To John (12 page)

For John, Ana wrote.

"Peter, the Buddhist, game me his
new mobile number. He said he is on the move."

Ana wrote down a little diary for
herself.

'Unprecedented. Putting the last
before the first. If I remember what I did today, I will be in a
permanent shock state. I will forget and do the same thing again
and again. I think I'm thick, cursed and lucky. Lucky? Hang on. Not
sure about that. What did I do today? I bought morning pills and
folic acid both. What did I actually do today? I moved a universe.
My little universe, which can be synchronized with the big
universe. I am two weeks and a day pregnant.'

"Ana, are you ok? Carl."

"I'm fine. Why?"

"You are quiet."

"I'm ok. And you?"

"Fine. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Ok. Let me know if you need any
help."

"Tanks."

Ana did not like the ultra
sensitive nose of her brother. He sensed something. And he got so
angry when his girl friend had an abortion without telling him.

'I should tell Henry. He has a
right to know. He married me. God knows why. Autistic, radiated
and, and what? He is out again for the company dinner. I will see
him tomorrow morning.'

14 Jan 2015

"IMF gave US Fed a warning to
postpone the interest rate increase."

"IMF gave US a warning just before
the government shutdown in 2013."

"1.90%
45
/barrel: countdown
started: 13 days left."

Something funny, Ana thought.

'Former Goldman banker joins bond
venture. Debt trading platform looks to resolve lack of liquidity
in credit markets.'

'Anyway, my motto for today: Enjoy
the nice life while it lasts. Basically stand up or sit down. You
have a shit almost every day but you don't think about it all day.
Do you? If you do, you have a problem with your bowl movement.'

A little paragraph from the Last
Book, which Ana read time to time.

'Energetically, you have to laugh
until your belly button is out. Meaning: perfection of Ren Mai,
conception vessel. Your umbilical cord was cut when you were born.
In order to be reborn, this navel has to be sealed and the front
line has to be connected.'

Ana thought,

'Nothing to laugh. I rather feel
like I have ME syndromes. Too sleepy. Cannot think of anything
properly. Is this that pregnancy brain?'

Another little paragraph.

'Six pillars from the heaven. Six
types of energy (similar to quarks with different directions) are
coming down. The earth is acting like a black hole as I am here. It
contracts the energy from outer universe and from different
dimensions. For us, human, when the energy is passing through, as
the energy is so strong, it feels like metal bars are penetrating
our body, including brain, eye balls, and vertebrae. In old days,
people described them as monsters, devils or mysterious snakes or
dragons. If the energy stays in the body, it disturbs brain
activity and causes enormous, unidentified pain. In western term,
it is called neuralgia, which means 'unidentified bunch of pain
with unknown cause. In worst case, it can cause choking. Call me a
Dyson. The principle is the same. Create vacuum with spinning for
cleaning.'

She took a nap and read some
emails.

"John, John, did you hear that
about JPMorgan? Oh, dear... I know my friends complained about the
legal f****** system there."

"Good for us."

"You mean you brits? Ho Ho...
Schadenfreude."

"What?"

"They deserve it. If you remember
what they did in 2011..."

'In January 2011, JPMorgan Chase
admitted that it wrongly overcharged several thousand military
families for their mortgages, including active duty personnel in
Afghanistan.' (Wikipedia)

'One stumbling down. Three more
left. Bank of America, Citigroup and Wells Fargo. Wells Fargo is as
stinky as Warren Buffett. BoA and Citi got severely fined last
year. Why not WF? I have to ask.'

'Answer: Wells Fargo Securities
was established in 2009... after 2008 credit crunch. Dirty dogs.
They ate the shit. The shit was called Century Bank based in
Dallas.'

'The real question is why American
government is choking their own banks so much. The answer is
simple. They do need money. As there is not an apparent war, they
cannot sell weapons. Oil trade got stuck. Companies are leaving...
My question is why America still keeps NASA which is the product of
cold war and the money-sucking monster. '

She cooked some Pilau rice and
Chicken Korma. Then she remembered.

