Unconditional (14 page)

‘Jealous? Of you?’

She sounds mocking, but the more I think about it the more I’m sure I’m right. She’s so used to being the one that all the boys fancy, the one that has all the sexual escapades while I’m just there in the background, the reliable, quiet friend who’s never any threat. But now she’s been dumped, and I’m going out with the hottest boy we’ve ever seen.

I don’t voice my thoughts, I just sigh and curl my legs up underneath me. Everything and everyone around me is
changing too much, too fast. It’s like the ground shifting beneath my feet.

‘It’s just not like you,’ she says.

‘What you mean is, you want me to stay the same. You and Mum. You’re always teasing me about not having a boyfriend, being a prude, and now that I’ve met someone and I’m happy you don’t like it.’

‘You don’t look very happy,’ she points out. I lift my head defiantly.

‘Well, I am, and as my friend you should be pleased for me. Joe really loves me.’

Dannii gives that mocking little laugh again and it makes me want to slap her.

‘Is that what he told you to get you into bed? God, Ash, you’re so naive.’

‘He said it afterwards,’ I retort, trying to ignore the little slither of doubt that she’s planted in my mind. I know he meant it and I’m not going to let her ruin this for me.

‘Look,’ I say, trying to calm down. I don’t want to argue with her too. ‘I know you’re upset because of Dean and everything but I really need your support, Dan. Mum’s being horrid and this is the first real relationship I’ve had and I wanted to talk to you about it.’

I try to smile at her, wanting my best friend back, wanting to sit and giggle and gossip about my news in the way I thought we would, but the smile she gives me back looks tight and forced.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says, though she doesn’t sound it at all. ‘It’s just that it all seems so strange. Don’t take this the wrong way, babe, but well, everyone’s saying it.’

‘Saying what?’

‘Wondering what he sees in you. I mean, you’re so different from each other. Have you seen the pictures of his ex on Facebook? She’s all blonde and model looking.
People are saying he must be on the rebound, or he’s just using you. I just don’t want you to get hurt.’

She gives me what I think is supposed to be a sympathetic look, but I don’t miss the little flash of triumph in her eyes as I recoil, hurt, at her words. I know she’s just trying to upset me, after all the only people that could be talking about Joe and me are Dannii and her many hangers-on, and Joe thinks I’m beautiful, I know he does. Still, the image of his ex, blonde and beautiful, springs to my mind and I feel sick. The fact that that description also fits Dannii doesn’t escape me either. I gasp as I realise exactly what her problem is.

‘You’re just upset that he doesn’t fancy you, aren’t you? That’s what this is.’ I shake my head, feeling betrayed, but Dannii just smirks at me.

‘What makes you think he doesn’t?’ she looks straight at me, her eyes challenging, and my stomach turns over.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

I’m dreading what she’s about to say, but she drops her eyes and says, ‘Nothing. I’m just saying, that’s all.’ But I’m not convinced. Not at all.

‘Just go,’ I say flatly. ‘I can’t deal with this right now.’

Dannii widens her eyes, all hurt and protesting innocence. I’d feel guilty if I hadn’t seen her pull this look a thousand times before, usually on some guy she’s manipulating.

‘I’m just trying to be a friend, Ash, just being honest. You’re so infatuated with Joe, and I don’t want to see you being taken advantage of.’

‘He’s not Dean,’ I snap, and think and I’m not like you, but I don’t say it. It occurs to me that lately, there’s too much I’m not saying to people. Dannii looks like she’s about to get bitchy again.

‘Just stop,’ I say. ‘I don’t want to fight. I need to be alone
for a bit okay?’

She shrugs and picks up her bag.

‘Okay, well, you know where I am if you need me.’

I’m about to say thank you, wondering if she really is just looking out for me and I’m being a total cow, when she says breezily on the way out the door;

‘I was going to invite you to a party tonight but you’re grounded aren’t you? I think Dean and Joe are going. I’ll text you later.’

She shuts the door behind her with a smirk, knowing her barb has hit home. Now I’ll sit here all night, mulling over her comments about Joe and wondering if he’s at some party. I should just phone him and tell him what’s gone on, but I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I was so happy earlier and now everything feels ruined, and if Dannii does turn out to be right about Joe then I don’t want to know. I turn my phone off and bury my face in the pillow, wondering how everything can go so wrong so quickly.

