Tough Love (Hidden Secrets) (4 page)

“As
soon as you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.”

Fuck
me! He is still a damn dick sometimes. We drive in silence for a few more minutes before, I had to ask where we were going.

“Go
to CJ’s.”

We
were sitting at a stop light when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I watched as Sebastian bolted across the road towards my car. The only thing I pictured was him running in front of a car. Slamming my car into park, I jump out and run to him, scooping him up and back to the curb, barely dodging a car coming head on.

“Are
you okay?” I checked him over.

“Hi,
Dr. Jack. Do you want to play?” He asked, unphased by what just happened.

Jake
had jumped into the driver’s seat and drove over to the side of the road. He jumped out of the car and ran over to us.

“Holy
shit!” Jake said.

“Watch
your mouth, Jake. Child here.” I warned. “Sebastian, are you okay?”

“I’m
fine Dr. Jack. I wanted you to come and play with us. Please,” he begs.

My
hands are still shaking from the scare of the whole thing. I turn to Jake. “Would you be up to seeing Colbie on your own, then coming by and picking me up when you’re done?”

“Yeah,
no problem,” he says with a smirk.

Taking
Sebastian’s hand, we walk back over to a shocked Shannon. She sat on her knees on the ground clutching her hands to her chest and tears streaming down her cheeks. My pace kicks up and I rush over to her.

“Shannon,
are you okay?”

She
looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “I only turned my back for a second. When I turned around you were running across the road at him.”

“Come
here,” I bent down to help her up, but her legs gave out. Lifting her up in my arms, “Can you guys get the door for me while I get your sister inside?”

They
hurried to the door of a small cottage looking house. It looked a little run down. The gutters needed to be cleaned and the roof redone. The door and the windows needed to be replaced. At least if the front ones here were anything to judge by. When we got inside it was a long hall before opening up to a room on the right. The boys rushed into that room, so I assumed that is where I was supposed to head.

This
was obviously the living room. There were two chairs that sat on either side of a couch. An oval area rug with an old wooden coffee table sat in the center with a small television on a side table in the corner of the room. The first thing I noticed was the windows. There was obvious signs of leaks from the stains below them. No doubt mold.

Shaking
my head, I have definitely been around Nick too long. He’s rubbing off on me. Setting Shannon down on the couch, I sat next to her.

“You
guys want to help me?” They nod their head eagerly. “Okay, I need someone to sit with your sister and make sure she’s okay while I get a wet wash cloth, but I need someone to show me where that is. Do you want to help?”

“Yes!”
They both answer excitedly.

“Okay
Atreyu, you sit here with your sister. Make sure she doesn’t fall off the couch. Sebastian you show me where the washcloths are and a place to get the washcloth wet. Are you both ready to start the game. If you do what you're told we’ll go for ice cream and the park one day. Deal?”

“Yay!
Deal!” They clap excitedly.

“Okay,
here we go.”

Atreyu
sat on the coffee table and stared at his sister. Sebastian eagerly grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. Across the hall from the living room was the kitchen where Sebastian led me to. It was small. Two counter surfaces, a double sink, one side had a single cupboard, the other side had drawers, then there was a stove on the end of that with a fridge on the other end. A large pantry sat out far enough so that it wasn’t in the way of the fridge. Then a small table on the opposite side.

Sebastian
gets into the bottom drawer, pulling out a dishrag. “Will this be okay?”

Smiling,
“It will be great.” Lifting him up, we wet the rag with cool water. “Okay, make sure it’s not dripping with water. We have to squeeze it like this,” I twisted the rag back and forth then let Sebastian do it.

“Okay
is it done?” He looks at me eagerly.

“Yes,
let’s head back to your sister.”

He
bolts back into the living room. Man, I wished I had half their energy. Shannon has got to be exhausted to have that energy times two. When I entered the living room, I laughed before I could stop it. Both Atreyu and Sebastian are sitting on the table watching Shannon like she was going to fall over at any moment.

Moving
to sit next to Shannon, I touched the cool rag to her forehead. Her eyes were still wide and her hands still clutched her chest. She had stunning eyes. They were the most beautiful hazel eyes, I’ve ever seen. They pulled at something in me. Something I didn’t care to look any further into. Moving the rag to her cheek, my eyes were drawn to her lips. Her top lip was thinner than her plump bottom lip that screamed at me to be bitten. Again, I had to push the thought away, this wasn’t what I was here for. Hell, it wasn’t what I wanted.

