Unconditional (18 page)

‘I would have helped you if you’d asked,’ I point out. She sits staring at her hands.

‘That’s not the point,’ she says.

I kind of get it. After all I know now what jealousy feels like, how it twists inside you, but how could Dannii have felt like this for however long and never said anything? Unless…I think of all the times Dannii has teased me for being a prude and a swot and wonder if that’s been behind her jibes all the time.

It’s no excuse though. However envious I am of her face, her figure, her ability to effortlessly attract a man, I could never have done something like this.

‘He must love you,’ she points out.

‘Why, because he managed to turn the luscious Dannii down? Get over yourself,’ I snap, standing up. Her mention of Joe makes me desperate to get to him, to apologise for not talking to him, for not trusting him. The thought that it might be too late, that this has ruined everything, makes me look at Dannii in contempt. She doesn’t seem to have a clue what she has done.

She sees I’m about to leave and pushes in front of me, her eyes desperate.

‘Don’t fall out with me, Ash. Say we can still be friends. It was just a stupid moment,’ she begs, grabbing my arm. I shake my head.

‘It’s not as easy as that. I need to go and sort this mess out, if I can. You’ll have to deal with Dean on your own. I’m sure you can make him take the pictures down, there’s laws and things.’

I know I’m being harsh but I honestly couldn’t care less about the exposure of Dannii’s boobs. I just want to get to Joe. She moves out of my way, but she calls after me as I’m
halfway down the stairs.

‘Please, Ash, you’re all I’ve got.’

I pause looking back at her and her face is so anguished that I can’t help it, I do feel sorry for her.

‘I’ll call you later,’ I promise, and she gives me a pathetic little smile before I rush out of the door.

I catch the bus to the garage, putting on some lip-gloss and trying unsuccessfully to do something with my hair. I have the usual butterflies at the prospect of seeing him, but they’re tinged with apprehension rather than excitement as I have no idea how he will react to seeing me. He might be angry at me turning up at work, I think, and almost get back on the bus.

I needn’t have worried, because he’s not even there. The guy that whistled at me before is in the office and he looks up in surprise as I walk in.

‘Joe phoned in sick today,’ he says.

‘Did he say what was wrong?’ I ask, my heart hammering. This isn’t like him at all, he loves his work. The mechanic shakes his head.

‘Nah, but he said he would be in tomorrow. He’s not had a day off before, maybe he’s got the flu.’

He squints at me.

‘You okay? You look upset.’

‘Just tired,’ I mumble, backing out of the door.

I have to wait another twenty minutes for the next bus that will take me near the park by the Estate, and I’m bouncing on the balls of my feet by the time it comes, wishing I had brought my phone. By the time I get to the park I’m flustered and panicking. What if he’s not even there? He could have gone to a mates or to the pub or anything, and then if Steph’s out too I’ll have to get all the way back home before I can contact him.

I’m so engrossed in my own anxiety that when I first
walk into the park I don’t even notice the fracas at the other end until a shout makes me look up. There’s a handful of girls and a larger group of guys gathered around two others who look like they’re about to have a fight. As I get a bit closer I see with a gasp who they are.

Jason, prowling menacingly in front of the other boy, shouting insults I can’t hear. His rival just stands still glaring at him with the intense eyes and scornful mouth I would recognise from any distance.

Joe.

I break into a jog as the crowd of spectators huddle together so that for a few moments I can’t see him. I shout his name but know he probably won’t hear me above the excited chatter of the girls on the edge of the crowd and the shouted encouragement from Jason’s goons. If they decide to jump in, Joe is going to get hurt.

As I finally reach them and start to push through the crowd I come face to face with Adam, who smirks at me.

‘Hey, have you seen those photos going round of your mate? Told you she was a slag.’

‘She’s not a slag,’ I say automatically. ‘What’s happening? Why are they fighting?’

Adam laughs.

‘Because of you, of course. Joe came through the park earlier and Jason said he heard you two had split up.’

‘And?’ I demand, at the same time thinking if Joe was walking through the park he must have been on his way to see me.

