Tracie Peterson (23 page)

At the last minute, Deirdre’s plans changed and she found herself driving to Council Grove with Morgan alone. Erica had received a call to fly to Chicago to audition for a position with the Philharmonic, and Connie had come down with the flu. She supposed it was just as well. She was in no mood to make small talk with anyone.

There had been one positive occasion in her life. Dave had suggested they pay Mattie up front for caring for Morgan, and Deirdre had eagerly agreed. She knew Mattie wouldn’t take the money, but she thought if she could get her hands on a good chunk of cash, she might be able to make back the money she’d lost at blackjack. When Dave had soberly asked her how much the average babysitter earned, Deirdre had told him it was quite common to pay one hundred dollars a week. Then she quickly pointed out that this was for daytime care only. Twenty-four-hour care would probably be at least double that. Dave had hardly done much more than nod. He pulled five hundred dollars from his wallet.

“Take three hundred out of the ATM,” he told her.

Deirdre could hardly believe her luck. The eight hundred she had lost was now back under her control. It was a clear sign to her that God had answered her prayers. She wouldn’t take three hundred from the ATM, since she was already trying to figure out how to cover the three hundred she’d taken out weeks before. When Dave received the bank statements, he’d believe she had done just as he’d suggested, even if the dates were messed up.

The five hundred in her purse made her feel more at ease than she had in weeks. There was still the question of getting the necklace
out of the pawnshop, but she had another week or so to reclaim it. Smiling to herself, she almost felt that her problems were behind her. Almost.

But Deirdre couldn’t help but be haunted by her actions. She knew she had a serious obsession with the casino—even now while driving to Grammy’s, all she could think about was taking the five hundred dollars and turning it into a thousand by properly betting it.

“There’s Great-Grammy Mitchell!” Morgan called out, straining forward against her seat belt. “Oh, Mommy! Look at all her flowers!”

Morgan sounded positively awestruck, and Deirdre had to agree with her reaction. Gram had such a way with flowers. She could have grown roses out of clay in a snowstorm, she remembered Harry’s mother saying when they’d all been quite young. Now as they neared the house, Deirdre could see why.

Grammy waved from her rose garden and gathered up a basket of newly clipped flowers. She had just reached the porch steps as Deirdre shut off the car.

“Hello, dearies,” Mattie called out.

Morgan hurriedly threw aside her seat belt and jumped out of the car. “Grammy! I get to stay with you!” she squealed as if this might be news to Mattie.

“I know! I’m so excited,” Mattie told her only great-granddaughter. “We shall have lots of fun. Oh, and I have a surprise for you. My cat, Miss Kitty, had kittens earlier this spring and you’ll have lots of fun playing with them.”

“Oh boy!” Morgan said, clapping her hands. Then she noticed Mattie’s basket. “You’ve got beautiful flowers,” Morgan said, gingerly stroking one very pale pink petal.

“You can help me put these in water,” Mattie told her. “Would you like that?”

“Oh yes!” Morgan exclaimed. “Can I carry them into the house?”

“Why, sure,” Mattie said, handing her the basket. “That would
be a very great help to me.”

With a pride borne from knowing her task was important, Morgan jutted out her chin and secured the basket handle over her arm. “I get to carry the flowers, Mommy.”

Deirdre smiled. “I know, sweetie. Why don’t you go ahead and take them on in?”

Morgan didn’t have to be told twice. She marched forward like a bride going to her groom. Mattie and Deirdre both stifled their giggles until the child was safely inside.

“She’s priceless,” Mattie told Deirdre. She slipped her arm around her granddaughter’s waist and added, “but then, so are you.”

Deirdre accepted Mattie’s welcoming hug. “Before we get inside,” she said, pulling away. “Dave wanted me to give you money for taking care of Morgan.”

Mattie frowned. “You know better than that. I don’t take pay for the pleasure of enjoying my great-grandchildren.”

“I told him you wouldn’t, but he insisted.” Deirdre hoped she wouldn’t overplay her hand. She had to present the situation in such a way that when it was all said and done, Mattie would agree to keep mum on the issue of money. “I don’t suppose,” Deirdre continued, “you could just do it this once?”

