Trailer Park Princess (19 page)

I barely get the last sentence out before his body crashes into mine with such force it knocks the breath out of me. He kisses me so hard that my veins ignite like I’m being electrocuted. I can feel the insane buzz all through my body, my toes zinging from the pleasure of his lips on mine. My lids flutter, and my eyes roll back in my head. My body goes limp. I am having a love overload.

“I am amazed when I look at you, Rory. Not because of your beauty, but because you are everything I have ever wanted, and you are right here in front of me. If I had a hundred hearts, they would be too few to hold all the love I have for you. You don’t mean just anything to me; you mean everything to me. You are the only woman that can make my heart smile like this. Every time I look at you, I want to stop what I’m doing and write you a love song. It’s been so hard all these years, having to pretend it was nothing when you have always been everything. I think about you every night to the point I don’t sleep if you aren’t there next to me. When I hear your name, I smile because my heart demands it. I am constantly finding things to keep myself busy so my mind isn’t so consumed by you because I fear I may forget to breathe. That is how much I love you.”

Then he smashes his lips to mine again, harder this time. He is kissing me as if he’s scared it isn’t real, or like he’s claiming his territory. He’s branding me as his. I think back to the night Toby called me his and I flew off the wall at him. I didn’t want to be anyone’s property. But now, with Rome doing the claiming, I find I am all for it.

“I am yours forever,” I gasp out between kisses. I wrap my legs around his waist and close the tiny gap between us.

“Mine,” he growls as his hands slide into my hair. I push and suck in deep, grabbing at my phone.

Me-
I told him!

Mando-
And?

Me-
Thank you!

Mando-
HA I knew it, you twoz are sluts! Now, go make me some babies!!

We both burst out laughing so loud we wake up Saige.

“This will have to wait, Princess. My baby girl is awake,” he says as he lets go of me and walks towards her room
.

I am so nervous. This is different from singing at Reds. This is my job. This place is full of people I serve and chat with daily. But I promised to open up, so I will.  I never thought I would be the cause filling the small diner on a Thursday night. It’s great for business, and everyone is happy. Except me…I am scared to death. What if they hate me? What if I break down? Ugh… enough stalling, I have to get this over with. Crossing my fingers and shooting up a silent prayer, I walk across the checkered tiles to the makeshift stage area. I take my seat at the bench set up beside my keyboard.

The sound of the song is different. It has a faster beat than when Skillet did it, and it’s in a deeper note. It is meant to sound more like I feel than how it was written. I need the pain to strain through, but still have the love radiate out of me. Getting in the zone, my head automatically drops, and my eyes close. My fingers are moving across the keys fast, flawlessly, and completely effortlessly. It’s so natural to me.

The pain I had over Toby is waning with the realization that Rome is actually fixing me. He always has been. I feel my shoulders slump with the weight of the world on them, and my chest is heaving, racking with silent sobs. It’s an odd feeling to be so happy yet still have this sadness buried within me. I need to snap out of this, but I can’t. As soon as I strike the key and open my mouth, something happens to my body. My back arches; my eyes squint harder; and my head drops back, looking towards the ceiling. Right when I think I am about to lose it in front of the entire diner, the words fall out on their own accord. I can hear myself, but it doesn’t sound like me. I’m not crying, but I can feel the tears in my broken voice. It is a smooth sound, but it’s hard for me to breathe. I push the words out with everything in my soul. I am belting it out with all of my broken heart, laying it out, leaving it all on the keyboard. I am not singing to these people; I am singing to Toby about a child he neither knows nor loves. Toby needs to know I missed him and loved him like crazy. He needs to know he is missing Saige’s life. But I need Rome to understand he is the man I dream about every night. He needs to know it will always be him. I know Toby will never come back to me, and I no longer want him to. At least with this song, I can have my own type of closure. It’s been so long. It’s time to move on and let it go. Saige doesn’t need Toby. This is my goodbye to the silly dreams of a young, naïve girl. Rome will love Saige enough for him and Toby. With that clarity, I open my eyes as I sing the last line of the song, staring out into nowhere. I adlib the last line. “I’ll always miss you. Goodbye, my first lust; hello, my first love.” I stop fast and stand to walk away when the entire room erupts with clapping. When I look around, every single person in the room is standing, minus the jackass and jackassette in the corner. I don’t know why Zac and Ashley even come. They hate us all, and neither of them sings, writes, or plays. It makes zero sense to me, but then again, they don’t have any sense, so that’s that!

Rome stands there smiling with a pained smirk. He holds his arms open, and I walk right into them. I fit perfectly as they wrap around my body and hang loose behind me. He touches his forehead to mine and smiles into my eyes. “Princess, that was amazing. You were perfect. You were, as always, flawless.” He lifts his head and presses his soft, firm lips against the top of my scalp. “You know I will love you and Saige enough forever, right?” I smile at him because I have no doubt that he will.

That’s a wrap
, is all I can think as I let myself smile and walk back to the counter to finish cleaning. I still can’t believe Rome and Mrs. Riaz talked me into that. Especially in my uniform! I bet I looked fabulous,
HA
!

