Vain (32 page)

“I don’t know what to say,” I told him truthfully.

“Say you’ll stay. Give it all up, Soph. You have nothing really to go back to, you told me so yourself.”

“Excuse me? I have plenty to go back to,” I said, affronted.

“Yes, but none of it means anything.”

He was right, of course, but I didn’t like how he dismissed my old life so readily. Yeah, I was different since Masego but I could still have a righteous future in the States.
But can you leave Ian? Really leave him? How about Mandisa?
I shook my head of the thoughts.
              “I don’t have a choice,” I told him.
              “You do. Choose me, Soph.”
But with Ian comes responsibility. Could I choose a Masego life for myself? For the rest of my life? Could I commit to it?
              I hedged. “I’m due back in court at the completion of my sentence, though.”
              “Then I’ll come with you and we’ll come back together,” he said, hugging me to his chest tightly. “It would probably be good to have a Masego rep there anyway.”
              I pushed at him slightly. “We don’t have to decide now,” I told him.
              He widened the distanced I’d created. “Why are you being so difficult about this?”
              “I’m not,” I said. “It’s a really heavy decision, Ian. I want to be careful.”
              “What’s to decide?” he asked, incensed. “If the situation were reversed, I wouldn’t hesitate!”
              “Of course you wouldn’t! You already live here!”

His hands fell to his side and my skin felt bereft of his warmth. I missed his touch almost immediately. I just stopped myself from grabbing those hands and placing them back. My chest ached from our fight and I didn’t know how to go forward with him. This was such a huge thing. I just wanted him to understand that it was such a huge
decision, I needed time to come to terms with it.

“I see,” he said, dejected.

He stood and made his way to the back of the truck to grab his tools. I stood and hesitated reaching for him like my gut was screaming at me to do.
Don’t lose him!
it nagged. I followed him to the back to help but he had already gotten what he needed and was making his way back to the fence.
              I stood next to him holding up the loose plank and the quiet was a heady thing. It weighed on my shoulders like nothing else before, a million pounds of unrequested pressure. Whenever I’d ever been faced with a difficult decision, I ran. Always. I ran as fast as I could and never looked back, constantly distracting myself from making any kind of decision that would alter my life one way or another.
              But Ian didn’t deserve that. He was in love with me and was sad that he might lose me. How could I possibly get mad at that? How could I possibly tell him no? Masego made me happier than I’d ever been. Ian was the love of my life, I was certain, despite my young age. He was
it
.
              “Ian, I-” I’d begun but he stopped me.
              “Do you smell that?” he asked, distracted.
              “What?” I asked, taking a deep breath.
              “Something’s burning,” he said, standing rigidly straight and peering Masego’s direction.
It was too far away to see it and if there was smoke we couldn’t see it in the dark of the night.
              “I smell it, too,” I said, worried we might be caught in an approaching grass fire. “What should we do?”
              Suddenly, shots rang out from the direction of Masego. I jumped, grasping Ian’s arm. My heart dropped and a lump formed in my throat.

“What was that?” I asked Ian.

“Get in the jeep, Sophie.”

Ian dropped his tools where they lay and hopped in the driver’s seat so quickly I’d barely had time to register his command. I quickly obeyed,
goosebumps rising on my skin when five consecutive shots rang out again. An unchecked sob came bursting from my throat.

“No!” I yelled as Ian started the jeep and peeling backwards from the fence. We raced, the lights from the jeep showing a seemingly endless sea of stark grass. The only sounds the blades slapping against the sides and our breaths as we blundered the length of the fence to get to the entrance.

“Please,” I begged out loud, my knuckles white against the dash.

I glanced at Ian and panic was written over every line of his face. My stomach plummeted further at his expression. Six more consecutive shots spilled from Masego and Ian punched the gas further, grabbing me by the arm and wrenching me into his side.
              “Hold on,” he said steadily, before charging through the fence to get to Masego faster. When the truck righted, he said, “The guns, Sophie.”
              I grabbed his assault rifle hung at the back of our bench seat and rested the butt against the floor near his leg then opened the glove box and removed the handgun. Instinctively, as Ian had taught me, I removed the magazine and checked the bullets before replacing it. I placed the gun in my lap. My hands shook as I wrenched my hair back into a ponytail.
              Masego came into view and my heart clenched in the worst pain I could possibly imagine. She was on fire. It seemed not an inch of her went unscathed. More and more gunfire rang out and the adrenaline took over. I was ready.
              Ready to defend her.
              Ready to save others, if I could.
              Ready to die for them...especially Ian.
             
It felt like we couldn’t get close enough, fast enough. The inches dragged.
              Ten feet within its barriers, though, we could see obvious LRA soldiers opening fire on anything that moved, running toward buildings in attempt to get people,
children
, out.
              “If we don’t make out of this alive, Sophie Price, I want you to know that I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. You’re
it
for me,” Ian said, stealing my breath and my words from earlier.
Tears streamed my face. He kissed me hard and quickly.
              “Stay down,” he said, shoving my head toward the seat.
              He exited the vehicle before I’d had a chance to say anything to him. He created distance between himself and the jeep, probably to keep the bullets from straying toward me, before opening fire himself.
              “
No
!” I yelled a million times, tears plummeting. “I didn’t get to tell you!”I cried. “You were supposed to let me tell you!” I choked in pain. “No,” I said again, when bullets seemed to fly toward the direction I thought he’d gone.
              I didn’t hesitate, didn’t think twice. I flew up from my crouched position, crawled over and opened the driver’s side door, fixing myself behind it as a makeshift shield. I placed my hands on the window’s edge and assessed the grounds.
              “Two soldiers at the back of our huts, three at the kitchen’s door.” My eyes followed back across. “Seven on Karina’s and Charles’ porch. Two at the children’s house door. Five at Kate’s.” All the buildings were on fire except for Karina’s and Charles’ cabin and Ian’s and my huts.
              Ian was nowhere to be seen which comforted me. He wasn’t lying in the common area and that was one more check toward keeping my sanity. I scanned the area once more and drank in the sight of our stalwart Baobab tree, its entirety had erupted in flames. Unease began to settle through me.
              I didn’t hear any of the children. “Please, God. Just, please.
Please
.”
Do something, Sophie.
My feet seemed rooted where they stood though.
Save them
.
              Motivation is a funny thing. It can come from out of nowhere. For instance, a child’s scream. From my hut.
              I sprung into action, edging the courtyard fence unseen and approaching mine and Ian’s huts. I raised my weapon and crept around the side, edging my way toward the two soldiers near the back, their weapons raised, ready to fire.
              Slowly, very slowly, I angled myself for a good enough view. They were within range and weren’t aware of me. I took three deep breaths, readying myself to kill two men I didn’t know. Two men who were so ready to take part in the slaughtering of my adopted family.
             
