Transcending Queen (8 page)

I hesitated not knowing how I could possibly
explain my life before him. I felt as if he wouldn’t approve, he is
a priest after all. How could he possibly relate? Even if Jack was
right about him, I still didn’t know what he was capable of or if
the rumors were only rumors. “No, I have no interest to expand on
that thought.”

“Well Melissa, you have to let me in. I can’t
read your mind.” He reprimanded.

I didn’t have a comeback.

“You’re telling me that I let you in my house
and clean up after you’ve had a crazy night out and you still can’t
confide in me?”

Silence burdened us as my ears rang
unrelentingly and became a distraction from his stare.

“It’s been an exhausting day. We can pick
this up again later.” He stated at the end of his rope.

He followed behind as I made my way to the
front door before turning to ask him a question, “What if I don’t
want to go?”

He hesitated before asking, “What are you
implying?”

“The other day when Jack interrupted, you
tried to block me from leaving. What did you want from me?”

He looked as if the air had been cleared from
the room and started to turn pale. “Melissa, it’s not good timing
or something I want to discuss…”

I cut him off tired from these games, “I feel
it too, the chemistry and tension between us.” But before he could
comment, I saw blood on his shirt. “What’s this?”

“Gardening accident…cut my hand. My mind was
elsewhere.”

“Must’ve been one hell of a cut?”

He shrugged his shoulders checking the time
on his watch assuring he’d forgotten another appointment at the
last minute, not to mention he would now have to change his
shirt.

Chapter 10 -- Lost

“Luann?” I hesitated.

“Yes, what is it this time?” she asked
fatigued and with a sigh.

“Look, I want to apologize about before. I’m
just drained from people assuming things without even asking or
including me in their decision.”

She shot a look and a grin letting me know
she’d accept the apology, “Well, I probably deserved it. This place
gets to all of us at times.”

“So, I need your help.”

“Alright, well, spit it out.”

“What do you really know about Father
Clayton? I want to know the truth, no more smoke and mirrors.”

“I know enough to stay away.”

“I hear you, more details and make sure to
only give me the facts.”

“He’s nice enough and very private, tends to
several churches and stays busy with congregation members. I’ll
tell you, if you don’t heed his way then it’s the wrong way.”

“His personality, have you noticed unusual
quirks?” I asked.

“He can seem very charismatic, empathetic and
loving but a smart chameleon when he needs to be. He plants ideas
into their heads so people believe exactly what he needs them to.
Nobody can pull off being everything to everyone if you’re truly
being yourself, except for him.”

I stayed quiet soaking in all she was willing
to part with, not interrupting her train of thought.

“I’ve seen sides to him that most people
overlook. It’s hard to explain and he’d deny it in a
heartbeat.”

My ears perked up as she stated those words,
“Like what? Tell me what you saw.”

“I had sessions with him after my father
died. One session, a man I had never seen before came to ring the
bell when Clayton told him to get lost.” She lost herself deeper in
thought as her eyes glazed over before continuing the story. “A
little later the man came back and when they exchanged heated
words, Father Clayton eventually raised his voice and the
discussion didn’t end there.” She stopped momentarily.

“What happened next?” I asked with shallow
breath.

“He punched the guy.”

I eagerly waited for more, “And then?”

“They stood under this tree with a good size
branch hanging low from the storm that took place days before. He
grabbed the branch, swung it as hard as he could and knocked the
man unconscious. It was like he had the power of several men in one
blow.” She admitted as if she still relives it over and over again
in her head. “This man, I still don’t know who he is, but he lay on
the ground bleeding while Father Clayton walked away. It’s not
exactly what you’d see from a typical priest.”

I squinted at her wondering if that’s all she
saw. I’ve personally have never seen a priest hit anyone. However,
a punch is a punch and it’s not likely he pulled a gun or beat the
man to a bloody pulp. “Is there anything else you can give me?”

“Nope, that’s enough.” She said as she went
back to finishing her desk duties.

