Tough Love (Hidden Secrets) (9 page)

The
trip was long and it was quiet. Shannon kept her head turned and stared out the window. The boys were even quiet as well. The only time they made a sound was when I had to put the top up because we were headed down the gravel road toward Mary’s. Jake was already there and it looked as though pretty much everyone else was too. Nothing like being fashionably late. I almost laughed out loud at that.

“Okay
guys. You ready to meet some awesome people?”

Sebastian
ran to me from Shannon and wrapped his arms around my legs. Bending down, I picked him up. He was shaking staring out at all people in the yard.

“
Hey, remember, I’m right here. You already know Jake. So there’s another person in that mix of people you like. Okay?”

“Okay,”
he said, nodding his head with wide eyes.

Looking
over at Shannon, I saw the worried expression on her face. Running my hand up and down her arm, “Hey, we accomplished standing in line for ice cream yesterday. He can do this. I promise. He’s the Captain. He’ll get his ship through the rough seas.”

Jake
came trotting over. “Okay, I told everyone that you were nervous about meeting them. So they are going to let you lead them, okay?” Jake said, speaking with Sebastian.

Sebastian’s
smile got bigger. “I can do it. After all, I’m the Captain.”

“That’s
right buddy. If you feel like you just can’t handle anymore, you just tell me and we’ll head on home.” Shannon said, reassuringly.

“Uh,
one more thing. Mary and Tobey invited all their working hands too. So, uh, a bit more people here than we expected.”

Nodding
my head, I could feel Sebastian tense in my arms. He buried his face in my neck and held tightly around my neck. We walked slowly toward the gathering.

Chapter Ten

Shannon

Looking
at all the people outside, I was scared for Sebastian, even Atreyu. They were going to a group once a week to help them socialize with kids their ages, but when Sebastian told me about what they were saying about him I pulled them out. Now we just sit at home and have just us time. Honestly, I’m not sure Sebastian will ever be able to go to school on his own. He depends too much on a constant. Something that doesn’t change. With school, it will all be different. Yeah, it would be a constant once he got going, but with Sebastian it was almost impossible to get him to that point without a constant already in place.

Thinking
about it now, Sebastian will be devastated if Atreyu went off to school without him. It would actually do more damage, I think. Considering Sebastian already thinks that he’s so much less than Atreyu because of others negative comments about him. There are days that I cry for him. He never seems to cry about how hurtful and mean people are to him. Actually, he seems more confused than anything. Of course he is only four. Sometimes I forget how young they are. They don’t act their ages. If you watched them closely, Sebastian has really taught Atreyu a lot. Atreyu has just been accepted more because of his ‘normal’ behavior.

Our
aunt on my mom’s side used to tell my mom that he was an animal that needed euthanized. Can you believe that? The people that should be there for him unconditionally actually treated him worse than outsiders. My mom quit talking to her sister then. I was proud of her. Though mom said she was more proud of me because I went off on my aunt.

The
boys remember our uncles and ask about them often. No one from either side talk to us anymore. When the kids ask about them, I just tell them that they are very busy and still so sad about the loss of mom and dad. Knowing my brothers the way I do, they don’t buy the crock of shit lie anymore than I do saying it.

Here
we are walking up with two men that really just came into our lives and have done more for the boys than blood relatives have. Everyone that turns away from these amazing little boys are missing out. They are going to change the world and maybe they already have.

Looking
between my brothers and their new best friends, I think Jackson and Jacob being twins helps the boys a lot. They are so attached to them and I worry that it is just as much as a bad thing as it is a good thing. With Jacob being an actor of some sort and Jackson... I worry that the times when they get busy and can’t come around will wreck the boys.

Jackson
drapes one arm around my shoulders as he talks, “Mom, Dad, this here is Shannon. These are her brothers, Sebastian and Atreyu.”

Holding
out my hand, “It’s very nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Williams.”

“Oh
darling, you put that hand away and those formalities. Give me a hug and call me Jane.” Says the beautiful petite woman, hugging me.

“Same
here young lady. Call me Larry, please.” He hugs me tightly.