“Is
she going to be okay?” Sebastian asked, getting closer to me.

“She’ll
be okay. You scared her running out into the street like that.” I left the rag on her forehead for a minute while I turned to talk to the boys.

“Do
you guys remember how you felt when your sister told you about your mom and dad?”

“Yeah,
I was really sad.” Atreyu said, dropping his eyes to his hands.

“I
was scared,” Sebastian said, honestly.

“Why
were you scared, Sebastian?”

“Because
now all I have left is Roo and Sam,” he replied sadly.

“Ooo,
you’re not supposed to call her that.” Atreyu whispered.

Not
understanding what Atreyu was talking about, “What do you mean that’s all you had left?” I asked, confused.

Thinking
back over the bits and pieces she revealed, she never did mention if there was anyone else, any other family members or a boyfriend. A surge of anger shot through me at the thought of her having a boyfriend. It shook me a bit. Shaking my head, I focused on Sebastian.

“No
one likes me,” he said sadly. “Everyone says I’m stupid or weird or what was that other word?” He turned asking Atreyu.

“Retarded,
but you’re not.” Atreyu says sternly.

“Yeah,
that one,” he says, dropping his gaze to his hands.

“Do
you know what those words mean?”

“Yeah,
Sam explained them to us. She says that I’m not any of them and not to listen to them.”

Messing
up his hair, “She’s right, you know. When someone puts you down like that, it’s more of a reflection on them than you.”

“Huh?”
They say in unison.

“It
makes them look bad not you. Sebastian you are a brilliant kid. I really enjoy spending time with you guys. Never let another person tell you that you're less than them. No matter what, the only opinion that matters at the end of the day is how you view yourself, okay?”

“Thank
you, Dr. Jack,” they say together.

“Just
call me Jack okay?”

“We
can?” Atreyu asks in awe.

“Of
course. We’re friends, right?”

“Yes!”
They exclaim in unison.

“Well
friends call each other by their names or nicknames,” I explain to them.

“You
can call me Roo or Booga then. They are the names sissy calls me.” Atreyu says.

“I
don’t have another name,” Sebastian says sadly.

Looking
at him breaks my heart. This little boy is already going through so much and he’s barely even lived. Honestly, I can’t imagine how someone could be so mean to this little boy. He was brilliant. A kid I’d be proud to call my own or part of my family.

“Can
I give you a nickname? Would that be okay by you?”

His
face brightened. “Yes! What are you going to call me?”

Putting
my finger to my chin, “Let me think a second. Roo, do you have any ideas?”

Atreyu’s
face brightened. “You want me to help,” he asks, shocked.

“Well
of course. You’re my friend right?” He nods his head. “And you’re Sebastian’s friend, correct?” He gives me the ‘well duh’ look. “Well then this is something we should work on together, don’t you think?”

He
nods excitedly, then copies my pose. “Well, he loves ships, drawing, playing games. Hmm.” Atreyu trails off.

“What
about, Captain?” I say looking between both of them.

Atreyu
jumped up and down excitedly saying yes. Sebastian jumped in my lap and hugged me. Roo jumped in my lap just seconds later and hugged me too. Captain pulls back and looks at me with sad eyes.

“Thank
you for not treating me different.”

“What
do you mean?” I asked, confused.

Chapter Four

Shannon

“What
about, Captain?” Jack asks as he looks between Atreyu and Sebastian.

The
boys got super excited about this and jumped into his lap giving him a hug. Jack graciously accepted them. Wow, you mean there is someone out there that doesn’t look at Sebastian and run. Funny, I can’t even find doctors—whom I pay—to do that for him. Many have turned us away the minute they just look at Sebastian. Barely anyone takes the time to get to know him. My heart thawed a little.

“Thank
you for not treating me different.”

“What
do you mean?” Jack sounded confused. Hell, I was confused.

“Everyone
always babies me. I’m the same age as Roo and he is treated older than me. I want to be older too.”

My
breath caught in my throat. Oh my God. This boy sees everything. It took a major effort to not cry right there. Sebastian really has been through a lot and will continue to do so because sadly people don’t accept ‘different’.

“Well,
Captain, you are not a baby. So I won’t treat you that way, but what you did today was not a grown up thing to do. Running out in the road in front of cars… You could have been seriously hurt. Promise me you’ll never do that again.” Jack stated firmly.