'Former Goldman banker joins bond
venture. Debt trading platform looks to resolve lack of liquidity
in credit markets: Why did I find this funny? Something funny. What
was it? I simply cannot understand the phrase. It does not make
sense. Everybody is ready to pack to leave. Resolve what? Resolve
lack of liquidity? Where? In credit markets? I bet whoever wrote
this had no idea about the reality or basic economic jargons. Bond
venture? Darling, it's bond Ad-venture. There was someone who
washed their hands the other day. There was someone quite famous. I
can't remember the name. Thomas? No, he was killed. Who was it?
Can't nimember. Am I going to be dumber and dumber? I didn't tell
to Henry. I was about to tell him. But he said something
like...'

"What are you going to do todya?
You seem to have rather a nice time. It won't last long."

'He winked but he got on my
nerves. His habitual and unnatural wink. So I did not tell him. I
am waiting for a right time to shock him to death. A monster.'

15 Jan 2015

"10yr bond and oil decoupling. The
end of the affair. 10yr is like Anna in Tolstoy's. She threw
herself in the train track."

'Knowledge needed to prevent
Lehman repeat: Do not increase the interest rate until you cut the
NASA budget in half.'

"Morning, let's do some raking
today, no?"

'Financial Reporting Council is
backed up by UK government. Meaning: they have an authority
connected to HMRC. An undercover inspector and PR agent for secure
investment plus tax benefits.'

"If you do not break through
today, find someone else to help you."

A simple phrase from the Last
Book.

'Sorry to use you as an indicator.
I like to see whether you are evolved enough to follow me. My show
is over. It's my turn to see your show. Or did I see enough of it
already? Then, why am I still here? It is not a question. I will
decide. I know I can decide. My body will decide. The pain will
decide. The pain comes from the difference between this world and
the world where I came from. Too much pain? I can't stay.
Simple.'

"Ana, did you read the news?
Properly? Carl."

"Sort of."

"Scan it again and report it to
me."

"You are not my boss."

"If you know how much is on stake,
I am."

"I can't see anything else than
FRC. Hang on, partial shutdown of space station. Not very
interesting."

"Tanks. Enough."

Ana briefly thought,

'It sounds like CIA joined to get
rid of that useless NASA. Harmful leak... Get rid of it. You can
get some cash to sort out a lot of problems. The second Lehman?
This time, you will have a fecaloma, cancer in the rectum. Pain in
the ass. Let's talk about the massive exodus of the clients.'

'I did not know that Lehman was
the fourth-largest investment bank in the US behind Goldman Sachs,
Morgan Stanley, and Merrill Lynch.'

'Who goes first this time? I don't
think Henry can help this time.'

From yesterday's news,

'Former Goldman banker joins bond
venture...'

'Goldman Sachs? Perhaps. JP morgan
got fined. Merrill Lynch is left.'

'Merrill Lynch is the wealth
management division of Bank of America. (Wikipedia) Oh dear.'

The above are Ana's fragmented
thoughts.

"Carl, how much you deal, you
cannot be my boss as I am holding your neck, Ana."

16 Jan 2015

"Credit Swisse has a database
problem, which is more serious than the monetary policy."

"I will keep my mobile, as Samsung
will buy it."

A paragraph from the book.

'My right eye is full of fury. My
left eye is full of sorrow. I have a split brain. When the two
robes are connected, I turn into nothing, playing this repetitive
mindless game of my own.'

"I don't want to go back to that
bloody sissy school."

It was a girl's only boarding
school.

"I want to go to university."

"Ana, you are only seven. Carl is
seventeen."

"He asked me to do his homework.
He paid me for that. I can read his books."

Ana had horrible time from both
her mum and Carl that day.

She remembered that day and sent a
message to Carl.

"If I work for you, how much you
can pay me?"

"Are you going to get
divorced?"

"No... I need an incentive. A real
money."

"How much is Henry's salary? I
will pay the double."

"Cool."

Then Ana felt her heart sunk
again. She opened the weird book randomly.

'I will get used to my death. I
heard someone said a year left. I thought I had just a day left.
What the heck. Every day, I passed the death. Physically, the
energy which went through my neck could have easily kill me if I
wanted.'

