Twin Ties 1: My Brother's Lover (23 page)

In the kitchen of Alek and Luka’s house, both of them lost in their thoughts, the clock ticked steadily away. For each of them, it was all about the one person they were infatuated with. For the first time in their lives, everything seemed normal to Alek, like they’d finally found their way to the life everyone else had always thought they should have and discovered partners they could love and be committed to, without complications. Part of Alek wanted that desperately. But it was the rest of him that contributed to the strange, new silence between them, keeping the brothers from meeting each other’s eyes lest they see something lurking there that might threaten to spoil their pure intents.

“How about you two?” Alek asked. “Any big plans?”

Luka and Presley locked eyes for a second, communicating without speaking. The trouble with this was that Alek knew Luka infinitely better than Presley and could read his thoughts as if they were his own. With a glance at his brother, he figured it all out.

“Nah,” Carter said, shrugging. “Gonna stay in and hang out. Take it easy.”

Presley purposefully didn’t look at Alek. Luka saw Alek open his mouth to speak and nudged his leg under the table. Alek’s mouth snapped shut. He decided to let it go. If they weren’t ready to talk about what was going on between them, Alek wasn’t going to force the issue. Presley had always been closer to Luka than Alek, and had his trust. It wasn’t something Alek intended to step on.

Luka had wanted to see Brennan all week long, ever since they last saw each other on Sunday morning. Brennan kept deflecting requests to get together by saying he had some stuff to figure out, promising they could spend the whole weekend together if Luka gave him a few days to get situated. So they spoke on the phone daily. Talking to Brennan always left Luka smiling and happier than he was before. Doing without Brennan’s company for so many days in a row decided Luka about how to move forward. If Brennan was still ready to take the next step physically, then Luka was too. Afraid of losing Brennan entirely if he kept saying no to sex, Luka thought that night might indeed be the night they got to be together for the first time.

He was beyond excited about it, but also wary. Luka’s relationships in the past had been all about sex. Even when he was in love, and ready to make it about something more than getting off, for the other person, it never got that far. Even with Jackie, she never was interested in committing to him, and simply moved on to find someone new when Luka got too clingy. That was why it’d been nice to, for once, focus on other stuff with Brennan—getting to be friends first, getting to know each other as people before becoming lovers. Luka considered Brennan a friend, not just a maybe-boyfriend. That was an incredibly important distinction to Luka. And he’d do anything to avoid messing things up.

Luka and Alek had been maintaining a healthy distance from each other, too. Once Luka found out Alek got tested for STDs for Evan’s sake, it made Alek off-limits for screwing around with. Happy for his brother, putting his own selfish needs aside, Luka let Alek make the rules. No sleeping together, no crossing the line like they’d always done. It had caused Luka heartache, but he knew it was the right thing to do. They hadn’t even really discussed the incredible coincidence of them falling for another set of identical twins. Luka felt like they might jinx their good fortune if they put it all out on the table for dissection.

After their makeshift dinner had been cleared away, and when Alek went to brush his teeth and prepare for the date with Evan, Luka pulled Presley aside. Luka asked him discreetly, “So? Everything cool? He treating you good?”

Presley clammed up immediately. “Listen, man, I can’t really—”

“Yes or no. It’s not that complicated.”

“No, it
is
complicated,” Presley argued.

“You deserve better than this,” Luka frowned. “A lot better. He doesn’t even respect you enough to acknowledge what you mean to him or what’s going on!”

“That’s because I ask him not to. It’s personal. I don’t need the whole world knowing.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed about! If being with him makes you happy, then that’s all that matters.”

“I’m not like you. He’s not my
boyfriend
, Luka, and I don’t want him to be. He just fucks me for fun, okay? That’s all it is. I don’t try to fool myself into thinking it’s more than that. Go on. Have your date with your little man-child and leave me alone, please.”

Presley was gone before Luka could respond, leaving him standing alone in the front hall. With a glance up the steps toward where he knew Alek was, Luka pushed past his hurt feelings and slung his bag over a shoulder, with his toothbrush, a few changes of clothes, and some other supplies packed inside. Not able to wait a moment longer, or wanting to be in that house anymore, Luka went out to his truck, jumping behind the wheel and flooring it all the way across town.

Brennan leaned inside Evan’s doorway, watching him towel-dry his hair. “You don’t have to leave.”

Evan shot Brennan a look of mute disbelief. Though on the surface innocent enough, that one statement might have been the most shocking thing anyone had ever said to him. It meant Brennan wanted to be there, in the house with Evan while Evan was with Alek—a tiny house with ridiculous acoustics and practically no privacy.

He chuckled to break the tension and turned his back. “You gonna protect me, Bren? From my own boyfriend?” When there was no response, Evan added, “This is your big chance. You’re finally gonna get to boink Luka, right? That’s what he alluded to anyway, from what you said. You don’t want us crowding you.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Then say what you mean.”

“I mean this is your house. Your home. Maybe it’s time to start bringing people home instead of acting like what you’re doing is something that should be hidden and lied about. Why haven’t you talked to Jimmy all week? He’s been asking me what’s going on with you, and why you’ve been so quiet. He’s worried.”

“He’s always worried. And this has nothing to do with me being ashamed of Alek or hiding Alek from Jimmy or anything like that. I’m just figuring stuff out. I’d think you would understand why,” Evan said pointedly, glancing over his shoulder at his brother. The reason Evan hadn’t called Jimmy was the kiss he’d shared with Brennan. It wasn’t about Alek. It was about Brennan. And Evan knew Brennan knew it was. It was the same reason they’d each avoided Alek and Luka all week.

“Then what’s going on?”

Evan chuckled coolly. “Don’t be naïve. You aren’t naïve, Bren.”