“What’s
a promise?” They both ask.

“It’s
when you tell someone you’ll do something they ask, but you never break it. When you make a promise to something you stick to it. So if you promise me you’ll never run out in the street again, then you can’t do it ever again. Okay?”

“Yes.
I do promise, Jack. I promise I won’t let you down.”

“You
didn’t let me down, Captain. You scared me. You scared your sister and even Roo. Right Roo?” Jack looked at Atreyu.

“Yes,
a lot. You’re my best friend,” Atreyu says sadly.

My
heart was breaking listening to this conversation.  These boys were so much older than their years. Maybe that was my fault. Maybe I have not let them be kids enough for them to be their ages. Maybe I’m letting them down. The thought saddened me, deeply.

“What
do you say we do something nice for your sister?” Jack asks happily.

“Yes!”

“Well, what’s something your sister wants done that you haven’t done yet?”

“Our
play room,” they groan and I almost laugh.

“Oh
come on. My two big boys aren’t going to be beaten by a dirty playroom, are you? You know how long it takes me to clean my playroom every day?”

“You
clean that?” Sebastian asks shocked.

“Sure
do. I clean it after everyone goes in there to play. That way it doesn’t take me as long. See if you picked up after yourself as you played, it wouldn’t take as long to clean. Let’s make a game out of this. What do you say?”

“Okay,
okay, we can do that.” They jumped off his lap.

“Let’s
think here, do you know how to tell time yet?”

“No,
but we can count,” Atreyu answers proudly.

“See
my watch,” they look at his watch as he holds it out. “When this little hand gets to this number, you’ll earn a prize if your playroom is cleaned. It’s a good one too. What do you say?”

“What
is it?” Sebastian asked excitedly.

“Oh,
I can’t tell you that, Captain. It’s a surprise. You’ll like it though.”

“Better
than ice cream and the park?” Atreyu asks.

“Oh,
I think so,” Jack says excitedly. “You ready? Set. Go!”

The
boys run out of the room toward their playroom. Jack turns to me then and moves the washcloth from my head.

“Are
you okay?”

“I’m
fine. Thank you. It just scared me. The thought of losing him like that,” I shudder.

Sitting
up on the couch, I’m suddenly aware of the way he’s looking at me. His blue eyes assessing me like he could see straight through me. Taking a deep breath, I swallow the last of my panic from the earlier incident.

“You
don’t have to stay here. I’m fine now. Thank you for saving Sebastian. I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”

“I
don’t want to be repaid. Those are good boys and I’ll admit I’m kind of attached to them.” He stares out the door for a moment before turning back to me. “Who’s Sam? Sebastian said that Roo and Sam are all he has left. Who’s Sam?”

My
breath catches in my throat and I start choking. Tears well up in my eyes. Jack runs his hand up and down my back gently. It sends a warm tingling feeling through my whole body.

“It’s
what my mother referred to me as,” I softly respond a moment later.

“Oh.
I’m sorry,” he says sadly.

We
sat there in silence for a minute or two. My thoughts running back over memories of my parents. No matter how much time has passed, I miss them more and more each day. The boys have grown so much and they are missing it all. Guilt hit me hard and practically winded me. They were missing all of this because of me. It was my fault the boys don’t have their mom and dad anymore.

He
glanced at his watch. I realized then he was probably late for something. “You don’t have to stay here. You can go.”

“What?
Oh no, I’m timing the boys to get their playroom clean.”

Laughing,
“Don’t hold your breath on that. I’ll end up in there cleaning it after they go to bed. They spend more time fighting and playing than cleaning. Honestly, it’s easier for me to do it.”

Jackson
turns and looks at me. The way he was looking at me had my pulse increasing. He blinks a few times and turns away from me. “I think they can do it. Just need a little incentive is all.”

We
sat in silence for a little while. Neither of us would even look in each other’s direction. He checks his watch again. Placing his elbows on his knees, he taps his fingertips together. Looking at his perfect hands caused images to start flashing in my head almost in rapid secession. My body started to heat and tingle. Shaking my head, I needed to put distance between us. Just as I was about to say something to him to break the silence, his phone rings.

“Hey
gorgeous,” he smiles as he answers the phone.

Mentally
smacking myself in the head. Here I am thinking all these perverse thoughts about him and me when the guy has a girlfriend or wife. Looking at his left hand, no ring.

