Vain (33 page)

But she didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence because the second boy lunged for the assault rifle around her shoulder, yanking it over her head. I raised my own to shoot him but the first boy pitched forward for me. I didn’t hesitate, shooting him in the head once and dropping him where he stood.

I turned to defend Karina, my friend, practically a surrogate mother to me, a surrogate mother to all the children there and someone I had grown to love so dearly...but it was too late.
The second boy had already shoved her to the ground, his rifle pointed at her chest and fired a single shot.
It was the only shot he would get because I raised my weapon and shot him twice in the head. I fell at her side, screaming but noticed she was still conscious. Absently, I heard stifled screaming voices come from the east.
              “Karina?” I asked, more afraid than I’d ever been. “Hold on for me, okay?” I removed my button up and pressed it into her chest to slow the bleeding but within seconds it was soaked.
              My shaking hands fluttered over her. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Karina’s bloodied hands stopped mine as she cradled them in her own. She looked at me and smiled softly, shaking her head for me to stop and closing her eyes.

“No, no, no, no,” I kept muttering under my breath, tears streaming down my face, waiting for Charles to find us. “Charles will find us. Charles will fix this.”

I cradled her beautiful head in my lap, held onto her tightly, as if I could tether her to my earthly world. The heat from her burning baobab tree warmed our bodies with such heat that the tears felt cool against my cheeks and chest. “Oh, my lovely, lovely, Karina,” I cooed, running my hands over her silky hair. “Oh, Karina.” A sob burst from my chest at her name.
              Her eyes drifted open lazily and her face reflected her age for the first time since I’d known her. “Don’t cry for
me
, my love,” she whispered, raising her tender hand and wiping my face. She smiled softly, and it relaxed me instantly, even at that obvious hour of her death. “I’ve lived the most extraordinary life and I can genuinely say that I would wish this life on anyone. Even now. Even as I lay here staining the ground beneath us...” she coughed, and I held her tighter “...because it wasn’t what I had decided for myself.

“It was better. Better than anything I could have conjured on my own. So I’m telling you, my beautiful Sophie Price, don’t cry for me.” She coughed again and this time blood accompanied it.

“Karina, don’t leave,” I begged her.

“Promise me one thing,” she requested. “Promise me you’ll give it all to God and let Him decide it for you. He’ll gift you no regrets.”
 

“
Shhh,” I told her, brushing her hair back when she inhaled and choked on air. “Save your breath, Karina.”

“You may have misery,” she continued, ignoring my plea, “you may lose hope in the sorrow of an unplanned life but as long as you have faith and trust in adoration, in affection, in love, that sorrow will turn to happiness. And
that
is a constant, dear.” She breathed deeply and steadily for a moment, seemingly catching her breath.

“No one can know sincere happiness, Sophie, without first having known sorrow. One can never appreciate the enormity and rareness of such a fiery bliss without seeing misery, however unfair that may be.

“And you will know honest happiness. Of that I am certain. Certain because it’s why you are here and also because
here
is your inevitability.”

I hugged her, crying into her shoulder and silently begging God to save her, silently screaming out for Charles to be there. I worried for him.

Her breaths sounded wet and labored and I stole a moment away from the embrace to look at her. I shook my head at how pale she’d become.

“Tell him he was my greatest adventure. Tell him I love him,” she rasped.

I nodded. She sputtered her last breath and died in my arms.
              “
No!
” I screamed at her. “
No!
”
A noise approached and I raised a trembling gun at it, bawling openly. It was Ian. The gun forgotten.
              He stopped short at the sight, shaking his head back and forth in disbelief. His eyes reflected glassy in the light of the fire. He ran to us, sliding before us. He raised his hands before me, words escaping him. I couldn’t explain. I’d lost my voice as well. I could only offer him tears in explanation. I watched his unsteady hand smooth Karina’s hair from her face and a sob broke from between his lips.
              “Karina?” we heard come near us. “
Karina
?” Charles desperately inquired and my heart already ached severely for him. “Karina!” he exclaimed, finding her bloodied in both Ian’s and my arms. “
Karina
!” he bellowed, hysterically grabbing for his wife. Ian and I gave her to him and he held her closely. “Oh my God! My God!” He clutched her to him fiercely. “Karina, my love. Karina. Karina. Karina.” He could only repeat her name over and over.
              We could hear children’s voices approaching and I ran over to stop them from getting any closer. I kept them at the fence, preventing them from seeing anything. I looked upon each of their unsure faces and was close to bursting.
How are we going to tell them
?
              I checked on Ian and Charles and noticed Charles had begun to carry his wife to his cabin, struggling in his older age to take all her weight. When Ian attempted to help, Charles refused, lifting her up the porch steps and closing the door behind them.
              Ian watched the door for a moment before turning my direction. The sun was beginning to rise, the buildings were but smoldering, charred remains and the gray morning cast a murky pall over Masego.
              I studied the hopeless state within its walls, my eyes falling upon the still burning tree, no longer the imposing, comforting soldier I’d come to rely so heavily on.
              As long as the baobab tree is here, I will be...
 

CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE

             
We buried Karina at the new property within twenty-four hours because there was no way to preserve her body. It was just as well, none of us would have grieved her properly even if we had been able to keep her for a few more days.
              That night we took the children to the CHU’s, pairing the older kids with the younger kids so they had someone to watch over them as well. None of them took the news of her death well but a handful of children were beside themselves and it took days to get them to feel they were out of harm’s way.

Charles fell into a deep depression, tending to keep to his CHU a lot. We would take him trays of food but they only sat near the edge of his cot. It seemed we were going in just to replace the old untouched food but I was diligent. Eventually, he would need to eat and I wanted it to be available to him when the time came. Poor Charles, every time I’d knock and enter, he’d be still on his cot but would always roll over to smile at me, pat my hand and tell me I was good girl. I would keep a brave face for him but the second that CHU door fell
closed, I’d have to stifle a sob.

             
Pembrook arrived two days before he was originally scheduled which helped a lot. The second their plane touched down in the field next to the new community he’d asked where Charles’ room was. They’d disappeared inside and I’d only gotten to see him when I took them both dinner that night.              
              Pemmy hugged me tightly and I returned the hug, a little piece of security fitting back into place. I knew it would take awhile for it ever to go back to rights and I wasn’t even sure if it ever would completely. My whole world had been knocked off its axis. When I thought I could find solace in Ian’s arms, I’d discovered that he was entirely too busy, too exhausted and too frayed for me to expect anything out of him fairly. In fact, I worked tirelessly to appease any burden I possibly could for him. Selfishly, I admit it also made me feel closer to him. He was so closed off he felt unattainable.
              He was running Masego by himself, while overseeing construction, arranging for meal preparations, and so on and so on
and so on
. He was stretched thin, very, very,
very
thin.
Which is why I hadn’t mentioned his mom ringing me a few days after we’d buried Karina...
              “Hello?” I asked, not recognizing the number on my sat phone.
              “Miss Price, this is Abri Aberdeen.”
              I was perplexed. “Hello, Miss Aberdeen. How are you?”
              “I’m fine. Thanks. I need to talk to you.”
              “I figured as much since you’ve rang my sat phone. It must be fairly important for you to be calling now,” I nettled, “seeming as we just buried Karina. Did Ian let you know?”
              “Yes, yes,” she flippantly acknowledged, “I’m very sorry and all that but...”
And all that?
“I needed to speak with you.” My blood boiled in my veins.
              “I can see that it must be urgent then. Is there something the matter?”
              She cleared her throat. “I, well, I need to be blunt with you, Miss Price.” She paused.
              “Go on.”
What? Do you need an invitation? Or are you hesitating because you know you’re about to do irreparable damage?
A lazy, curling unease settle throughout my entire body and I tensed, preparing myself.
              “I need to know the extent of your relationship with my son.”
              “I’m sorry?” I guffawed.
              “Are you with him? Together?”
              I choked on my own words. “Why would you need the clarification? What is it any business of yours?”
              “Because!” she exclaimed, all politeness evaporated. “Do you know who I am? Know my political aspirations? If the media caught wind that
you
, of all people, were with him, they would have a field day with it! I can’t afford this right now. I need all media outlets in my corner. I’m the leading candidate right now!”
              I barely smothered the scream ready to erupt from my throat. “Abri,” I said in the most collected voice I could conjure, “I don’t have time for this right now. We just buried Karina. Do you know how much she meant to your son? And we're relocating the entire orphanage, Abri. Excuse me if I’m not able to see how important this election is to you. Truly, I hope the best for you but the fish in my fry pot are so big, the oil is spilling over, burning everything in its path.”
              “What if I could fix it for you?” she asked, her voice tinged with desperation.
              “What could you possibly do?” I asked, curious.
              “I have political ties in L.A. I can arrange for you to come home early. Would that be enough?”
              “You’re kidding me. You must be.” I laughed. “Abri, I’m sorry but I don’t need nor do I want your “help”. I would stay here regardless if you got me a reduced sentenced. I need to go. Have a good day.”
              “One more thing, then,” Abri said, her voice seething. “Leave Ian be or I will cut him off. He will never again see a dime from me.” Then she hung up.
 

I’d hung the sat phone up, shaking from how angry she’d made me.
Bribery! Threats!
I’d hung up with her that evening trying very hard not to feel the restlessness our conversation had given me. I wasn’t joking with her, I had about a million things on my plate.

Little did I know, her unreal request would be the loose thread that would unravel my entire
world.

The day before Christmas Eve, things felt to be steadying out and looking hopeful again. We would surprise each child with a new outfit, new shoes and two
toys Christmas Day, the construction was moving forward seamlessly, and even Charles had come up for air to help every once in awhile. Yes, I, we, had every reason to be hopeful.

I woke that morning to a knock on my CHU.

“Pembrook? What’s up?” I asked, smiling.

He looked visibly put out. “May I come in?”

“Of course,” I said, swinging open my door for him. He sat at the little chair at the little built-in desk and I sat across from him on my cot.

“Just spit it out,” I said, burying my head in my hands. “I don’t think anything you say could make our situations any worse.” He shook his head in answer and my stomach dropped. “What is it?”