To John (15 page)

Or simply China is fucked.

In United States Treasury wesite,
it is called '10 year Note'.

What does it mean? Note instead of
bond. 10 year note means the note can be expired after 10 years. US
10 year T-note. Was it last year? There was a possibility of
sovereing bankruptcy last year. In the case of sovereign
bankruptcy, 10 yr t-note became nothing for sure. Absolutely
nothing. You cannot cash in. Fed stopped QE this year. The key
point so far is the huge debt of US and the possiblity of 2nd
Lehmann brothers. Fed could not help ending QE because of the
danger of inflation to cause the bubble burst.

'Federal Reserve announced they
were also buying $45 billion in long-term Treasuries each month on
top of the $40 billion a month in mortgage-backed securities.'
(Wiki)

Mortgage-macked securities was the
switch at 2008.

"John, I think, I have to confess
that I had three manic episodes, in case."

"Ana, can I confess something to
you?"

"What?"

"I had three clinical depressions
since I had that cancer operation."

"Oh... sorry."

Ana felt really sorry as she knew
that depression is not fun at all. Being manic was hilarious until
it hit the paranoid state. That's why she has taken Lithium
religiously. Also somehow it helps her pile problem too. Whenever
she feels good, she still wonders whether she is manic or not. Then
she thought she is quite fed up with habitual, repetative
self-doubting questions. So she thought

'Sod it! I feel, feel good. Life
is short.' And some more swearings.

"Henry, if I go manic again, what
would you do?"

"I take you the Dr. Or I knock you
out first. Or I will just take you to that desert. This time, I
will leave you on your own. I had enough."

4th Week Feb 2015

23 Feb 2015

"27th. In case of extension
failure for the budget of defense, US partial government shutdown
expected."

"Global fund is flowing into the
West Europe. Easing currency poliy and attractive valuation."

Whereas, Fed kept on saying 'Be
patient, be patient.' Language test? Well, good for you.

Greece will be so unlucky to miss
this chance. That Fuckiss is so thick. He thinks he is Bruce
Willis. Oh well...

"Until 27th, 400 meter running. On
27th, 100 meter running."

"John, you have such an amazing
stemina and pace. Pleasure and pain are so similar, aren't
they?"

"Ho ho, be patient... government
shudown... be patient... like last, last year... Did you finish
your tea time break yet?"

Ana has never told to John that
she saw his thighs first before his face. She thought he could work
with her or she can work for him or he can work for her. Quite
confused now, but what the heck. Those thighs of hockey players.
Different from football players. More muscles are used. More
oculmotor neurons are stimulated. Faster, more sensitive and more
decisive. More tenatious. More calculating.

24 Feb 2015

"Ana, are you still angry with my
cyborg joke?"

"Yes."

"It was not a joke."

"I know. I am attracted by a part
of a human's body, not a person."

"Are you bored?"

"Don't be silly."

Ana was thinking about John's
thighs all day. She tried to remember what they were like and why
she was instantly attracted. She tried to remember all the muscles
and arteries etc. Ana thought she can spot John at King's Cross by
just looking at man's lower parts.

"Carl, are you lonely?"

"I am busy."

"After you are busy, will you be
lonely?"

"Possible."

"You are a liar. Is New York quite
a lonely place?"

"Come and see."

"Ok. One day."

Ana suddenly wondered,

'Why do I have a dejuvue of a
certain pattern of the chart? 24/02/2015 20:26 GMT GBPUSD, M5. I
saw this before. As far as I remember, there has never been a
pattern like this for the last two years. Why now? How did I see
this before? Not the colours. Just the pattern.'

She got so intrigued.

'In what way, was I programmed? In
what way, do I have to get the access to these informations? If I
have full access, would I do the same thing? If I know what will
happen next 5 minutes, would I do this? If I know the future, would
I do this same thing? If I know the future, what would I do? If I
know the future is something else, the future is something like a
wrapped sugar ball, many layers, many layers, melting, no exitence,
melting in the present, with different dimensions, overlapped with
other dimensions, records, datas, memories, all mixed up in a huge
bowel called one source or one soul, what would I do? Or is this
the first symptom of dementia? The reality will diagnose my
condition.'

