Vanquished (16 page)

Fischer slips out of the room, and I keep myself from sighing in frustration.

“She took a walk earlier today. That's a good sign, isn't it?”

“It certainly seems to be a step in the right direction.”

The urge to plead her case overwhelms me, like this will be the last chance I get. “Isn't there anything more we can give her? Some type of real medication?”

He smiles at me like he's talking to a small child. “I'm sorry, Hana. It's not like the Early Days when they had access to all sorts of chemotherapy drugs. We have to work with what we've got.” He makes a few final notations and nods at me. “Have a good day.”

I can't believe he brought up chemo drugs. I want to throw my glass of water at him. Instead, I watch as he retreats from the room.

 

 

 

 

28

 

My mom doesn't wake up before curfew, so I kiss her forehead and slip from the room to head home. Ava steps out the front door of the hospital as I come from the stairs. I jog to catch up, and see her just as she puts something into her mouth—a pill, I presume.

“Hi, Ava.”

Her eyes are red rimmed from crying. What could be bad enough to bring her down from her pill-high? “Oh, hi Hana. How's your mom?”

“She's the same, I guess. Any news on Markus?”

Ava shakes her head as we move outside. “They let my dad see him for a few minutes. Dad said he's hooked up to all kinds of machines. I didn't even know they had those kinds of machines. Anyway, we keep hoping they'll let someone else in, but they don't.”

“Did you ever try to figure out what he was doing that night?” This is a dangerous question, I know. If Ava is in constant contact with the doctors for her pills then she could let something dangerous slip. Something like the fact I'm questioning her, or the fact that I'm suspicious about Markus in the first place.

“No, I wouldn't know where to start.”

I don't tell her I've done my own investigation. We reach the corner where we split to go to our own blocks. I hate to leave her. “Ava, would you like to go to the market place with me?”

Her eyebrows shoot up, and her eyes light with—pleasure? “Really? I'd love to!”

I wonder if she's as lonely as I am. “Great. What about tomorrow?”

“That would be great. I'll meet you after school?”

“Sure,” I say.

She hesitates again. “So you have to give a speech on Saturday?”

Her question brings waves of nerves. I had forgotten about my speech—again. What am I going to say in front of all those people?

“I guess,” I say. “I better get home and write one.” I say it jokingly, like it's no big deal.

She laughs. “Right. I guess I'll see you later.”

We wave and part ways. Even though we've never been friends before, we can understand each other. We both know how it feels to practically live at the hospital, and to walk in pain.

As I walk toward home, my mind goes back to graduation. My Test is ten days away. What if they send me away and Mom isn't better? The thought makes my stomach cramp up like it's being twisted in the washing machine.

Before I know where my feet are taking me, I'm at the levy. The sun hasn't disappeared completely, but it's sinking fast. In minutes I'll have to hurry home, but for now all I can do is stare across the river. I look toward the sky where the lights appeared two weeks ago. It seems like an eternity has passed.

Nothing's there tonight, and I run to make it home in time. I get to work making supper, but thoughts of Mom aren't far from my mind.

“Dad, did they say anything to you about a special doctor coming to see Mom tomorrow?” I ask over supper. We're sitting at the table, which is something we haven't done much of over the last few weeks.

“Sure. I'm pretty sure I'll be there. Why?”

“Dr. Bentford acted like I could come, too. I just wondered.”

My dad smiles. “We're all encouraged by her progress. I'm sure the special doctor will have plenty to say. Don't worry about not being there. We'll get her fixed up.”

I smile back, but my heart isn't in it. What if the doctor mentions chemotherapy as part of Mom's treatment? I know the chances are slim, but my hope just won't die.

What would the Greaters do to me if I skipped school just once?

Morning comes too quickly, and as I'm getting ready for school, there's a knock from the downstairs door. No one knocks on my door, ever. Even when Jamie used to come over, she generally just walked in.

