Valor on the Move (24 page)

“I know, but I think you’ll have to put up with some extra hovering from all of us. Not to mention the agents. This rattled the hell out of them. Understandably.”

“Is there any word on Alan?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll find out. Oh, and Ashleigh should be here this afternoon. Agent Nguyen’s sending a team to pick her up at Dulles.”

“She’s coming back from Paris?” Rafa pushed himself up to sitting. “But I’m fine. What about her internship?”

“Are you kidding? Raf, you got kidnapped. Of course she’s coming back. She caught the first flight she could. I talked to her from the airport and she was a mess.”

Tender affection for her swelled in his chest. “She’s my best friend. Ugh, it shouldn’t make me feel good to have people worried about me, but it kind of does.”

“Course it does.” Chris stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Raf, we’ve all been caught up in our own lives. Our own shit. We have to be better at talking. At being brothers. You should come to New York and visit me and Hadley more often. Matty too, and Ade. We need to stick together. And you know Mom and Dad love you, right? They’re not perfect, but who is?”

Rafa nodded. “It’s my fault. I kept so much inside, and I should have been honest.”

“It’s all of our faults. We should all have been honest.”

“I guess so.”

Chris said, “Look, they’re sending up a tray for you with one of your favorites, and you should sleep for a few hours.”

“I don’t think I can sleep. I can definitely eat, though.”

But after he scarfed down a plate of French toast, sausage, and eggs, Rafa’s eyes drooped uncontrollably and he curled under his duvet.
Just for twenty minutes…

“Raf?”

He blinked to find Ashleigh sitting beside him on the bed. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her blonde hair was yanked back in a ponytail. “Ash. You made it. What time is it?”

“Just after four.”

“You didn’t have to come.” He sat up and hugged her close.

“Sure, I was just going to stay in Paris drinking lattes and schlepping pantyhose and shoes to photoshoots while you died a horrible death at the hands of terrorists.” She clung to him, sniffling.

“Hey, hey. I’m okay.” He pulled back and cupped her cheek. “No crying.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know, but I can’t stop. Jesus, that flight was the longest eight and a half hours of my life. The stupid in-flight wireless wouldn’t work, and I had no idea what was happening. I snotted all over those poor agents who picked me up when they told me you were okay. And there were cameras everywhere, so I’m sure my awesome crying face has been captured for posterity.”

He gave her a kiss and hugged her again. “I’m sorry you were so worried. I love you too.”

“Are you really okay?” Her voice was muffled in his bathrobe. “Fuck, Raf. That must have been terrifying.”

He sat back. “Yeah. It was bad.” His breath caught as he remembered the box, but his heart slowed when he thought of Shane lifting him out. “But Shane saved me. One of the agents on my detail.”

Her gaze narrowed. “Wait…is he?”

“What?” Rafa realized he was smiling, but he couldn’t stop himself.

After her jaw dropped, Ashleigh hissed, “He’s the Harley, isn’t he?”

Biting his lip, Rafa nodded.

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed, and then slapped her hand over her mouth. She lowered her voice. “Your family is circling out there like sharks. Well, worried, well-intentioned sharks. That wasn’t a criticism. What I’m trying to say is they’re right outside. Okay, tell me everything.
Everything.
” She whispered, “This is the guy you kissed?”

“Uh-huh. Shane.”

“And after you kissed him, everything went back to Secret Service business as usual?”

“Yeah. It was the worst.”

“I bet. But he saved you? That’s pretty awesome.”

“They fired at his head, but they missed and it only grazed him.”

She gasped. “Whoa. And then what?”

“He followed us. I was in the back of a van. They put me in this box.” He swallowed thickly. “It was awful.”

“Oh God.” She took his hand, holding it tight. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Me too. So Shane killed them and got me out of the box.” Rafa lowered his voice even more. “And he kissed me.”

“Shut up! Holy crap. Keep going!”

“But then more of them came, and we had to run through the woods. There was a little cave, and we hid inside. Shane had a machine gun, and he waited for them. I guess he killed them all, but there was a rockslide, and we got stuck in the cave. The entrance was blocked.”

