Vanquished (18 page)

We walk a few moments in silence. “I saw you taking another pill,” I say casually. “They must really be helping.”

“They are. I feel so much better with them. Even Mom has started taking them.”

“So Markus isn't doing any better?”

“No, not really.”

We fall silent again. I want to know what she's keeping from me, so I say, “I don't mind swinging by your house, if you want to get your allowance vouchers.”

She shakes her head. “No, I think we're OK on food.”

I don't believe her for a second, but it's apparent she's not giving up her secret yet.

The market place is busy today. Food allowances are issued on varying days each week, this way everyone staggers their visits. But I guess everyone wants to enjoy the sunshine today.

“I haven't been to the market lately,” Ava says. “Is it always this busy?”

I look at her. Her black hair glimmers in the sun, and I realize it's greasy. The more I study her the more I see other upsetting things. Her arms are too skinny, and her cheeks look hollow. I wonder when she ate last.

“Not always,” I say, and I pull her toward the fruit table and buy two pears. “Here.” I shove one into her hands. “Eat with me. I feel weird eating alone.” It's a lie, but I don't feel guilty for saying it. And technically, we just broke the law, since sharing allowances isn't allowed, but Ava needs to eat. Whatever is in those pills she takes isn't good for her.

Again Fischer's stories come back to me. Something nags at the back of my brain, but I can't put my finger on it.

We fight our way through the throngs to browse what's available. The merchandise changes from time to time, depending on growing seasons.

We come to a vegetable table and I see fat ears of corn. The color is good, and I bet even Dad would appreciate how well this produce turned out. I decide to buy two ears for supper that night, just to show him, but when I look up at the seller I freeze.

Easton stands with his dad at their produce table. He looks pale, and I think there's even a faint bruise on one cheek, but he's here.

Easton has not been transferred to a Lesser city.

Easton abandoned Jamie.

Burning hot steam rises in my belly. It works its way up to my chest, and then my whole head feels like it's in an oven. I'm on fire. The heat consumes me. It melts me.

I want to scream. I want to hit him.

I want to cry. Poor Jamie. My dear, sweet Jamie all alone in a Lesser city. At least I assume that's where she is, since she swore she wouldn't abort her baby.

Their baby.

“How much for the corn?” I demand. I'm not even trying to be civil, and I really just want him to notice me.

He glances at me now, noting my voice dripping with hatred. He sees me and freezes. At first he says nothing, but finally he squeaks out, “Two allowances.”

I stuff the ears in my bag but don't give him my allowance voucher. “You can put those on Jamie's bill,” I say and walk away.

A few people stare at me, their eyes wide with surprise. I can practically hear their thoughts…
Did that girl just steal corn from the produce table?

I don't care what they think.

I storm through the crowd, Ava hot on my heels. I feel a little guilty when I remember Ava. The poor thing is probably having a panic attack right about now. Almost on cue, she pops another tiny pill.

Something grabs my arm like a metal clamp. Strong fingers dig into my flesh and spin me around.

I'm staring into Easton's anxious face.

For a moment I'm frozen, as still as stone. I can't believe he's touching me. Sure, most people don't touch—but for a boy to touch a girl isn't just strange. It's illegal.

“Let go,” I demand.

He does, immediately. A few people still watch us curiously. Anxiously.

I have the good sense to glance around for guards, but I think I'm safe for the moment.

“Can you tell me what's going on?” His voice cracks on the last word and I don't understand why. It's almost like he's going to cry.

“What are you talking about?” I ask. He must know what's going on. His table was absent the other day, right after they took Jamie. And he's got faded bruises to prove he was in some sort of altercation.

“Where did they take Jamie?” he says. “After the procedure, I mean? They said she would come home after the procedure.”

The world suddenly swirls around me, like a toy top I used to play with as a little kid. It's so fast I'm afraid I might throw up.

I must look pretty bad because Ava takes my wrist softly in her hands. “Are you OK?” she asks.

“What are you talking about?” I say. “What procedure?”

Easton swallows hard and shifts from foot to foot. “You know,” he says, glancing around. “After they aborted the pregnancy.”

“What's going on here?” someone asks. It's Easton's father. He looks seriously unhappy with his forehead wrinkled up and his mouth drooping down.

“She's a friend from school,” Easton says. “It's fine.”

“I'm no friend of yours,” I say, just as his dad says, “Well, I need you back at the table. Move it.”

We all stare at each other for one long, uncomfortable moment.

“I'll be right there, Dad,” Easton says.

His dad gives him a scathing look but fights his way back to their table.

“She didn't have the procedure,” I say. “She swore she wasn't going to. It wasn't what she wanted.” I know my words are true. Jamie wouldn't have given in, would she?

Easton glances nervously at his dad. “There's too much to explain, and I don't know what's going on myself. We need to meet somewhere. Will you meet me?”

I can't believe he's asking me this. Doesn't he realize how much trouble he's already caused by asking girls to meet him?

Still, the need to know how Jamie was after they took her wins out. “Where?”

“Tonight,” he says. “I'll knock on your door three times.”

I don't ask what time. I don't need to know, because I'll be awake regardless.

“Fine,” I say. “I'll be waiting.”

 

 

 

 

31

 

Ava's oddly calm as we leave the market place. I feel people's gaze on us as we walk, and I finally have the good sense to care. What if they turn us in? Someone there is bound to know at least one of us.

“You didn't get any food,” Ava says.

“I don't care.” Which is true, but Dad will care when we don't have any food to eat for supper. Which means I'm going to have to go back. I sigh. “Can we just hang out at your house for a little while? Until the crowd at the market changes?”

She nods. “Of course.” We walk there quickly, eager to get out of the open.

