Until I Love Again (38 page)

Joey grimaced. “Susanna hasn't asked to come, and I haven't pushed the point. Like I said, I'm going slowly.”

“But if you like the girl,” Langford insisted, “there's no sense in waiting around.”

“I don't want to lose her,” Joey said. “That's for sure.”

“I don't think that's going to happen,” Langford declared, picking up his folder again.

“She's a wonderful girl,” Beatrice added.

“That she is,” Joey said, staring at the ceiling.

“Well, there's plenty of time,” Beatrice continued. “You still have law school to finish.”

“What if I don't want plenty of time?” Joey replied. “Maybe I want to marry the girl now?”

His parents glanced at each other.

“I thought you were moving slowly,” Langford said.

“That's because of her, not me. I don't think she should be rushed. But if it were up to me, we'd be off on our honeymoon by summer.”

“Well,” Beatrice said, “in that case, ask her. Wives have gone along to law school before. It's difficult but doable.”

“You should be telling all this to Susanna, not us,” Langford said.

Joey turned to his mother. “So what would you do, Mom? Or more to the point, what would you want done if you were in Susanna's shoes?”

Beatrice thought for a moment. “I think the girl likes you, but she's afraid. What to do in that case? Well, tenderness and gentleness are always in order. Her heart has been bruised by what happened between her and her father, and that strange marriage attempt you told us about. She does come from another world, but underneath all that Susanna is not unlike most other women. I'd say I wouldn't mind a declaration of intentions, but without pressure.”

“Like the four years I waited for you,” Langford got in edgewise.

Beatrice gave him a smile. “I was worth the wait, wasn't I?”

“Did she really make you wait four years, Dad?” Joey asked.

Langford chuckled and busied himself with his file folder.

“Don't mind your father, Joey,” Beatrice said. “I fell into his hand like a ripe fruit.”

Joey joined in his parents' laughter. “Sometimes I can't believe I snuck a cell phone into an Amish home.”

“You are a very naughty boy,” Beatrice chided. “No wonder the girl's in love with you.”

“You want to tell us the story?” Langford asked.

“There's not much to it,” Joey told him. “Cell phones are a big
taboo with the Amish, and I just left one under a tree for Susanna to pick up.”

Langford whistled. “Real cloak-and-dagger stuff.”

“Let's just say there has been intrigue,” Joey said. “And I've even faced down bearded Amish men.”

“With all that effort, I'm sure things will work out,” Beatrice said.

Langford nodded. “I think you've set your heart on this girl, and there's little that can stop you now.”

Joey grinned and headed to his room. All he knew was that he wanted to see Susanna tonight, and he wanted to ask her if she would marry him. He wanted to see her beautiful face light up with hope and love. He wanted to hear her say,
I love you, Joey.

Joey paced his room until he noticed the full moon. It rose over the horizon outside of his bedroom window, and he stopped and stared. The full globe seemed to inch upward. Joey pulled himself away, deciding he would see Susanna tonight. Her duties would soon be over for the day, even with a full slate of guests. Rosalyn wouldn't mind the intrusion at this hour unless Susanna had already retired. If she had, he would leave again without Susanna's knowledge. More than likely, though, Susanna would still be up, stirred by the same moon he had seen and conflicted with the same emotions.

Joey hurried outside. He tossed an “I'll be back soon” over his shoulder at his parents.

He drove rapidly toward Canton. Most of the lights on Main Street were in his favor, and he ran through the last one just after it turned yellow. With a nervous glance around, he again saw the full glory of the moon. He dimmed his headlights on the empty road and sped on.

Moments later he turned into the Osseos' lane to park in the only available parking space. Vehicles were everywhere, and the low voices of Rosalyn's guests came from the shadowed pond behind
the small line of poplar trees. Everyone apparently was still awake, but so much the better. Susanna would be astir, and if the pond was the center of attention, Susanna might agree to a walk by the water's edge. They could meander to the other side on the footpath circling the pond.

Joey walked slowly up to the office area, where Rosalyn looked up in surprise from her desk. “I was just finishing the bookkeeping for the night. We are full to the hilt as usual.” She gave him a pensive look. “But why are you here?”

“To see Susanna, of course.” Joey glanced around, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Rosalyn studied him for a moment before her gaze drifted toward Susanna's room in the back of the house. “I'll tell her you're here.” Rosalyn disappeared down the hallway and came back moments later to say, “She'll be right out.”

Joey shifted from foot to foot until Susanna appeared.

“Hi,” he greeted her. “Sorry for the interruption at this time of the night, but the moon is full, and it's lovely. Want to go for a walk around the pond?”

“You came over for that?” Susanna asked.

“I came over to see you,” Joey said.

Susanna hesitated only a moment. “Sure, let's go.” She took Joey's arm, and he led the way outside.

He glanced back to Rosalyn, who gave him an encouraging wink. She must have figured out his intention—
Just like a woman,
he thought. Well, it was good to have one person on his side.

“It's beautiful out here,” Susanna said as they came to a stop beyond the first of the poplars lining the pond.

