Too Much to Lose (25 page)

He loves me.

Does he? I’m not sure why I
even asked. I’d been wondering. Why else be so determined to protect me and
take care of me? It could have been for the sex I suppose but a guy doesn’t
normally ask you to stay with him just for sex. Of course, these circumstances
are exceptional.

I push back the covers and
force myself out of bed. So what if my world feels like it’s come crashing down
around me? I’ve still got a job to go to. I might have lost Hunter but I refuse
to lose my job, not after I worked so hard for it.

Did it not occur to Hunter how
much damage he could do? Doesn’t he have a conscience? I know he’s desperate,
driven by a need to keep his mum’s house but still you don’t lie to the person
you love and you don’t use them for financial gain. I just don’t know what’s
true and what’s not anymore.

Careful not to make a sound, I
open the door and peer out. His bedroom door is open and his bed is made. I
glance at the bathroom and listen for a moment. He must be downstairs. Good. I
need to delay seeing him again until I can get my thoughts straight.

As I shower, I run my hands
over my body and recall Hunter’s touches and kisses. They weren’t fake were
they?

God, I need them so badly—need
him. He’s stolen any semblance of independence I had. I’ve been so scared of
opening up to anyone and now I finally have, I chose the wrong person. It
doesn’t matter that he accepts my past because what if that was all lies too? I
laugh at myself as I towel off and change into my suit. To think I worshipped
him for being so honest. I must have looked an idiot.

I sneak downstairs. I’m not
sure why. It’s not like I can avoid him. He’s in the kitchen in only loose
flannel pyjama bottoms, and he looks like sin and everything I’ve ever wanted.
The muscles in his arms flex and the ink on his skin dances with his movements
as he swipes crumbs off the side. His hair is tousled and the scruff on his jaw
seems to have grown even more overnight. I itch to scrape my fingernails
through it.

He glances my way and stills.
Pain and regret flashes in his gaze as he straightens. He looks… uncertain.
When have I ever seen Hunter look unsure of himself? The lines around his eyes
are deeper and shadows linger around them. Is he suffering just as much?

“Morning.” His Irish lilt makes
my body tighten.

“Morning.”

“You’re going to work.”

“Yes.”

I stride past him and help
myself to coffee. I notice he’s put out some toast but I can’t bring myself to
touch it. All my hunger vanished the moment my uncle turned up on Hunter’s
doorstep and blew everything apart. I shake my head to myself. To think I’d
been picturing some kind of future for us.

“I’ll take you.”

“You really don’t have to.”

“You’re still in danger.
Regardless of what’s happened between us, you can’t deny that.”

I sip the coffee and nod.
“You’re right.”

“You’ll let me continue to
protect you?”

A wry smile forces its way onto
my lips. “What other choice do I have?”

His expression darkens. “I’d
rather you be with me because you want to be, not because you have to.”

“Yes, that’s what I wanted too,”
I shoot back.

“Touché.” He snatches up a
slice of toast and takes a bite, speaking between mouthfuls. “I meant
everything I said yesterday. I love you. You were always more than a job.”

The coffee burns in my stomach
and I place it on the side. “I’m not sure what to believe anymore, Hunter.
Let’s just find this guy and get this over and done with.”

“Then you’ll give us a chance?”

“I don’t know.”

He smirks. “That’s not a no.”

Damn his arrogance. He must
know what he does to me. In my wildest dreams I couldn’t have imagined someone
like Hunter loving me. But what if it’s just come from being forced together?
Maybe it’s just some weird obsession. Clearly I’m good at picking up psychos in
my life. What if I’ve unhinged Hunter?

I give myself a mental shake.
No, Hunter’s never been unhinged. Methodical, careful, determined. That’s
Hunter. If only I could add honest back to that list again.

“I’ll just get dressed and take
you to work.” He doesn’t give me the chance to say anything, just strides off leaving
me watching the pull of his muscles in his back and wishing I’d had the
strength of will to wrap my hands around him and forgive him.

But I can’t. Not until I know
what’s going on. What’s real and what’s not. I’ve got to wait for this all to
be over. Then I’ll know for sure if Hunter O’Reilly really loves me.

Jess

My work day passes in a blur of
paperwork and customers. There’s still the issue of Hunter’s house hanging over
my head. I need to come up with a solution for him but I have my doubts he’ll
accept my help. I guess
I
was the job he was talking about and now he
doesn’t have that money coming in. I can only put things off for so long before
the bank will force the issue. But, still, I’m glad for the distraction.
Numbers, I like. Logical, straightforward. There’s only ever one outcome.

And a far cry from my mess of a
life. Who knows how it will turn out?

Mitch picks me up to take me to
Hunter’s house before my evening shift at Murphy’s. I offer him a surprised
look. “How come you’re here?”

He shrugs as I climb in his
Jeep. “Hunter thought you might need some time and he’s following a lead.”

I can’t decide whether to be
glad or disappointed. “The production company?”

“Yeah.”

“I hope he’s not doing anything
stupid.”

“Hunter rarely does anything
stupid.”

I lift a brow. How much does
Mitch know?

“Apart from when he messed up
with you.” He chuckles

“Yeah, well…” I laugh too, even
though I don’t feel amused.

“You get why he did it, right?”

“I don’t know, Mitch.”

“Well, it’s not my place to say
anything…”

“Then don’t. Please?” I offer
him a smile to soften my words. Mitch has only ever been guilty of being a good
friend and probably even has the potential to be a friend to me if Hunter and I
ever end up together.
If.
Big if. “Thanks for giving me a lift.”

“Hey, it’s what I do.”

“It can’t be much fun
babysitting me, especially when you’re used to glamorous celebrities.”