Nodding, Ashleigh listened, her puffy eyes wide.

Rafa leaned closer, keeping his voice low. “And I figured, fuck it. If I was going to die, I was going to kiss him again. Shit, Ash. It was amazing. I was on his lap, and it was pitch black, so we could only feel each other, and hear, and…” He tingled just thinking about it, his groin tightening.

“Oh. My. God,” she breathed. “You had sex with your agent.”

Rafa couldn’t stop his grin. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Well, a hand job. But it was amazing. Just
kissing
him was amazing. I like him so much. Talking to him is just…it’s so easy.”

She grinned back. “You’re totally in love with him.”

“I am.” He breathed deeply, and the certainty filled him completely. “I really am. Is it weird that getting kidnapped was simultaneously the worst and best night of my life? I’m a terrible person. My other agent might die, and everyone was so worried.”

“You’re not a terrible person. You’re allowed to be happy about a good thing even when other stuff sucks.” She hugged him. “Just don’t ever get kidnapped again, okay?”

“Deal.” His heart dropped, and he sat back. “Oh, and there’s one other thing. I kind of came out to my family, but they’d already figured it out.”

She nodded. “Chris warned me. That’s rough—to say the least—about your dad and that fucking bill. But I think it’s a good thing they know for sure now.”

“But we had a plan. What about your parents?”

“I’ll go see them tomorrow.” Her smile faltered. “They’re going to react how they’ll react. Whether it’s tomorrow or January. It is what it is. Maybe I should get kidnapped afterward so they realize they love me even if I’m a big ol’ dyke.” She laughed weakly. “I guess it’s good to find out now if I’m still going to have a family after they know the truth.” She rolled off the bed to her feet. “Let me grab a shower.”

Rafa snagged her hand. “You’ll still have a family, Ash. We’re family forever.”

Swallowing hard, she nodded. “Shit, don’t make me cry again.” She swiped at her puffy eyes. “Does the White House stock Visine?”

“Go have a shower and I’ll ask Henry to dig some up.”

“Thanks, babe. And hey…when are you going to see him again? Harley?”

He shrugged. “I guess I have to be patient. I mean, it’s not like…we can’t.”

“One night’s better than nothing, right?” She smiled sadly.

Rafa tried to smile back. “I hope so.”
 

They met in the Yellow Oval Room on the second floor, which was decorated in—wait for it—various shades of yellow that probably had names like “buttercream,” “sunflower,” “lemon,” and “apricot.” Rafa settled on one of the couches with Ashleigh on one side of him and Adriana the other. His parents took the other couch across the pink marble coffee table, with Matthew, Chris, and Hadley in chairs.

Platters of finger sandwiches and cookies sat on the table, and the butler served them tea and coffee before quietly leaving the room. Everyone was showered and changed, but they were all clearly exhausted. When Rafa had looked in the mirror, his freckles had stood out even more on his paler skin. But he’d smiled and thought about Shane wanting to lick them. He’d left his hair curly and put on jeans and a Yankees tee. Fuck his chinos.

Rafa cleared his throat. “I just wanted to say how good it is to be back here with you all.” He felt like he was having a peace treaty with his own family. All that was missing was a line of photographers. “I’m sorry for taking off like that. If I hadn’t…”

“Don’t be sorry.” Ramon shook his head. “Your agents failed to keep you safe.”

“No!” Rafa could feel his blood pressure rise already, and the conversation had just started. “It wasn’t their fault. Alan could die, and Shane saved me. He—” Rafa cleared his throat. “They did everything they could.”

Ashleigh frowned. “How did the kidnappers even know you’d be there? No one could have foreseen you running off like that.”

The rest of the family shot each other glances and shifted uncomfortably. Camila sighed. “Well, that’s the question, isn’t it? A full investigation has already begun. But it seems someone in the service had to be involved, as difficult and painful as that is to believe.”

“An inside job,” Rafa said. They all looked at him. “That’s what Shane told me. He didn’t know who, though.”