It’s been a few months since Saige’s birthday, and things couldn’t be better. Rome and I are happy and content with life. Things are really starting to fall into place. We have a routine, and it works well for us all. I work mostly days now, outside of mic night. Rome has excelled at the auto shop, and he got a new employee this week, which he swears will lighten his load. He gets Rio and Thax to school and Denver and Saige to daycare. Then I pick the younger ones up after the boys get off the bus at The Diner. We usually come straight home, and while Thax does his homework, he helps Rio with his. I cook supper while Denver and Saige play in the floor of the kitchen with blocks or coloring books. Rome makes it home just as supper is finishing and at least half the kids have been bathed. It’s a lot for us. I mean, we’re still young, but we make it work. It’s all we can do.

Tonight is going to be out of the norm for us. Rome is bringing the new employee with him for supper. At first I got upset because I’m not a fan of random people we don’t know being around the kids. I always relapse back to what Carol put Thax and me through. After a long talk with Rome, I felt better. He’s a good judge of character, and I trust him. I hear the door shut, and Rome hollers across the house, “Honey, I’m home.” He’s done that since the day we moved in, and it’s always brought a smile to my face,  but now it means so much more. I hear the boys stomping hard as they run to attack him with hugs, and following close behind them is the pitter-patter of tiny feet as Saige runs and stumbles towards the front room. I pick her up halfway and prop her on my hip. I walk right up to Rome and kiss him on the cheek.

“Where’s your friend?” I ask as Saige all but jumps from me to him. He takes her and hugs her close.

“He’s coming. He had to make a phone call.” No sooner than he says it, the door opens, and my mouth hits the ground.

“Holy Roly Poly, CLAY?” I laugh and my arms shoot out grabbing him in a hug.

“You know each other?” Rome asks from behind me, sounding a little pissed.

I turn back to Rome. “Yeah, he went to school with me. He was friends with Toby.” My voice trails off at the end, and I cringe. I should have left that part out.

“Hey, hold up,” comes from behind me, and I turn to see that Clay speaking to both of us. “That’s kind of unfair and untrue. I knew him in school, but we weren’t really ‘friends.’ We just happened to run in the same group.”

I give a weak smile and motion for them to follow. “Food’s ready.” I fix the kids’ plates and ship the three boys off to the coffee table to eat so we can all fit at the table. I get Saige a plate while Rome buckles her into her high chair.

Once we all sit down and get situated, I just have to ask, “Why, if you weren’t friends, were you always taking up for him with me?” I can’t help it. The Toby talk is always touchy for me, but it would drive me nuts if I didn’t ask.

“I wasn’t really taking up for him as much as I was trying to keep you from being hurt.” He crams his fork in his mouth to buy some time. “This is good,” he says, pointing at his vegetables. “I always saw you close by but never with Toby. He never tried to make you a part of the group, yet he still kept you from making other friends. He never corrected Ashley when she said mean things about you; he even laughed at some of it. You never seemed happy really, and that made me sad. I just felt the need to defuse whatever was going down before he decided to flip it and embarrass you.”

I sit and gather myself before speaking. “Toby was a good guy once, and I think I may have been happy at first, but it’s over now, and whatever caused you to feel like you needed to save me, I thank you for that.” I start eating, but apparently, Clay has more to say because he stops and looks up.

“I don’t think Toby was ever a good guy. I don’t think he ever got the chance to be a good guy.” He just leaves it at that.

We finish our meal before Clay speaks again. “So how did two people your age end up with a house full of half-grown kids?” he asks, pointing to where Thax is dropping dirty plates into the sink.

“Well, those two little guys are Rome’s baby brothers; this one here is Thax, my younger brother; and that…” I pause, looking over at Saige. She has done her famous Sleeping Beauty trick and passed out in her green peas. “That one there is mine. She’s why I tested out of school instead of finishing it out and walking.”

Clay’s eyes get big, and he looks between Rome and Saige a few times. “She’s yours,” he says questioningly, pointing at me, “but not yours?” as his pointing finger moves to Rome. He looks back to me for confirmation. “Right,” he says, answering his own question. After a few seconds, he finally asks what I know is coming. “Is she Toby’s?”

I purse my lips in a tight line and barely nod my head.

“WOW!” is all he says.

Rome chimes in, “She may not be mine by blood, but she
is
mine. As much as Rory is mine, that child is MINE.” He says it with enough power to turn over a semi-truck. “I have loved her from the second I found out Rory was pregnant, and I have not missed a single thing in her life. I will never miss anything. DNA won’t change that.”

I know he’s saying all of this because he wants Clay to understand that he will do anything to make sure that stays the case, but I believe he’s saying it for me, too. He needs me to know just how true his words are. He confirms my guess when he turns to me, looking deeply into my eyes.

Clay surprises us both. “Labels don’t create families; love does. And you would have to be blind as the three blind mice to not see the love in this house. I feel humbled just knowing you guys.” He smiles, and we make our way to the living room to play a board game before the kids have to crash. I think a new friendship has been kindled.