Mitch pulls us into Hunter’s
road and I tense. “Whatever you believe, Jess, Hunter’s a good guy. I’d do
anything for him and he’d do the same for me. He took on a lot when his mother
was sick and her death hit him hard. He’d always hoped to take care of her
properly one day. Nice retirement home and everything.” He pulls the Jeep up
outside of the house and sighs. “But you know all this, right?”

“Some of it,” I mumble.

I’m still not sure I’m ready to
admit he’s a good guy. Good guys don’t try to get someone to fall for them to
get information. They don’t lie and then tell them they love you when things aren’t
going right. It smacks of emotional blackmail. Do I know Hunter? I mean,
really
know him?

“Wait in the car,” Mitch orders
before climbing out.

I watch him scanning the area.
I’d be amused at being treated like a VIP except apprehension thrums though me.
Lucas was pushy, demanding with a penchant for the younger ones, including me.
Many of the girls slept with him to save their jobs. He sickened me but not
just that, his reaction to my refusal was with such a quiet calm that it
freaked me out. He quietly threatened my job. Then I saw the other side of him
when he tried to force himself on me. It was too close to what my uncle had
done to me. I freaked. His last words before I left were to tell me I’d regret
not giving into him.

Is this what he meant?

Mitch opens the door and ushers
me quickly into the house. I suck in a breath as I realize Hunter is in the
kitchen.

“Thanks, Mitch. I didn’t know
if I’d be back in time,” Hunter says.

“No worries. Just let me know
if you need anything. I’m still in between jobs at the moment so I’m at a loose
end.”

“Thanks, Mitch,” I mumble as he
leaves.

He offers me a grin. “Anytime.
Be nice to our boy,” he says in a low voice before shutting the door.

I turn back to Hunter and he
stuffs his hands into his jeans pockets. “Good day?” he asks.

“Fine.” I sweep past him and
dump my handbag on the kitchen side. This cold politeness makes my stomach
churn. I almost wish he was back to brashly declaring his love for me and
telling me he won’t let me go. “So… Mitch said you were following up on the
production company. Any luck?”

He studies me for a moment, his
jaw ticking. Tension riddles his body, I can see it in the stark sinew of his
body. “No, not yet.”

“That’s it?”

“I went to an address that his
business is registered to. It’s unoccupied. No sign of it being used. Either
he’s not set up yet or it’s a false address.”

“You went there? It could have
been dangerous.”

“I’m a big boy, Jess.”

“Why a false address?”

“Not sure. It doesn’t make much
sense if he’s genuinely trying to set up a new company. Perhaps he’s expecting
his stalking activities to catch up with him and doesn’t want to be easily
tracked down.”

I sigh and rub my forehead.

“Headache?”

He comes up behind me, a hand
curling around the back of my neck. I stiffen even as the heat of his palm
seeps into my skin and soothes the tension bubbling inside me. He sweeps aside
some of the loose strands from my updo and uses his thumb to rub the back of my
neck. Need and despair mingle in my belly. I’m so weak when it comes to him,
it’s ridiculous. I still haven’t forgiven him or decided how to move forward,
yet when he touches me I just want to fling myself into his arms and lose
myself to him.

“I’ve got to get changed for
work,” I mutter.

“You’ve got two hours.”

The hand on my neck wraps
further around and Hunter eases himself against me. I become aware of strong
thighs, a wide chest, and powerful hips pressing into me. I become aware of his
arousal.

His scent surrounds me—cologne
and a little sweat. I can’t help but draw it in. My body softens of its own
accord.

“Two hours is plenty,” he
murmurs in my ear.

Blood races through my veins,
pumps hard and begs me to give into him. That hand sweeps my neck and jawline
and lips follow it. They’re firm and demanding, barely hinting at the love
behind the kiss, but I feel that in the way he holds my waist with the other
hand. That touch is tender. I feel fragile and precious in that embrace.

Bolts of sensation arrow down
between my legs. A sound too close to a whimper for my liking escapes. My
resolve has melted into a puddle which is what I’ll be doing if I’m not
careful.

“I’ve thought of nothing but
you all day.” Hunter skims his teeth across my neck. “Let me make it up to you.
Let me show you how much I love you.”

Something incoherent slips from
my lips. A word of protest or acquiescence? Who knows? Sparks ignite in my
brain, fire flows through me. It can only be quenched by Hunter. And he damn
well knows it.

The hand on my waist comes up
to the buttons on my shirt. The pop of one button sounds loud even though it
took a mere flick to open it. Then coarse fingers skim the tops of my breasts
and I sigh. We’ve been apart all of one night and I didn’t realize how much I
missed his touch already. The rough texture of the hair on his chin rubs my
neck and sensitizes it. I feel as though I might crackle with static.

I’d been so preoccupied with
the hurt he’d inflicted, I forgot about this. Forgot how weak he makes me. A
shiver makes itself known, wracking my body.

“I need you, princess.”

I stiffen. That word. The
endearment I used to love has taken on a new meaning. For a while it was
painful to hear, then he made me believe it. But I recall what he must have
thought of me. Now the word sounds bitter to my ears.

“Why do you call me that?”

“What?” His hand leaves me
breast and a chill sweeps over me.

“Princess? Why do you call me
that?”

He chuckles. “Because you’re my
princess. Because I want to treat you like one.”

I try to wriggle out of his
hold but he keeps me held to him. His muscles tense against me. Sweat tingles
on the back of my neck, in part created by the heat between us, but my belly
swoops and dives as I fidget again. I’m not scared of Hunter but I’m scared of
the effect he has on me. He doesn’t want to let me go, physically or emotionally
by the looks of it and I don’t know if I can fight him either way.

“I don’t believe you. You began
calling me that way before we grew close.”