25 Feb 2015

"If you can watch this without
shedding a drop of tear, I do not know what you are."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhxUUXyocCU

1. demented

2. old version

3. autistic

4. just busy?

"If you shed tons of tears and you
are still fuctioning, what are you?"

1. normal human

2. human

3. abnormal human

4. fucked up case

"Let's test. Watch it to the end.
I don't think I can. Can you? "

"It's up to you whether you want
to blow yourself up or not. I'm talking about that pipe line. I
told you."

'Nothing is changed except for one
thing, my body. I am afraid that I might have developed a brain
tumor on the left side. The whole left part of body is trembling.
Shit. I'm too young for it. My brain is not working as good as
before, but it's still fuctioning at a very basic level. But the
spasmic and shooting pain in the middle of left brain. How can you
explain that? As far as I can crush some candies, it's ok on daily
basis. The pain is very funny. You cannot feel the pain in the
brain, only on the surface or between skull and matters. Am I
wrong? In the Hunnibal film, there was a scene. While he was eating
someone's brain, that someone was still talking.'

'Obama will be remembered as a
savior within 2 years when a proper research is done. Meanwhile,
democrats will win the next election.'

'Yellen fiddled too much too long.
Soros, Sheiler and even Buffet moved. So, let me see who is
inspired by that fat ass dove. I found three rotten, steamed
dumplings in my fridge. What a coincidence.'

'So funny. When you are excited by
something, you forget pain. Why is that? Is that a work of
Adrenaline? Also can you fake excitement to yourself? You are
excited, you are excited. You can pretend to other people. Can you
pretend it to yourself?'

"Good night, John. Early start
tomorrow morning."

26 Feb 2015

"I am not a bad person but I am
very impatient. I do 100% agree with Praet. The right time to
maximize the effect of ECB QE. What do you think, John?"

"I will talk to you later. I have
to flush the toilet first. Turn on the radio."

"Ana, watch out your tongue. Some
of my Chineses stuffs complained about your racial remark."

"You mean the rotten dumplings?
No... I meant Soros, Sheiler and Buffet. What can I say? Rotten
cookies? I will have some steaks tonight. If I say I will make some
brown sauce, would that be racial remark? Come on..."

'That Buffet, he swallowed the
whole shit from the Lehman brothers. That's how he started his
business anyway. To swallow somebody else's shit. He has a
brilliant nose for it.'

Carl would say

'He used to be your hero, no?
Since when did you change your mind?'

'Since I am dealing this. All
americans are my enemies.'

'You are such a simplton.'

'I know. My world is very simple.
There are only two kinds of people in this world. People who
noticed my new haircut and people who did not. Only two kinds. I
don't mix them up. My friends are my friends. Others? I don't know.
Now I have stiches in my tummy.'

27 Feb 2015

"Thank you for the morning call.
You woke me up. Let's use Q grid today. Visibility zero. Instinct
only or auto-piloting."

'I did not know US interest rate
is zero. How can you be patient? Wow...'

"John, is waterside chats allowed?
Like in sauna or swimming pool or hair salon or curbicles in the
loo ~~: Anyway, Titanbet was accredited."

"If I appreared in your dream,
there is no question and no other option. Our memory base like data
base is emulsified."

"Friday night fever. Down to ML
400. Never ever forget flushing the loo."

"Friday night. You know what I
mean."

"Cut it. Sharp. And have a good
weekend."

After all this, Ana thought...

'Why is Carl, my brother, always
behind of my brain?'

'Ana, who noticed your new hair
cut? Write down the names and submit it tomorrow morning. He will
repeat it again and again until I get it.'

28 Fed 2015

'Why did US congress fail to pass
the bill?: No money. GDP is poor. USD is too strong. Google and
Apple are complaing.

Capital Economics says even GDP is
poor, it's not that worrying situation.

