Undone (11 page)

The dream always began the same—with calloused hands and fingers traipsing the contours of her flesh, marching like fire ants across her skin, soldiering on down to her most intimate spot. Her body bowed to the faceless lover, attuned to the sensual thrill of every caress, needing more, anticipating what she could only imagine and yet her mind battled for it all to stop. Sophie wanted, craved, and yet couldn't allow herself to take what was offered. She bit down on her bottom lip, attempting to stifle the breathy sounds she wasn't aware she was capable of making. She slammed her eyes shut, fear and anticipation wreaked havoc on her senses.

Furtively
, Sophie settled hands on the broad shoulders of her shadowed lover, uncertain of her own emotions, faltering on exactly what it was she was supposed to do—whether to pull the powerful body down onto herself or push him away. And when she believed she'd come to a decision, those calloused hands morphed into something ugly and vile. No longer gentle, no longer tender, the caresses that ensued were terribly wrong.

Sophie felt the cold from the center of her being, glacial veins of
ice stretching out, reaching for cells and tissues, chilling the very blood in her veins. Fear gripped her. It took her by the nape of her neck and sent her reeling. That very same fear immobilized her limbs. Struggling to be free of those shadowed hands become a fight in mind only, wanting to escape, needing to escape, were voiceless wishes fluttering in the caverns of her mind.

"
Soph-ie…," the voice called, wheedling, mocking. She knew she was dreaming. Knew that what happened here was no more real than her wants and wishes, but knowing something was entirely different than feeling it. This was fantasy. Residues of her stressful life bleeding into her subconscious, so why then did it feel so real? Why was she incapable of throwing off the invisible shackles that bound her?

"
Soph-ie…" The call invaded every crevice of her mind, echoing off the darkened walls of her self-imposed prison. Sophie prayed that it would end now, end before she was forced to see the face that haunted her so mercilessly.

“SOPHIE!”
It was forceful now, demanding her attention. Panic and fear melded so perfectly that Sophie could not decipher one from the other. She knew it was coming, knew who she would see if she dared to open to her eyes.

It was at exactly this time that escape became an exigency. But, despite her best efforts, with flailing limbs and booming heart, she could not rouse herself from this hell. It was inevitable. The fact that she always saw fit to fight against it was simply foolish on her part. This was a dream, true, where one could believe that she was entirely in control of everything, but that wasn't so.

"Open your eyes, Sophie." The whispered words were as hot as flames against the shell of her ear, the voice frighteningly malevolent. She did not want to open her eyes, but the power to do otherwise had been taken from her. So she did as the voice beckoned and slowly peeled her eyes open.

Her heart lurched, seemingly just as anxious to escape the sight of that face as Sophie was. He appeared the same, always the same from when Sophie had last seen him. The cruel twist of his thinning lips was nothing compared to the malevolent glint in
his dark eyes. Those eyes reflected nothing. Stygian darkness. A void of hate, cruelty and evil.

Talon-like fingers formed grooved half-moons right where they held her, marring, bruising the tender skin of her arms. "
Soph-ie, sweet, sweet, Soph-ie.” The taste of fear was bitter, acrid. It skimmed along the back of her throat, the texture a combination of dirt and slime. The taste…the taste was indescribable—bitter yes, but delving deeper, the complexity behind it was pure evil. Sophie felt as if she would drown from it, drown in it.

"P
-please.” Her imploration was nothing more than a gurgle. Words were a jumbled feast of white noise and cotton.

"Sophie." It was sheer agony looking into that face and when that
evil smile split that face, Sophie felt her innards twist painfully. Movement, sheer movement alone, required energy that she did not have; attempting to swat at the shadowed, skeletal hands sluggishly aiming for her throat was futile. "Hello, sweetheart."

Sophie awoke with a voiceless scream. She sat up, rolled over and turned on the lamp on her bedside table. A soft golden glow illuminated the room, gentle enough that Sophie’s eyes immediately adjusted. Reaching over for the half emptied glass of water
, she brought it to her acrid mouth and guzzled the rest down in three long pulls. She set the glass back down on the bedside table while raking shaky fingers through her sweat matted hair. The buildup of sweat beading her skin elicited a shiver from her as she settled against the cool headboard.

With the nightmare still very fresh on her mind
, Sophie refused to close her gritty eyes, loathed to see the face of the man who refused to leave her be. She opted instead to stare at the wall before her. The posters of indie rock bands and sport idols from her early teenage years were a perfect distraction, but regardless of her best efforts, the vestiges of the dream lingered like a bad after taste. She sighed heavily, wondering how much more of this she could take before she lost it completely.

She’s had these nightmares for nearly a month now and sadly it didn't seem as though it was getting any closer in leaving her subconscious
. If anything, they seemed to be getting worse, slowly preying on memories she'd long thought buried.

Sophie didn't want to admit the reason behind the nightmares only because she'd be forced to think of Andrew and his betrayal. She couldn't afford to think about him. Not now
, not when she'd spent so much time and effort erecting emotional walls over the last few weeks. Just one single thought and it would all come crashing down around her and Sophie couldn't have that. It wouldn't be like her to break down. There were things expected of her, things she expected of herself that wouldn't allow her to go back home and seek comfort from her mother. Even if that was what her entire being yearned for.

She’d adopted a cheery disposition. A façade that said to the world that she was
OK, that regardless of what may have happened, she would make it through. She’d gotten so good in convincing her family that she was alright, that she nearly believed it herself. But when the sun went down and the lights went off and she was left with nothing but her mind for company, her demons emerged to taunt her mercilessly.

Their hushed voices declared her the
unwanted one, the mistake, the child of a felon, the unlovable,
and so on and so on. It was a merciless mantra. Sometimes the words would change, sometimes they weren't as harsh but always the sentiments behind them, the chilling, impersonal, mocking echo of her mind remained the same.

