Tracie Peterson (21 page)

“Mommy told me to play quiet and not bother you if you came home before she finished with her bath,” Morgan said, pulling back to study her father’s face. “Are you still mad?”

Dave shook his head. “No, sweetie. I shouldn’t have acted like such a grump this morning. Do you forgive me?”

“Sure, Daddy. We learned in Sunday school that you’re s’posed to forgive,” Morgan assured him.

“So Mommy is taking a bath?” he questioned. That at least explained why the house was so quiet.

“Yup. She had a bad day. The car got broken and she didn’t pick me up until late.”

Dave frowned. “The car broke down? Did she say what was wrong?”

Morgan shrugged. “I don’t ’member.” “Well, that’s okay. Why don’t you just serve me up some tea and you can tell me what kind of day you had at school. Then when Mommy gets done, maybe we can go out to eat. Would you like
that?”

Morgan clapped her hands. “Can we get hamburgers?”

Dave grinned. “I was thinking of something a little bit nicer. You know, something special to help Mommy since she had such a bad day.”

Morgan nodded. “Sure. We can do that.” She wiggled out of Dave’s arms and pulled on his hand. “Come on. My tea is getting cold.”

Dave had only been seated at the tiny table for a few minutes when his robed wife peeked in to check on Morgan.

Her expression was one of pure surprise. “I didn’t expect you this early.”

Dave nodded. “I know. But after the way I acted this morning, I really felt I owed it to you and Morgan to take you out for a nice night on the town.”

Instead of looking happy, Deirdre’s expression contorted into one of pure panic. “We can’t do that. You said we needed to be careful with money. Remember?”

Dave laughed. “I remember. I was just being a grump and now I want to make it up to you.” He got up and walked to where she stood. Her wet hair touched the top of her shoulders and Dave couldn’t resist putting his fingers to it. “Why don’t you just dry your hair and put on a pretty dress and I’ll get Morgan ready. There’s a new restaurant over by Oak Park Mall I think would be perfect for tonight.”

Deirdre stared at him in disbelief. “I’m still not sure it’s a good idea.”

Dave pulled her close, causing her to give a yelp of surprise. He tightened his hold on her. “Did you have something else in mind?” he whispered against her cheek.

Morgan giggled. “Are you going to kiss?”

Both parents became rather self-conscious. Dave gave Deirdre a wink. “Later,” he whispered before turning to his daughter. “And just what if I am going to kiss Mommy, little Miss Morgan? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Morgan became very thoughtful. “Matt Smith says his daddy kissed his mommy on the mouth and now they’re going to have another baby. Are we going to have another baby?”

Dave looked at Deirdre with a panicked expression. How was he supposed to handle this one?

Deirdre smiled at his sudden case of nerves. “Would you like for us to have another baby, Morgan?”

The five-year-old seemed to think this over momentarily before bursting into a huge grin. “Yes! That would be even better than getting a puppy.”

The tension broke for Dave with that one simple statement. For Morgan it was all issues of puppies versus babies. How he wished life could be so simple for him. Still, he wasn’t about to let his worries get him down. Smiling, he looked at his wife.

“So what do you think, Mrs. Woodward? Shall we have a puppy or a baby?”

Deirdre cocked her head to one side. “I’ll have to think about it,” she said quite seriously. But already Dave could see a bit of twinkle returning to her eyes.

“Well, think about it over dinner. I’m starved.” He scooped Morgan up and headed to his daughter’s closet. “And if you aren’t ready by the time we are, you’ll just have to stay here and eat canned soup.”

He glanced over his shoulder and found Deirdre smiling. Maybe everything would work out all right after all. Dave couldn’t help but sigh. Somehow he had to find a way to protect them. Somehow he had to make things right.

Chapter 18

The school year over, Connie loaded the last of her things into the car and headed home. Her apartment wasn’t but two miles from the school, but during that course of time she had come to a final conclusion about the man she was living with.

Ray Baker had been finishing up his degree at the local college when Connie had met him. It was winter break and he was attentive and helpful and said all the right things. And before she knew it, Connie had taken Ray as her lover.

Ray had moved in shortly after the spring semester began. He was happy-go-lucky and made Connie feel good. His temperament suggested that life was just a game and the only way you could fail at it or ruin it was to force yourself to make a move that made you unhappy.

“We call all the shots,” he had told her once. “I do what makes me feel good and you should do the same. Remember, you only have one life to live.”

But Connie knew that her upbringing suggested otherwise. Gram had said that God was in charge and that life didn’t end with physical death; rather, a spiritual one. But believing in Ray’s way was easier.

The apartment complex loomed up ahead and Connie felt a strange aching begin. It was right to send Ray packing, but for the life of her she didn’t know how she’d fill that void in her life. She had no classes to help with or even to participate in until she began as the assistant weight-lifting coach for a summer school class. Losing Ray would leave her with empty evenings and boring weekends. Maybe she shouldn’t ask him to leave. But deep in her heart she knew
it was the only way to get back on the right track. She needed to find her way back to the values and life-style she knew were right.

Connie parked the car in her assigned slot and reached over for her box of paraphernalia. Her whistles, lesson plans, pens, papers, and other assorted bits of her life as a physical education teacher were contained in that box. Throwing her purse on top, she made her way up the steps and into the apartment complex.

Internally, she continued to argue with herself. She could just wait until she got back from the farm. She was scheduled to go with Deirdre and Erica next week to take Morgan down to Grammy. And if Gram wasn’t back from taking care of Ashley, they all agreed that Connie should stay at the farm and take care of Morgan. Either way, she would be gone anywhere from a few days to several weeks, and Ray would be on his own.

Balancing the box on her hip, Connie unlocked the door and sighed. Answers regarding relationships had never been her strong suit.