‘Jason said it was a free country for one of us to have a go,’ Adam leers, and my stomach drops. Now I’m not so worried about Joe getting hurt as I am about him hurting someone else. He’ll go back to prison, and it won’t be the juvenile version this time.

‘Joe!’ I shout again and start to elbow my way through
until I’m on the inside of the crowd and just a few feet from Joe and Jason. He hears me and turns, startled.

‘Ashley?’

I’m about to run to him, when Jason uses the distraction to make his move and his fist sails through the air.

Right into Joe’s face.

I scream, and start forward, only to have Adam grab my arm.

‘You’ll embarrass him,’ he hisses at me, and I glare at him, wondering why he’s so bothered. I turn back still caught in his grip just in time to see Joe stumbling backwards, his hand to his mouth. When he takes it away there’s blood on it.

‘I’m calling the police,’ says a girl next to me, and my eyes swivel to her in horror. What if they arrest Joe? But a lad next to her knocks it out of her hand.

‘Don’t be stupid, this is getting good,’ he says. He has his own phone held up and with horror I see he’s trying to record the fight.

‘That’s my boyfriend!’ I scream and try to twist out of Adam’s grip but he holds on like a vice. I turn back to the fight in time to see Jason rush Joe, but he’s ready for him this time and turns his head so that it just glances off his jaw then lands a punch straight on Jason’s nose, then stands back as the other boy staggers, nearly on his knees. Now he’s bleeding, and I feel sick. This is horrible.

Joe however is stepping away, apparently satisfied he’s got the better of him. I sigh with relief, sagging against Adam who still hasn’t let go. At least he’s not trying to cop a feel.

‘Get off her. Now,’ Joe says, stepping towards us. Then Jason speaks, his voice dripping with scorn.

‘Yeah, go on, go running to your little slag. Leave some for me, yeah?’

I close my eyes in distress at his words and the look of sheer rage that crosses Joe’s face when he hears them. When I open them again I see everything as if in slow motion.

Joe strides over to Jason, who looks panicked as if he wasn’t expecting him to come back and swings at Joe wildly. The punch connects with the side of his head but Joe barely seems to notice it and doesn’t break his stride. He grabs Jason’s collar and raises his fist, ready to smash it directly into his face. Jason looks terrified. But it’s Joe’s face that scares me. His eyes are wild, his pupils so dilated they look black and his mouth is set in a grim line. I don’t recognise him. I open my mouth to shout but nothing comes out.

Time stands still, and all I’m aware of is my heartbeat thundering in my ears and Joe’s fist poised to smash into Jason’s face. At that distance, with the power in Joe’s strong body, he’ll break his nose or worse.

If he gets into any more trouble he’ll hate himself. Finally, I find my voice.

‘Joe, don’t!’ I scream.

Something flickers in his eyes and he looks over at me, then back at Jason, who’s cowering now. Slowly he lowers his fist and I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. He pushes the other boy away.

‘You’re not worth it,’ he snarls, and spits at the ground near his feet, then turns to me. I smile at him and see the relief in his eyes, the anger draining out of them. I step towards him with my hand outstretched and Adam lets me go.

Just as Jason rushes at him from behind. I scream a warning, but he doesn’t need it. Joe spins and tackles him to the ground in one fluid movement.

Behind me, someone claps.

Jason drags himself to his feet, bloody and bruised and looking ashamed. Next to me Adam is shaking his head.

‘Coward,’ he says, and turns around and walks off. As Joe comes over to me the crowd begins to disperse. To my
surprise Jason goes over to Joe with his hand out. I watch in bemusement as they slap hands and then each other’s backs, nodding at each other. Boy code again. Jason slinks off with a few of his friends and Joe walks over to me. He looks tired and his clothes are torn and his lip bleeding but I have never seen him look so gorgeous. I go straight into his arms, burying my head in his chest, my heart bubbling up with pride. Not because he won the fight, but because he stopped before he went too far. How could I ever have doubted him? My eyes are wet as he lifts my face to look at him.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers. ‘I should have told you about Dannii. I didn’t want to cause trouble.’