Even a partial government shutdown
is expected, you don't have to worry about it. Be patient.: Wow. So
optimistic. But who is optimistic here? Or just cheating in order
to earn some time. A trick. One more week apparently.'

'I don't think Republicans have a
gut. Shut it down. And see what can happen. Do not waste your
victory in congress. Get a good grip rather than fiddling around.
Maybe they have never ever had 'you die, I die, but you die first'
spirit. They cannot win.'

Ana felt somehow weird. She felt
lifeless. No motivation whatsoever. Market is closed. Saturday.
Nothing. She was depressed. Addiction. She found herself for the
first time addicted. Even all the music she was listening only
reminded her of those moments of dealing. The chart. The rythm. The
pounding. The choking and the excitement. Candy crush means nothing
on its own. Can you fall in love with a chart? Even Americans mean
nothing. They are just a remote country. Well, Carl is there but
what the heck. He can be anywhere saying

'Ok, if this world is so clear for
you, write down the list of names who noticed your new hair style
or cut.'

'Why?'

'I have to see what kind of world
you are living in, as your older brother.'

'Sorry?'

'Older brother who gave you the
real account.'

'I tripled.'

'Of course, happy. I want it to
last in that way at least for more than three months from now
on.'

Ana felt nothing and thought.

'How awful it is to admit that
pain is the only motivation. This means that a paradise is a
physically or mentally impossible concept so far. How can you get
pleasure without pain first? Imbalance and then balance, imbalance
again and then balance again. So similar to Hegel. These,
anti-these, synthese. A synthese becomes a these again. Another
antithese. Another synthese. Another these. Nothing to do with what
I want. Do I want a pain? No. But if my consiousness understands
that pain is showing the road, will I mind? So, there is this
threshold of pain. Some pain make you to slide into a shock. Your
body shut down. Is this different from a governmental body?'

'I have to express myself.
Otherwise, I will get permanently, uselessly dipressed.'

'What do I want to express?'

'The universe.'

'Who can see what I am writing and
say that I am mad? It does not matter anymore. I am desperate. Am I
mad or am I the universe?'

'I am not mad. If I am the
universe, in what sense?'

'When I asked that question, I
feel my body or mind is melting. There is no boundary, which can
definde something as me. Just flows of something. It was expressed
as Maha Mudra or drawn as snakes or dragons. They are all enery
flows. When the flow cannot flow, that's pain.'

'I am having a few phylosophical,
non-sensical moments as market is closed.'

'Anything wrong with it?'

'Nope.'

'Why am I so consious whether I am
mad or not? Because I had three manid episodes? Nope. Am I caring
about something? Possible. What do I care about?'

'There are waves of energies from
above and below. Sudden and very powerful as soon as you are open
to this big universe. Waves and waves. They are perceived as pain
at first. If you start watching, it is moving. As far as it is
moving, it is ok. Even it might penetrate your neck bone. You have
to be very alert. If you get panicked, you will be in a serious
trouble. There's no medicine for this as far as I know. In the
orient, it is called Chi Kong Disease. Quite well known. In the
west, some had called them possession. Similar to epileptic ceases.
Your body became like a doll being shaken by these wild chi.
Remember? Universe is not kind as we are just mere creatures on
this planet. Size under 2 meters. It has its own consiousness, the
absolute balance. Anything, which is about to break it, will be
deminished or punished in our sense. At the moment, GE mark 1
reactors with the Keystone pipeline is that. Too explosive. 4-5
hydro explosions will destroy the North America and will break the
thin ozone surface. Then, there will be this unextraordinary solar
rays, which human can not handle physically. Physically.'

'No more wars. Enough is enough.
The economy which is relied on war has to be destroyed. I do not
fight.'

'My pathological hatred of America
is not pathological. It can be explained and it will be
executed.'

'I have compression arthralgia,
which you can have 60 meters under the water. Sudden onset. I could
not hardly walk. Why do I have this? Our ambient is changed. What
else? Explain. You do not know many things, do you? Call your
Allah. How much did you get from America for producing that fake
dollars? Call your Allah again. Bring America to kill your own
people. Call Allah. Now.'