The next morning I turn my phone on to three missed calls off Joe, one from Dannii, one from Rianne, one from my dad and two texts off Joe. The first one ‘love you beautiful’ makes my insides jump but the second has me sinking again, ‘Are you okay? Dannii said you had a massive row with your mum?’ which implies he was with Dannii last night, or at least spoke to her. I need to see him, hold him, and reassure myself that the other night wasn’t all a dream. That Mum and Dannii are wrong.

I dress quickly for my class this morning, throwing my hair up in a ponytail as I’m at work in the cafe this afternoon and head downstairs. I can hear Mum’s in her studio and I try to get out without having to speak to her but she comes into the hall just as I’m putting my pumps on. She looks like she’s been crying too.

We just stand there looking at each other before she holds her arms out and I run into them like a kid, burying my face in her shoulder. I’m as tall as her now, but she strokes my hair and shushes me like she used to when I was little and I’d fell over.

‘I’m sorry. I was horrible,’ I say. Mum wipes my eyes and smiles.

‘I was pretty horrible too. If you really love this boy, then perhaps it’s time I met him?’

My jaw drops.

‘Really? Oh, Mum, thank you.’

I throw my arms around her again and she hugs me back quickly this time before stepping away, her face serious again.

‘But tonight it’s about us okay? I want you back straight from school.’

‘College,’ I protest with a sigh. ‘And I’ve got work after.’

‘Well, whatever you call it, but come straight home after the cafe. I’m doing dinner. For the three of us.’

Great. That means Dad. But if I want them to accept Joe, I suppose I’m going to have to deal with it so I force a smile.

‘Okay. I’ll be back about six.’

I walk to the bus with a confusion of emotions whirring around inside me. I’m still upset about Dannii and her attitude and although I’m desperate to see Joe part of me is almost nervous too. Things have changed between us, and what if Danni’s right? What if he isn’t as keen now, whereas I’m madly in love? But then I think of his smile when he looked down at me and told me he loved me and try to push Dannii’s nasty words from my mind. She’s just jealous, I remind myself. I should probably feel a bit sorry for her.

Right on cue my phone rings. Joe. I take a deep breath and answer it, feeling a spread of warmth in my body at the sound of his voice. He sounds so sexy on the phone, all deep and mature.

‘Hey, babe. I was trying to get hold of you last night. What’s happened?’

I tell him about my row with Mum, editing the part where I made Joe sound like a candidate for Crimewatch. I don’t mention my row – if that’s really what it was – with Dannii.

‘The good news is, you’re invited round to meet her. If you want to,’ I add, wondering if he might think it a bit soon for the whole ‘meet my mother’ scenario. But he sounds really pleased.

‘I’d love to. I was beginning to think you were ashamed of me,’ he says lightly, but I’m glad he can’t see my face as his words make me blush. ‘What’s the bad news?’

‘Dinner with Mum and Dad tonight. ‘Just the three of us.’ Can’t wait,’ I say sarcastically.

‘Can you get out after?’

‘Hopefully. I’ve been dying to see you. So what did you do last night?’

‘I went round Dean’s, he had a few people there. I was calling you to see if you were coming. Dannii was there, she told me about the row with your mum.’

‘Is she back on with Dean then?’

I hope he says yes, then maybe she will stop being such a cow about Joe and me. I know Dannii, she gets bitchy when she’s upset.

‘Well, that’s what I thought earlier on in the evening, because they were kissing and stuff, but then they ended up screaming at each other and she went off home with this other guy that was there. Dean was raging, I had to stop him driving after them.’

I roll my eyes. This is typical Dannii drama, so hopefully things will go back to normal. At least she wasn’t throwing herself all over Joe.

But then I can’t help thinking, would he even tell me if she was?

I ring off, telling him I’ll try to get out later. He wishes me luck with the whole family dinner thing, and he sounds so genuine I feel bad for doubting him. He’s given me absolutely no reason to be anything but over the moon, but maybe that’s the problem. When something seems too good to be true, isn’t that usually because it is? Look at my parents, together for all those years, each other’s first love and then pow, gone. The fact that they’re rekindling things seems more like stupidity than true love to me.

Not surprisingly, classes drag and work drags even more. I’m dreading dinner, yet at the same time desperate to get it over and done with so I can go and see Joe.
Breakfast yesterday seems like an age away.