Her house looks eerily abandoned. Dust covers the table, the chairs, and their radio. Dirty dishes are piled in the sink. The dried food on the plates is discolored and hard, and I can tell the dishes have been there a while.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Ava says. She slips into the hallway and I hear a door close.

The drapes are all pulled and the house is dark. I flip a light switch but nothing happens. I frown. That's odd, but maybe they've used all their electrical allowance for the month.

My mouth is hot and dry from all the excitement with Easton, so I open a cabinet to grab a glass, but the cabinet is empty. I open another, and another, and another. They're all empty.

Finally, I find a single cabinet with a few dishes. I grab a glass and turn on the water. Only a trickle comes out.

Ava comes up behind me. “What do you need?”

“I was thirsty,” I say. Something is very wrong with this picture.

She smiles. “Yeah, our water is kind of pathetic. We don't get very much, so you have to hold your glass under there for a while to fill it up.”

I shake my head and set the glass down. “Ava, you should have enough water allowance for your own family. If this is all you have there is something wrong.”

She shrugs and sits on a stool at her counter. “There's nothing wrong, Hana. Trust me.”

“Ava, why don't you have any food or electricity?”

Her eyes widen and her mouth drops open a fraction. She seems surprised I noticed. “Sometimes the Greaters let you trade one allowance for another, when you need it.”

That nagging I felt earlier comes back full force. I hear what she says, but I can hardly believe it. “You traded all of your allowances? For what?”

She looks at the counter and traces her finger in the dust. “Medical allowance,” she says in a small voice.

“For Markus?” I doubt this, but I want to make sure. After all, what would they be doing to him that would require such high medical allowance? They wouldn't let the family give up food, electricity, and water to pay for it. They would simply move Markus to a Lesser hospital.

She shakes her head, confirming my suspicion. “Not for him. For us.”

It dawns on me then and I get that throw up feeling in my throat. “To pay for your pills.”

She nods.

I grab her shoulders as gently as I can and shake her. “Ava, you have to stop taking them. Don't you see what's happening?”

“I can't help it, Hana. I need them.”

“No, you need food, Ava! And water! You can't live without those things.”

She shrugs. She still won't look at me.

I can't believe the Greaters would let this happen. Whatever Markus was doing that night was big. Otherwise, the Greaters wouldn't be going to such lengths to keep the family quiet.

We're all in their hands, I realize. We're their puppets, keeping their country running so they can continue to rule unquestioned. I don't feel sick at the thought, but I do feel determined. I am determined to stop them.

“Ava, promise me you won't do it this month. You have to eat. You have to drink! You'll die.”

She pulls away from me limply. “OK, I won't trade this month. I'll only get the pills I can buy with my regular medical allowance.”

I search her eyes for deception, but they're so hollow I can't tell a thing. I have to take her word for it.

When enough time passes, I get ready to leave. “Are you sure you don't want me to come?” Ava asks.

“That's OK,” I say. “There's no need for both of us to humiliate ourselves further.”

Ava smiles and gives me a hug. I wonder why we've gone all this time without touching other people in our society. It really is growing on me. “I'll see you around,” she says.

I leave Ava at her house and head back to the market. Easton and his dad are gone, thankfully. The other vendors haven't forgotten my outburst, though, and they watch me warily. I buy eggs, remembering a few weeks ago when I came with Jamie and she bought some. I get a few other necessary items and hurry home. Easton's words replay in my mind, and I worry for Jamie. Did they make her have an abortion?

I turn the corner onto my street just as I realize I made a mistake. A big, glaring mistake. I agreed to meet Easton right in front of Ava. Kindhearted, loveable, unstable Ava. Will she tell anyone? What if she wants her pills and they won't give them to her? Will she give me up?

I can't believe I was so stupid.

I slip inside my house and lock the door—it's obviously becoming a habit.

Big blunder or not, tonight can't come fast enough.

 

 

 

 

32

 

The moon is high overhead, but I'm not at all tired. I pace my small room. Back and forth, back and forth. I don't dare look out my window in case a passing guard glances up. My dad's been asleep for at least two hours. How long is Easton going to make me wait?

Somewhere an owl hoots. A stray dog barks. A knock echoes.

Sprinting downstairs, I wipe my sweaty hands on my bed pants. Easton slips inside as soon as I open the back door.

“Is it safe?” he asks.

“Yes, my dad's been asleep for hours.” I have no idea if he's a light sleeper, though. I've never tested him to find out. “Tell me what happened.” I can't wait another moment to hear how Jamie was. My heart aches at the thought of her pain, and I miss her.

His hands shake, and so does his voice. “They locked me in a room and asked me a bunch of questions. They wanted to know how we'd met, where we snuck around, and who helped us. I kept telling them
no one
helped us, but they didn't believe me. They kept saying things about our group, and I just kept telling them there wasn't a group.”

A group? They think Jamie and Easton are part of the rebellion. “What did you say?”

“I told them the truth. We'd met at school and just snuck around here and there when Jamie didn't have anything to do, or when we didn't have class.”

“How was Jamie?”

He shakes his head. “They wouldn't tell me about her at first. They kept saying she was having her procedure. Finally, they said she'd come back home as soon as the procedure was finished. I've been waiting to see her, but I haven't yet.”

Anger and irritation bubble up my spine. “You mean you never actually saw her?”

He shakes his head.

I work to keep my voice low. All this and I'm not going to find out how she was. “What do you mean you never saw her? How do you know they were telling the truth? How do you know they didn't send her away to some Lesser city while you go on with your life?”

He wipes at his eyes, his chin quivering. “I wanted to go with her. I promised her I would. They told me she chose to have the procedure. They said she'd agreed to never see me again.”

“Jamie wouldn't have done that,” I say. And I'm sure of it. Jamie wanted to be with Easton more than anything, and she wouldn't have chosen to have the procedure and stay away from him.