“No,
sorry. … I’m sitting at Shannon’s hanging out with them. … No, she didn’t tell me. … This weekend? … Yeah, I’ll tell them. … Hahaha, well Jake needs to keep his mouth shut. … Okay, love you too. …”

Listening
to him say he loved whoever was on the other end of the conversation sent a surge of jealousy through me.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Huffing, I stand up and storm into the kitchen to start cooking supper. What was I more upset about? I don’t know. Before my parents passed away, I wanted to search for these feelings but not now. Now, I just wanted them to go away. There was no way a life like that was meant for me. No one would want to be around me. He’s only here now because Sebastian is his patient and he’s curious about him.

“Hey,”
Jack says from behind me.

I
didn’t respond, just bent down looking at stuff on the bottom shelf of the pantry. My knees were half bent and one arm rested on my thighs as the other reached out to move things around. Hearing a groan behind me, startled me. Whirling around, I looked at him.

“Are
you okay?” I asked, checking him over. Touching his face, tipping his head side to side, running my hands down his shoulders, then his arms, when he groaned again.  Looking back up at his face, confused, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m
fine,” he says, his voice deeper, more raspy.

“Well,
don’t scare me like that. I know this house is old, but it was my mom and dad’s so I try to keep it the same as they left it.” Realizing I was holding his hand, I yanked my hand back and went back to searching for what to make for supper.

“What
are your plans for the weekend?” He asked almost distractedly.

“This
weekend? Why?”

“I
want to take you guys out.”

Spinning
around, I stared at him confused. “Why would you do that?”

“Because
I like being around you guys,” he says softly.

“Your
girlfriend doesn’t mind you spending so much time with me?”

Jackson
looks at me confused. “My girlfriend?” Then it’s almost as if a light bulb goes on in his head. “That was my sister that was on the phone.” He says smirking at me.

“Your
sister,” I repeat, almost not believing it.

“Yeah,
I have five of them and nine brothers.”

My
eyes widen, shocked. “Your parents had fifteen kids?”

He
laughs and my face changes to one of awe. His laugh washed over me in waves of peace and pleasure.

“No.
My parents had eleven kids. My oldest sister, Kayla, is married now gaining me a brother there. My brother, Carson, is engaged and just had a beautiful little girl with his fiancée. My sister, Mary, is dating a guy named Tobey. He damn near died for my sister. Mary and Kayla are both expecting. I can’t wait for more nieces or nephews to spoil.  Then theirs Nate, though he’s not dating any member of the family, he’s still my brother. He helped save Kayla and fell in love with my sister Mary, but sadly Mary fell in love with Tobey. Then there are my blood siblings; Jake-my twin, Eli, Colt, Jeff, Nick, and twins Kylee and Mylee.”

“Damn,
your parents were busy.” Blushing red at what I just said. “I mean with chasing eleven kids around.”

His
laughter fills the room again, “Yeah, they were, but honestly, I don’t think they’d have it any other way. If you ask me they have been a little lost since we’ve all grown up and moved out on our own.”

Turning
so he can’t see the tears in my eyes at the thought of my parents not being around. That was harder than having to raise the boys. To know what they were missing all because of me.

Jackson
walked up behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders and turning me around. “I’m sorry. I know it must be so hard.” He says softly, looking down at me with sadness.

The
first tear fell. Jackson pulled me into a hug and the damn broke. I just cried, releasing everything that built inside of me out. He held on to me, running his hand through my hair. Resting his cheek on the top of my head, he whispered to me to let it all out.

Pulling
myself together after a moment, I stepped back from his warm, comforting embrace. “I’m sorry. Some days it just overwhelms me. Gah! Okay, I need to figure out supper.”

Turning
around, I started searching for something to eat again. Jackson being there was so damn distracting and he shouldn’t be. He shouldn’t distract me from anything.

“So,
about this weekend?” Jack says after a while.

“Are
you sure about this,” I turn around from cutting up potatoes to ask. “Please don’t feel obligated to do this. We’re okay just being us.”

It
wasn’t like it was a lie. We have been just us for a year now. I’m used to just having me and the boys. Do I hate my days? No. Are they exhausting? Yes, definitely. Honestly, I’m unsure of the last time I got a full night’s sleep even when my parents were alive because I was still there for the boys. My life hasn’t changed, only became more permanent.