Looking
at his parents side by side, I can see where Jackson gets his looks. He has the soft, beautiful eyes of his mother, but the structure and height of his father. It was uncanny how much he looked like his father actually.

“Thank
you for allowing us to come. It was very kind of you all to include us.”

“Nonsense,”
Jane said, waving her hand dismissively. “If you’re important to my Jackson, then you’re important to us. Besides, I have to say I’m excited to meet this Roo and Captain that I’m told so much about.”

My
heart soars at the thought that Jackson has been talking about my brothers. They need friends outside of me, I know they do. It is so hard to find people that I’d trust outside of me. They are all I have left in the world. I may get overprotective sometime, but I just can’t let them go.

Atreyu
turns around in Jacob’s arms, “You know who we are?” He sounds amazed.

“Of
course we do. Jack here talks about you guys all the time. We talk a lot and he keeps bragging about you two. I’ve been jealous because I haven’t got to meet you until now.”

Atreyu
squirms and Jake sets him on the ground. Jane squats down to be eye level with him and so does Larry.

“I’m
Atreyu, but um,” he turns and looks at Jack. “What is it called again?”

“Nickname.”
Jack stated, knowing what Atreyu was asking immediately.

“Yeah,
that’s it. My nickname is Roo.”

Larry
reached his hand out, “I’m Larry. You can call me… Hmm, I don’t believe I have a nickname.”

Atreyu’s
eye grew wide with excitement. “Can I think of one for you?”

“I’d
like that. Think about it for a bit. Get to know me. Then give me a nickname. Okay?”

“I
can do that,” Atreyu nods excitedly.

“You
want to come with me to get something to eat?”

“Yes,
thank you.” He turns around, grabs Jacob’s hand and pulls him to Larry where he also takes hold of Larry’s hand. All three walk off toward a long table set up with food.

Turning
I watched as Jane approached Sebastian. She ran her hand gently on his back. Sebastian’s hold tightened on Jackson.

“So
that makes you, Captain. Jack told me what a brave, smart boy you are,” Jane says softly.

“He
did,” Sebastian mumbles into Jack’s neck.

“Yes,
he did. Jack also told me how much he loves spending time with you. That his time with you guys makes him happier than he’s been in a long time. You want to know something?”

Pulling
his face from Jack’s neck, he looks at Jane, then turns to Jack. “You said that stuff about me?”

“I
did. You guys mean a lot to me,” Jack said, sadly.

“Did
you tell her that I’m stupid and gross?” Sebastian asked seriously.

I
gasped. “Sebastian!” Tear welled in my eyes, “Why would you say something like that?”

“Because
that’s what that girl that works with Jack said. She said she’d kill me if it was, um, I don’t remember the word.” He said looking at me expectantly.

I
glared at Jack when he met my eyes. “Baby listen to me, it doesn’t matter what she said because it was a lie. You are none of those things. You are smart, handsome, funny, creative, and so much fun to be around. I don’t care what a stuck up bitch seems to think of you!”

“Sam,
you said a bad word,” Sebastian says wide eyed.

Taking
a deep breath, “I know. I’m sorry.”

Sebastian
starts laughing and soon so am I. “I love you, buddy.”

“Yeah,
I know.” Sebastian then turns to Jane. “What else were you gonna say?”

Jane
laughs, “I’d really like to be your friend too.”

Sebastian
turns to Jack with tears in his eyes. “Thank you, Jack. I love you.” He said hugging Jack tightly.

Jack
closed his eyes and hugged him back. “I love you too, Captain.”

The
tone in Jack’s voice told me that he truly meant it. That meant a lot to me. It meant that Jack didn’t just say something to make someone else happy. He said things that he meant. Sebastian soon jumped down and left with Jane to go get some food.

“Don’t
cry. He’s happy. My parent’s have been looking forward to meeting them since I met you guys.”

“You
have given us so much. How am I ever going to repay you for this?”

“There
is nothing to repay because as much as you think I’ve given you. You’ve given me so much more than you will ever know.” He hugs me and kisses the top of my head. “Now let’s go meet the rest of the gang. Shall we?”