“You don’t attend church these days?”

“No…not now.” She said.

I lingered in disbelief wondering if there
was more she’s hiding or maybe I’ve seen too much to think it was a
big deal, “I got to go, but thanks for your help.”

She shook her head and forced a smile
releasing me from the awkwardness of this situation.

Father Clayton strolled into the steak
restaurant to find Joseph sitting in a booth by the window.

“So, what do we got?” He asked as he sat down
thoroughly ready to enjoy a tender, juicy steak and some nice wine
perhaps.

“Melissa’s on her own, Jack has cut the
cord.” Joseph informed.

“So, this is all about little old me?”

“I think we already know that answer.”

“Keep tabs on Jack and make sure he stays
away from Melissa. I want my time alone with her, weak and
unprotected.”

“I think you’ve already done enough. I
thought you said you loved her?”

“Knowing me, do you really think I’m capable
of loving anyone besides myself?”

“Point taken, I’m just saying, it’s getting
confusing. I’ve never seen you mix personal affairs and business
together. You seem torn trying to be this guy you’re not and that’s
a weakness.”

“If there was anyone that could make me love
them, it would be her. But they came with one agenda on their
minds, to ruin me and I won’t be taken down especially not by a
young girl.”

“This whole game they’re playing now could be
a trap within itself. Why don’t you forget about her altogether and
let it go.”

“Do you think they can outsmart us? Don’t you
worry, I’ll get everyone where we need them to be and make her wish
she’d never come across me. We have to teach everyone a
lesson.”

“I understand your obsession with Jack, but
she’s just a child. You should let her out of it before it spirals
too far out of control.”

“Well now Joseph, I believe I can have my
cake and eat it too. You just watch me.”

Deconstructing my conversation with Luann, I
was convinced there was more she’s not telling me. I would have to
spend some extra time with her in the hopes she’ll tell soon
enough. But the real question is still unanswered, “Where the hell
is Jack?” My thoughts then reverted back to several nights ago when
I ran down to get a soda out of the vending machine and spotted him
in the parking lot. I was about to call out when a woman entered
the picture, a woman I’d never seen before. So when I saw her lean
over to give him a kiss I was shocked. I watched perplexed not
really sure what I should do next. When he glanced back my way, I
crouched down a little out of reflex and scooted back to my room
before he noticed. I couldn’t connect his plan behind it.

After making my way back down to the lobby I
asked Luann, “What’s with Jack and that woman?”

“She showed up probably a couple nights ago,
they’ve been tight ever since.”

“Who is she?” I insisted to know.

“Your guess is as good as mine. I don’t
recognize her.”

“Oh c’mon, these are small communities around
here. You’ve never seen her before?”

“I don’t know everyone. There are plenty of
people in neighboring areas. She could be from a city several hours
away!”

I bit my tongue and when that hurt too much I
clenched my jaw gritting my teeth having a hard time understanding
why Luann wouldn’t have any clue about this chick. “What time is
it?”

“Um, looks like 6:30 pm, why?”

“I got another session, that’s all.”

This bad plan was progressively getting
worse. At church, service took place at 7pm. While I found an open
pew in the middle aisle, Father Clayton gave me an evil eye for
showing up late until I blended in. Other townspeople of all ages
were seated, pretty low number tonight but his big day seemed to be
on Sunday. These nights were for people with odd work schedules, a
crisis that couldn’t wait or some elderly who came more than once a
week. I suppose coming here beat sitting at home watching
television alone. I did, however, like the lesser crowd and the
more informal service even though it still had plenty of pomp and
circumstance to go around. As the hour wore on, Father Clayton
preached not taking his eyes off me or at least in my constant
direction. I sat stunned and afraid of imagining these things,
wondering why he would be doing something like this. “What was he
trying to convey?” When he turned his back to the congregation I
glanced around trying not to make too much movement and scanned
around to judge if anyone else noticed. The others were minding
their own business, set in prayer and heads bowed. He repeated this
conduct throughout the service leaving me unquestionably at a loss.
Then, I got another chance to check behind me nonchalant like maybe
a wayward soul sauntered their way into service and I just happened
to be in their field of vision caught in the middle. Not one soul
even close to my proximity behind me. I stayed put as uncomfortable
as it became until finally service concluded. No more kneeling,
genuflecting, signing of the cross or singing. Each person ended
with a last amen and headed back out into the real world to test
their knowledge and morals against all odds struggling to find
their strength. I, on the other hand, lingered.