They'd been quite merciless when she'd been younger
. After the kidnapping, it'd been practically all she'd heard. As she grew older, Sophie learned to control the deafening roar to silent whispers and when she was feeling particularly brave she would even tell them to shut up. Now…now she couldn't even muster an iota of bravado. She hated feeling this way.

She could feel the depression setting in again. Like lead seeping into bone tissue to weigh her down with the gravity of her droning thoughts. She hated it. Hated it so much that she could scream. She wanted to snap out of it, wanted so badly to make
the lethargy and pain disappear. But how could she when every second felt like she was drowning deeper and deeper in a mire of misery and angst?

She needed to get out. If she remained a second longer in her bedroom, she feared the four walls would compress her into an early grave. It was nearing midnight. Sophie figured if she went downtown right now she could possibly find a distraction in one of the countless clubs that bled into the Southside of the city.

Getting ready took all of twenty minutes and when she was through Sophie felt somewhat human again, the shower having done wonders in warming up the internal frost that had been eating away at her.

Standing in front of the full-length mirror in her closet, she took inventory of herself and found that she didn't look as reprehensible as she'd initially believed. Her outfit wasn't anything special
—just a pair of distressed blue skinny jeans, a fitted blue-black plaid shirt and a light leather jacket she'd purchased last December during winter break. Shoving her socked feet into a pair of Steve Madden buckle boots, Sophie grabbed her keys from her cluttered desk, splashed on some perfume and tamed her wavy mane into some semblance of order before walking out of her bedroom.

As luck would have it, her parents weren't downstairs in the living room as Sophie expected they'd be which made sneaking out of the house a whole lot easier.

The day after the Andrew incident, Nicholas had pulled out all the stops in seeing to the family's safety. The cameras that Sophie had become practically a pro at dodging were part of those precautions, the security codes; however, were a little more difficult to bypass. She barely managed to make it to the garage without tripping the alarms.

The garage was vast, located just below the kitchen
, it housed mainly the cars they used on a daily basis. The garage attached to the guesthouse on the east side of the estate was where her father kept all his imports and luxury sedans. That garage and anything within it was strictly off limits to them. This was just fine with Sophie because she wasn't going for style. She needed a car that would get her there and back and considering that her Lexus was in the other garage, she settled for her mom’s Accord. Nondescript, simple, exactly what Sophie needed. Having had the key from the last time she'd driven it, Sophie opened the car door and hopped in.

~*~*~*~

By the time she arrived downtown
, a soft blanket of snow had covered the ground. Having started earlier in the night, it didn't appear as though it would stop anytime soon. The meteorologist had warned of a potential blizzard heading their way, set to hit in a few hours, but the college crowd was not deterred. A Friday night was still a Friday night, regardless of the inclement weather.

The Strip, as it was known to the masses, was miles, upon miles of blacktop that ran from north to south
; beginning in swanky, verdant suburbia and ending in the grittiness of the city's Southside. The Strip was home to countless shops, apartments, restaurants, bars and nightclubs. One such club was Dust, located smack-dab in the middle of two fetish clubs it did its fair share of attracting an interesting crowd of people. It was small, intimate and notably known for their scantily clad girls and intoxicatingly dark ambiance. Dust always guaranteed a good time, something Sophie was in dire need of.

Having parked her car in the twenty dollar garage three blocks away from the club, Sophie trooped down the bustling cobbled street, dodging gaggles of inebriated college guys who teasingly catcalled as she walked past them. She huddled deeper into the leather coat, shoving her gloved hands into the pockets. Gusty winds swirled virgin snow every which way and Sophie thought it pretty
, the way the orange tint of the streetlights caught every other snowflake and made it gleam. She would've stopped to stare had the night not been so numbingly cold.

The line outside of
Dust queued all the way down to Kitson Bar & Grill. Dreading the thought of waiting in that line, Sophie stopped short and surveyed the bouncers loitering at the entrance. There was a total of three and they were huge, wrestler huge, with enough muscles between the three to shame any bodybuilder. Two of them, Sophie could honestly say, were somewhat attractive, the third could possibly join in the ranks after a few drinks and a whole lot of dancing.

Sophie had seen them a few times in her frequent visits to
Dust and had even formed a sort of friendship with one of them. As luck would have it, Roman, one of the two passably hot bouncers manning the front entrance, saw her over the crowd and trudged a path towards her. Thankfully for Sophie, Roman had a thing for her, which she found no qualms in taking full advantage of considering she wasn't even allowed in Dust in the first place. She wasn't legal. Which in all cases would've proved a problem, but she had Roman. Tit for tat. Roman let her in the club and Sophie allowed him a cheap feel or two on the dance floor. Everyone was happy.

"Hey
, gorgeous. Didn't think I'd see you here tonight." He cleared the red velvet rope, allowing Sophie to pass the griping crowd. "Shut the fuck up or none of you are getting in here!" he hollered. The crowd settled, but only slightly. Sophie could still hear their grumbling protests.

She readily accepted the hug
. "Needed a little fun." Roman released her from the embrace but kept a sturdy arm around Sophie’s waist, keeping her firmly at his side. "Busy night?"

"Can't complain. Although it's a lot better now that you're here." He lowered his head
and whispered, “You look good enough to eat.”

"Trust me
, Roman, I'm all bones and not enough meat. I wouldn't satisfy a big guy like you."

"Who needs meat, when one can have dessert?"
He nuzzled Sophie’s cheek. "I've always been a raging whore for caramel."

Sophie chuckled. "Tell you what, how about I save you a dance?"

"Guess I have to settle for dry-humping you then."