“Absolutely not. I’ll talk to Dave myself—”

“No!” Deirdre said, grabbing hold of Mattie’s arm. “Grammy, he’s under such stress from this case and I think this would just burden him unduly. Maybe you could just say you took the money, or better yet, not say anything at all.”

“That would be dishonest, Deirdre. If he asked me about it, I wouldn’t want to lie.”

Deirdre felt her stomach burning. “Well, what if you took the money and gave it back to me?”

“What do you mean?” Grammy asked seriously.

“I mean, just take the money and then offer it back to me as a gift for our trip. Dave would understand that. He’d feel at ease because he’d paid his debt to you, so to speak, and you would feel at ease
because you wouldn’t have to lie about it.”

Mattie shook her head and grinned. “Will he really be that much of a stinker about it?”

Deirdre sighed. She was nearly home free. “He’ll be the worst kind if he thinks we’re leaving to have fun and you aren’t properly compensated.”

“All right,” Mattie said with a nod. “Give me the money.”

Deirdre felt her mouth go dry. What if Grammy had changed her mind? What if she actually did want the money? She reached into her purse and pulled out the five one-hundred-dollar bills. “Here.”

“Five hundred?” Mattie questioned. “Goodness, he must have a supreme sense of duty in this matter.”

Deirdre nodded, beginning to feel rather ill. She watched as Mattie folded the bills in half, then folded them again. Biting her lip, she waited to see what the older woman would do next.

“You know what, Deirdre,” she said as if completely changing the subject. “I sure hope you and Dave have a great time on your trip to Hawaii.”

“Me too,” Deirdre said, forcing the words.

“I think I’d like for you to take this money and have an even better time,” she said, pushing the folded bills back into her granddaughter’s hands.

Deirdre felt an overwhelming sensation of relief wash over her. “Oh, Grammy. How sweet of you.”

Mattie laughed and pulled Deirdre close. “There. Now you can satisfy that silly husband of yours and still have a wonderful time.” She glanced up at the house. “We’d best get inside and see what Morgan’s up to.”

Deirdre nodded. “I need to get our things out of the trunk and then I’ll be right in.”

Mattie nodded and took off for the front door, while Deirdre pushed the money inside her purse. It was all going to work out just great. Morgan would stay with Mattie, and Deirdre would keep the
money. Hopefully, Deirdre would have a chance to make up for her bad luck, and by the time she took off for her trip, everything would be back in its proper place. Afterward, Deirdre would be the one to come back for Morgan, and with any luck at all, Dave would never mention the money.

By the time Deirdre finished stashing their things in the upstairs bedroom, Mattie had sent Morgan off to play with Miss Kitty and her kittens.

“Now that you’re back,” Deirdre said, taking a seat at the small kitchen table, “how did you think Ashley was getting along?”

Mattie frowned and turned at the sink to wash her hands. “I think it’ll be a long haul for both of them. The boys seemed to take it all very well. Of course, they didn’t know about the baby and they can’t understand Ashley’s pain in never being able to have another child.”

Deirdre nodded. “How about Jack?”

Mattie dried her hands and went to the refrigerator to retrieve a pitcher of tea. “Jack is taking this very hard. He feels somehow responsible for the entire matter, even though he has no reason to. I think it’s the way of men. They feel it’s their place to make certain their loved ones are protected, and when something happens to them—well, they just feel inadequate. He and Ashley were so happy about having another child, and to have that stripped away, along with the prospects of ever having any more children, has left Jack just as confused and out of step as it has Ashley.”

Deirdre thought of her own mess and how distant Dave had become. It had started about the time she had started asking for more money. She grimaced when she thought of the correlation. She had insisted they landscape the yard, and since it was spring, it was the perfect time to get in there and do a good portion of the work. Then there was her own personal spending. A new wardrobe for Hawaii and summer clothes for Morgan. Not to mention the gambling.

“All in all, I think if they will just open up to each other,” Mattie
was saying, “they’ll get through this. Honesty is always the best policy.”

“I’m sure you’re right,” Deirdre murmured.

Mattie poured them both a glass of tea, then put the pitcher back in the fridge. “How about you? What have you been doing lately?”

Deirdre took the tea and shrugged. “Mainly getting the yard in shape and preparing for the trip to Hawaii.” She felt guilty, thinking again of her desire to gamble. The strength of that need was something that Deirdre herself didn’t understand, and she was deeply ashamed that she had somehow lost control.

