Transcending Queen (12 page)

“She’s a grown woman and will help me become
a better man. I’m determined to do this.” He declared with such
passion he surprised himself.

“She’s nineteen years old and can’t possibly
know what she wants yet. You’re taking advantage of her
vulnerability, she’s weak right now.”

“She knows what she’s doing.”

“If she really knew the truth, would she
still want to go with you?”

“What are you saying?”

“I was there that night and saw with my own
two eyes. If you remember correctly, you were the one who told me
to keep an eye on her. Your nothing but an animal, you raped her!”
He yelled. Holding such a secret was tearing him apart internally
as he was forced to cover the lies of such a monster.

Clayton watched Joseph breakdown while he
restrained himself to calmly respond to his accusations, “We go way
back Joseph, I trust you will keep that between us. I won’t let it
happen again, she can trust me. You need to zip your mouth shut on
this one.”

“Oh yes, without a doubt. If she truly loves
you as much as it’s built up in your head, then you should be able
to tell her.”

“Let’s be realistic, please.” Clayton
insisted.

“Hell, if you were half the man you pretend
to be you wouldn’t have any reasons to harbor these dreaded
secrets.” Joseph ranted.

He held tight as his temper rose, he wanted
Joseph to shut up and regain his composure before he blurted it to
the entire community.

“You sick son of a bitch!” Joseph rambled
on.

His final statement was the last straw as
Clayton lunged forward brutally throwing him up against the wall,
“You need to shut this down. We both have too much to lose.”

Joseph struggled to get out of his grip but
Clayton’s power thrashed upon him like a raging bull. He understood
the fact that this battle is a definite loss. He raised his hand as
a sign of giving in when Clayton released his pressure grip. “I’ll
keep my mouth shut, but this is her life you’re fucking with. Think
about that.”

“As long as I can trust you, that’s all I
ask.” Father Clayton acknowledged refusing to look in his
direction.

“At least try to look at me when you say
that.”

He had glanced out the window but stopped and
peered back at Joseph to prove a point.

“You’ll buy my silence, I want a severance
package.” Joseph demanded.

Father Clayton hesitated, “I’ll come up with
something.”

“That something better be good.”

Jack stood in Tony’s face, well almost, a bar
separated them. “You don’t have any other employees?”

“Who in their right mind would work
here?”

“I dunno…someone needing a job?”

“No one needs a job that bad.”

“Alright so you’re the only employee, got
it.” Jack ribbed.

“What’ll you have?” Tony asked.

“The truth would be a good start.”

“Get to the point, as opposed to what?”

“Not the truth.” Jack happily clarified.

“Get to the point, Jack.” Tony insisted.

“Prostitutes, what gives?” Jack asked.

His eyes quickly darted around to make sure
no one else was paying attention. “What do you know?”

“Enough, now it’s your turn, get to the
point.” Jack said.

“It’s a small town and some men don’t have a
wife at home, that’s when people take advantage to pad their
pockets.”

“Why do people want to make more money? It’s
cheap living, hard living but cheap.”

“People get greedy, maybe some get bored.
Some just want a way out of here.” Tony stated.

“So, why do you personally want to make more
money?” Jack asked raising his eyebrows.

“No interest in answering that, sorry you’re
barking up the wrong guy.”

“I don’t think I am.” Jack admitted. “I heard
the girls have been around this establishment a time or two.”

“Look, it’s not a regular thing. Once in a
while they stop by, let a few of the men pop off and that’s it.”
Tony admitted.

“But you get some extra dough from it,
otherwise, why bother?”

“Yeah, I get a little reward. It helps keep
me afloat. I work a lot of hours and deserve a little extra boost
to my business.”

“Who’s the mastermind behind the scenes, the
one raking in the most to lose?”

“I can’t say, I don’t know.”

“Which is it?” Jack asked tiring easily of
this.

“Both.” Tony stated demanding Jack to
stop.

“I won’t quit, this is what I was sent here
to do. If you talk I keep you out of the loop, but otherwise you’ll
go down with the rest of them. It’s only a matter of time.” Jack
confided.