For them
.
I checked the safety, placed my finger on the trigger and aimed it at the first one’s head. My finger was ready to squeeze but out of nowhere the men fell to the ground without the aid of my own bullets. I plastered myself back into the side of my hut.                           
              Suddenly, a hand came around my mouth. The hand spun me toward them. A finger on his own lips. Ian.
              “I told you to stay in the jeep, Sophie.”
              “I love you,” I blurted, frantic and a little rattled from the deaths of the soldiers. “It’s the kind of love I never thought I would have, never thought I deserved but it’s forever, Ian. Forever.”
              He nodded once in acknowledgement. All business.
              “The kids are safe. They’re hidden on the east side of the property. Kate got them out somehow.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Follow me,” he ordered, then stopped. “Closely.”
We ran to the front of our huts, first inspecting Ian’s then mine for the child who had screamed. A pair of wide eyes met mine underneath the bed.
              “Shh, Mandisa,” Ian whispered with a smile. “It’s us. Stay right here, okay?” She started to cry in protest. “Mandisa,” Ian said sternly. “Stay here, stay hidden, stay
quiet
. No one will come near this hut, you understand? Stay hidden, baby.”

We stuffed my heavy down comforter with her, hoping it would stifle any noise she heard. I kissed her and ran outside with Ian. We followed the line of buildings and Ian stealthily took out the seven on Karina’s and Charles’ porch without blinking an eye.

“Cover me, Soph,” Ian said, sliding open a shallow window of the children’s house.

I aimed my gun inside as he entered, my ears peeled for the slightest noise. Ian pulled me through the window as if I weighed a trifle. I bit back my surprise. He stuffed me behind him once more and we scaled the walls, listening before we entered each room with a flourish of raised weapons. Each room was
empty, the soldiers loitering outside the front door were gone, probably fled.

We exited the same window we entered and approached the kitchen and cafeteria quietly. Ian peered through a low window at the back of the building.

“Shit,” he said under his breath. “That same pair from the children’s house have a handful of children being held hostage at the front of the building. Karina’s with them.”

I glanced through the same window to see for myself. Sure enough, five children and Karina stood huddled together. You could tell Karina was assuring them, attempting to calm them. My stomach tumbled the remaining length of my body to my feet.

“How do we get them out?” I asked.

“Stay here,” he told me, standing.

“Wait. Wait. What are you doing?”

“I’m going to get them.”

“Ian, no. Let’s think about this.”

“And while we think, they could be killed. There’s no time. Stay here or I swear to God,
Soph...”

He molded himself to the wall, edging slowly and disappearing from my view. I raised myself just enough to see through the window to the other side in time to see Karina notice him. My breath stilled as the soldiers spoke to one another unaware of his approach.

I couldn’t hear anything but saw Karina suddenly tuck the children into themselves, shielding them.

I waited for the gunfire but none came.

The breath I’d been holding rushed from me and the released adrenaline made my body shake. The soldiers laid down their weapons at their feet before kneeling with their hands above their heads and Karina pulled their guns out of reach.

I ran around the building to help and noticed Mercy had been among the huddled. She was so small we thought she was a child. Two children ran and hugged me, crying.

I sank down to my knees. “Shh,” I told them as they wrapped their arms around my neck and waist.

Mercy grabbed
theone wrapped around Karina and took the one already with her as well as mine. She ran with them to join the others who had already escaped and Ian escorted them. Karina took one of the soldier’s guns and held them at gunpoint. I raised my own gun to assure them they weren’t going anywhere.

While we waited, I drank the two men in. They were practically boys, seventeen at the most with bodies only on the verge of becoming men, really. Their faces still exuded innocence. They were a walking dichotomy. Baby faced assassins.

Back home, these boys would have been peers, with lives of their own. Lives unstolen by a psychopath and I almost found myself feeling sorry for them. Almost.

“Is anyone hurt, Karina?” I asked her, feeling out of breath.

“Not that I know of. Somehow, by the grace of God, the children came out of this unscathed. They’d opened fire on them almost immediately.”

I released a shuddered breath.
              “I’m so sorry we weren’t here.”
              “You were doing your jobs, Sophie. We all were. We were just a day too late.”
              “It’s okay, though,” I told her. “We can leave tonight. Thank God the CHU’s are there.”
She nodded.
              After a few minutes, Karina approached one of the boys.
              “What are you doing?” I asked her, nervous.
              “I’m checking to see if he has any other weapons hidden.”
I nodded, lowering my gun closer to their heads.
              Karina patted the length of the first boy’s legs and lifted the back of his shirt to reveal any weapons. She made him turn over on his back and did the same thing to his front side.
              “Nothing,” she said, relaxing a bit. “You,” she told the other one, “Move onto...”