“I imagine it’s been hard on you having Dave so preoccupied by his court case,” Mattie said with a sympathetic smile. “How’s that going?”

“He’s working himself to death,” Deirdre answered honestly. “I’ve tried to get him to slow down, but it’s almost like he’s obsessed with this one case. He’s been taken off of everything else and given completely over to this one project.”

“Obsessions are dangerous,” Mattie said thoughtfully.

Deirdre couldn’t resist the urge to lay her problem before Mattie. She just wouldn’t have to say that it was her own. “I’ve seen obsessions ruin the lives of some good friends,” she finally confided.

“Oh, really? What are they obsessed with?” Mattie asked.

“Gambling,” Deirdre replied. “They can’t seem to stop and they spend more and more. They get it into their mind that they can recoup their losses, but it doesn’t work that way.”

“If it did,” Mattie said with a look of patience, “the casinos would quickly go out of business.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Deirdre admitted. “Still, sometimes they have good luck. Especially this one friend of mine. She really seems to get it all under control. She’ll have a winning streak and do quite well, but I guess she just doesn’t know when to quit.”

Mattie nodded. “It’s a dangerous situation to be in. Obsessions take hold of your life and pretty soon that one thing is running everything else. I suppose that’s why I was worried when you mentioned that you were gambling with your friends. I know you
felt that it would be harmless entertainment, but look at what you’re faced with now.”

Deirdre nearly choked on her tea. “What . . . what do you mean?”

“Well, your friend is in trouble. I know how you like to fix things and smooth out problems for people, but, Deirdre, I have to say, this is one of those things you can’t fix for your friend. Don’t even try. She has to want to stop gambling and she has to see the folly of her ways. No matter how much you tell her she’s in danger, she won’t believe you. Prayer is about the best weapon you have in this situation. Prayer and maybe your own love for your friend. Maybe you could get her involved in something else. Maybe you could suggest to the gang that you all do something completely different.”

Deirdre nodded. She knew that Grammy spoke the truth. But it was hard to accept that she couldn’t just go back to the casino and have her luck restored. After all, that’s what luck was all about. Sometimes it was with you and sometimes it wasn’t. Besides, along with the thrill of the game, Deirdre felt it was the only thing she had any real say over in her life. Dave made most of their decisions on how money would be spent, where they would go, and when. Dave had even been the one to decide on Morgan’s private school rather than public school. And in most every case, the school issue included, Deirdre had wholeheartedly agreed with his choices. So why should she feel that she had so little say in her own life?

After a restless night of sharing her bed with Morgan, Deirdre dressed for the day, then woke her child. “You’ll miss the best part of being on the farm if you sleep through the morning,” she told Morgan. This was something Grammy had said to them since they were old enough to remember. And Deirdre had to admit, it seemed right.

Mornings held a variety of shows. Some were crystal clear with brilliant blue skies and vivid colors. Some were shrouded in misty
fog, muting the tones and blanketing the sounds. Still other days were frosty, showing icy drawings on the window glass and across the dried, dead grass.

Today was what Deirdre considered a soft morning. There wasn’t the heaviness of fog, but a light haze rose up from the lake and gave everything a rather surreal look. The sun was a pale lemon yellow and the lighting reminded Deirdre of a Monet painting. Morgan, of course, had no such conceptions or appreciation. She was already rattling on and on about how Harry was supposed to come today and take her for a boat ride.

“Grammy talked to him on the telephone,” Morgan said as she tied her sneakers. “And Harry said he would row over here and take me for a ride if it was okay with you.”

“Yes, I know,” Deirdre said with a laugh. “I was there when Grammy got the call.”

Morgan’s brow knit together for a brief moment, then relaxed as she continued. “I don’t know how to row a boat, but Harry’s going to show me.”

“Morgan, you don’t even know who Harry is,” Deirdre said, grabbing her daughter’s jacket.

“Grammy said he was the little boy who grew up next door. I like to play with little boys.”

“Yes,” Deirdre replied. “But you aren’t listening to exactly what Grammy said. He was little, but he grew up. Harry is a grown man who’s about the same age as your daddy.”