Unplugged (32 page)

“
Good.” Ella puts her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes. “You made Mummy cry.”

Oh, what?
“Ella, bed, now!” I chase her upstairs and tuck the sleepy child into bed.

Liam is still in the hallway when I get downstairs
, and the minute my foot leaves the bottom step, he sweeps me into his arms, surprising me with a hard kiss. The amount my body has craved being with him will take over and we won’t get anything discussed if I return his desire. I wriggle from Liam’s embrace and head into the kitchen.

This is awkward, now he’s here I feel embarrassed about the things I accused him of.
“I’ve missed you. I’m sorry I told you to leave us alone.”

Liam
takes his jacket off and hangs it over the back of the sofa before following me into the kitchen. “I shouldn’t have walked away without sorting this out, Cerys, but you pissed me off.”

I look up into the eyes of the man who changed my world.
“And I shouldn’t have said those things; it was my insecurities talking.”

“
I can see why you think what you do, but I’m not trying to fix you. You’re doing a pretty good job of that yourself.” Liam touches my face with soft fingers, reconnecting us. “All I’m doing is helping out the amazing woman who’s let me into her life.”

I take his hand from my cheek and squeeze his fingers relieved to be holding his hand. After what I said Liam could’ve given up
. If he needed a get out I gave him one, but he’s here.

“Liam, everything in my life is up in the air; I’m scared of relying on someone else again, and so quickly. It’s only two months since you came back. Can you understand why that freaks me out?”

He shakes his head in the despairing way I recognise, and I know when he does that he wants to shake sense into me.

“Cerys.” He pulls his hand from mine and cups my chin. “The fact we’re here so quickly says something, doesn’t it? Remember what I said about feeling as if I was home when I kissed you? I think home is wherever I am with you, because suddenly, I can see why it never worked with anyone else. I was always in the wrong place, with the wrong person.”

How can I doubt Liam? The sincerity with every words he’s ever spoken to me is unmistakable and I did the wrong thing denying this. I tiptoe to reach his mouth and place my lips on his.
“You don’t need to try and make me love you by doing things for me. I’d love you if you were still the dodgy, grungy guy from St Davids. Be him, because he’s the person fate pulled me back to.”

Liam
studies me curiously. “He’s here; you do know that, right?”

“
I do, dodgy guy.”

Grabbing my face in both hands, Liam kisses me hard on the forehead.
“You infuriate me sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“A lot.”

Standing in the cramped kitchen I’m reminded of the day he came back to me; the rock star appearing at a five-year-
old’s birthday party to fulfil a promise. He didn’t come back to fix a single mum’s situation, he came back to see Cerys. The intense attraction I have to this man who’s an unreal mix of gentle and passionate is undeniable. In the short time that’s passed since he returned my life has transformed.

“I love you,” I say quietly.

Liam doesn’t need to say the words because the silent communication between our hearts speaks for us. When his mouth touches mine, I sigh into the kiss annoyed with myself for almost screwing up the best thing in my life since Ella. Liam holds me in a warmth and comfort I’ve never had before and could never imagine coming from anybody else.

Wrapped together I understand what he mean
s about coming home; anywhere I am with Liam is where I should be. If we’d had this short conversation days ago the tears and worry would’ve been avoided. Why did I push so hard against something so right?

We order an Indian takeaway, back to doing weirdly
, ordinary things in our weirdly, unordinary life. The rock star and the single mum sharing curry in front of the TV. Liam loves these moments. He’s told me he’d swap a glitzy awards show or celebrity party for a night in with me any day and I believe him. The tensions between us have ebbed as quickly as it flooded in the other day, but one topic remains.

As I clear up Ella
’s mess in the lounge room, Liam watches. “Heard any more from your ex?”

“
We had an argument last time he brought Ella home from their last day out.” I grab a handful of Lego and shove it into the box. “He’s demanding I let her stay over with him, but I’m not ready to do that yet. When we were together and Craig went out, he often stayed over at a mates if he was too drunk to get home. I’m scared he won’t be there if she wakes in the night.”

“
He wouldn’t go out and leave her though, surely.”

I focus on tidying the toys.
“I don’t know. Probably not, but I’m not ready to let her go…”

Liam kneels next to me and touches my arm.
“I’m sure this will get sorted. Think about what he did at Christmas. The court will be on your side and he’ll wish he went to bloody mediation instead.”

“
I don’t want to talk or think about him, Liam.”

“
Okay.”

I sit back on my heels and touch Liam
’s leg. “Why would I want to think about him? Screw Craig and his custody issues; you’re part of my life and there’s nothing about you that makes you bad for my daughter.”

“
I’m glad to hear it,” he says and helps throw some Lego in the box. “Can we make up properly now?”

I pull an exasperated face at him.

“What?” Liam fakes an innocent expression. “You said you didn’t want to think about him.” I tug him by the t-shirt toward me. “Then I guess Ella will get to see you in the morning.”

CHAPTER
31

CERYS

Ella appears with a towel and her swimming costume in her arms.
“Where’s Daddy taking you?” I ask.

“
He said we’d go to the beach today.”

“
Lucky you,” I say and help her push the blue towel and bright pink costume into her bag.

