Tracie Peterson (29 page)

“I won’t be a minute,” Brook said as she pulled into a parking place and shut off the engine to her rental car.

Ashley watched her sister’s jean-clad figure disappear through the back door. Brook had put on a little bit of weight since the last time Ashley had seen her. Given the twenty pounds Ashley had dropped since her accident, she was now clearly the thinner of the two. There had been a time when that might have made Ashley smile, but now it really meant nothing at all. She would have gladly carried an extra fifty pounds if it meant that she could have her baby back safe and alive.

Movement at the far end of the parking lot caught her attention, and Ashley saw Gina Anderson walking toward a red sports car with a box in her arms. Gina had been one of Jack’s nurses for about five years. The buxom redhead had always been a favorite of Ashley’s. Friendly and sweet, the woman’s gentle nature made her a wonderful nurse. But today, Ashley didn’t want to deal with her or anyone else. People were always trying to encourage her, to offer her comfort and hope, but Ashley refused portions of either one. There was no comfort and certainly no hope.

As she watched Gina put the box in her car, Ashley could have sworn the woman was crying. For just a moment, Ashley flashed back in time. It was the day of the accident and she was standing inside the clinic, talking to Shelly. Then just as quickly as the image had come, it was gone.

“I was here,” Ashley whispered to herself. “I just know I was here the day of the accident. But I don’t remember it and Jack swears he didn’t know about the baby until the surgeon told him I’d lost it.” She tried to rationalize it all. “But if I had been here, I surely would have told Jack about the baby. We were both hoping to have more kids. He would have been happy.”

She pressed her fingers to her forehead and closed her eyes. She tried to will the image to return to her mind, but as Gina drove out of the parking lot, Ashley’s mind seemed to scramble. Against her better judgment, Ashley got out of the car and made her way up to the clinic door. She had a strange sense of this being important to her earlier image, but nothing would take hold in her mind.

Opening the door, Ashley made her way into the clinic. She stared around the room for a moment. Everything was pretty much as she remembered it. Mauve carpeting, coordinating wing-backed chairs. She’d helped to decorate this office, so it came as a very familiar scene to her. The walls held pastoral paintings and a delicate mauve pinstripe down cream-colored wallpaper. She remembered it all in detail. So why couldn’t she remember the day of the accident?

“Ashley!” Shelly gasped as she rounded the corner and saw her for the first time since the accident.

“Shelly.” Ashley spoke the name almost as if she were trying it out.

“How are you feeling? Jack has kept us updated, but we’ve all been so worried.”

“I’m better. Thanks.”

Shelly nodded and her expression was one of pure sympathy. “I’m so sorry about your loss.”

“Everyone is,” Ashley replied, not wanting to continue along that line of conversation. “One of my biggest frustrations, however, is not remembering the day of the accident. Maybe you could help me fill in some of the details.”

“Me?” Shelly’s voice almost sounded like a squeak as she continued. “I . . . I don’t know what I could tell you.”

Ashley frowned. The young woman was notably uncomfortable. But why? Why should it bother her to help Ashley better understand the minutes leading up to her accident?

“I remember that I came here,” Ashley told her. “I thought maybe you could tell me more about what happened while I was here. How long was I here?” She pressed the question, knowing that if her bluff failed and she really hadn’t been at the clinic, then Shelly might well believe her to be crazy.

“I don’t remember,” Shelly replied, the color draining from her face. “You weren’t here very long.”

So I was here!
Ashley’s mind began to whirl. She opened her mouth to ask Shelly something else, but Brook and Jack were coming
down the hall laughing. Shelly seemed relieved and hurried back to her receptionist’s desk as Jack noticed that Ashley had come into the building.

“Ashley, I’m so glad you decided to come in. I was just coming out to tell you good-bye and see you two ladies off to the mountains.”

Ashley allowed his embrace, then stepped back. “Jack, I saw Gina leaving. She looked upset and she was carrying a box.”

Jack cleared his throat nervously. “She resigned. She’s taken a better position with another doctor. Nicci quit too, but we knew she’d be leaving once summer got here.” He looked at Brook as if to explain. “Nicci’s husband is an airline pilot and they relocated to California.”

“That’s too bad,” Brook said before Ashley could comment. “I hope that doesn’t leave you shorthanded.”

Jack shook his head. “We use a temp service sometimes. They have a great pool of nurses and we’ve used several here at the clinic when things were tight. You know, like during the holidays and vacations.”

Brook nodded. “Well, I suppose we’d best get on our way or we won’t make it up to the house before dark.”

“Let me walk you out,” Jack said, pulling Ashley close. “You will call me when you get up there, right?”

Ashley nodded and watched her sister lead the way back out to the car. She longed to get away from Jack and everything, but at the same time she longed to ask him the question that was burning in her mind. Had she seen him the day of the accident? Now that she knew she’d been at the clinic, it made much more sense as to why she was heading south on the interstate.

Brook seemed completely happy to give Ashley and Jack a moment alone. She went and opened the trunk to pull out a jacket.

“Jack,” Ashley said slowly, trying to think of the right words, “I think some of my memory is coming back.”

His expression remained fixed, but instead of replying, he quickly kissed her. “In time it will come back or it won’t. You don’t
have to worry or try to force it.”

Ashley instantly felt as if something was wrong. Jack seemed very agitated by her announcement. She could swear she had felt him tremble. “I know I was here the day of the accident.”

Jack laughed nervously. “No, you weren’t here. I would know if you’d been here. It’s probably just your imagination working overtime. Give it a rest. Go to the cabin and try to relax. You’ve been so depressed and discouraged—I’m sure this will be just the thing to help you recover.”