My dad's already left for the agricultural center so I bolt downstairs and throw the door open. Fischer stands on the doorstep. “Morning.”

My mouth drops open and I stare for what must be a full minute. Finally, my better sense takes over and I glance up and down the street to see if anyone's seeing this. The coast is clear. “What are you doing here?”

“You asked what I did on my days off. Today is a day off, and instead of spending it at the hospital like I usually do, I decided to relax. Per your suggestion.”

I nod stupidly. “OK, but what are you doing here?”

He grins. “Would you like to spend the day with me?”

I truthfully don't understand what he's asking me. We are single members of the opposite sex; we aren't allowed to spend the day together. Not only that, but I have school.

“You don't want to?” His smile falters ever so slightly, but his eyes still look hopeful. He reminds me of a stray dog begging for scraps. Just before a guard puts it down.

But still, his question flusters me. I tuck a stray strand of blond hair behind my ears. “I do, it's just that I can't. I have school, and I don't really want to make a habit of breaking laws.” I'm surprised to realize I mean it. I
do
want to spend the day with him. A lot.

Guilt burns my insides like boiling water as I think of Keegan. He'll be home soon. What would he say about my feelings?

Still, how could Fischer suggest cutting school? No one cuts school, ever. Cutting even once can get you demoted, if the teachers deem it wasn't for a legitimate reason. Only slackers skip out on their duties, and slackers end up as Lessers.

My reasons don't faze him. He holds up a paper. “I have a pass.”

I frown and take the paper, even though I know I need to hurry. I'm going to be late for school at this rate. I unfold it and read quickly. My head snaps up. “You have a medical pass?”

“It'll get you out of school for the day, so you can meet the specialist who's coming in to see your mom.”

My heart swells up, and so do my eyes. I swipe in annoyance at the tears. A sudden urge to hug him in thanks sweeps over me, but I don't act on it. It doesn't matter if anyone is looking or not, that would be stupidly dangerous. “Thanks,” I say instead, but then I frown. “I thought you said we would spend the day together. Away from the hospital.”

“Meet me at noon, at the levies.” He waves and continues down the street then, like being at my house first thing in the morning is the most natural thing in the world. He shoves his hands in his pockets and starts whistling some happy-sounding tune.

I glance down at the medical pass in my hand. I don't have to go to school today. I try to remember if I've ever missed an entire day of school, but I'm pretty sure the answer is no. I grab my bag and race to the hospital.

My mom sits up in bed when I come in the room, and Dad sits near her. “Hana!” she says. “What are you doing here?”

I slip into the other chair by her bed. “I got a medical pass. Dr. Bentford told me the specialist was coming today, and I really wanted to be here.”

“I'm glad you're here, but I don't really see the significance of seeing a specialist. Honestly, what can they do any differently?” she says.

I want to tell her they can give her chemo drugs, but I keep that to myself. An hour passes, and then two. It's getting closer and closer to noon, and I don't want to miss my meeting with Fischer. So where is the specialist?

My mom drifts to sleep and I pick up one of her books.

“I wonder what's taking so long,” Dad says. “I'm going to stretch my legs.”

He steps from the room and I start my scan of the book. It's one that Jamie picked. I quickly put it down. I miss Jamie almost as much as I miss Mom being at home. We always walked home from school together. Sometimes, when our parents were in especially good moods, we even slept over at each other's houses.

That didn't happen too often just because our parents were always the tiniest bit afraid it was against the law—since technically we were out of our houses after curfew. Sometimes the guards did random sweeps of houses. They looked for contraband or laws being broken. I once heard of a family who had rigged the electrical meter to give them extra kilowatts. I guess they got demoted, too.

The door swings open and Dr. Bentford walks in. “Hana, you made it.”

I spring out of my chair, anxious to hear what the new doctor is going to say. “Yeah, I got a medical pass. My dad's here, too. He went for a walk.”

