Until Lilly (9 page)

“I love the way you taste
, and I love the way you let go the minute my mouth is on you,” he says quietly. I can feel his hard length against my stomach, and my hand starts to move towards the button of his jeans. His hand grabs mine, stopping me. “There isn’t enough time for that. When I finally get inside you, I'm going to want to take my time and have you in my bed, not here in my brother’s shower. Though I do plan on having you in the shower…just not this one,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “We need to go out to the party; everyone is going to be wondering where we are.”

“Oh no
,” I groan, rubbing my face. Everyone is going to know what we have been up to while we’ve been in the bathroom.

“Everyone’s outside.” He tilts my head back with both his hands at my jaw. “You’re so beautiful.” He kisses me softly on
my lips then my forehead before opening the shower curtain. “You should just put the suit back on under your dress.”

“I'm not wearing a bikini.”

“Lil, your body is perfect, and it looks good on you. Wear the suit.”

“I thought you said
—”

“No
, I said that I didn’t want Kenton or Sven to see you in it, not that it doesn’t look good, because it does.”

“I don’t know.” I p
ick my dress up from where it fell into the tub when he surprised me.

“Baby
, look at me.” My eyes go to his. “You look perfect; wear that suit.”

“Cash.”

“Our daughter grew inside of you. I loved your body before, and I love it even more now.”

“Fine
, I’ll wear it.” I can’t help but smile. I put the bikini bottoms back on, then the top before pulling my dress over my head. Once I'm dressed again, we head outside. Cash was right; everyone is out around the pool, and all the kids are playing out in the large grassy area where a large kids’ playhouse is set up. Then I see it—a large dog the size of a horse. One of the little girls is laying over its back while it walks around the playhouse sniffing the grass.

“Is that
Beast?” I stop, looking at Cash.

“Yep
, and the little girl on his back is July.” He laughs as we watch her try to stay on the dog’s back; he acts like he doesn’t even notice her. Cash points out each of the girls; three of them are Asher and November’s July, May, and June, and one is Hanna, who is Trevor and Liz’s Daughter.

“So Jax is the only boy?”

“Right now, yeah, but Liz is pregnant, and they found out a few days ago that they are having a boy.”

“Wow.” I look around the backyard filled with people and all the kids running around. We walk around while Cash introduce
s me to everyone, then wander over to the grill where an older gentleman—obviously, Cash and his brothers’ dad—is standing with Asher.

“Dad
, I want you to meet Lilly. Lilly, this is my dad, James.”

“Nice to meet you
, sir.”

“Oh no
, now I gotta train another one.” He points the spatula in his hand towards me. “You call me James or Dad—preferably Dad—none of this ‘sir’ business.”

“Okay.” I smile and laugh.

“I feel old enough with all my grandkids running around calling me papa or grandpa. I don’t need all my pretty daughters-in-laws callin’ me sir.”

“I'm no
—”

“Oh
, how sweet!” A woman’s voice cuts me off. “You want Cash’s new pussy to call you daddy.” I look up and see a beautiful woman with short shorts, a halter-top, and shoulder-length dark brown hair. She’s tall and wearing wedge heels, making her even more towering.

“What are you doing here
, Jules?” Cash asks next to me, and I realize that this woman is his ex-wife.

“I came to see my son.”

“You know you’re supposed to call.”

“Why
, so you can hide this bitch away? Like I don’t know that you have been sleeping around since before we got divorced.”

“Seriously?” Cash growls
, then I feel a hand on my elbow and I'm being tugged back.

“Mommy.” I hear Jax
’s voice and look over to see Ashlyn standing with him off to the side of his mother. “This is my sister, Ashlyn.”

“Oh no
,” I whisper just as Jules’s eyes go to Jax, who is now holding Ashlyn’s hand.

“You don’t have a sister
,” Jules growls.

“I do
!” He stomps his foot. “Daddy said she’s my sister. He even said we have the same eyes, look,” he says, opening his eyes up wide.

I take a step towards them
, wanting to grab both of the kids and get them out of this situation. A hand holds me back at my elbow. I look over my shoulder and am surprised to see it’s actually Nico. I glare, and then look back at the kids. “Ashlyn, Jax, let’s go inside so Daddy can talk to Jules,” I say as Cash walks over to where the kids are, picking them both up.

“My son isn’t going anywhere with you, you fucking bitch
,” Jules says to me, and Ashlyn starts to cry. Then Susan and November are there, taking them both from Cash and heading inside. I look towards the yard and see Liz and Trevor taking the other kids into the house.

“Jules
, you know that I'm Jax’s granddad, and I would hate to put his mom in jail,” James says; his eyes are cold, and I don’t think he would hesitate to do what he says.

“Oh
, like you would really give a fuck,” she says leaning forward, and then looks at me. “Who the fuck are you?”

“You need to leave
, Jules. Now,” Cash says, taking a step in front of me. “Bro, take Lil inside for me.” He looks past me to Nico.

“Sure thing.” Nico puts his arm around my shoulder and starts to lead us inside.

“You should stay with him,” I say quietly, looking up at Nico. I don’t think he is a fan of mine, but I can tell he loves his brother, and I love—

W
ait…love him?
I shake my head. No, I don’t. I care about Cash. Yes, as the father of my child. And want him to be safe, and I can tell that woman is all kinds of crazy. “Please.” I fist my hand into his shirt.

His eyes flash something
, but it’s gone before I can catch it. “All right, go on inside,” he says quietly. My stomach is in knots as I pull the door closed behind me. It’s not jealousy; it’s something else. I don’t like the way that woman spoke to her son, and I also didn’t like how she spoke to Cash and his family.