“
He said I’d need something for the car because it’s a long way to the beach.”

I know how much Ella whines when we take a
ten-minute trip across town to see her grandmother, so a few miles to the beach will be enough for her. “Maybe a book then?”

Ella wanders off and returns with her
Peppa Pig book and the Olaf that Liam bought her for Christmas.

“
Do you think Daddy will remember to get you some snacks to take?” I ask.

“
He said he’ll buy me some sweets and ice-creams.”

“
Healthy snacks,” I mutter and pull out some raisins. I package Ella a small box of fruits and crackers, and then put them in her bag.

Craig arrives on time for once
, and I grit my teeth as Ella rushes to him and he scoops her up.

“
Wow, my little girl’s getting heavy!”

“
I’m not little!” she protests.

He sets her on the floor and I pass Craig the bag.
“She says you’re going to the beach?”

“
Yeah, Barry. I want to make it a full day so we might be a bit later home.”

“
How late?”

“
Dunno, I’ll call you.” He pauses. “This would all be easier if you let her stay over with me.”

“
I’m not talking to you about this now.”

“
I want to sleep at Daddy’s!”

“
See!” he says.

“
You’re the one being unreasonable. If you really don’t trust me, we could stay at my mum’s.”

“
I don’t want to stay there,” says Ella and I attempt not to laugh.

Craig frowns at his backfired attempt at manipulating Ella
, and then arches his neck to look behind me. “Uncle Liam not here today?” he asks snidely.

“
No.”

“
Are you still together?”

“
None of your business, Craig.”

“
Oh, you know it is, Cerys.”

I glance back at Ella who
’s now hopping up and down the steps. “I put some snacks in for her in case she gets hungry on the way to Barry and her coat is in there, too.”

“
Coat? It’s twenty-five degrees.”

“
It might cool down later.”

Craig shakes his head and turns to his daughter.
“Okay, say goodbye to Mummy.”

I bend down and Ella wraps her arms around my neck, kissing my cheek.
“Bye, bye, Mummy.”

“
Enjoy the beach,” I say and pull my fingers through her ponytail as she walks away.

Craig leads Ella down the path and fastens her into his red
Ford sedan. He opens the driver door, and then pauses. “You do know I’m better for Ella than he is, right?”

“
You’re her dad.” I reply and he can take that however he likes. “Keep her safe.”

“
Don’t worry, I’ll look after her.” He pauses and taps the car window as if he has something else to say.

The guy I fell in love with years ago looks back at me
. I will always be reminded of him when I look at Ella as they share the thick-lashed brown eyes that captivate. She’s a beautiful little girl and he is part of the reason why. Craig struggled with parenthood more than me as he refused to grow up, but we made the decision to raise Ella together when I got pregnant. He deserves to spend time with his daughter, but Craig needs to bring logic into the situation and demonstrate to me he’s committed to her. Christmas still plays on my mind, and even though that was to punish me, he kicked her out, too.

Has our split and Liam
’s arrival in our life made him realise how special Ella is to him? Is this the wake-up call he needed? There’s room for all three of us if he drops the hostility, and I’ll do what’s best for Ella even if I have to give more of her than I’d like to Craig. But if he fights ugly, as he is now, so will I. Christmas still haunts me, and Liam suggests I use that against him if we go to court.

“
See you later, Cerys,” he says and climbs into the car.

I watch the car disappear down the road, half-relieved Ella is away today so I can have a day to myself.

****

I
spend a self-indulgent afternoon lying in the sun reading on my Kindle. It’s not quite the same as lounging by Liam’s pool in LA, but better than running around the house after a five year old. Liam’s been away in London for a few days again and Ella has been full on, boredom from school holidays aggravating her behaviour. For the first time ever, I’m relieved Craig has taken her for a few hours.

Losing track of time in the long summer days, I
’m surprised to see it’s 7 p.m. Will Ella need anything to eat when she gets back? Probably not, she’ll be full of junk food. I wander into the house and pick up my phone to call Craig.

“
Craig, what time will you be back with Ella?” I ask.

“
Not sure, I’m driving now.” He’s on speaker phone and Ella calls ‘hello’ in the background.

“
An hour? Two hours? It’s getting late.”

“
It’s school holidays, late bedtimes don’t matter!”

Yeah, you don
’t have the moody child tomorrow.
“Are you on your way?”

“
Yes. We might stop off to eat. How about I say we’ll be back by nine?”

I clench my teeth
, but what can I do? “Fine.” Ella calls something from the back but it’s hard to hear what she’s saying. “See you soon, Ella. Be a good girl for Daddy!”

Looks like my peaceful day is longer than I expected. I curl up on the sofa with a plate of lasagne balanced on my knee as I text Liam.

I ask him
.

<
Yeah. Working late tonight but a few days free after. Wanna go somewhere?>

There’s a pause in texts for a minute.

’m rolling my eyes>

’m giving you puppy dog eyes>

Maybe. I’m eating and waiting for a tired, grumpy Ella. I’ll call you later, after she gets home>

The bottle of white wine in the fridge empties as I watch old movies and wait for Ella. Halfway through
Marley and Me
, I drift to sleep, Liam creeping into my dreams. I wake to my phone ringing again.