
empty. A pretty flight attendant, her auburn hair pulled into a bun, waited
patiently at the entrance to the Jetway.

“Bapa!”
Tuti tugged on his hand.
“We have to go!”

“Have you got a boarding pass?” John asked as they hurried
forward.

Katie fished it out of her purse. In a last-minute flurry they
ran down the Jetway and went on board. The flight attendant closed the hatch
behind them.

“Oh, no, we won’t get to sit together,” Katie said.

The attendant reached for their passes. “Let me see what I can
do.”

A businessman moved into Katie’s seat and she was able to take
his place. Tuti wanted the window so she could watch “the ground go away.” Katie
sat in the middle.

John still couldn’t quite believe she was here beside him. When
he’d looked across the departure lounge and seen her hurrying toward him he’d
thought his imagination had conjured her out of his longing.

Could it really be true? Was Katie his at last?

The airplane began to back onto the runway. John twisted in his
seat to kiss her. “Are you sure about us? I couldn’t take it if you backed out
now. Tuti couldn’t take it.”

“I won’t,” she said earnestly. “I’ve worked out some
things…about my past, my mother’s death.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“I realized that all my life I’ve been waiting for the other
shoe to drop. I thought that because my mother died of cancer, because I had it
so young, that sooner or later I would get it again. And die, like she did.”
Katie’s eyes filled. “But that’s not necessarily true. And anyway, I can’t live
like that. I have to live bravely, with courage.”

“You’re braver than you give yourself credit for.”

Now the airplane was trundling down the runway. The flight
attendant came by and made sure their seat belts were fastened. Katie helped
Tuti with hers then turned to John.

“How did you know my mother had the gene that predisposed her
to breast cancer?”

“My mother told me a few years ago. Your mother must have told
her. They used to have coffee together when Riley and I were little and we
needed our mums to take us to play at each other’s houses.”

He wiped away the moisture clinging to her lower lid. “You
could get the genetic testing. That might ease your mind.”

“Or depress the hell out of me.” She lifted her chin. “But
you’re right, it’s better to know. I’ll do it.” Then she frowned. “And if it’s
positive…”

“We’ll deal with that if and when we come to it.”

She turned his hand over and traced the veins on his wrist. “I
will
promise that if I ever do get cancer again
I’ll do everything possible to get well.” She met his gaze, her eyes shining. “I
don’t want to leave you and Tuti. I know how devastating that feels.”

He folded her hand in his and brought it to his lips. “And I
promise you that if you’re ever sick again for whatever reason I won’t leave
you, not even if you push me away.”

“I pushed you away because I was afraid of dying and leaving
you behind—you and any children we might have. I won’t ever do that again. We’ve
missed too many good years being apart.”

“We’ll make up for that, don’t you worry.”

The airplane picked up speed as it moved down the runway.

Tuti glanced around, excited. “
Bapa,
Katie, we’re going fast!” Then she pressed her nose to the
window again.

Katie’s deep brown eyes sparkled. “November sixteenth.”

John was at a loss. That was months away. “What about it?”

“Our wedding day. You wanted me to pick a date. That’s what I
choose. We always wanted a spring wedding.” Softly she added, “Remember?”

He remembered their plans, the dreams they’d shared. His throat
closed thinking of how they could start making new plans, for themselves and
Tuti. And children of their own.

He smiled. “I suppose you think you can rule the roost now that
you’ve made me the happiest man alive.”

“Well,” she said coyly. “I do have some conditions.”

“I knew it.” He braced himself as g-forces pressed him against
the seat back. The plane was nearing takeoff.

“I want Tuti to practice on the boogie board in a pool before
she goes in the ocean again.”

“Is that all? Whew, I’m getting off lightly.”

“There’s more.”

He began to roll his eyes until he realized she’d turned
serious. Outside the engines were screaming at high rev. “Go on.”

“I know now that my parents didn’t have a conflict-free
marriage. But fighting upsets me. And to leave issues unresolved goes against my
grain. I need to talk things through before I feel better. I need a period of
talking without anger before I’m ready to…” she lowered her voice to a whisper
“…make love.”

The plane left the ground.

John let out his breath. “I’ll remember.” He brushed a lock of
hair away from her eyes. “I hope you’ll remember that just because I get mad
sometimes and we fight doesn’t mean I don’t still love you.”

“Can I get that in writing?”

“I’ll have it tattooed on my forehead if it will make you
believe in yourself and in my love.”

“I believe.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with making the move to Tinman
Island?”

“Que sera sera,”
she said airily.
“I’m looking forward to taking time off from teaching, to give myself a shot at
this writing gig. And I want you to find the challenge you need in your life. I
want to support you, be by your side every step of the way.”

“In that case, Katykins, or should I call you Lizzy, we’ll have
to go on more adventures to give you something to write about.”

Katie grinned. “Bring it on. I have a feeling being married to
you will be my greatest adventure yet.”

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt of
The Road to
Bayou Bridge
by Liz Talley!