Unplugged (35 page)

“
I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this in the street,” says Liam to Craig in a cold voice.

“
Fine, we’ll talk,” says Craig stiffly.

The open-plan apartment is clean apart from Ella
’s clothes strewn across the tiled floor. I spy new toys in a corner, and a colouring book with marker pens are scattered across the table next to half-empty packets of biscuits. I sit on the grey sofa, and Ella climbs onto my lap. She grew up with tension between me and her dad and is well aware the atmosphere is about to descend into unpleasantness.

I hug Ella, burying my face in her shoulder fighting the tears; I won
’t let Craig see me crying anymore. The aching gap in my soul is filled again by Ella’s presence; but as I glance at Liam who leans against the kitchen counter, I realise another part of my soul is severed. He won’t look at me.

“
We’ve come to take Ella home,” I say, pissed off when my voice wavers.

“
And we’re staying here.” Craig stands in front of the door.

“
Why? What’s the point? You don’t have anything or anyone in Italy!”

“
I’m not talking to you about my plans.”

“
If you don’t let Ella come home, I’m calling the police.”

Craig scoffs.
“Do what you want.”

“
But I want to go home, Daddy,” says Ella in a small voice.

“
Don’t you want to live by the sea?” he asks gently.

Her eyes shine with tears and Craig
’s selfishness rips at my heart. “She wants to go home,” I tell him.

“
What’s the difference?” he snaps.

“
Difference to what?”

“
When you and him”— he indicates Liam with his head— “take her away from me. When you go and live in some fancy house in America with your rich boyfriend, how’s that different?”

“
Well, for a start, if that ever happened, and it is an ‘if’, then I’ll tell you! And I won’t hide or stop you talking to her. Do you understand what you’ve put me through?” My chest constricts with each word, breath coming in shorter bursts. “I thought I’d lost her! Anything could’ve happened!”

“
She was with me! Her dad!” yells Craig.

Ella buries her head into my chest, covering her ears as our voices raise.
“Ella, why don’t you show Liam where your bag is, and we can pack?”

“
No, you don’t!” Craig moves toward me and Ella, but Liam steps in the way. I can’t see the expression on Liam’s face, but it’s enough to make Craig back off.

“
Ella?” Liam asks.

“
Daddy says you’re not very nice, but I think you are because you make Mummy happy,” she replies.

I choke back the tears I promised I
’d hide, aware how this is hurting Liam further. “You know Liam is a nice man.”

“
Yeah, because he took her to fucking Disneyland!” snarls Craig.

“
No! Jesus, Craig, do you think Ella only likes Liam because of what he can buy her?”

Liam quietly persuades Ella to climb off my lap. We exchange a look and I nod to indicate I
’m okay to talk. I don’t want Ella in the room.

“
This was the whole point of mediation. Why the hell did you do this?” I hiss as soon as the door clicks closed.

“
Because you were taking her from me!”

“
I was not! You got to see her more than you deserved; we were sorting this out properly.” I scrub an annoying tear escaping down my cheek. “Now I don’t think I’ll ever trust you with Ella!”

Craig buries his hands into the pocket of his
green board shorts and stares at his shoes.

Rising, I approach Craig.
“I want to take her home. Please.”

“
No.”

I make an exasperated noise.
“Craig, Liam has lawyers on this; please do this willingly or things will get out of control.”

“Don’t make me run further then.”

The air is punched from my lungs as easily as if he
’d slugged me himself. “No. You wouldn’t...”

“
She’s mine,” he growls. “My daughter.”

Stepping back, I rake my hands into my hair.
“She’s not a possession. She doesn’t belong to you!”

“
You’re not taking her!” he shouts.

My brave anger retreats by the minute
. When Craig decides to do something, he will, and I have no doubt he intends to follow through.

“
She wants to go home! You can’t keep her here!”

“
Call the fucking police! I don’t care; we’ll go before they get here.”

“
Craig, please!”

I
’m in hell. I came to Italy to find my daughter, to reason with this man and failed. Did I expect him to hand her over? Be contrite? Craig doesn’t care about anyone else. Everything I’ve held in today breaks through the levy and I stumble to the sofa, gripping the arm as bile stings my throat.

“You’re a shit mother anyway.”

Before I comprehend what
’s happening, Liam is in the room with us. He seizes Craig around the throat and slams him against the wall, and I wince at the sound of Craig’s head hitting the plaster.

“
Don’t talk to Cerys like that or I’ll make sure you can’t walk out of this fucking room!” yells Liam, his nose almost touching Craig’s.

“
Get the fuck off me!”

“
We’re taking Ella. Where’s her passport?”

Craig pulls at Liam
’s fingers but Liam presses him harder into the wall. “Give me her fucking passport!”

“
I can’t do anything with your hands around my fucking throat!” gasps Craig.

Liam loosens his grip and steps back, blocking Craig
’s way out of the corner.

“
Who the fuck do you think you are?” says Craig, rubbing his neck.

“
Someone who cares more about Ella than you do.”

“
Bullshit! I love my daughter.
My
daughter.”

Craig stumbles back as Liam
moves toward him again. “What? So this is love, what you did? Taking her from her mother and not letting Ella speak to her? Is that what a loving parent does? You’re the one talking bullshit.”

I ready myself to intervene. This Liam scares me, the anger coming off him in waves. I know Liam
’s hidden intentions toward Craig and his refusal to cooperate with Liam isn’t helping. The longer this goes on the more worried I am that Liam’s going to hurt Craig badly.