He
walks me around introducing me to his brothers, a few sisters, some guys that work for his sister’s boyfriend.

“How
did you meet the family?” Ethan says.

“I
met Jack at his office. We kind of became friends. How long have you been working here?”

“I
just started a week ago. Looks to me like I started just in time.” Ethan drapes his arm around me.

Shrugging
it off, “Sorry. Not interested.” I said, stepping away.

Heading
over to my brothers when a woman, um Colleen, called my name.

“I
want you to meet someone.”

She
led me over to where a man that seemed to tower and was scary big. My anxiety started to kick up a bit. Just the look of the guy from his back scared me. Colleen put her hand on his back and he turned his head, smiling down at her, bending slightly, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
Shit! What brother was with Colleen?

“Shannon,
this is my man Carson. Jack’s brother and… This is who I wanted you to meet.”

She
took the most adorable little girl from Carson’s arms, bringing her to me. She was dressed in a beautiful pink flowered dress. She had a lot of dark hair. She was sleeping so I couldn’t see her eyes, but I didn’t need to. This had to be the most beautiful little girl.

“This
is my daughter, Colbie.” She hands her to me. “Better hold her while you’ve got the chance. Even I have to fight Carson here to hold her.”

“That’s
my little girl, I want all the time with her I can. I know what girls get like when they get older.” Carson says with a smirk.

Colleen
and I both laugh. “She’s beautiful,” I whisper.

“She
gets it from her mother,” Carson says with so much love that it breaks my heart a little.

“May
I sit with her?”

“You
sure can. I’m going to pull Carson away for a little bit. We’ll be right over there spending time with your brothers for a minute.” She pauses. “Your brothers are amazing. I hope that my daughter is as smart as they are.”

“And
as caring. You’ve done a good job with them.” Carson says sadly.

“Thank
you,” I say softly, giving them a sad smile as I sat down in the rocker.

They
left me alone and I just stared down at this beautiful sleeping baby in my arms. She was so tiny. It’s hard to think that her father was that huge and here she was this little thing barely taking up one arm as I hold her.

Looking
up, I watch my brothers running around playing with Jack’s family and friends. Their laughter traveled over here. It was still rare to see them so happy and enjoying themselves.  It made me wonder if I was doing enough for them.  Or if my grandma was right? That I’d screw them up just like me. I was a screw up. I’ve done nothing with my life, not to mention no job and my inheritance was running low. Looking at the bills, always makes me think of my parents.

Their
room was still an off limits area. The boys used to go in there shortly after they passed to sleep and cry. I can’t bring myself to go in their room. After a while I told them not to go in there anymore because I couldn’t handle going in. When they continued to sneak into the room, I had to lock the door. I put my room in the room that was actually supposed to be a laundry room, but my parents moved it to the basement. Mom was going to use it as a sewing room. There wasn’t a day that didn’t go by that I didn’t miss them, that I didn’t feel guilty.

Some
days it is so hard looking at the boys. They remind me so much of my dad. Especially when they get excited and do their happy dances. My dad got them started on that when they were one and were in the mimicking stage. Now when they win a game or are really happy they still do it. They take their hands and touch their fingertips together twice in the front and repeat the same action behind their back while they bounce from the knees. Next they will twirl around, do the disco and finally shake their butts saying ‘Uh huh. Oh yeah, that’s right’. It is the funniest thing.

Looking
back down at Colbie, she was lucky. She had an amazing family that she was born into. Each of these amazing people, would jump over the moon for her. Running my finger down her cheek, I gently kiss her forehead.

“You
are one beautiful little girl. I think your daddy better get ready for when you get older. He’ll have to fight those boys off with a stick.”

“Oh,
don’t say that. You’ll get Carson’s hackles all up.”

Looking
up, I find a smiling Colleen and Carson. “You guys are so lucky,” I say softly, looking back down at her.

I
wanted a family, kids the whole nine yards. Now, I think it’s my punishment for being so damn selfish. Thinking of myself when my parents were breaking. When I felt a tear start slipping down my cheek, I reached up to wipe it, but was stopped.