Brennan seemed to digest this and, after he did, said firmly, “You don’t have to leave.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You don’t trust me?”

I don’t trust
me, Evan thought, walking past Brennan to the bathroom. He closed the door once he was inside in order to block out the simultaneously alluring and distressing figure lingering in his bedroom.

For the next hour Evan cranked up his stereo and hid in his room once Brennan had given up on pestering him. He heard Luka arrive, letting Brennan answer the door and audibly tracking their footsteps which headed right into Brennan’s room. After that, Evan switched to headphones in order to further inhibit his ability to overhear them.

That was why he didn’t hear Alek’s knock at the front door when he arrived for their date, or Brennan’s annoyed shout of “Evan!” from the front hall. After Brennan let Alek into the house, he gladly showed himself to Evan’s room.

Evan looked up, surprised, from where he was laying on his back draped slantwise across his bed, spacing out and turning over and over in his hands an old football he and Charlie used to play catch with out back. He yanked the headphones off and twisted around, almost falling over himself in his hurry to get upright and standing.

“Alek! Hey. Man, I didn’t even know you got here. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” Alek grinned broadly, crossing the space and taking another look around Evan’s fairly sparse room. Alek walked over to look at a small collection of postcards with scenic views taped up by the bedside. There were mountains, rivers, the ocean, blue skies, and open fields.

Before Alek could ask about them, Evan said, “What’s in the bag?”

Holding out the white paper sack, Alek answered, “Cheeseburger. You said you usually don’t get around to eating dinner ’til late so I figured you’d be hungry.”

“Even though we said this wasn’t a dinner date?” Evan retorted with a half-smile. He accepted the cheeseburger, which smelled delicious. “Thanks. You keep giving me stuff. Food. It’s weird. But nice. So, thanks.”

“Well, where we’re going there’s not a lot of dining options. You’re welcome. We have plenty of time if you want to hang out here for a while. You can eat while it’s warm.”

Evan eyed the exit, “Bren and Luka are here. I don’t know. I thought we were going out.”

“We will,” Alek assured him. “I don’t think they care if we share the house with them. They’re just watching a movie in Brennan’s room.”

Evan gave in and sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed. Alek lay down behind him, getting comfortable.

“I like your postcards. Someone send you those?” Alek asked, pointing to the wall.

Swallowing a bite of burger, Evan ducked his head and answered, “Yeah, my dad. He travels because of his job and sends me those when he can. I don’t know why. It’s not like we don’t talk on the phone.”

“Liar,” Alek squinted. “You know why he sends them. You can tell me the truth. I won’t judge. What do you like about them? I mean, you hang them up. They must be special to you.”

“It’s stupid.” Evan rolled his eyes.

Alek softened his voice and said, “Tell me anyway.”

“He says he wants to show me how amazing it is to be on the road and see all of these places, how beautiful the country is. He does it to cheer me up, to let me know he’s thinking about me. I would love to travel like that someday. But my life is here right now.”

Alek slid his hand over Evan’s thigh, stroking in small arcs with his thumb. From his expression, it didn’t seem like Alek thought it was stupid at all. He seemed touched. “Why do you need cheering up?”

Evan shrugged.

“You really love him, don’t you? Your dad?”

“Yeah. He’s all I’ve got.”

“What about Brennan?”

Evan breathed out a half-hearted chuckle. “Well, he’s kinda new.” Through the open door, Evan could catch the low sounds of the movie playing in Brennan’s room. He cleared his throat and set down the remaining half of his burger. “Hey, can I ask you something unusual?”

“Shoot.”

“Okay. I’m really not sure how to say this without freaking you out or making you think
I’m
a freak, but, you’re a twin too, so here goes. Last weekend, something weird happened with Brennan and me. But it started before then. It started when he got here and I saw him, I think. Anyway. I don’t know what to make of it, and it’s making me question a lot of things and, hell, I don’t know.”

“Just ask me,” Alek urged. He was still stroking the top of Evan’s right thigh and shifted so he was sitting up instead of lying reclined on the bed.

Are you really going to tell him this? He’ll think you’re sick, perverted, and fucked in the head.

“No, you know what? Never mind. Forget I mentioned it.” Folding up the rest of the food in the wrapper, Evan moved to stand.

“Did you guys kiss or something?”

Sinking back down onto the bed, Evan looked quickly around at Alek. “How did you—? Yeah. He started it, though,” Evan blurted, knowing it was a lie, but whatever.

“Yeah, Luka and I kiss, too.”

“You do? But I mean, not like....”

“How much tongue are we talking?”

“...you’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

And he didn’t. That was the thing. Alek’s face was as dead serious as Evan had ever seen it. Initially, he couldn’t figure it out.

“I wouldn’t joke about this, trust me. You aren’t a freak, Evan. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re young. You’re messing around. It’s expected. Plus you two weren’t raised together. You don’t have a shared history giving you normal cues brothers usually feel. There are tons of people—siblings—who get adopted by different homes when they’re kids but meet as strangers as adults, and wind up hooking up. We’re attracted to people we relate to, right?”

“Are you mad?”

Alek’s eyebrows rose. “Um, no. No, I’m not mad my hot boyfriend kissed his twin brother and liked it. You did like it, right?”

Evan repressed a smile but the glint in his eye answered the question for him.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Alek told him quietly, brushing the back of Evan’s neck as tension built there, like he sensed it and his instinct was to soothe it away again.

“Thanks.”

Evan left Alek for a moment to go brush his teeth, and came back to catch Alek in the act, rifling through one of the drawers in Evan’s bedside table. He worried maybe Alek would want to talk more about the kiss with Brennan, or be thinking about it at least, but the first thing Alek said told Evan plainly enough he’d moved on from the topic.