“Yes, well, they’ll find out.” Ramon’s nostrils flared. “By God, they’ll find out.” He took a deep breath. “But let’s not focus on that today. We’re just thankful we have our Rafa back. And…” He paused. “And there are important things we need to discuss.”

“Are you sure you’re up for this, Raf?” Matthew asked, his brow furrowed. “Dude, I’d want to sleep for a week after that.”

“I’m sure. I don’t want to wait. So, as you know, I’m gay.” He motioned to Ashleigh. “We’re gay. And we realize now that you suspected, but you didn’t think we were going to come out. You thought we’d just live our lives in secret.”

Camila clasped her hands together tightly, the material of her pantsuit swishing as she crossed her legs. “You never breathed a word. We assumed things were as you wanted them.”

“Well, we tried, but they really weren’t.” Rafa rubbed his face. “I mean, it was our choice to pretend. It was. I’m not saying it’s all your fault. Or even any of your fault. Not really. But if this is the part where you try to convince us to stay together and have a ‘respectable’ marriage…”

“No, Rafael. Your choices will be your own.” His father tugged at his tie, a nervous gesture Rafa hadn’t seen in years. “But why? Why didn’t you talk to us?”

“You’re kind of busy, Dad.” Rafa shook his head. “Wait. No, it’s not fair to put it all on you. If I’d tried to talk to you guys, you would have listened. I don’t know how you would have reacted, but I can’t use your job as an excuse. I…” His feelings spun together in a tangle, and he struggled to find the right words. “I really wanted to tell you. I was going to.”

Ramon frowned. “When?”

Rafa blew out a long breath, and could feel everyone’s eyes on him. Ashleigh gave his hand a quick squeeze. “After the reelection. When I went to college, I realized it was time.”

“When did you first think you were…” Camila waved her hand.

“
Gay
, Mom.” Adriana rolled her eyes. “
Gay.
Not saying the word won’t make it less true. See, this? This is why he didn’t talk to you. This is why none of us talk to you. Not about anything that matters.”

Their mother flinched, picking up her coffee cup and stirring the contents with little rattles of her spoon.

Chris spoke up. “Ade, come on. This isn’t about ganging up on Mom.”

“Easy for you to say—you’re perfect,” Adriana snapped.

Chris sat back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, come
on
.” She shook her head. “You’re their perfect firstborn son who can do no wrong.”

As Chris gestured defensively and opened his mouth, Hadley quieted him with a hand on his arm. “I think we should keep this discussion about Rafa.”

“Yes. Well said.” Camila squared her shoulders, and she didn’t hesitate this time. “When did you first think you were gay, Rafa?”

He fidgeted as all eyes swung back to him. “I don’t remember not knowing. It was like…I just knew it deep down. I didn’t really understand it, but I knew. And by sixth grade, I knew what it meant. And I knew it was me.” He watched his parents. “When did you first think I was gay?”

They glanced at each other. Ramon shifted uneasily on the couch. “From the time you were in junior high, I suppose. You had that friend. Bradley. You were very close.”

Rafa frowned. “Brad? Nothing ever happened with him.”

“Yes, but the way you looked at him…” Camila said. “You never looked at girls that way. You were different than your brothers.”

“Oh.” It was true that he’d had a huge crush on Brad Newton. The thought that his parents had noticed all those years ago made his stomach acidy.

“And you were going to tell us,” Ramon said. “After you started college?”

“I was building up to it.” Rafa glanced at Ashleigh. “Ash and I talked about it a lot. I was thinking Christmas holidays, but when I came home for Thanksgiving, you made that announcement about the bill. Constitutional marriage. Because
my
marriage wouldn’t be right in the eyes of the constitution. It wouldn’t be worthy. After that, I couldn’t tell you. Ash and I decided we’d fake it. At first it was just to avoid questions about why we weren’t dating anyone. Then we came up with our plan to wait until we graduated. It was easier to go under the radar as a couple. That’s…that’s what I tried to do pretty much all the time. Stay unnoticed.”

The silence in the room was thick and cloying in the air. “Under the radar,” Ramon repeated hollowly.