“Talk to Joseph. That’s the guy you
want.”

“He’s the mastermind?” Jack questioned.

“No, but he can get you answers.” Tony
assured.

“I followed that son of a bitch for days and
where there’s Clayton, there’s always Joseph not far behind
lurking.”

“He’s the one and only. Go to him, I’ll be
screwed if I tell you myself. I gave you enough information, you
need to leave.” Tony insisted.

I sprawled out with ear buds in, listening to
music blocking out the world. Everyone could duke it out while I
lay waiting for all the drama to clear. Like a storm passing
through if you wait long enough eventually the sun comes out again
and a fresh new day appears, clean and renewed. I’d come to terms
with John being gone, I guess. A death is something you never
really get over but eventually move past. While Barrington felt
like a lifetime ago, I still wasn’t ready to face what awaited me
there.

“Joseph, wait up!” Jack shouted.

He halted with a frown on his face not
wanting to turn around.

“Hey man, didn’t you hear me?” Jack
asked.

“I wasn’t sure I heard right. I figured you’d
call my name again.”

“I need to talk to you. Is there someplace we
can go?”

“No, right here is fine.” Joseph stated.

“We’re on the street. Don’t you want some
privacy?”

“No, plain sight is good.”

“Ok, suit yourself. Talk to me about the
prostitution business.”

“What?” Joseph questioned.

“C’mon, don’t play dumb. Tell me who the
leader is.” Jack insisted.

Joseph glanced around, “Where did you say you
want to go?”

“Yep, that’s what I thought.” Jack said
nonchalant.

“We can take my truck?” Joseph asked.

“No, my car is right over here.” Jack
insisted.

After they got settled with the doors closed,
windows up and parked just outside of town Jack started questioning
him again.

“I don’t want any trouble, Jack.” He
said.

“No trouble, I just want answers.”

“Tony, he’s the leader.” Joseph
confessed.

“Bullshit!”

“Why?”

“You stupid asshole”, Jack yelled as he
hauled off and hit him in the nose with his elbow.

“You shit!” Joseph called out.

“Tell me or I’ll keep going.”

“I don’t know!”

“Just a minute ago you said it was Tony!” he
yelled as he delivered another blow.

“Stop for a moment, Jesus, I need to
think!”

“No more time! Your Clayton’s right hand,
tell me!”

“I don’t know!” Joseph yelled back.

Jack got out of the car to create space from
this jackass and paced around before he got carried away and did a
regrettable act. Joseph followed and circled around the other
side.

“You know why I’m here.” Jack said.

Joseph said nothing.

“Clayton told me he knows why I’m here, so
why are you acting like you don’t know.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“So, then tell me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?” Jack asked.

“I have to answer to people, people who could
make my life a living hell.”

Jack took another breather letting that
statement soak in, “Who the hell is behind this?”

“People…men who are truly evil.”

“People or just one person?”

Joseph didn’t respond.

“Clayton.” Jack stated, waiting to see if
Joseph would lie to him. He observed Joseph wince and flinch as
though he didn’t feel safe any longer. “Clayton!” Jack yelled in
his face finding it necessary to hear the confirmation come out of
his mouth.

“Yeah, there’s more. Melissa, he’s planning
to take her away.” Joseph admitted.

“Did I hear you right?”

“He says he loves her but I think he’s trying
to break her emotionally, teach both of you a lesson.”

I felt exhausted when I heard a knock on my
door at the motel. My first thought, either Luann or Jack.
Hesitation set in when the knock came again louder vibrating the
door.

“I want in.” I heard from outside my
room.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Open the door.” The voice insisted.

I released the latch as he pushed it open
gently, “Can I come in and talk to you? I brought flowers from my
garden, a peace offering.” Colin stated.

“This isn’t right.”

“I know, that’s why I’m here. Can I come
in?”

“You can, but no promises.” I said.

“That’s all I ask.” He acknowledged.

I stood to the side as he entered calm,
collected and ready to talk. He found a glass, filled it with cool
tap water and put the flowers in it setting them on my
nightstand.