“She is never going to change.”

“What?” I look over at Liz.

“When she first came forward saying she was pregnant
, Cash was devastated about losing you.”

“What?
” I repeat like an idiot.

“I mean
, he didn’t say anything, but you could see it. You know?” she asks, her eyes coming to mine. I nod in understanding. I was devastated too. “But then I thought, I mean, I guess we all thought that maybe they could end up happy. Crazier things have happened, right?” She shrugs.

“I guess
,” I say, feeling like a horrible person for being ecstatic that he wasn’t happily married to her right now.

“She was never happy
, and did everything in her power to make him unhappy too.”

“But why?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs again. “All I know is that the day Cash told us that he was getting a divorce, I popped a bottle of champagne.”

“Was she really that bad?”

“You don’t even know the half of it,” she says, looking out the window, watching as Cash, his dad, and Nico all stand watching as Jules flings her arms around. I can tell Cash says something to her when she looks at the glass door, her eyes on me.

“If looks could kill
,” Liz says.

“Yeah. I agree.”

“Don’t worry; she’s a lot of bark, and no bite.”

“Okay
,” I say, not believing it for a second. I could tell from the look on her face that this is just the beginning. I watch out the glass door as she stomps off through the yard. Cash’s head hangs low. Then Nico is there, putting his arm around his shoulders and telling him something. Then his dad is in front of him, doing the same. I watch for a while, but once Jules doesn’t come back, I go to check on the kids.

                                                                        *~*~*

“Hey, baby. What are you doing?” My eyes open and Cash is standing above me wearing nothing but a pair of swim trunks. I guard my eyes against the sun, trying to get a better view of his chest and abs. The minute I move, Jax wiggles, and I remember that I have one kid napping on each side of me.

“We were reading a story.” I look down at both kids
. I put sunblock lotion on them earlier, but it may be time for more. “What time is it?” I ask as Cash lays down on the other side of Ashlyn.

“A little after two.” His fingers run along the side of my face
, then down and over my bottom lip. “You’re getting a little pink,” he says, running his finger over the bridge of my nose.

“Yeah
, I should probably put some more lotion on, and put more on these two,” I say, running my hands over each of the kids’ heads. Cash’s face goes soft and he leans forward, kissing me softly.

“You ready to talk about my ex?”
he asks, and it surprises me that he’s the one bringing it up. After she left and I found the kids, he came in to make sure that we were okay. Then he took Jax aside and talked to him. I don’t know what he said, but Jax looked so sad that I hated Jules in that moment. I don’t think any parent should talk to their child the way she spoke to Jax, or the way she talked in front of him. Her and Cash’s problems were their problems and should be discussed between the two of them, not in front of an audience, including six small children.

“I don’t know.” I shrug
; I don’t know if I want to talk about his ex. The thought of him with her makes me feel sick.

“I would like to get it all out
, if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure
,” I say, taking a deep breath trying to prepare myself.

“I was hooking up with her before I met you.” He moves
, laying on his side and propping his head in his hand. “We would hook up, but that’s all it ever was.”

“Okay.” I swallow the lump in my throat.

“The minute I met you, I stopped seeing her and any anyone else.” I nod, my eyes closing in relief. “About three months later, she calls me to tell me that she’s pregnant, and that unless I want her to get an abortion, I needed to go with her to the doctor.” I look down to make sure that both the kids are still asleep. I don’t think that this is something they should ever know. “I met her at the appointment and the doctor did an ultrasound. I saw Jax for the first time and heard his heartbeat, and I fell so deeply in love in that moment.” He takes a deep breath. “After the appointment, Jules told me that if I wanted her to keep the baby, I needed to cut everyone else off and focus on her.” He looks past me, running his hand over his mouth before his eyes come back to me. “I hated doing it, but I wanted my son. I knew that Jules wasn’t going to make it easy, but at the end of the day, if my child was healthy and happy, everything else would pale in comparison.”

“I can understand that
,” I whisper, running my fingers through Cash’s hair that had fallen forward into his eyes.

“Well
, you know I called you and told you I couldn’t see you anymore.” I nod, that same pain from a few years ago shooting through my chest. “She moved in with me. I wanted to keep her close; I didn’t want her to have a chance to get an abortion. I was afraid if I turned my back for a second, that’s exactly what she would do. At first, our relationship was nothing but her living in my house, and then things changed. I didn’t love her, but I cared about her, and I looked at Asher and Trevor’s relationships and they were both so happy…and I wanted that for myself. At the time, Jules was so easy to get along with. So I tried to build a relationship with her.”  I bite my lip trying not to cry; I don’t want to know this. “It never worked. Right after we got married, things changed. She changed. She turned into someone who was mean and manipulative. Or maybe she was like that before, but I was wanting what my brothers had so badly that I looked past it,” he says quietly, reaching towards me and wiping away a single tear that has made its way down my cheek. “You know, she was bad, but I'm also to blame.” He runs his thumb across my bottom lip. “I was still stuck on you, and kept comparing everything about her to you.” Oh, God, I couldn’t take anymore. I was going to start sobbing if he didn’t stop. “I will do everything in my power to keep us together and to make you fall in love with me again.” I don’t think that it’ll be that hard for him to do. My mom and dad are going to kick my ass, but I just can’t help feeling like I’m meant to be with him.

“Cash?”

“Yeah?” He leans forward, kissing me lightly.

“What did she say to you before she left?”

“That she was going to try and get custody of Jax.”

“No
,” I gasp as I run my hand over Jax’s head at my waist.