Their view was unobstructed across the pond and toward the horizon beyond. Faint forms of guests were outlined on lawn chairs near the water's edge and on blankets spread out on the ground.

Joey took her hand and slowly led the way around the pond on the east side.

“We've been busy today. All the cottages and rooms are full,” Susanna said, as if the information were extremely urgent.

“I'm sure Rosalyn's grateful she has you to help,” Joey said. His palms were beginning to sweat.

They were both silent for a while, and then Susanna asked, “How are your parents? I haven't seen them for days.”

Joey chuckled. “Oh, my mom is as feisty as always. I had a nice talk with them tonight about my future…and law school.”

Susanna's hand tightened in his. “Will you visit home often? I mean, after you leave.”

“When I can, I suppose,” he allowed. “Law school is pretty intense.”

Susanna looked up at him with a sad smile. “You'll come home all smart and be a real-life lawyer. That will make the sacrifice worth it, I suppose. Nothing good comes without pain, they say. I mean, look at what I've had to face in the last months.”

“Has it been worth it?” Joey gently pulled on her hand and they came to a stop near the far side of the pond.

Susanna smiled. “
Yah
, every moment of it. Part of it was finding you, Joey. It's been one of the best parts. You've been a
goot
friend.”

Her long hair shimmered in the moonlight, and the shadows deepened beneath her eyes. Joey reached up to touch her face, and Susanna didn't flinch.

He stood motionless. Did he dare? Susanna didn't seem to object to his closeness, but perhaps she had never been kissed before. She nestled against him, but said nothing.

Susanna was too tender in his arms, too injured, too trusting—too
something
. He couldn't put his finger on what. He simply held her.

“You are an angel,” she finally said.

“I'm not,” he objected.

She laughed. “We could go around this point all night.”

“Then I'm an angel,” he agreed.

They stood there until Joey tugged on her hand and led the way back around the other side of the pond. Susanna followed close beside him, matching her step to his.

He would claim this woman someday as his wife. Joey promised himself. He would accomplish what that Amish man couldn't do. He was just sorry it wouldn't be tonight.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

A
month later, Susanna stepped out of the car and waved as Rosalyn drove out of the Millers' driveway. Stillness settled over the barnyard, broken only by the soft bellows of the cows as they made their way from the barn to the pasture.

Susanna straightened her
kapp
and headed for the front door. As she entered, she heard the rise and fall of soft voices from the kitchen as the family ate breakfast. Her arrival must have been noted, but these regular visits of hers had become fully engrained in the Millers' routine and needed no special attention. She was part of the family again—in a limited way.

Daett
called from the kitchen. “
Goot
morning, Susanna. Come and eat some of
Mamm
's delicious oatmeal. There's still a little left.”

“I've already eaten,” Susanna hollered back. She hung her coat on the hook behind the living room stove and entered the kitchen.

“Sit down at least.”
Mamm
gave her a big smile. “
Daett
was just ready to read the morning's devotions.”

Susanna nodded and greeted her brothers as she pulled out a kitchen chair. They responded with mumbled greetings.
Daett
gave her a kind look, after which he opened the huge family Bible and
began to read. “ ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted…' ”
Daett
's voice broke for a second. “ ‘To preach deliverance…' ”

There were tears on
Daett
's face. Had there been a family quarrel this morning? None of her brothers appeared upset, and
Mamm
wasn't troubled. Why, then, was
Daett
in tears while he read the Scriptures? There seemed no clear answer as
Daett
finished and smiled at her again. “That is a
goot
Scripture,” he said to no one in particular. “Let us pray.”

Chairs and benches scraped on the hardwood floor, and the Miller family knelt. Susanna missed this tradition and always would. Neither the Macalister family nor the Osseos practiced such an ancient custom. She still knelt to pray at night in her room, and hopefully someday she would kneel with her husband in prayer—whoever he might be.

When
Daett
called out “Amen,” Susanna sat up with everyone else and
Mamm
started directing the boys on their chores. The boys responded slowly while Susanna cleared the table.

Minutes later Henry and James told her to have a
goot
day as they went out the washroom door to the barn. Susanna gave them a quick wave and reached over to tickle Tobias's chin.

Noah came down from getting ready, and Susanna asked him, “How are things going at school?”

The boy's eyes shone as he said, “We studied horses yesterday, and today we're going to write about them.”

As he headed off for school, Susanna turned to
Daett
, still seated at the table. His tears were gone, but a pensive look still filled his face. Little Tobias took the moment to scurry past his
daett
and head toward the living room.
Daett
's gaze followed the boy, and then his
eyes turned back to Susanna. “I have something planned today that we need to do.”

The tears glistened again on
Daett
's cheeks.
Mamm
must have noticed because she stepped away from the stove to give
Daett
a quick hug. With a pat on
Daett
's shoulder,
Mamm
went into the living room. Susanna and her
daett
were alone by design.
Daett
had requested this from
Mamm
, but for what reason? A thousand thoughts raced through Susanna's mind as
Daett
studied the kitchen tabletop.