I’m so scatter brained at the cafe that I drop a whole tray of cutlery and give people the wrong orders twice. In the end Becky lets me go half an hour early, rolling her eyes at me.

‘You’re sure you don’t need help cleaning up?’ I ask gratefully as I hang up my apron. She shakes her head vehemently. ‘Absolutely not.’ She’s probably worried I’ll accidentally set fire to the place or something.

I text Mum to let her know I’m on my way home and set off, telling myself that I’m going to be pleasant and act pleased for them, but my stomach’s in knots. Will she let him move back in? They might think it’s what I want, for us all to be back together, when that couldn’t be more wrong.

There’s no sign of Dad’s car as I walk up our drive, and I’m quite glad I’m home first. I take a deep breath as I walk in the front door.

‘I’m home!’ I shout unnecessarily but determined to seem cheerful. Mum comes to greet me out of the kitchen.

She looks beautiful. Dressed in a simple white dress with her hair all curly around her shoulders and some grey stuff round her eyes that really brings out the colour, she looks like a film star. There’s a flush to her cheeks and a light in her eyes that has nothing to do with make-up. I sigh inwardly as she hugs me and leads me into the kitchen, plastering a big smile on my face to greet my dad with.

Except it’s not my dad that’s sitting at our kitchen table.

‘Ashley, this is Matt,’ Mum says, as excited as a puppy. I just stare, my mouth hanging open, totally confused.

‘Where’s Dad?’ Is she cheating on him?

Mum frowns, looking as perplexed as I feel.

‘Why would your dad be here? I mean, we’re on good
terms, but it’s not quite appropriate, Ash.’

The guy at the table has a frozen smile on his face as he looks back and forth between Mum and me, clearly unsure what to say. Then he gets up and offers me his hand.

‘Pleased to meet you sweetheart. Although I feel like I already know you, Keira talks about you that much.’

I take his hand, staring at it as if he’s got six fingers or something, and then sit down, wondering if I’ve entered some kind of weird alternate reality.

‘And I’m so sorry about the other day,’ he continues, ‘we weren’t expecting you back.’ He looks embarrassed.

And finally, I get it. It never was Dad.

My eyes sweep over Matt. He has a similar build to my father and the same dark wavy hair…it would have been an easy mistake to make just from glimpsing the back of his head. He’s better looking than Dad though and, I realise, younger. Late twenties to thirty maybe.

Wow. Go Mum
.

I feel weirdly proud of her.

Turns out they’ve met through work, the latest project of Mum’s; she’s illustrating his books. As I sit and watch them I see how well they get on, how they bounce off each other and how happy she is, and I can’t believe I ever thought it was Dad. Turns out her and Matt have been seeing each other for a while, but she wanted to make sure it was serious before she introduced us.

‘We don’t all like to rush things,’ she says, a twinkle in her eye, but I know she’s making a point about Joe and me and resist the temptation to stick my tongue out at her. Not a good look, especially if I want her to believe I’m having a mature, grown-up relationship.

Matt seems pretty cool though I can’t help feeling a bit wary, but it’s definitely, definitely better than the conclusions I’d jumped to. And if Mum’s happy, she’s more likely
to accept Joe.

She won’t accept everything though. I ask her if she minds if I leave them to it to go and see him and encouraged by her happy acceptance of that, I try to push it a bit.

‘I could stay over, I’ll give you his address? Then you and Matt can have some time on your own.’

Matt grins at me, obviously thinking that’s a great idea, but Mum’s face shuts down instantly, and she goes from happy loved-up young woman to stern parent in an instant, crossing her arms over her chest.

‘No. Absolutely not.’

Her tone brooks no argument whatsoever. I pout at her, but she shakes her head firmly.

‘No, Ash. At least, not until I’ve met him and got to know him myself. Back by twelve please.’

I sigh, but decide not to push it too far in case she tries grounding me again.

I quickly shower and change into a cute zebra print dress that Dannii gave me but I’ve never worn, trying to get my hair to curl and flow round my shoulders like Mum’s. It ends up looking more like I’ve been electrocuted, so I give up and put it in a messy bun with a few wispy curls around my face. Some eyeliner and lip-gloss and I’m done. I inspect myself in front of the full-length mirror in the hall and can’t help thinking I look pretty good. Okay I might not be blonde and busty and leggy like Dannii, but I think I look pretty hot. I can’t wait to see Joe.