Underwater (16 page)

“Yes, I think so.”

“Well, I gotta go. Go light up your world, kiddos.” He turned and walked out the door.

“That guy is one of a kind.”

I chuckled. “Tell me about it.”

“Aria?”

My body tensed, as I watched the motherfucker who’d touched her coming our way.

“Oh, hey Brian.”

His tall frame loomed over her while he stood with his hands inside his front pockets. He was built, and if I were a chick, I would probably think he looked decent. He had curly blond hair, blue eyes and tan skin. He looked like a freaking copy of a Ken-doll. Fucking cliché. I hated him already.

“We’re all going to have a drink at a nearby bar. You wanna come?”

I didn’t want her to go anywhere with him, but if she decided to go there was nothing I could do about it. All I could do was bite my tongue and pray she would say no.

“That’s sweet of you, Brian, but I can’t today. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, yeah… sure. Maybe some other time?”

He looked disappointed, yet hopeful she would say yes.

Did I mention I hated this fucker?

“Yeah, maybe,” she mumbled.

He smiled, nodded, and turned around, leaving with the rest of the group waiting for him.

“Fucker,” I said under my breath.

“What?”

Shit.
“Um... nothing.”

She looked at me with questioning eyes. ”What’s going on?”

I sighed. “Don’t date him.” The words tumbled out of my mouth without permission. I winced, knowing I sounded like a fucking mental case.

“Whoa... who said I was going to date him? He was just being friendly.”

I laughed humorlessly. “That guy doesn’t have one friendly thought about you. I can promise you that.”

I didn’t have friendly thoughts about her either. But right now, the thought of her with him – or anyone else for that matter – made my blood boil.

She shook her head. “You’re overreacting, but alright, I won’t date him. Geez… happy?”

“No,” I growled.

“What?” She sounded annoyed.

I didn’t care. I was on a roll. My hands settled on either side of her chair, caging her in. “I don’t want you to date anyone else.”

“Excuse me?”

Fuck. This was not going well.

“I need you to promise me that you won’t date someone else. I said I would be your friend, and I will. But you need to know…” My head inched closer until I was in her face. “I want more. I want
you
. I promise I’ll wait for you until you’re ready for me. But please…” I pleaded. I fucking begged, “Don’t date other people. I couldn’t bear it.”

Her eyes watched me with apprehension. She was quiet for so long, I was sure I messed up all over again. But no matter what, I wouldn’t cave. I would fight for her with every fiber of my being until she realized she belonged with me.

“I’m surprised you even think I would do that,” she whispered. “Date someone else? I can’t even look at anyone else.”

Fuck. I released a sigh of relief.
 
”You’re... okay with that?”

“Yes. I told you that I couldn’t date you for a reason. Why would I date someone else?”

“I don’t know.” I’m an insecure bastard, that’s one reason. “Maybe you can’t see me that way?”
Maybe she didn’t want to date a mental case?

“I can definitely see you that way, Dorian,” she said, effectively ending my pity party. Her emerald eyes flared with longing.
 
“I just...” She closed her eyes and after a few seconds she opened them and looked at me. I could see a new acceptance reflected in their depths. “Can we take this slow?”

Waves of relief washed away my anxiety. I nodded, unable to suppress the smile that crept across my lips.

“What about you?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Would you wait, too?”

Would I wait?

I shook my head and laughed. She really had no idea how deeply my feelings ran for her. “I haven’t been with nor touched a woman for more than a decade. I think I can manage.”

Her eyes bugged out. “You’re fucking with me.”

I laughed harder.
God, this girl
.
“I’m not fucking with you, although, now I can’t stop imagining it.”

Both cheeks turned a fire-engine red. I winked. “Shut up. I’m just surprised, that’s all. How come?”

I had no idea where to even start. I opened my mouth and then snapped it closed.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. When you feel like it,
if
you feel like it, you can always tell me.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure.”

We grew quiet for a minute or two.

“Do you think we can do it? That it’s that simple?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

She blew out the two candles. “Make a difference in someone’s life? You think we can?”

I intertwined our fingers together. “Well, you’ve already made a difference in
my
life.”

A grin tugged at the corner of her lips as she squeezed my hand. ”Thank you,” she whispered. “I needed to hear that.”

“You know you can always count on me, right?” She nodded, and I couldn’t help myself, I cupped her cheek with my free hand, brushing the pad of my thumb up and down her silky skin. ”I know we only just met, but it feels like I’ve known you forever. I will always be here for you.”

I promise
.

She covered the hand that held her cheek. “Thank you, Dorian. I’m here for you, too.”

She understood me. She accepted me. She hadn’t let those rumors and stories affect the way she looked at me. And most importantly, I was able to touch her freely.

“Do you have plans for tonight?” I asked.

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Do you want to spend some time with me? It’s my night off and I’m not ready to say goodnight to you yet.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“We can go eat, or drink or...” I paused and rubbed the back of my neck. I had no idea what we could do. I felt a little rusty.

“I’d actually prefer someplace quiet. I’m not in the mood to be around people right now.”