A second doctor enters the room. It's a large man—a really large man. I'm confused because I thought the Greaters had gotten rid of the obesity disease. I've never actually seen anyone who had it.

“This is Dr. Morgan. He'll be examining your mom.”

Dr. Morgan sticks out his meaty hand, and I shake it eagerly. I don't even think about how strange it is for him to touch me, or how sweaty his hand is.

“It's nice to meet you,” I say.

He gives me a slight smile, and we drop our hands. I notice his bald spot, and the way his upper lip beads with sweat. His nose is covered in enormous pores, and a few dark hairs curl out of it.

In spite of his gross appearance, I hope he can help Mom.

“What kind of treatments are you considering?” I blurt out. I know I should keep my mouth shut and let the doctor work, but I'm so nervous and on edge. Maybe he'll tell me he's come across a miracle food. Or a new medicine that's cheap to produce. Or a cure.

He doesn't do any of those things. “I'm afraid I don't have an answer for that yet. I'm just here to do a preliminary exam, and I'll come up with a plan of action after that.” He doesn't even look at me while he speaks.

The doctor asks me questions about her previous habits: what foods did she normally eat, what exercises did she partake in, how many hours did she work. I can't see how any of that is relevant, but I answer patiently.

Then they awaken Mom so Dr. Morgan can ask her a few questions, too. My dad slips back into the room, and they introduce themselves.

After an hour the doctors leave.
That's it?
I want to scream at them.
Aren't you going to do something?
But I don't say any of that, because doctors are Greaters, and we're not permitted to question the Greaters.

I glance at the clock on the wall. Five till noon. I sigh. At least I'll meet Fischer on time.

 

 

 

 

29

 

The sun warms my arms as I walk down the broken sidewalks. I'm glad it's almost summer time. I like the warm better than the cold, especially since I'm already shivering. Breaking the law isn't one of the most natural things in the world for me.

What will Fischer talk about? God? I can't deny I'd be interested to learn more.

I don't take the path directly from my house. Instead, I go past Ava's house and take the beaten path from there. I don't know which path Fischer took, but I doubt he knows where Ava lives, and it's doubtful he used this one. I don't want anyone to think we're meeting each other.

I see him long before he sees me. He faces the river, leaning back on his elbows, staring up at the sky. His brown hair glows in the light.

For the first time since meeting him, I let myself think he's attractive. Not that I haven't felt it before, I just haven't let myself think about it. I always push the thought away, and replace it with something about Mom, or Keegan, or Jamie. Or even Ava and Markus.

“Hey,” I say lightly.

He spins around, and I give a little wave.

“How did it go with the specialist?” he asks.

“It could have been better, I think.”

He pats the green grass beside him and I sit cross legged. “The doctor said he was just there to do a preliminary exam. He said he would work a plan up from there.”

Fischer watches me speak, not interrupting or pushing his thoughts on me. I'm glad for this. He's a good listener. When I'm done talking, he turns back to the river and resumes his leaning position.

How can he be so relaxed? I can't stop glancing around like the guards are just waiting for me to let my guard down.

“I only have six months left of my training,” he says casually.

This surprises me, though it really shouldn't. I try to think of what he wants me to say. “What will you do then? Are you planning to go back to your own city?”

He shakes his head. “I doubt they'll assign me there.”

This is a strange answer. “Why not?” In fact, it would be unusual for them to
not
assign him to his home city.

“Look at that bird,” he says instead of answering me. He points to a huge black raven circling something dead on the bank across the river. “It can go wherever it wants to go. It doesn't have to worry about food allowance, or medical allowance, or electrical allowance.”

He's going somewhere with this, but I can't think of where. I like listening to him talk, though. His voice is like music, his words a song.

This is why he makes a great medic, I realize. Whenever he speaks he calms people. Makes them feel better. Helps them rationalize instead of freak out over the scary medical things they're facing.

“It can return to its family if it chooses. No one keeps them apart.”