“That you, Connie?” Ray’s voice called out.

She looked at the clock on the kitchen stove before setting her box on the counter. “Yeah, it’s me. What are you doing home at this hour?”

“Packing” came the answer.

Connie froze in place.
Packing?
She nonchalantly walked into the bedroom and found Ray clearing out his side of the closet.

“So what’s up?” She tried her best to only sound marginally interested.

Ray’s whole face lit up. His blond crew cut seemed to glisten, perhaps from a recent shower. “I’m going to Mexico.”

“Oh,” she said, nodding. “Vacation?”

“Well, actually, we’re going down for the summer. Some buddies and I got together and started talking about the cheap cost of living there, and one thing led to another. We figured we could spend the whole summer down there for what we would have spent for a week in California at a beach house.”

“You’re probably right,” she said, still not fully understanding what was happening. “What’s the plan after the summer?”

Ray shrugged. “Who knows. We might angle on down to South America. Just seems like the right time to be moving on.”

He was leaving her. Just like that.

Forcing herself to nod again, Connie smiled. “It does seem like the right time, doesn’t it?”

Ray grinned. “We’re so in tune with each other. I knew you’d understand. We sure have had a good time together, and man, it’s saved me a bundle to live here with you instead of trying to live on my own.”

“That reminds me,” Connie said, walking to her dresser. “You still owe me for last month’s phone bill.”

Ray nodded and pulled out several twenties. “This should cover that one and next month’s as well. I’ll try to call you from Mexico sometime. Who knows? Maybe you’ll want to come down and see our place once we get set up.”

“I doubt that,” Connie said, stuffing the bills into the pocket of her shorts. “How soon are you leaving?”

“As soon as I get this stuff together. Joey’s picking me up and then we’re heading off to get the other guys.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Connie said, the smile still pasted on her face.

Ray finished just as a honking sounded outside in the parking lot. He darted to the window and waved. “That’s him. Wow! I’m so psyched about this! Thanks again, Connie,” he said as he hoisted his duffel bags. “I really enjoyed our time together.”

“Yeah,” Connie said in a noncommittal manner. They made their way to the door. “Have fun, Ray.”

He turned and grinned. “I intend to.” He started to leave, then turned around again. “I left the key on the coffee table—oh, and some guy named Kevin called. Said he really needed you to call him back. Sounded kind of lonely.” Ray laughed. “Guess that’s perfect timing, huh?”

He seemed completely unconcerned that one of Connie’s previous boyfriends should call and leave such a message.

“Perfect,” she murmured.

Ray leaned over and gave her the briefest of kisses on the lips and he was gone. Connie stood at the open door for several minutes, unsure of what to do.

She closed the door and leaned against it for another few minutes. This was what she wanted anyway, wasn’t it? She had planned to ask him to leave, so why did she feel so suddenly abandoned?

A feeling of sadness washed over her and Connie went to the coffee table, where Ray had left his key. She picked it up and fingered it for a moment, then plopped down on the couch to think.

“This is silly,” Connie said to herself. “You wanted him gone and now he’s gone. So what’s the problem?”

The problem was, she wasn’t the one to back out of the relationship first. She had always made it a point to break up before her boyfriend could suggest doing the same thing. This had given her the control, and whenever she started to feel sorry for herself because her life was empty or void of a relationship, she simply reminded herself that she had orchestrated the entire matter.

But this time things were different. This time the control had been stripped away and she was left to stand in the wake of someone else’s choice. And it was obvious that the choice hadn’t been that hard for Ray to make. He didn’t seem the least bit upset by their separating and in fact had seemed completely unconcerned.
Didn’t I mean anything to him? Was I really nothing more than a cheap place to live until college was finished?
She struggled with her thoughts. Living free and easy—without ties or restraints—certainly wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. The guy just walked out of her life without anything more than a “thanks for the good times.”

“But that’s what you wanted, stupid!” she told herself aloud. She tossed the key back to the table and crossed her arms. “That’s the way I want it.”

I just need to get busy
, she thought. There was plenty to occupy herself
with, and in a few days she’d be taking a brief trip and that would change her scenery and give her something else to focus on. Resolving to put the entire matter of Ray behind her, she picked up the phone. She’d call a friend—a girlfriend. They could go out shopping, grab a bite to eat, and maybe even see a movie. She would just get on with her life. It was just that simple.

Ashley stared out the window and sighed. She had been home for only two days, and yet nothing seemed right. She was notably sore from the trauma to her abdominal region, but her recovery had been remarkable. Her doctors credited it to her good health and fit body.

Pity they couldn’t have done something to straighten out my mind
, Ashley thought. Her body might be knitting itself back together, but her emotional state was precarious at best.

Sitting down cautiously to avoid causing herself any pain, Ashley found herself engulfed in silence. Mattie had returned, albeit reluctantly, to Kansas, and Jack had taken the boys to catch a plane for California, where they would spend time visiting their aunt, uncle, and cousins before soccer camp started. Ashley had cried after the boys were out of sight. She couldn’t imagine having them away from her at a time like this. They were all she had now. All she would ever have.

Ashley put her hands to her stomach and blinked back tears. She had lost the baby. Not only that, but there would be no more babies. She kept having nightmares about Jack leaving her because of her inability to bear more children. She squeezed out such thoughts, but no matter how hard she tried to think positively, she felt an overwhelming fear.

Her nightmares weren’t just limited to Jack leaving. Sometimes in her dreams she found herself up against his accusations that she had killed their child. He would yell at her and say ugly, hurtful things. Then he would tell her that he wanted her to leave. Putting
her hands to her head, she sobbed. The accident had robbed her of so much, and the worst part was that she couldn’t remember any of it.