“We can go to my apartment. I can make us something warm to drink.”

“Umm...”

“Or we could stay here? I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. It was just an idea. I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear.” And now I was babbling. Great.

She stood. ”You know what? Let’s go. It’s freaking cold in here and I really hope you can make me something warm to drink.”

I found myself grinning. ”I make one hell of a hot chocolate.”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

“Follow me home?”

“Lead the way.”

“I am yours.

Don’t give myself back to me.”

—
Rumi

I
pulled my car next to Dorian’s and turned off the engine. I couldn’t believe I’d actually come here. I was scared shitless to let someone in, especially now when all my attention needed to focus on one thing: my dad. Shaking my thoughts loose, I grabbed my purse, exited the car, and made my way over to where Dorian was waiting for me.

Stormy clouds drifted across the sky, hiding the moon and darkening the neighborhood. Dorian stood at the base of a street lamp where it illuminated his features, softening the rugged angles of his face. He was attractive in a rough-around-the-edges kind of way, but now – as I let myself really look at him – I thought he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

He left me breathless.

“We should go up,” he said. “It’s getting cold.”

He took my hand and led me in the direction of his home.
God, his home
. The place where he lived. I was going to see where he slept, ate, and took showers.

Shut up… Don’t think about showers.

We took the stairs two floors up until we reached a wood door. After unlocking it, he waited for me to go in before him. As I passed the threshold, he said in an awful British accent, “Welcome to my humble abode.”

I looked back at him and grinned. I found myself loving playful Dorian. “Why thank you.”

When he turned on the lights, I sucked in a breath. I was here, and there was no turning back. I gave myself a moment to focus on the apartment. Floor to ceiling windows consumed the entire back wall. The living area was an open concept, providing a perfect view of the whole space. Dorian’s apartment was nothing I had expected. A Victorian chandelier with a modern twist hung from the ceiling over a rustic dining room table. And even though the space was open, it had a cozy feel. The warm tones of dark blues and light creams contrasted together beautifully to make the room feel inviting.

And beautiful.

“So, what do you think?” he asked hesitantly.

I eyed him as he looked everywhere but at me.

“I really like it.” Then I added, “I like it so much I’m afraid I might never leave.”

His eyes landed on mine in a flash and a smile spread across his full lips. “I’d love that,” he whispered.

He took a step forward and I took a step back. I knew that if he caught me, it would be the end of our
friendship
. I would cave. I would fall into his strong arms and never let go. I wasn’t ready for him.

He approached me, his pace steady and his steps sure. His eyes were fixed on mine, making it hard for me to breathe.

When I felt my back hit the wall behind me, I knew there was nowhere for me to go. I drew in a sharp breath.

Game over
.

Waves of heat washed over me when he placed his hands on the wall beside my head. My tumultuous heart threatened to break out of my chest.

“Did you mean that?” he asked, his deep voice in my ear, rattling my thoughts.

My eyes fluttered closed. “M-mean what?”

“The song. Did you really mean that?”

His finger touched my chin and lifted my head. “Open your eyes.”

I shook my head. I wouldn’t be able to control what he would see reflected in them. And I had a feeling my eyes would tell him everything my mouth was afraid to say out loud.

That I was afraid.

That the world kept beating me down and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

That I didn’t know how to help my family.

That I wanted him. Wanted to be with him.

“Open your eyes, sweetheart.”

I gritted my teeth, refusing to give in.

Heart beats and erratic breaths were the only sounds in the room. Then I heard him mumble, “Fuck it,” and without warning, Dorian’s lips crashed against mine. My eyes flew open and then they fluttered closed again when my hands found their place on his chest. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to push him away or pull him closer. He kissed me deeply and with purpose, like he had been starving for it. Then his touch became gentle. The pad of his finger ran along my cheek, and then I felt the brush of his lips against mine as the kiss softened, caressing them lightly. When he bit my bottom lip, I gasped. He soothed the stinging pain with his tongue, slowly grazing it until it found its way back into my open mouth. His hand traveled to my thigh, lifting it up and wrapped it around his waist. He pulled me closer, until I was glued to his hard body. With my other leg, I had to stand on my tiptoes, because he was so damn tall. I could feel his hardness on my stomach.

He was hard for me.

My mind awoke from its daze, and I began to realize what was happening. Even though I loved the feel of his lips on mine, I was mad.
How could he do that?
How could he kiss me without my permission, after he said he would only be my friend? After he promised me we would take it slow.

Suddenly, I was furious.

I shoved him but he was a brick wall. He didn’t feel my pathetic attempts to push him away, so I pushed him harder and punched him across the chest. He brought my thigh down, grabbed my hands and pinned them to the wall above my head. He was like a man possessed. It felt like nothing in this world would make him stop kissing me.

Not even me
.

An internal battle took place inside my head. I wanted to kick his ass, to punch him in the face for taking what he wanted without asking. For making me give in, for surrendering myself to the emotions that overwhelmed me. But even more than that, I wanted to cling to him as my heart stepped up its pace while his tongue circled around mine.