When he came out from the back, I felt the
show for the townspeople was over. He had slipped out of his
robe-like garb and now seemingly more relaxed in just his clergy
uniform. He smiled as he came closer taking a seat extending his
arm behind me on the pew grasping my shoulder lightly.

“I’m glad you’re still here. I want to
explain the other night.”

“I was hoping we could clear the air.” I
admitted.

“Good, we’re on the same page then.” He
acknowledged.

“I didn’t want there to be any
miscommunication.”

“Me neither. The confessional, how many years
has it been?”

“Too many to count”, I uttered those words in
frustration understanding the tables had just turned again. I
cannot get any information from him when the spotlight is
constantly thrown in my direction. He has no problem putting me in
a box of discomfort watching me try to wiggle my way out as I’m
being worn down over time. I begrudgingly agreed to the hot box in
that very uncomfortable fiery seat.

Both of us sat face to face, it’s almost as
if he couldn’t wait to know my secrets. “Ok now, let’s start. I’ll
ask questions guiding you along as you confess not to me, but only
to God. I am just the middle man to get this accomplished in human
form.” He looked at me waiting for some sort of acknowledgement and
in return he got nothing but silence. “Do you understand?

“Yes.”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

It became embarrassing how much silence
filled the air as he watched and waited for me to speak up. I
shifted in my seat more than once.

“Alright then, let me give you an example of
this process.” He droned on during which my thoughts persisted of
how I was going to get him to stop being a priest for even just a
short period. “Now, are we ready?”

Snapping back into my current interrogation I
said, “Yes, forgive me father for I have sinned,” as my list went
on I got lost in the monotony while I pictured him listening to
hundreds if not thousands of these a year. “That about covers
it.”

“Good for your first time back, nothing too
horrible.”

“Colin…” he immediately cut me off.

“Father Clayton while in the church.” He
insisted.

I paused while studying his demeanor as I
questioned if that was really necessary, “Father Clayton, about the
other night.” As I was thinking how to phrase the rest of it, he
shut me down again.

“It’s fine, we were both tired. No need to
explain.”

“What did you think I would need to
explain?”

“I think we both misunderstood each other.”
He said brushing the issues under the rug as he brought us into a
standing position. The confessional was quite small and confined
causing us to bump into one another with little room to spare. Upon
losing his balance he accidentally pinned me in a corner when our
eyes met as we lingered in that instant, he could finally say what
we had both hungered for. It would be easy to acknowledge any one
of his feelings without it being unnatural. He raised an eyebrow
before admitting, “We should make our way out of here.”

Those words broke any anticipation I held
onto. As we spilled back out into the main entrance of the church,
I kept walking without so much as a glance back or a word
spoken.

“Melissa?”

Chapter 11 – Keeping Myself Sane

That night I decided to stay up late, watch
an old movie on television and try not to think about the obvious
question, if I missed some vital piece of information. A knock at
the door came unexpectedly. I quickly peered into the mirror and
breezed over to the door expecting, “Jack?”

“I saw your light on, can I come in?”

“Might as well.” I voiced with
disappointment.

“How you been? Expecting someone else?”

“I could ask you the same. What’s with that
woman the other day? Who is she?”

“Just a girl keeping me company while I’m
here, that’s all.”

“There has to be a reason why you’re with
her, you don’t just do that kind of thing.”