“You look at me now as if you see a
monster.”

“I’m not sure why you’re doing this. I
mustn’t be rescued and you shouldn’t feel obligated. I deserve the
truth, Colin.”

“I’m here in the middle of the day for
everyone to see. Exposed, amid rumors but no longer caring what
others think, no longer wanting to hide. That’s the truth in all
its glory or shame.”

“I don’t know if this is what I want. You
might be a distraction, but I’ll eventually have to get my life
back in order.”

“I don’t believe that, not for a second.”

“Right now we’re both desperate and searching
for the idea of what we think we want, that’s all this is.”

“Quit talking yourself out of this.” He
demanded.

“What then?” I stated finding it hard to
catch my next breath.

“We belong together in the shadows or beyond
in a new life, we belong together.”

“Once we move on, you’re a regular guy and
I’m just me…the taboo will be gone, the excitement will be no
longer and in the middle of our relationship the adventure will
fade. This right now is not reality!” I insisted.

“This is us, together as one. I can’t ignore
what we’ve shared. Regardless of what anyone says, this is worth
fighting for!”

“What if you don’t retire? I can’t stay here,
I won’t. I can’t be your mistress aside from the church and your
congregation. I demand a regular relationship and a typical
life.”

“You don’t think I want that too? You don’t
think I watch people around here with their families having that.
For some reason, God only knows why, I yearn for that too!”

“I don’t know if you can handle boring, maybe
if we had met under different circumstances or better timing.”

“You need me to be your rock and help you
through these bad times.” His hands surrounded my face cupping it
as he caressed my cheek and gave a smile.

“I can’t, not now. You should let me go.” I
pleaded.

“God damn it! Let this happen, let me lead
you.” His temper again rose as he didn’t have much patience. He
snatched the glass from the nightstand and flung it across the room
hitting the mirror as both smashed into tiny pieces. The flowers
lay crushed on the floor amid a wash of water and broken glistening
glass. I held still, scared he’d attack me next and out of nowhere
I caught myself with words again fumbling out of my mouth, “I want
to feel secure with you. I don’t believe it’s possible, but I want
to.”

“I’m dealing with a lot, but you know me.” He
stated gently as he kissed my forehead.

Tears rolled down my cheek, “This pull I feel
keeps me near. You’re destroying my sanity but I can’t help
myself.”

“I feel it too.” He comforted as his hold was
tight.

“I love you...” I whispered as I stood
trembling in his arms.

He nodded, softly enveloping my lips with his
as he lay me down onto the bed pulling me into him, “It’ll change,
I promise.”

Chapter 18 – Say You Love Me

I heard the water running in the bathroom
before throwing the blanket off and heading towards a mirror only
to find the mess that still lingered from yesterday. As I blindly
tried to pull myself together the best I could, Colin strolled out
neatly tucked and ready for the day.

“Hey…”

“Good morning.” He said.

“So, what’s going to happen now?”

“I got meetings all day, church stuff.”

“When will I see you again?”

“Hard to say, congregation needs me. When the
timing is right I’m guessing.”

“Fine, just go.” I stated nonchalantly
forcing myself to hide anger and frustration. I wondered why I even
bothered with such emotions, but some things were out of my
control.

“It’s complicated, Melissa.”

“Yeah I know, you belong to your congregation
that you hide behind. You’re making it complicated! You want to
retire one minute and then you’re over it the next, kind of like
your feelings for me.”

“I…we…then…” he stalled.

“We’ve been through this so many times and
it’ll never change. It’s no surprise here.”

“Your right, it’s me, I don’t know.” He
stated.

“I’m done talking.”

“I have obligations, I can’t just leave.”

“You can do anything you want.” I
suggested.

“It’s not that easy, I’ve got a lot of things
tethering me down.”

“Why do I feel our conversations never go
anywhere?” I questioned.

He stopped talking with his back to me.

“Please don’t be a priest right now waiting
for me to answer my own questions. I need Colin in this
conversation.” I insisted.

He turned and met my stare as if he wanted to
say something, but knew better.