Ana thought the same thing.

'What the heck.'

That night she had an another
heavy bleeding. She did not feel sad. She felt rather refreshed.
She was glad that she did not tell Henry. She had to ask Henry how
much he earns per a month.

"Carl, you should give me some
basic information too. Vice versa. Why did Barak call Dave a bro?
Why did he let him stay at the Blair house? A mere prime minister
used to stay at a embassy or a hotel, no?"

"All about money."

"I will wait for you. But what
money?"

"A lot of money, sis."

'About the Swiss Franc, they
deserve it. They are not the financial hub anymore. The details of
their clients are exposed thanks to their negligence of keeping up
the up to date technology. They are fucked. No wonder about that
Swiss currency.'

'My question: if you have a lot
money, would you put it in one of Swiss banks? No. I saw the
measurement policy of Switzerland today. Too volatile. I want
somewhere more secure, more steady. With more technology, which can
protect my money.'

17 Jan 2015

"What's this mess? I told you to
wash your hands from the bond. Carl, are you demented?"

"John, forget about that 4 months
business. I am fine. Full stop."

"Are you sure? You ok?"

"I said fine. Actually I feel
better. I got my brain back. See you tomorrow as usual. By the way,
never mind the Swiss thingi. Just desperate they are as there was
an exodus of their clients. Of coure if they have a problem with
data base and they are negligent about it, who would stay?"

"Still, take a good rest. I don't
know about female stuffs. But I remember Kate ate a lot of steaks
and spinach."

"Ok."

A simple phrase from the book.

'I will take you with me. I die,
you die. Can you wait for me?'

Ana read something and she got
it.

'Something is explained here. I
always wondered why Mark Carney is so restricted. I did not know
that George is an aristocrat. I thought his name is Ozzy. As an
aristocrat, of course, he has no idea what is going on. Will he
keep the Bank of England in shadow as Brown did? Just watching
their banks being gobbled up by sharks and their currency drowning
in deep water? Can he understand what is like to decide to take the
cap off and put your currency in a turmoil? £8 bn for banker's
bonus? You're joking... Death of BOE... if you don't do something
about the Sterling now, 2008 can be repeated. All the similar
conditions are ready. Bubbles are there, Fischer is there, the
chart is there. You cannot see what is coming?'

She is glad that she is not
pregnant any more. This kind of thing could easily trigger her to
have a miscarriage.

18 Jan 2015

"I submitted my tax return 2014.
And you?"

'I do not know how to console me.
There is this scary bottomless emptiness. No pleasure, no sadness,
no joy, no anger, nothing. Actually very similar to clinical
depression. My brain is still working so, it's different. What is
this then? Or am I hoping that I am not depressed. In face, I am
depressed. Shall I take some good quality anti-depressants?'

Ana was in a not very pleasant
mood. Post-miscarriage state. She did not know where that comes
from. One of her friends sent an email with her new born boy. Ana
sent a congratulation message and bought a jacket for the new born
lovely boy. She felt weird. The jacket was indeed lovely. Quite
expensive and well-tailored. Soft as hell. She did not miss her
lost baby. Not at all. But she just felt weird and confused and
depressed.

4th Week Jan 2015

19 Jan 2015

"Mario explained QE to
Angela."

"After skyrocketing, it is still
1.84. Free fall expected. Faulty engine like GM."

"Gradual stimaulation is way
better than sudden shock. Look what Swiss had to do. CRP, breaking
a few ribs."

'We used to call him uncle Mario.
He was goot at poker. We adored him. He happily played with us. We
did his homework. I was seventeen.'

"John, this can be an indivisual
drill time with Carl."

"Shit."

"He will suck your souls out."

"I have to go home. Kate will be
there."

"I said, individual."

'My life is changed. Why can't I
admit it? My old computer is not working anymore. Too old. Yuki is
dead. Time to time something trigger me to remember him and made me
frozen in time again. I am running like a dog and panting happily
for those old sweet memories. It's gone. But is there anything
wrong to miss him because he is dead? Because I married to someone
else because he is dead?'