“
I’m protecting her,” says Craig over Liam’s shoulder to me. “He’ll hurt you, both of you. Look at him! He can’t control himself.”

“
Oh, you have no fucking idea, mate,” says Liam, loosening his grip slightly.

“
Liam wouldn’t hurt us!” I retort.

Despite dropping his physical grip on Craig, Liam
’s face remains close. “I will never hurt Ella or Cerys. The day I met your daughter, I met a lost little girl, unhappy because her dad had kicked her out at Christmas. So you’re not exactly father of the year, are you?”

“
And you are? Once you’ve had your fun and you go back to your rich and famous lifestyle and dump her,” says Craig, pushing Liam away.

“
That’s not it. You’re worried about the opposite. You think Liam will replace you. You said that you were worried we’d move away!” I retort.

Craig snorts.
“Jesus, Cerys, I’m not as delusional as you. Don’t you see? This would never work. Sure, you might move away and be with him a while, but he’ll drop you like a hot brick when he realises you’re not worth the hassle. I’m trying to protect her from that.”

His words
are rewarded with a shove in his chest as Liam smacks him against the wall again. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“
Oh, right? So you’re going to marry an average, single woman with a kid and live happily ever after in your Hollywood mansion?” says Craig with a laugh.

“
Yeah, actually, I will. I’ll marry Cerys so she’ll never be hurt by dickheads like you again. I’ll take care of Ella and teach her respect and love, not about what money can buy.” Liam’s hands bite into Craig’s shoulders “I’ll be in Ella’s life but on her terms. She won’t belong to me and neither will Cerys. Nobody owns another person and nobody buys love and affection. Believe me, I fucking know.”

My head spins further at his inflammatory words. Why is he telling Craig we
’re getting married? “Liam, please.”

“
Let me put this simply. You give us Ella’s passport and we take her home or my lawyers will stitch you up so badly you’ll never see your daughter again,” Liam says in a low voice.

“
You can’t do that!”

“
Try me.”

The quiet of the street outside returns as we wait for the next move in this crazy cat and mouse game. Craig side steps Liam who moves to stop him approaching the room Ella is in.

“I’m doing what you’ve asked,” mutters Craig.

Liam watches Craig warily as he rummages through a black rucksack in the kitchen then turns to say something to me. Taking advantage of his distraction, Craig launches himself at Liam.

“Fuck you!” yells Craig

Liam ducks the punch that follows and hesitates for a second before striking out
at Craig, fist colliding with his face. Craig steadies himself on the table, and wipes a hand across his nose, smearing blood onto his cheek.

“
I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt you even though it’s all I’ve pictured doing for the last two weeks. No, for the last two months. Thanks for the excuse,” Liam says, moving toward him again.

“
Liam!” I grab his arm and rub his tense muscles. “Stop! You can’t do this.”

Liam shrugs my arm off and grabs Craig by the shirt.

“Assault charge would be perfect for me,” says Craig, with a taunting grin. “Keep going.”

Liam doesn
’t need asking twice and Craig is rewarded with another smack in the face. Craig attempts to tackle Liam to the floor and fails, Liam shoves him and Craig lands on his back.

I
’m too shocked to talk; the surreality of the situation grows by the minute. I have to stay in control a while longer, for Ella.

Ella.

Trembling, I turn to the doorway and she’s there, clutching her familiar, raggy blanket to her face, big brown eyes wider than usual as she watches Craig and Liam.

“
Liam! Stop!” I shout.

I hate Craig more now than at any point since I met him. Ella will always remember this: her own fear, the anger
, and upset in the room and the uncertainty about her future. When I walk out of the door with Ella, whatever we leave behind, something else will come with us. In two short weeks, Craig has broken part of Ella’s childhood by subjecting her to this and the memories will stay with her forever.

I bundle Ella into the bedroom, away from the two men and close the door. I pray Liam sees sense and doesn
’t pummel Craig but the shouting continues. Ella’s half-packed bag rests on the bed but I can’t finish packing right now. I pull her to me and curl up on the bed, wishing I could protect her from everything going on around us. She snuggles into me and to my relief she doesn’t cry.

“
Will Liam take us home?” she asks in a small voice.

I stroke her tangled hair.
“I think Liam will do anything for us.”

Liam spent two weeks suffering through this alongside me, and I finally understand it wasn
’t only because of me. He genuinely cares about Ella, has done ever since they connected at Christmas. Liam is as big a part of Ella’s life as he is mine; he loves Ella in a selfless, protective way as if she were his daughter. By denying this, I said the worst thing I possibly could in the car outside.

CHAPTER
35

LIAM

An exhausted Cerys sleeps with Ella in her arms upstairs and I sit in the lounge room of our Cardiff house considering where we go from here. Following the hysteria of our meeting with Craig, we
travelled back to Rome and out of the country before he made another move. Finally home in the early hours, a spaced out Cerys took Ella to bed and lay down with her. We’ve barely spoken. Cerys’s full attention has been on her daughter from the moment we left Craig in the apartment, as if she dropped her concentration for a second Ella might disappear.

I don
’t know if it was the threat of more violence or my lawyers that caused Craig to back off, probably a little of both. He’s threatened to go to the police over the mess I made of his face, but he’s fucking lucky I stopped at a couple of punches. Only by holding Ella in my mind and knowing she’d hate me for hurting her dad, could I stop myself pummelling the bastard into unconsciousness.