He was talking ninety miles a minute and shifting from foot to foot as if the pavement had suddenly grown too hot. She knew this side of Jack. This was the Jack who had just been cornered to help with a project at the country club. This was the Jack who had to make small talk with the elders at church.

Ashley allowed him to walk her to the car and help her with the door. She knew something was terribly wrong. But what was it?

“You two have fun,” Jack said as Ashley slowly pulled her seat belt across her body.

“We will, Jack,” Brook replied and started the car. “We’ll call when we get up there.”

“Please don’t forget.”

He kissed Ashley again, then closed the door. Standing back away from the car, Jack waved and smiled broadly.
He’s lying to me
, Ashley thought to herself. She gave a little wave, then turned away.
Why is he lying about my being here?

Chapter 25

Estes Park was in the height of its tourist season. Memorial Day weekend always signaled the rush of travelers from as far away as Asia and Europe, and now as they entered the summer holidays, tourists packed into the little town like they were on a holy pilgrimage. The highway traffic barely moved as numerous vehicles competed for their coveted lanes. Everywhere they looked, people seemed to stream out from buildings and street corners, though most were oblivious to the growing numbers who joined their parade.

“Is it always this busy?” Brook questioned.

“Just in the summer,” Ashley replied.

Brook nodded and smiled. “I can see why. This is gorgeous scenery. Just looking at those peaks makes me want to don hiking gear and take off on some great trek across the country.”

Ashley said nothing and Brook began to worry. Her sister had barely said two words as they’d made their way up Highway 36. She had finally given up making one-sided conversation about the time they passed the town of Lyons.

“Do you want me to stop at the store first or just go on up to the cabin?” Brook asked.

“I don’t feel up to going grocery shopping, if you don’t mind,” Ashley replied.

“That’s fine. I can do the shopping. Jack told me how to get to your place, but I think I’m a little turned around,” she said as she pulled up to a stoplight.

“Turn there,” Ashley said, pointing. “Just follow that up and around and I’ll tell you where to go once we get past the shopping center.”

Brook nodded. At least Ashley was talking again. She maneuvered through the traffic and made her way just as Ashley had instructed. At Devil’s Gulch Road, Ashley had her make a right turn.

“Oh, Ash, I can see why you love it up here. I feel so at home. What a wonderful place to live.”

“I suppose so,” Ashley replied, then said nothing more until they neared her driveway. “That’s our place. Just turn in here.”

Brook stared in stunned silence at the massive two-story home. “You call this a cabin?”

Ashley shrugged. “I suppose it is a bit big.”

“I figured you had some little cracker-box place tucked into the hills. Ashley, this is a palace.”

Brook got out of the car, completely awestruck. The view was incredible. In the west, the tallest snowy peaks in Rocky Mountain National Park glowed in the lingering sunlight as dusk descended on the area.

“I think I’m in love,” Brook said softly, hoping Ashley hadn’t heard her. Her sister had pretty much given up on life and there was no sense rubbing in her own joy at the setting. With a sigh, Brook went to open the trunk as Ashley finally got out of the car.

“I’ll open up the house, then come back and help with the bags,” Ashley told her.

“Nothing doing. Jack said you aren’t to lift anything at all and no stairs. Doctor’s orders.”

Ashley shrugged. “That’ll leave you doing all the work.”

“I don’t mind,” Brook said, trying to reassure her sister. “I’m just so glad to have this break in my routine. Don’t you understand? I need to spend this time with you.”

Ashley’s eyes met Brook’s, and for the tiniest moment she felt as if she had finally connected to Ashley. But as wonderful as that would have normally been, the intensity of Ashley’s pain seemed to come over Brook like an avalanche.

Ashley quickly turned away and walked up the path to the house while Brook wondered how in the world she could ever help her
sister recover from this tragic time. Perhaps it was as Grammy had always said—there were some things folks couldn’t fix. God was the one who would have to be their help.

Hours later, when the clock chimed ten and the shopping had been tended to and the call to Jack made, Brook and Ashley sat before a flickering fire drinking flavored coffee. Brook longed to say something to draw Ashley out, but she feared hurting her sister. It would be cruel to add to her pain by demanding answers. Wouldn’t it?

But the more Brook tried to ignore her feelings, the more compelled she was to carry through with her thoughts.

“Ashley, I want you to stop this now,” she said without even thinking about the words.

Ashley’s head snapped up quickly and her expression betrayed her surprise. “Stop what?”

“Stop shutting me out,” Brook said, putting her coffee mug down. “You’ve been shutting me out since the accident. I’ve tried to share in this with you, but you won’t let me. Why is that? What have I done to make you push me away?”

Ashley paled and she looked back to the fire rather quickly. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, I do,” Brook said, refusing to give up. “We used to share our thoughts constantly. We could practically read each other’s minds. But now I know you’re putting up barriers between us. I can sense it in more ways than one and I don’t like it. I’m your twin sister. We agreed long ago that in spite of Grammy’s love, we would be closer to each other than to anyone else on earth. You can’t push me away without breaking that vow.”

Ashley shook her head, and when she looked back to where Brook sat, she had tears in her eyes. “I don’t want you to share this,” she whispered in a barely audible voice. “It’s too painful.”

“Maybe so,” Brook said, sliding off the couch to sit beside Ashley on the floor, “but you’d share my pain, wouldn’t you? Won’t you? I know it’s probably unthinkable for me to ask that, but I had hoped to come here and take some answers home with me. Not just
answers about you—but answers about me.”

Ashley wiped at her tears. “I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

“Bear this pain. Nothing is right.”

Brook nodded. “The baby.”

“The baby is only part of it,” Ashley finally admitted. “I’m so very sad, Brook. If I let you be a part of that, you would be overwhelmed. I can’t imagine anyone living through this.”

“You’re still alive, so there’s proof that a person can survive.”