I kiss him carefully, trying not to hurt his cut lip but savouring the warmth of his mouth on mine.

‘I should have trusted you.’ I say, and his eyes cloud over. He looks so hurt I feel like I’ve kicked a puppy.

‘I can’t believe you thought I would do something like that. I love you, Ash, you’re my girl.’

His words make me cry again. He kisses the tears from my eyes and then claims my mouth again and we fall on each other like we’re starving for touch, his cut mouth forgotten. His hands make fists in my hair and I moan into his mouth. Already he’s hard against me and I pull away laughing.

‘Down boy!’ I giggle, glad that for girls our arousal isn’t so blatant. Joe doesn’t look one bit abashed though, pulling me back to him and cupping the swell of my butt with his hands.

‘I’m crazy about you, Ash,’ he says seriously. ‘Promise me that you won’t run off like that again. If there’s a problem, talk to me.’

‘I will,’ I promise.

We’re pretty much alone now, all the spectators having
wandered off leaving just a few younger teenagers smoking by the swings. I reach up and touch his lip where it’s cut and swollen. It’s not as bad as it first looked.

‘You need to put something on it.’

‘I’ll wash it, it’ll be fine. Come back here.’ His hands trail over my butt, kneading and squeezing, his fingers brushing the inside of my thighs. He pulls me into him, and he’s still hard.

‘Come back home with me,’ he whispers, and in answer I take his hand and we start walking. We say very little on the way to his. There isn’t much to say.

We go up to his room still hand in hand, still in silence, and then he turns to me and takes off his torn shirt. I touch his lip again.

‘You should wash it.’

‘After,’ he says and reaches for me. He kisses my neck lightly and starts to tug my top out of my jeans. I help him, raising my arms so he can take it off and then unclipping my bra myself and tossing it to one side. He lifts my breasts carefully in his hands and rubs his thumbs over my nipples until they’re hard and tingling, then he pushes them together, lowers his head and flicks his tongue across both of them in turn.

‘That feels really good,’ I whisper, a total understatement. His mouth and hands turn my body into a hot core of need and I fumble at his zip, wrapping my hand around his erection as it springs free and being rewarded with a gasp of ‘God, Ash’. I run my thumb over the head of him, amazed at how it can be so hard yet the skin silky soft. I walk backwards towards the bed and he comes with me, pushing my bottoms down over my hips. As we reach the edge of the bed he kneels in front of me and pulls them down and off my feet, then he kisses a trail of butterflies up my thigh and across the hem of my knickers, slipping his
hand inside them as he stands up.

‘Condom?’ I ask. He groans and leans away to pull a fresh packet from his drawer. He must have bought them yesterday, knowing I was coming round. He rips one open and I reach for it.

‘Can I try?’ I ask and he hands it to me. It takes a couple of attempts but I get it on and sit back for a minute, admiring my handiwork. Joe laughs and pushes me back onto the bed.

It doesn’t hurt at all this time. I’m ready for him and he feels thick and snug inside me. He’s careful though, moving slowly and looking into my eyes the whole time.

‘I love you,’ he strokes my face and I turn my head and nip at his thumb.

‘Love you too,’ I say, and then he picks up his pace and I can’t talk at all.

Afterwards we get dressed, smiling at each other the whole time. I watch him as if I could drink him in with my eyes.

‘What shall we do tonight?’ he asks, and I grin, thinking that I know exactly what we can do. Then I have another idea.

‘Come to mine,’ I say, ‘for dinner.’

He looks surprised.

‘Really? Won’t your mum hate me after all this?’

I shake my head, thinking she’s more likely to say, ‘I told you so’.

‘Okay,’ he says, and his face splits into a dazzling smile. God, I love him.

Mum looks up as we walk in, looking surprised as she sees Joe but quickly plastering a smile onto her face.

‘Pleased to meet you Mrs Evans.’

He holds his hand out politely, giving her his most charming smile, and I see her melt.

It’s not all going to be easy, I know that. I still have to deal with Dannii, and get used to Matt, and work through my exhilarating yet terrifying feelings for Joe. But I also know I won’t be doing it alone.

We’re in this together, all the way.